Carried Away
by becstothefecsio
Summary: Sequel to If we ever meet again & All that we needed. After dating Jesse for almost 3 years with no clear end game, Beca starts to get doubtful and decides to call it quits then finds out she's pregnant.
1. Chapter 0: Prologue-ish

**AN:** This is probably the shittiest prologue ever to be written and I amterribly sorry for the bad quality.

I just wrote this down to recap on what had happened in _**If We Ever Meet Again**_ and _**All That We Needed.**_ You could go ahead and skip this if you don't need to jog your memory.

* * *

Beca met a sketchily friendly married guy named Jesse in a nightclub's toilets, trying to help a stranger sober up. She gave him a ride to his place after helping him with the passed out drunk stranger.

Beca met the same guy three years later at a wedding she shouldn't have gone to but did; her ex-boyfriend's wedding.

Beca had a drunk one-night stand with Jesse after he told her that he was no longer married to his high school sweetheart whom he had a baby girl called Sam with.

Then Jesse managed to convince her that he was a perfect roommate and moved in with her after they agreed on a set of rules that included the fact that they wouldn't ever hook up again.

They broke the ground rule and ended up developing feelings for each other but it took Beca a little longer than it took Jesse. However, it didn't matter because he had to follow his ex-wife across the country, to New York City, to stay close to his baby daughter.

Beca moped around for six months over Jesse and he did the same over her until she got a promotion that would have her move to New York.

They were both dumb enough to jump into a relationship despite the fact that Beca was planning on going back to L.A. as soon as the same position she got promoted to was available.

Jesse happened to have knocked his ex-wife up in a drunk encounter and it put some pressure on him.

Beca chickened out after her mother gave her a reality check, telling her follow her heart and stay in NYC, and broke up with Jesse leaving him devastated.

Jesse tried to keep it together but getting into an accident with his pregnant ex-wife and daughter wrecked him.

Beca saw Jesse go down a bad path but couldn't help him because he didn't let her.

Beca's work had a hand in getting them back together and him letting her back into his life.

It took them one frightful incident where Jesse tried to have it his way with Beca without her approval to realize that they couldn't actually date unless they were better apart.

Beca chose to stay in NYC for her work.

They worked on becoming better individuals then gave it another shot.


	2. Chapter 1

**AN:** I really shouldn't be doing this but I am. I know that I'll be too exhausted with school work to update regularly, so let me apologize in advance for that.

This is set almost three years after All That We Needed ends.

Beca is 32 and Jesse is 33 in case you were wondering.

Enjoy and leave your thoughts in a review.

* * *

Beca parked her car in the apartment complex underground parking lot at 2:10 am. She stepped out of her car, grabbed her high heels that she had taken off in order to drive, and started to make her way to the elevator.

It was really late so she carefully unlocked the front door and put her high heels down before she rubbed her arms at the chilliness of the apartment.

She walked to the coffee table and grabbed the AC's remote, rolling her eyes at the number on the remote's screen. "And, he wonders why he catches colds in the middle of the summer," she murmured, changing the temperature from 64.5°F to 77°F.

She sighed, put the remote control down and made her way the master bedroom, planning to change from the dress she was wearing into pajamas and remove her makeup.

Walking into the room, she shook her head at the way Jesse was curled up, clearly cold, and made her way to the bed, grabbing the duvet that Jesse kicked off in his sleep and throwing it over him.

Beca slipped off her dress, changed into one of Jesse's t-shirt, removed her make up then climbed on the bed.

She eyed Jesse's sleeping body and leaned over to move her boyfriend's head in an attempt to make him stop snoring.

She had told him to go see a doctor and figure out why he had started snoring but he had been pushing it back saying it wasn't that big of a deal, but it was to her because she slept in the same bed as him.

Some nights, she'd wear headphones to sleep but she really didn't feel like it this night.

She tried for a while to change his position but gave up when he shifted in his sleep and gave her his back. She angrily picked up a pillow then walked out of the bedroom, deciding to crash on the couch, she could have picked the guest room but she chose the couch because he hated it when she'd spent the night on it.

He hated it because whenever she did sleep on the couch she'd wake up with back pain. She knew it and she was willing to tolerate back pain if it meant he'd go fix his snoring problem.

* * *

Beca woke up to distant voices coming from the kitchen. She sat up and pressed a hand against her side. Yep, she should have spent the night in the guest room.

She exhaled and got on her feet.

"Morning," Beca mumbled, taking a seat next to Sam, Jesse's daughter.

"Good morning," Sam tilted her head as she ate her cereal and swung her feet back and forth.

"Where's your dad?" Beca asked, looking around the kitchen.

"He hurt his finger cutting bananas and told me to keep eating while he goes to take care of it and be back," the 6 years old girl told Beca.

Beca nodded and got up, deciding to go check on Jesse and ran into him in the bedroom's doorway. She stepped back and took his hand, checking the cut.

"I barely cut it," he told.

"Are we out of band aid?" she asked.

"No, but it's not a deep cut," he paused when she looked up. "It barely bled."

"So, you just washed it and decided you're good?" she shook her head when he shrugged.

"You could have at least put some ointment on it," she told him as she walked him back to the bathroom.

* * *

"Happy?" he asked when she applied antibiotic ointment then put a Band-Aid on the cut index.

"Yeah," she put the first aid kit back in the cabin and grabbed her toothbrush, deciding to brush her teeth.

"Why did you spend the night on the couch again?" he asked.

"You know why," she mumbled her reply.

He watched her for a few seconds then turned on his heels. "I'm gonna go finish breakfast," he said and left the bathroom.

* * *

"So, Sam, how excited are you that your mom is going to be back in town?" Beca asked when she sat down next to Sam.

" _This_ much," Sam spared her hands wide open as she stretched out the first word. Beca rubbed her back while she smiled at her.

Sam's mother, Sandra, got married. She and her husband Doug went on their honeymoon, leaving Sam to stay with Jesse (and Beca since they lived together.)

"Thanks," Beca said to Jesse when he placed a mug of coffee in front of her.

"How did the show go?" Jesse asked as he went back to cutting bananas.

"It was fine. You went to the VMAs before you know how it is," she brought the mug her lips. "Besides, I was just presenting this year, I could have left right after presenting and no one would have noticed," she paused to take a sip while he cracked a couple of eggs into a bowl in which he mixed the eggs with bananas.

"But you stayed and even went to the after party." He turned on his heels and placed the bowl on the counter.

"I was invited; I couldn't exactly say no to Rihanna," she said and put the mug down. Wincing when she got up to put food for Bender in his bowl. Beca really regretted not spending the night in the guest room because the back pain was unbearable.

Jesse glanced at her when he heard her softly moan bending down to place the bowl for the dog then began whistling so happy together as he made the bananas pancakes his daughter loved.

He was determinant not fall for it. She spent the night on the couch and it made her back hurt because she knew he'd feel bad for it and go see a doctor. He didn't think it was that much of a problem and didn't have the time to do it anyway.

"When are Sandra and Doug flying in?" Beca asked.

"They should get here around 2 pm. Sandra said she'd come over and pick Sam up," he told her.

"I figured we'd stay in today, since there's a heatwave, and bake or something," he added as flipped a pancake.

He glanced at Beca. He felt some tension and was testing the waters.

"Yeah, that sounds cool," Beca shrugged. "As long as your kid is on board, I don't mind," she said.

"Oh, Bec, what if we do a bake off and Sam could be the judge?" He placed a pancake on a plate.

"Eh, I don't know about that," Beca clicked her tongue. "I think Sam would actually want to participate," Beca tilted her head to look at the kid to find her nodding.

"I'll judge," Beca offered.

"Not so fast," Jesse chuckled, knowing that his girlfriend was trying to get out of having a bake off.

"Sam can pick one us to bake with and also judge," he pointed at his daughter. "Of course, we know who the better baker between us is, so Sammy will be on my team," he shrugged.

" _Hey_ ," Beca stretched out the word, slightly offended. "Not because you're into baking you get to claim you're better at it."

"Sam who's better at baking?" Jesse asked his daughter.

"You," Sam exclaimed.

"Thank you," he grinned at his daughter then placed another pancake on the plate.

"Okay, what are we gonna bake?" Beca asked, giving in. "Sammy what do you want us to make?" she turned to the kid.

Sam turned thoughtful, taking Beca's question seriously before she answered, "pies."

"I can do pies," Beca shrugged. "We'll go get everything we need for this before I kick your sorry butt at this," Beca told Jesse.

"Okay," he chuckled. "Let's eat and shower first, though," he said while turning off the stove.

"I don't feel like eating," Beca took the plate from him and put it on the kitchen island near Sam.

"You feeling all right?" Jesse asked as he opened the fridge and pulled a pitcher of orange juice.

"I woke up feeling a little nauseated."

"Want me to take you see a doctor?" he asked, grabbing a glass then filling it with juice.

"It's probably nothing," she shrugged.

"If you're not going to eat at least drink this," he said, holding the glass her way.

She took it from him and grabbed another one so that he could fill it for his daughter.

Jesse placed a hand on her forehead, slightly frowning as he eyed her. "Well, you got no fever," he said, cupping her cheek. "Go back to bed, if you want to. We don't have to bake," he removed his hand and took the empty glass from her.

"I'm just feeling a little nauseated." She took a sip from the juice. "I'll be fine," she assured him. The nausea was mild; she figured it was the due to dehydration.

* * *

"Okay, you need to shower, missy," Jesse told his daughter as he wiped flour from his face. "Oh, you did not just stick your tongue at me," Jesse gasped in mock-shock. He scooped his daughter and began to tickle her side.

"Daddy, stop," she screamed with laughter.

They baked which made playing with flour, that Beca avoided taking part in, inevitable. She wasn't feeling well and Jesse didn't want to bother her while they had their bake off.

"Bec, start cleaning while I go clean this spazz up?" Jesse asked Beca, putting his daughter down.

"Yeah, sure," she nodded and began to clean.

"Thanks," Jesse grabbed a handful of flour and threw it at Beca.

"Dude, I showered like an hour ago!" she coughed and reached for flour with both of her hands then threw it at him.

"You can shower again," he wiped some of the flour from his face so that he could see. He had to mess with her. He couldn't resist.

"You're sweeping the floor, I'm just going to clean the counter," she told him.

"I'll do the cleaning," he sighed. "You didn't even participate in the flour fight," he added when she shrugged.

"Help Sam clean up and I'll take care of the kitchen," he patted his daughter's back.

"The broom is in the bathroom," Beca said as she reached to take Sam's hand in hers.

"Which one?" he asked.

Beca pointed at the small bathroom near the kitchen.

"Got it," he nodded.

"Wanna have a bubble bath until the pies are ready?" Beca asked the girl that was a foot smaller than her.

"Yes," Sam nodded, swinging hands with Beca.

"Can I tell you a secret and promise not to tell daddy?" Sam asked when Beca let go of her hand to run the water once they reached the bathroom.

"Sure, kid," Beca tilted her head.

"I think you do everything better than daddy but I didn't want to make him sad so I picked him," Sam told Beca, sounding really worried that her father would be sad if he knew how she truly felt.

Beca chuckled and sat on the edge of the tub. "Thanks kiddo," she smiled at Sam.

"We should probably get rid of the flour before you get inside the tub," Beca added as she eyed the 6 year-old girl.

"I'll do it," Sam assured Beca and was about to start then looked up. "I'll make the floor dirty."

"It's okay, I'll take care of that later," Beca told her.

Beca really liked having Sam over for the couple of weeks that Sandra and Doug took to go on their honeymoon. Sam usually stayed with them on weekends but the extended stay was fun. She actually made the apartment more alive.

* * *

"Where is she?" Jesse looked up once Beca joined him in the kitchen. She grabbed the cereal box and placed back in its spot.

"She's bathing," she answered. "She'll be in the tub until the pies are ready." Beca started to unload the dishwasher.

"Bec, I figured out how to load it the right way _aka_ your way," he told her while he swept the floor.

"Hooray," she sarcastically told him.

"C'mon I deserve more than that," he walked up to her. "I actually pulled some worth-noting effort."

"No, really, congrats, you finally did something I've been telling you how to do right ever since we got this thing," she continued to say in the same sarcastic tone. "It's amazing," she tilted her head to look at him when he rested his hand on her waist.

"What was that for?" she asked after he leaned in and kissed her.

"You've been back in NYC for a couple of days now from your three days trip to L.A. and we haven't even held hands once since you got here."

"Oh, so you just kissed me 'cause it's been a while," she nodded, looking back at the dishwasher.

"Your period is due soon so I'm gonna assume this passive-aggressive behavior is you pms-ing and stay out of your way," he removed his hand and stepped away from her while holding his hands up in defeat.

Instead of apologizing for being a bitch, Beca continued to unload the dishwasher in silence, choosing her thoughts over talking to him.

She had been thinking for a while about their relationship and where it was headed and it was bugging her tremendously.

Everyone seemed to be getting married just because. And, she didn't want it nor had Jesse even brought it up. She kind of knew that he wasn't planning on getting married again and it didn't bother her in the slightest. What bothered her was that ever since they move in together on their second anniversary things seemed to have stopped moving forward.

She didn't want to admit but she felt like they were drifting apart.

* * *

"Be honest Sammy, which one is better?" Jesse asked his daughter.

"Let her finish chewing, Jesse," Beca rolled her eyes from her spot in the living area.

"I like both," Sam finally said.

"Kid, I'm not raising you to give diplomatic answers," Jesse rested both his hands on the kitchen island. "We accept defeat when it's fair, don't we Bec?" he glanced up at Beca who had decided to go through e-mails on her laptop.

"Totally," Beca nodded, placing a pillow behind her in hopes getting a little comfortable.

"Fine. I guess, I like the apple pie more," Sam shrugged.

"You're a worthy opponent, Jess," Beca chuckled at the mock hurt look on Jesse's face.

"The blueberry pie is yummy, too, daddy," Sam added.

"Thanks, Sam," he smiled at his daughter. "You're honest and I really appreciate that." He leaned forward when his daughter held a spoonful of apple pie his way.

"That should be your mom," he mumbled when his cell phone chimed with a text. "Yep, it's her," he nodded unlocking it. "Go get your stuff," he looked up.

Beca put her laptop on the coffee table and got up.

She wrapped enough pie for Sam, her mother and stepfather then helped Sam put it in her back bag before she bid her farewell.

"See you soon," Sam said as she hugged Beca, tightly.

"Yeah," Beca placed a kiss on her head and patted her back then pulled away once Jesse came out of the bedroom wearing his flip-flops.

Beca ran her fingers through her hair and blew a breath as she looked at the front door after Jesse closed it behind them.

She went back to the couch and sat down, busying herself with e-mails.

Jesse was back in the apartment in less than 2 minutes. He tossed his keys on the coffee table. "I'm gonna cut myself a slice, want me to cut you some?" he asked.

"No, thanks," Beca replied.

"Beca, you're gonna have to eat, you know?" he said from the kitchen.

"I know," she said while drumming her fingers on the laptop.

"Your pie is really good," he admitted.

"Thanks."

Jesse sat down on the armchair, took off his flip-flop, and rested his feet on the coffee table.

"Could you pass me the remote?" Jesse asked.

Beca gave it to him then closed the e-mail tab and opened a new one deciding to go on Reddit instead of going through work e-mails.

* * *

They spent an hour in silence; Beca going from sub to sub on Reddit and Jesse watching a tennis game he found.

"The place feels empty without Sam," he said as he looked around, breaking the comfortable silence.

"Yeah," Beca agreed, looking up from her computer screen. "I got used to her wanting to learn how to do everything on her own," she said while rubbing the back of her neck. "You got a smart kid there, Jess."

"Thanks," he thanked her and placed the empty plate on the coffee table.

"Hey, Jesse," she started to say, bringing her fingernails to her lips.

"Yeah?" he looked at her.

"Um," she paused. "I think I wanna break up," she closed her laptop's lid and began to bite her fingernails.

"Sorry, you think what?" he asked in confusion.

"I think we should take a break." She got up.

"Why?" he got up as well and watched as she began to pace back and forth.

"I think we lost our spark," she shrugged.

"You don't love me anymore?" he asked, hurt by her words.

"You see the thing is that I _do_ love you but I'm not sure if I'm _in love_ with you which is why I think we should take a break."

She felt a weight lifted off her chest when she finally said what she had been thinking for a while.

"And a break will magically make things clear?" he asked and scoffed when she nodded.

"No, Bec, I'm gonna have to disagree with you on this one. Either you are in love with someone or you are not. If you fell out of love, you'll know it just like I know that I'm still deeply in love with you," he told her while tapping a couple of fingers against his chest.

"Jesse, I stayed in L.A. for three days and spent two nights on the couch," she paused when he stepped closer to her.

"You think I'm not attracted to you anymore?" he guessed then ran his fingers through his hair and sucked in a deep breath.

"We haven't even kissed in five fucking days. Last time we had sex was two months ago!"

"Don't blame it on me. You fractured your pelvic and told me that it hurt so I didn't come near you and just waited for you to say something but you didn't so I figured it still hurt. Also, it's less than that."

"What do you mean by less than that?" she asked.

"We had sex the day you hurt your wrist and the doctor at the ER gave a strong painkiller. You were seriously higher than fuck that day."

"Do you remember when this was exactly?" she stopped biting her nails.

"Like a month ago," he shrugged.

"What?" he arched an eyebrow and the horrified look on her face. "Beca, what's wrong," he asked when she walked pass him and paced to their bedroom.

"Jesse, I haven't been on the pill for more than month and a half," she told him as she wore her converse.

"Why did you stop taking it?" he asked. He knew how careful Beca was. It didn't make sense that she'd just stop taking birth control.

"It started to give me headaches and made me nauseous. I was supposed switch to a new pill but I didn't start taking the new one 'cause we weren't exactly having sex anymore." She took a baseball cap of his and wore it.

"I'll go get the pregnancy test, you stay in," he said resting his hands on her shoulders. "Try not to have an anxiety attack while I'm gone," he said while cupping her face then leaned in and placed a kiss on her forehead. "You could be worried over nothing."

"Jesse, my last period was light. Really. _Light_ ," she inhaled deeply.

"I'll be back as soon as I can," he removed his hands.

Beca sat down on the bed, trying not let herself have a panic attack, and held her head.

* * *

Jesse was back in no time. He had a drug store bag in his hand. Beca got up and took it from him then stepped into the bathroom and closed the door behind her.

He rubbed his face and waited. He looked up when he heard her flush the toilet and realized that she wasn't going to let him in so he didn't make an attempt to get inside the bathroom.

Three minutes later, Beca unlocked the door and didn't give him time to react before she paced out of the room. "Beca, wait," Jesse called after her seeing that she was crying.

"I need some time to think," she told him as she grabbed her car keys and walked out of the apartment.

The test result was clear judging by her reaction but he had to see for himself.

Jesse made his way to the bathroom, picked the stick, and blew a breath as he eyed the two pink lines.

He couldn't fight the smile that spread across his face. He knew the tears he saw weren't happy tears so he tried not to get his hopes up.


	3. Chapter 2

**AN:** Thank you for awesome words, people. I would love to hear ideas or stuff you wanna see. I really have limited knowledge about pregnancy, I'd appreciate if you told me stuff. Like, just throw in suggestion and I'll use the google machine to educate myself.

Leave your thoughts on this chapter, that would be dope. I never thought I'd write anything involving pregnancy and it's thrilling and weird because I really don't know what I'm doing.

* * *

It was late evening when Beca parked in the apartment complex parking lot. She was tired, nauseous and her back hurt like a bitch.

The minute she stepped inside the apartment, she was pulled into Jesse's embrace.

"Next time, take your phone with you," he told her as he tightly hugged her.

"Sorry," she apologized for worrying him and pulled away.

He nodded and cupped her face. "Look, I know you have a really serious decision to make but I want you to know that I'm okay with whatever you decide to do," he said and swallowed.

Jesse was basically telling her that he was fine with it if she chose to have an abortion even though he'd prefer if she didn't.

"I'm keeping it," she said and pulled her head back when he leaned in. "I'm serious about wanting a break from this," she gestured between them.

Jesse removed his hands and stuffed them in his pocket. "Beca, we have a baby on the way and you still want _"a break"_?"

"Yeah," she ran her fingers through her hair. "I'm not gonna trap you or myself in this relationship just because we're having a kid." She saw the hurt of his face and added, "oh, don't give me that look. You tried to stay with your ex-wife for Sam, how did that turn out?"

"What I had with Sandra is nothing like what we have. When we decided to break things off we didn't know she was pregnant with Sam."

"Tell me how this is different? 'Cause unless you're psychic and knew that—"

"Beca, I love you, damn it," he interrupted her in frustration. "We can fix whatever it is you think is broken. Stop being such a selfish bitch and think about our baby."

"I am thinking about our baby," she yelled. "I'm not sure I see a future with you. We haven't been moving forward for like a year now."

"We moved in together what's that if not moving forward?" he asked.

"I know that when we got together we agreed to take things slow but, dude, you got super cozy and stopped trying."

"Beca, do you _want_ to get married?" he cautiously asked.

"No. Not now," she paused. "Or anytime soon."

A shotgun wedding was out of the question.

"Am I missing steps here? Isn't marriage the next step after moving in together? Enlighten me, please, Bec, 'cause I really don't know what is going on in your head anymore!"

"I don't know what comes next. All I know is that I'm not sure about us. And, I don't wanna tie myself to you just because we're having a baby together. I won't bring up my kid in a home where his parents are more like roommates than they're a couple."

"Now that's bullshit," he scoffed. "We have a great thing going. We have stability. If you want to throw that away, just say so."

"I just want some space to figure out what I actually want from being with you."

He audibly sighed while rubbing his chin.

"Well, I can't leave you now," he shrugged. "You might think you can do it on your own, the whole pregnancy thing, but trust me on this one," he held her gaze, "you really can't."

"I'll be fine," she swallowed feeling dizzy all of the sudden. She had been nauseous the whole day but the dizziness was news and she hated that it will help Jesse prove his point.

"Yeah, well, I'm not going to let you deal with it on your own." He walked to her and wrapped an arm around her waist, seeing that she was close to fainting or throwing up. He wasn't sure.

"Did you eat anything while you were out?" he asked as he walked her to their bedroom.

"I couldn't risk throwing up in the car," she leaned against him.

"I'm gonna make you something that you will eat. We still have to talk," he said while rubbing her arm.

"I hate arguing with you," she clenched his t-shirt as they walked.

"Me too," he sighed.

He tried to feed her; she threw up and decided to sleep it off.

* * *

"Eat these," Jesse sat down on the bed while holding a bowl full of nuts in on hand and a bottle of water in another one.

"C'mon, Becs, you can't sleep all-day-long-morning-sickness off," he said when she groaned.

He rubbed her back. "You need food, which is why you're going to eat these nuts and when you feel better we'll find something you'd be willing to eat." He gave her a small smile when she sat up.

"My nausea keeps getting worse," she explained.

"Make an appointment at your OB/GYN tomorrow so that we'd know exactly how far along you are," he calmly told her as he handed her the bowl.

"Yeah," she nodded, bringing a couple of nuts to her mouth.

"So, how are we gonna do this?" she asked after a few minutes of silence.

"I won't move out until the baby is born and you don't need me," he firmly said. "I won't let you go through it alone." He looked down at his hands and chuckled. "Guess, you're rooming up with me again, Bec," he looked up.

"Yeah, I guess I am," she nodded. "We should come up with a set ground rules."

"I think we know each other well enough to not need any rules to follow to co-exist as friends and roommates." He rested his hands on the bed and threw his head back. "And please don't feel weird about wanting things that are considered inappropriate in terms of a friendship," he added while looking at the ceiling.

"Let's not think ahead of ourselves," she said, knowing that he talking about sex she was going to crave badly in the second trimester, or so she was led to believe.

"Yeah, I know," he sat up. "Also, during this _break_ , I'd appreciate it if you told when you're going to date other people."

"I'm not planning or dating anyone while I'm pregnant with your baby," she paused. "Are you planning on dating other people?" she asked. She didn't think the whole break thing through. She wanted some time off from their relationship but didn't consider the fact that he could see other people.

"Yeah, I was waiting for you say you're bored with me so that I could go fuck around," he rolled his eyes.

"I'm not bored with—"

"—you don't have to sugarcoat it," he cut her off, keeping his voice even and calm. "I thought about this while you napped. You want a break. Fine. But I'm not going to move out until our baby is like 6 months old."

"No, I'll move out." She leaned against the headboard then winced. He tilted his head in worry. "It's just my back," she assured him.

"I think your back pain is pregnancy related," he told her. "Is it in your lower back?" he asked as he climbed on the bed.

"Yeah," she nodded. "And, it's worse than period cramps," she said watching him get on his knees. "What?" she arched an eyebrow.

"What, what?" he rubbed his hands together. "C'mon, I'm giving you massage." He cracked his knuckles.

"It could be from sleeping on the couch," she paused and threw a couple of nuts in her mouth. "You don't have to."

"Beca, just turn around," he shook his head. "I'll go see a doctor over the first world problem that is snoring."

"Jesse, you're not the one who has to listen to it every night!" she put the bowl on the nightstand.

"Does it hurt here?" he pressed his hand against her lower back.

"Mhmm." She arched her back.

"You think you could lay down on your stomach and not throw up?" he asked.

"Yeah," she hesitantly nodded.

Jesse tugged her t-shirt all the way up he could see her bra then rested his hands on her back.

"Why do you want to move out instead?" he asked as he began massaging her lower back.

"Sam has a room here; I don't want her to give it up," she shrugged.

"So, you're willing to move out so that Sam doesn't have to give up her bedroom that she stays in on weekends?" he said in surprise.

"Yeah," she sighed, trying to get more comfortable. "My boobs hurt," she huffed and rested her weight on her elbows.

"Um." He rested his hands on her waist. "That sucks?" He went back to massaging her lower back and stopped when she moaned loudly.

"No, keep going," she tilted her head.

"For how long have you been thinking about breaking up?" he asked as he pressed his thumb against her back.

"It's just a break," she corrected him, rotating her neck.

He rolled his eyes because it was the same in his opinion.

"Since Benji and Emily got engaged."

"That's more than three months ago," he frowned.

"I was, like, waiting for you to do something wrong so that I could justify the way I'm feeling about us." She felt him tense up so she tilted her head. "I'm sorry, Jesse."

"Bec, it's fine," he shrugged but his tone said otherwise.

"No," she rolled on her side then carefully sat up. "I should have thought this through instead of just blurring out what I wanted 'cause I couldn't ignore the way I was feeling anymore. That's really insensitive and I'm sorry," she rubbed her forehead. "It's just…" she trailed off.

"You didn't know how to bring it up?" he guessed. She nodded.

"Well, I'm sorry that I didn't pick up on how you were feeling," he told her as she leaned against the headboard. "I really thought we're fine." He sat down next to her and helped her place a pillow behind her.

"Hey, Bec, not that I'm complaining or anything but can I know why you decided to keep it?" he asked while Beca pulled her hair up in a ponytail. "'Cause you looked anything but happy earlier."

"I had a minor panic attack while waiting for the fucking stick. It was as if a damned ghost started chopping onion in front of me. I mean, I haven't even considered having a kid yet and I knew before I saw the result that I'm having one and it fucking scared me," she paused for a second then corrected herself, " _we're_ having one." She sighed.

"I should have been with you; I'm sorry."

"I would have punched you in the dick if you were with me," she told him.

He subconsciously put a hand over his junk.

"I cried in the car and drove around until I felt like I was going to get sick so I parked and walked instead then found a baby stuff store. And because I'm an idiot I decided to go in, you know, hoping it could help me, like, decide or something," she sniffed shrugging. "It didn't," she looked at him, "it just made me cry more and made everyone at the store think I had a miscarriage and was mourning," she chuckled humorlessly.

"I'm blaming hormones for all this," she said in a cracking voice when he threw an arm over her shoulder and pulled him to him because he saw that she was going to start crying.

"I decided to keep it 'cause, honestly I don't think I'd ever willingly get pregnant. Besides, I'm in my thirties, career wise I'm doing fine, I think can take care of another human being, and I know that you're a decent human being that I don't mind mixing my genetic material with," she shrugged.

"I knew you kept me around for my looks," he said and rested his chin on her head then smiled when she chuckled.

"You're not as good looking as you think you are," she patted his cheek then slapped him playfully and wiped her eyes with her free hand.

"How cute were the clothes?" he asked her once laid down on her side, facing him.

"So cute I vomited a little in my mouth," she told him.

"We're going back to that place," he grinned.

His girlfriend, who he loved deeply, was bored with their relationship and broke up with him— even if she insisted it was a just break— and it sucked but he couldn't get mad at her for being upfront with him, especially since she was going to have his baby.

He liked to believe that the baby would bring them together eventually as much of a cliché as that sounded.

"No, I can't go back there," she shook her head. "Everyone saw me weep."

"I forgot that you're not supposed to show human emotions," he nodded. "My bad, Bec."

"Shut up," she sniffed, reaching for the bowl. She felt his gaze so she tilted her head and found him looking at her stomach.

"It doesn't look nor feel different," she said and pulled her t-shirt up after putting the bowl between them.

"Can I feel it?" he asked, looking up to meet her gaze.

"Yeah," she shrugged.

"Thanks," he thanked her and rested his palm on her belly.

"So, this is weird," he told her as he rubbed his hand against her skin.

"Yep," she nodded in agreement.

"Hey there, little one, I know you're just a cell now and can't hear me but I'm gonna talk to you anyway," he paused. "I cannot wait for you to leave your mother's comfortable womb and join us—" he looked up hearing Beca gag.

She quickly got up and ran to the bathroom, dropping on her knees when she reached the toilet. He ran after her.

"Make sure to tell your OB/GYN to prescribe something for your nausea," Jesse said as rubbed her back.

"I will," she blew a breath and flushed the toilet. "I can't wait for her or him to get out of my womb either," she sniffed taking his hand and getting up. She gripped his hand feeling dizzy then held her head.

"You need to eat," Jesse frowned. "C'mon, we'll walk around the block. Fresh air will make you feel better. We'll get something you'd eat and keep a bag you could throw up in if you got sick," he said and kept eyeing her until she nodded.

"Let me brush my teeth first," she loosened her grip and kept looking at their hands when he didn't let go.

"Sorry," he apologized and pulled away.

* * *

"When do you want to tell our parents?" Jesse asked as they walked.

"I have no idea," she looked at different stores then cringed when the smell of a hot dog truck, they walked past, hit her. "When do you wanna do it?" she asked.

"We should wait until the risks of a miscarriage drop," he told her. "So, as soon as the second trimester starts?"

"Okay," she nodded.

"We've been walking around for like 20 minutes now. You think you could keep food down?" he asked.

"I want a burger," she said and took a deep breath. "I doubt I could keep it down but I'm starving so keep that bag on standby."

"There's a Burger Joint a couple of blocks away," he told her.

"Bill's Bar & Burger?" she guessed. He confirmed with a nod.

"You haven't had a sip of Alcohol in like 5 years and I can't drink. Awesome choice."

"We're going there for the burgers," he shrugged.

"I know I don't say this enough, but I'm really proud of you," she said.

Despite the fact that he had a drinking problem for a few months, he decided not to risk it and gave up drinking for good.

"I know," he nodded then looked both sides of the street before he slipped his arm under hers and crossed to the other side. "You're more of a shower than a teller, Bec," he heavily sighed.

"I'm gonna take that as a compliment even if it didn't sound like one."

"I'm sorry. It's just that," he paused, "today has been a lot." He rubbed the back of his neck.

"I'm sorry," she apologized.

"Don't apologize. You can't control how you feel," he shrugged. "And, believe it or not, I'm really happy that you decided to keep our baby," he smiled at her. "I'm really curious to see how our kid would turn out. Like, which genes will be dominant?" he paused to think. "Bec, what do you want the baby to be?"

"You mean sex wise?" she glanced at him.

"Yeah. I know I want a girl."

"You already have a girl."

"So?" he shrugged.

"No, I thought you'd want a boy so that you'd have one of each."

"True I have a girl, but you're not her mom."

She nodded slowly, deciding not to say anything back.

"Oh, imagine if we had twins?" he asked.

"Does it run in your family?" she asked in horror.

"No," he answered.

"Thank god," she sighed a sigh of relief. "I don't think my vagina can take pushing two babies out of it in one day."

"Think of how awesome it would be to dress them up?"

"Think of college tuition."

"They'll be smart kids and get free rides."

She audibly laughed at what he said. "You're ridiculous," she shook her head while opened the door when they reached the bar/restaurant.


	4. Chapter 3

"Hey, doc," Beca started to say after her OB/GYN wiped the gel from her stomach. "I had a pelvic injury 10 weeks ago, would it cause a problem?" she asked while pulling her shirt down.

"What kind of injury?" he asked.

"I fractured the iliac bone," she informed him.

"Bec was on the ladder changing the bulb and my dog wanted to play and wouldn't take no for an answer," Jesse grimaced filling the doctor in with the details. "Only if you could have waited until I did it," he sighed, stuffing his hand in his pocket when Beca let go of it.

"I asked you to change the light bulb in the guest room," she held up four fingers, "four times, Jesse, and you didn't do it," she glared at Jesse.

"I said I'd do it. Besides, it's the guest room, not like we have guests sleeping over all the time," he shrugged.

"That's not the point!" she exclaimed, forgetting they were not alone for a second. "Sorry," she apologized to the doctor.

"It's okay," he smiled at her. "You two actually remind me of me and my wife," he added looking between them. He cleared his throat, seeing that they both avoided eye contact at his words.

"10 weeks isn't enough for a pelvic fracture to completely heal but by the time the baby gets big enough to actually hurt you it would be healed. However, I would check with your doctor just to be sure."

"My lower back hurt a lot," Beca told as she got up. "Is it normal?" she asked.

"Is the ache similar to the pain you experienced because of your fracture?" he asked.

"No," she shook her head.

"And there's no swelling or bruising," Jesse told him.

"May I?" the doctor asked.

"Yeah, sure," Beca nodded, turning on her heels and lifting her shirt so that he could examine it.

"Does it hurt around this area?" he poked two spots.

"Nope."

"It's hormonal," he assured her. "These vitamins and painkillers will ease things up for you." He put his pen in his pocket and gave Beca the prescription he wrote for her.

* * *

"What are you looking at?" Jesse asked, glancing at Beca when they stopped at a red light.

"This dot that has been trying to kill me," she held the ultrasound up.

"We'll get the meds, you'll feel better soon—shit," he hit the brakes.

"What the fuck, Jesse!" she exclaimed.

"I almost drove over a cat! God, I'm sorry!" He resumed driving.

"Not again," she groaned, placing a hand over her stomach.

"Do you want me to pull over?" he asked, feeling guilty when she started dry heaving. She shook her head but he pulled over anyway and pulled the prescription then used the GPS to look up a close-by pharmacy. "Okay, there's a drugstore, a block from here. I'm gonna go get you the drugs and be back, okay?" he softly told her.

"Okay," Beca nodded. He reached for the door and unlocked then frowned watching her exhale loudly then throw her head back and close her eyes.

"I'm sorry," he apologized, leaning over to place a kiss against her temple.

"It's not your fault," she swallowed, reaching for his hand and squeezing it. "Well, it's kinda your fault," she shrugged. "But, it's okay," she smiled weakly.

"Hang in there," he looked down at her hand and stepped out of the car once she pulled away.

* * *

Jesse had just pulled the drugstore's door closed after he got the drugs for Beca when he heard a woman exclaim a series of profanities. Out of curiously, he asked, "Is everything okay?"

The woman, who was going through her bag, lowered her sunglasses and grimaced at the strong light. "Nope," she sighed, pushing her glasses up. "I think I left my credit card at… home," she said.

"Okay," he nodded, seeing right through the lie.

Even though he couldn't see where she was looking he had a feeling she was eyeing the bag he had.

"Whatcha got there?" she asked him.

"I just bought some chimichangas," he pointed at the drugstore.

"Ha-ha," she sarcastically laughed. "Seriously, though?"

"Some painkillers and vitamins," he told the hungover stranger and watched her nod then take off one of the bracelets she was wearing. "I got his one for like 3 dollars, I think," she paused. "Tread it for a couple of pills?" She extended her hand.

"Um." He eyed the bracelet. "These aren't for me, I'm just—"

"—Look, I just need 2 pills to make it through a stupid meeting," she shrugged.

"An AA meeting?" he guessed.

"How did you know?" she frowned.

She looked like she partied until the sun came up and the smell of tequila was radiating from her. It wasn't hard to guess. And—"—you're holding a sobriety coin," he nodded at the coin she was playing with between her fingers.

Jesse looked at his watch, thinking about Beca, and then glanced up at the stranger. He wanted to help her and also wanted to get back to Beca as soon as possible.

"I just remembered that I need Aspirin; wait here," he told her then walked back inside the drugstore.

He was in and out of the store in less than a minute. She took the aspirin bottle and grabbed a couple of pills. "Thank you," she thanked him after swallowing. "You're a life savior," she patted his shoulder after handing him the bottle back and was about to turn on her heels.

"Hey, do you have money for the subway?" he asked her.

"I live down the street." She clicked her tongue right after she blurred out where she lived. "Forget I told you where I live. Bye." She walked away.

He shook his head looking at the apartment complex down the street before he started pacing to Beca's car.

* * *

"Here you go," Jesse said once he got inside the car.

Beca forced herself into a sitting position and sniffed taking the bag from him.

"Are you crying?" he asked, watching her wipe her cheek with the back of her back. "Hey, what's wrong?"

"It's nothing," she sniffed again. "Fucking hormones!"

"It can't be nothing," he frowned as he watched her grab one of the vitamins containers and read the label, "It made you cry."

"I was just thinking," she started to say while opening the container and pulling a pill. "What if I suck at being a parent?" she asked. "I mean, at least if I fuck up I know you're going to do damage control," she gestured at him. "But, I still want to do a good job," she said in a cracking voice.

He reached for her chin, tilting her head. "You are going to be an amazing mother."

"Yeah, right," she scoffed.

"You always tell me how creepy it is that I know so well." He wiped her cheek. "Well, I know that when you decide to do something, you do the hell out of it," he softly told her. "I bet that if you wanted to go on a roller-coaster even though you're below the height restriction you'll find a way to do it," he smiled when she punched his shoulder weakly.

"You just had your first ultrasound!" he beamed at her, letting go of her chin. "Next time we'll see a fetus," he said, wearing his seatbelt. "And next spring our baby will be with us!" he started the car. "This has to be more exciting than winning a Grammy, right?"

"Yeah," she nodded wiping her cheeks.

"I can't hear you."

"Yeah!" she said loudly while rolling her eyes at him. He grinned at her when she smiled then took her vitamins.

Jesse waited until she fastened her seatbelt before he drove off.

"Oh, I almost forgot," Beca said as he drove. "Em and Benji set a date," she told him as she pulled her phone. "It's October the 20th," she informed him. He nodded.

"While you were at the drug store, I found this website online that calculates pregnancy related dates," she said as she unlocked her phone. "So, like Dr. Davidson said I'm 5 weeks pregnant," she paused. "First trimester ends five days before the wedding."

"Wanna tell everyone at the wedding?" he asked.

"That's what I wanted to talk you about," she locked her phone. "I don't want to tell them. There will be a lot of people and I really don't want anyone to come up to me to feel my nonexistent bump."

"I could get you a 'Do Not Touch' t-shirt," he suggested, keeping a straight face.

"A dress would be more convenient since it's a wedding," she said back.

"I'll start working on getting that done," he nodded.

"I doubt Em would appreciate it if one of her bridesmaids wore a dress she didn't approve of, though."

"Keeping it a secret it is then," he glanced at her. "Um, you think we could go down to my parent's place and tell them?" he asked once they stopped at a red light. "We could go see your parents first," he added, seeing that his question made her anxious.

"No, it's fine," she swallowed. "We'll tell your parents while we're in L.A."

"You sure?"

"Yeah, it's just that I just thought of awkward it would be once we tell them that we're on a break." She blew a breath.

"We don't have to tell them," he shrugged.

"You wanna lie?" she asked in surprise.

"Not lie, of course not," he removed his hands from the steering wheel, seeing that they were stuck in a traffic jam. "We just don't tell them unless they ask."

"What if they bring up marriage? I know your parents. They care about these things."

"They won't say it to your face. I'll be the one catching the heat," he assured her.

"I can't let you do that," she shook her head.

"It's really okay, Becs."

"What if we tell them we're planning on getting married after the baby is born 'cause I can't exactly plan a wedding now?" she suggested after a beat.

"You really wanna go there, Bec?" he arched an eyebrow.

"Yeah," she casually said.

"Beca, you do realize that if we lie to my parents we'll have to lie to your parents and friends as well?"

She shrugged. "It's worth you not getting shit from your family because of me. We can later say that stuff didn't work out between us if they don't."

"And if they do?" he sat up. "Bec, would you marry me if you we got back together after this break?" he asked while trying not to show much emotion so that he wouldn't sound like he's pressuring her into agreeing.

"Can I get back to you on that later?" she grimaced.

"Sure," he sighed, resting his hands on the steering wheel.

"I'm jacked up on hormones and I don't want to make a decision like that until I'm back to my normal self."

"I understand," Jesse nodded. "We'll just pretend until then," he said while drumming his fingers on the wheel. "Wanna go pick a ring later?" he asked as he eyed her.

"No need for that." She took off one of the rings she was wearing that was her grandmother's ring.

"Wanna do the honor," she sarcastically said as she held the ring. He glanced at the road and saw then they were still stuck then turned to her and took it from her.

"Rebeca Mitchell, would you do me the honor of pretending to be my fiancé so that my parents don't skin me alive for not having a shotgun wedding?"

"Yes," she answered, resisting the urge to roll her eyes at his over-dramatic tone.

Jesse rolled down the window and shouted on top of his lungs, "SHE SAID YES!"

"Dude!" she tried to glare at him but couldn't.

He whooped then sat back and rolled the window up.

"You're such a weirdo," she shook her head and rested her head against the window.

* * *

 ** _Six weeks later._**

"Jess," Beca called as she shook Jesse awake. He groaned in respond. "Jesse, get up my parents are here." She slapped his shoulder.

"What?!" he said in confusion and sat up.

"They both saw that fucking picture you uploaded on Instagram," she whisper-yelled.

"What picture?" he asked, still dazed.

"The picture you uploaded of us at the diner after we went to my OB/GYN last week."

"What?" He ran his hand over his face.

"Jesus Christ, Jesse," she hissed. "You put a picture of us online and didn't, fucking, crop out the ultrasound that was on the table. Mom saw it, showed it to dad and now they're here!"

"How was I supposed to know that your mom is real life Hawkeye?" he asked as he rubbed his eyes.

"She's a fucking lawyer; of course, she notices shit!"

"Okay, calm down, Bec," he said as he got off of the bed. "It's fine we were going to tell them soon anyway." He stretched his arms then grabbed his phone from the nightstand. "11:34, why did you let me sleep until now?" he asked in surprise.

"You've had a busy week and deserved to have some sleep," she shrugged. "Look alive; I can't have my parents thinking you spent the night in the guest room when we're supposed to tell them we're engaged next week."

"Just tell them it's the snoring," he said as he rubbed his eyes, "or my smell triggers your morning sickness or something."

He started to make his way out of the guest room while scratching his stubble.

His relationship with Beca's father, Dr. Benjamin Mitchell, was much casual than the one with her mother, Ms. Nicole Wood. She intimidated him _a lot_.

Jesse glanced at Beca, who was walking behind him clearly anxious, and reached for her hand.

"It's okay," he told her before getting out of the room. She nodded. He leaned in and placed a kiss on her temple.

They talked about how his parents would react but didn't really talk about her parents. He knew they wouldn't be hard on her but she had been a hormonal mess, that he got used to, and was really anxious about telling her parents that she got knocked up.

"Beca, you didn't have to wake Jesse up," Dr. Mitchell said, noting how Jesse yawned before he could say anything.

"I overslept," Jesse waved it off then extended his hand, which Dr. Mitchell took and shook while patting him on the back. "How have you been, son?" he asked.

"I've been really great," Jesse told the older man. "How's Mrs. Mitchell?"

"She's well and says to say hello to the both of you," he looked at his daughter who was biting her fingernails and Jesse who had a lazy smile on his face.

"Ma'am." he turned to Beca's mother and tried to keep the smile on his face when he saw that she was not happy. He swallowed then extended his hand. "It's always a pleasure," he said as they shook hands.

"Likewise," she said.

"Hey, I'm gonna make some tea, do you wanna to come with me?" Beca turned to her father.

"Sure," he nodded.

"Did you and mom eat yet?" she asked him.

"You just rest, Beca, we're not here to eat," he told her as he watched her fill a teapot with water.

She exhaled placing the teapot on the stove then leaned against the counter.

Dr. Mitchell eyed Beca who was watching Jesse and her mother talk while she bit her nails.

"You gonna have to stop doing that," Dr. Mitchell said gesturing at her.

"It's gross, I know." She interlocked her fingers together to keep herself from biting her nails.

"And your kid could pick this habit from you," he said then blew a breath.

She tilted her head.

"Congratulations honey," he grinned at her and pulled her into his embrace.

"Thanks," she sniffed, blinking back tears. "Is mom planning on killing Jesse for knocking me up?" Beca quietly asked, pulling away.

"No, of course not. She is just looking out for you like always. But, I'm here to keep her from doing it if she tried." He winked at her.

"How long have you known?" she asked him.

"Four days. Your mother called me when she saw the picture. I convinced her not drive up here from Pittsburgh and wait until the weekend. She listened for a change."

"Is mom mad at me?"

"No, she's just worried," he paused. "She's looking at it from a legal perspective." He shrugged. "Like social benefits."

Beca scoffed.

"You know your mother; she doesn't trust anyone."

"This isn't about trust." She shook her head. "I can't believe this." She turned off the stove. "Does she really think I'm incapable of taking care of the baby on my own?"

"Hey, your mother loves you. There's no reason to get angry," he calmly told her.

"Yeah, I know," she nodded and walked past him.

Jesse glanced up to see a pretty pissed off Beca walk their way.

"Uh-oh," he muttered.

"Hey, mom can I have a word with you for a second?" Beca asked.

"Yeah," her mother nodded and walked with her daughter.

"Why the fuck do you think I can't take care of my fucking baby by myself?"

"Okay," Jesse quickly jumped between them. "That is not how you talk your mother, Bec," he quietly told her as he held her shoulders.

"Jesse, fuck off," she yelled at him. "I'm having a word with my mother!"

He saw tears building up in her eyes and knew for sure that she was overreacting because of her hormones.

He wrapped his arms around her, pulling her into a bear hug.

"We'll be back in a minute." Jesse tilted his head and pursed his lips together at the sympathetic smile Dr. Mitchell gave him while he walked Beca to their bedroom.

"Okay, what's gotten you all riled up?" he asked closing the door behind them and pulling his hands up in defeat.

"Mom is interrogating you just to make sure you're not going to leave me to raise our baby alone. She doesn't think I can do it on my own." She stepped away from him.

"She didn't think you'd make a career out of music. She didn't think you could stay in a relationship. She didn't think a lot of things about you. And you prove her wrong at every turn."

"Jesse, it's not the same," she sniffed.

He gave her an apologetic smile watching her take a seat on the bed. "One of the reasons why she wants to make sure I'll be around to raise our baby is how demanding your job is and how much you love what you do." He walked the bed and sat down next to her. "And, she also was telling me about some legal stuff would help us since we're expecting," he sighed.

Jesse threw his arm around her shoulder and pulled her to him when she started crying. She tried to say something but a hiccup stopped her.

"I know," he nodded, "fucking hormones."

"What legal stuff?" she asked wiping her cheeks.

"Some benefits we'd get if we get married."

She heavily sighed and sat up.

"We don't have to lie, Bec. I'll deal with my parents."

"Jesse, pretending to be engaged was my idea," she said tilting her head.

"Your mom won't let you live it down." He reached for her hand and squeezed it.

"She really can't judge me on relationships given her track record."

The reason Beca's parents got divorced was the fact that her mother got wrapped up in her career and put it before her family.

"See that's the thing about parents, Bec, they always try to keep their children from making the same mistakes as them." He felt her interlock their fingers so he gave her another squeeze. "She will take it personally when we break things off."

"Well, I'm not actually going to marry you, so, stop worrying about how my mother will react."

He watched her for a few seconds as she stared at the floor then leaned over to peek her cheek when she happened to be tilting her head so he ended up kissing her on the lips instead.

"I was going for your cheek," he awkwardly said. She looked between his eyes and lips then cupped his cheek with her free hand and kissed him.

They haven't kissed since the day she told him she wanted a break and knew she was pregnant.

She couldn't blame her hormones for kissing him because, despite the fact that she was 11 weeks pregnant which meant the increased hormones level had dropped and she was feeling well for a few days, she just wanted to kiss him. It was wrong and unfair to him because they were on a break.

Jesse didn't make it weird and kissed her back. He didn't really know what to make from her gentle kisses and didn't want her to pull away. When she did, he opened his eyes and watched her carefully.

"I…um….the thing is," she shook her head, blushing. "It's…"

"Hormones?" he guessed, giving her a way out of the embarrassment she was feeling, although he had a feeling that it wasn't the case.

"Yeah, those," she nodded and got up, running her fingers over her lips. "I need to pee." She started making her way to the bathroom.

"I'll go join your parents then," he said watching her close the door behind her.

"Tell them I'll be out in a minute." He heard her say.

"Okay," he said in a loud enough voice for her to hear and got up on his feet. He rubbed the back of his neck and blew a breath before he unlocked the door.

* * *

 **AN:** _Hormones, right?_ This story is writing itself up. I'm like making shit up as I go on.

Any thoughts on the stranger? I'll get back to her later but I'm curious; what role do you think she'll play in the story.

Feedback is greatly appreciated. Thank you for reading and reviewing. Peace out.


	5. Chapter 4

**AN:** For the stranger try thinking of Aubrey Plaza face. I was talking with my friend abt how much I related to her character in Mike and Dave need wedding dates and I ended up imagining her while writing.

Enjoy reading and maybe leave a good word if you liked it.

* * *

"Bec will be out in a minute." Jesse stuffed his hands in his pockets. "Everything has been heightened with her. She didn't really mean to be rude," he said to Beca's mother, who was sitting on the couch next to her ex-husband.

"Hormones, you know?" he added when they didn't say anything back.

"When is she due?" Dr. Mitchell asked.

Jesse was about to answer him when Beca unlocked the door.

"April 29th," she answered her father then tilted her head to look at her mother.

"I'm sorry I blew up in your face, mom," she apologized and lowered her head.

"We know you can't help it," her father said as he looked at his ex-wife, silently asking her to say something. Nicole sighed and stood up then made her way to her daughter.

"It's okay, Bec," she said and reached to rub Beca's arm. "And I do think you can raise your baby, but this clearly unplanned pregnancy could affect your relationship—"

"—our relationship is fine," Beca interrupted her.

"All right, then why was your boyfriend sleeping in the guest room?"

"Apparently, I snore a little too loudly," Jesse said pretending to be annoyed.

"Jesse you sound like a tractor getting jump-started over and over again!"

"I made an appointment to fix, didn't I?" he asked as he took her hand and pulled her to him.

Jesse had been busy with work while also making sure Beca is okay. He was too tired and his schedule didn't allow him to go see a doctor anytime sooner.

"What if it can't be fixed?" she sighed.

"Then you'll have to compromise and wear earplugs," he smiled looking down at her then looked up at her mother. "Ma'am, I understand you worrying about this situation as a whole," he paused. "Yes, this pregnancy wasn't planned, but Bec and I are adults and we're fully capable of raising a child."

"And we're planning on getting married after the baby is born," Beca blurt out. "So, don't worry, 'cause Jesse's stuck with me."

"Willingly," Jesse chimed in because Beca made it sound like she was forcing him to stay.

"Okay, this is enough," Dr. Mitchell got up. "You don't need to explain yourselves," he paused when Nicole tilted her head and glared at him.

"What? Jesse already has a daughter, he knows what awaits," he shrugged.

Jesse nodded affirming.

"And you heard them; they are adults. You should just be happy you're going to become a grandmother and let them be." He rubbed his hands together hoping his tone wouldn't angry his ex-wife. "It's bad enough that we showed up without calling first," he added.

"I get it, mom," Beca started to say watching her mother rub her forehead. "I'm the last person that should be allowed to repopulate, honestly I'm counting on maternal instinct and this guy," she gestured at Jesse, "to keep me from screwing up."

"What about post-partum depression?" her mother asked.

"Jesus Christ, Nicole!" Dr. Mitchell exclaimed. "Have a little faith in her."

"No, dad, it's fine," Beca shrugged. "I honestly got used to this," she paused feeling a lump in her throat and cursing her fucking hormones for pushing her to tears. "I get your worries," she sniffed. "But I won't neglected my family because of my career." She wanted to add, _'like you did,'_ but felt that it would be too harsh.

Jesse could feel her tensing up with every word because she was gripping his hand really hard. He tried to calm her down a bit by rubbing his thumb against her knuckles but when she started shaking so he decided to interrupt.

"Okay," he started to say as he removed his hand from hers and saw the venerability in Beca's eyes when she looked up. "I respect you, ma'am, and I'd very much appreciate if you respected us and stopped thinking so little of Beca." He threw his arm around her shoulder and pulled her to him.

"If you think you could do that then I'd like to invite you and Dr. Mitchell to stay for lunch," he paused because he didn't want to tell her to leave if she wouldn't do what he asked her to do.

"I'm sorry," she sighed.

Jesse tried not to let her see how surprised he was. Over the years, he had known her he had never heard her apologize to Beca.

"It's fine," Beca quietly said accepting her mother's apologize while wiping her cheeks. Jesse pushed her gently towards her mother and watched them hug.

"Congrats, Bec," Nicole said while patting her daughter's back.

"Thanks," Beca gave her a weak smile, pulling away.

"You too, Jesse," she looked up at him. "Congratulations." She reached over and gave him half a hug.

"Are you showing yet?" She curiously asked turning to Beca.

"I'm not sure." Beca pulled up her t-shirt. "Jesse says it looks different." She looked down at her belly. "The doctor said not to worry and that I'll blow up eventually."

"Beca, how bad has the morning sickness been?"

"Terrible for a few days then I got vitamins," she shared with her mother after a sigh.

Jesse looked at the mother and daughter then glanced at Dr. Mitchell who nodded at the kitchen once he met his gaze.

Jesse curtly nodded and started making his way there.

"Everything all right?" Jesse asked as he grabbed an apple from the counter.

"Yeah," Dr. Mitchell nodded. "I just wanted to talk to you privately if you don't mind."

"Yeah, sure," Jesse said then took a bite from the apple.

"Are you ready for marriage again?" Dr. Mitchell asked.

"Yes," Jesse swallowed.

"— 'Cause if you're not ready to jump back into marriage don't drag Beca into it." He paused. "I know that the fact that you're expecting makes marriage the most obvious thing to do but it actually isn't. Trust me."

It took Jesse second before it hit him. "Wait, was Beca the reason you and Nicole got married?" he asked.

"No," Dr. Mitchell answered after a beat. "Not Beca," he sighed. "We didn't have Beca until a couple of years into our marriage."

Jesse nodded slowly then bit into the apple.

"But you're not completely wrong; we did get married because of an unplanned pregnancy. We lost the baby—I loved Beca's mother but neither one of us was ready for marriage."

"Does Bec know?" Jesse asked."

"No," Dr. Mitchel shook his head. "It's always been a touchy subject for Nicole; it never came up." He paused. "It's not your story to tell."

"Yeah, yeah, I understand. I won't tell Becs," Jesse assured him.

The way Beca's mother reacted to her daughter's unplanned pregnancy made sense to him when Dr. Mitchell gave him some perspective. She simply didn't want her daughter to make the same mistake as her by getting married just for the baby.

"Won't tell me what?" Beca asked catching the last thing he said.

"That I interrogated him so that you don't get mad at me," her father answered for Jesse. "Now you do know. Don't get mad at me."

Beca looked behind him and at Jesse. He grinned meeting her gaze.

"Okay," she hesitantly said. "I came to ask you what you wanna have for lunch. If you would have told me that you're coming over I would have made a reservation at some restaurant or even cooked."

"Your mom only agreed to wait until the weekend when I promised that I wouldn't contact you."

"Hey, Becs, where's Sam?" Jesse changed the subject, noticing the absence of his 6-year-old daughter.

"Doug came and picked her up earlier." She sighed when frowned. "You know, he's taking her watch the Yankees," she reminded him.

"Yeah right," he nodded. He was a dodgers fan but Doug, his ex-wife's husband, loved the Yankees and Sam seemed to like them too. "When did he say he'll bring her back?"

"Depends on traffic, but they went to watch the morning training." She shrugged. "So, what do you, guys, wanna eat?" she asked as she walked to microwave to get the takeout menus that were on top of it.

"Bec, I'll take care of lunch. Don't worry about it," Jesse told watching her grab the takeout menus. "You craving anything?" he asked as he reached for the menus and took them from her.

"No, not particularly," she shrugged, "but I know I could eat a horse."

Jesse chuckled then tilted his head to look at Dr. Mitchell whose phone rang.

"Excuse me, I have to take this," Dr. Mitchell said, picking up and turning on his heels and walked out of the kitchen.

The moment he was out of sight, Beca reached for Jesse's chin and tilted his head.

"What was dad talking to you about?" she asked.

"You know the good old, 'are you sure you want to get married'," he shrugged. "Hey, he's just making sure it's not a shotgun wedding and that we actually want to get married," he added when she frowned.

"Why would he say that?" she huffed, leaning against the counter, and crossed her arms across her chest. "Why is it so hard to believe that we'd actually want to get married?" she asked him.

Jesse shrugged, taking a bite from the apple he had in hand. "Well your dad didn't seem to buy it when I told him that I want this," he told her as he chewed.

"Shocker," she sighed and grabbed an apple herself. "If my parents didn't buy, I doubt yours would," she mumbled as she took a bite and eyed him.

"Nah, they'll be thrilled," he assured her. "What?" he asked when she kept looking at him as she slowly chewed.

"You got some peel between your teeth," she said nodding at him.

He sucked his teeth.

"Nope still there," she said once he showed her his teeth then leaned in so that she could remove the peel that was stuck. He playfully tried to bite her finger and made her laugh in the process.

"Asshole." She lightly slapped him.

Jesse smiled at her then reached over and tucked a lock of her hair behind her ear.

"This is the first time I heard you laugh in months," he told her. "Like, really laugh," he added as she rubbed her thumb against a dimple . He took it as a hint and leaned in.

She swallowed then looked away from him when they touched noses. He sighed and placed a peck on her cheek then pulled away. "I'm sorry," he apologized for misreading what she did.

The thing is, he was insanely attracted to her. He had always been attracted to her but the thought of her carrying their baby made her hotter in his eyes. Living under the same roof was harder than he thought. He was trying his best not to make her uncomfortable with an awkward boner when she'd wear low-cuts. And, he thought he was doing a good job at being respectful and keeping everything under control despite the fact that he was craving her badly.

He put craving her and craving alcohol under the same category to keep his shit together. And just like alcohol, once you take a sip and break your sobriety you find yourself wanting more. She kissed him when he dragged her to the bedroom after she lashed out at her mother and it messed with his self-control.

"Um, I'll take care of lunch. You should go join your parents," he said while rubbing the back of his neck.

She looked up while biting her bottom lip and made it harder for him to not pin her against the wall and have it his way with her right then and there so he grabbed some of the menus and busied himself with them, glancing up to watch her walk out of the kitchen.

* * *

It was 8:32 pm when Jesse glanced at his watch. It had been roughly three hours since Beca's parents left. He was thankful they didn't sleep over because doubted he could make it through the night while Beca slept next to him.

His daughter was sitting between them on the couch as they watched a movie together. It was kind of a tradition to watch a movie every Saturday night.

The choice for the night was The Incredibles; his daughter seemed to be enjoying it and Beca had zoned out and was just staring at the screen.

Jesse was waiting for the movie to end so that he could go lock himself in his room; the only way he thought he could avoid being in the same place as her until he figured out how he could regain his control.

"So, what did you think of the movie, Sammy?" Jesse asked once the credit started to roll.

"It's nice," she shrugged.

He expected more than that because it was the freaking Incredibles: the best superhero movie ever! Okay, mmayb not the best but it was more than _nice_.

"Great," he smiled at his daughter. "C'mon let's get you ready for bed." He grabbed the remote control and hit pause.

"I mean, you go get ready for bed, all by yourself because you're a big girl," he corrected himself seeing that she crossed her arms and didn't seem to appreciate what he said. "Go brush your teeth," he placed a kiss on her cheek then looked at Beca who had curled up and fell asleep.

"Okay," she said and hopped off of the couch.

Jesse lightly tapped Beca's shoulder. She hummed in her sleep; he thought she was up. "Bec, you fell asleep on the couch," he softly told her. She didn't acknowledge him so he figured he'd go tuck his daughter to bed then take Beca to bed.

He chuckled when his daughter ran passed him and hopped on her bed once he reached her bedroom.

"I'm good, daddy," she told his as she patted her covers after getting under them.

"I know," he nodded and walked to her bed, tugging the bed covers under the mattress. "Want a bedtime story?" he asked. Sam rapidity nodded.

After reading Sam a bedtime story, Jesse made his way to the couch. He picked Beca up bridal style and held her close to him, creepily breathing her before he put her on the bed. He made sure she was comfortable then walked out of the room.

He had no intention to sleep so he decided to shower and maybe work a little.

* * *

Jesse was walking out of the shower when he noticed that lights were on in Beca's room. He made his way to it and knocked on the barely opened door.

"Beca, is everything okay in there?" he asked.

"Yeah, I'm good," she answered. "You can get in if you want."

He pushed the door open and peeked his head to see her wear her shoes.

"Got somewhere to be?" he wondered.

"I really want Kebab," she told him as she tied her shoelaces. "I was dreaming about it," she added.

"Why are you going out when you can order it?" he frowned, getting inside the room while drying his hair with a towel.

"It's a place I ate at a while back and we don't have their takeout menu," she explained looking up. She eyed him up and down then swallowed because the asshole looked fit and was wearing nothing but a towel around his waist. "And… I wanna go out," she said, tearing her eyes away from him.

"Wait, I'll come with you."

"And leave Sam all alone?" she arched an eyebrow, looking back at him. He opened his mouth to say something then stopped.

"It's fine. I can get it myself." She got up.

"Bec, I know you can, but—"

"—Jesse, I'm pregnant not paralyzed," she cut him off.

"Not that... It's just that it's late and cold out," he paused. He was being an overprotective little bitch and he couldn't help it; she's pregnant with his baby and if he could he wouldn't let her go anywhere without him around to punch any potential threat.

"It's not like I'm going to be walking around in dark alleys," she shrugged and wore her leather jacket. "Want me to get you anything?" she asked as she grabbed a credit card from her wallet and stuffed in her pocket along with her keys.

Jesse shook his head.

"Text or call me if you need anything," she said and grabbed her phone.

"Okay," he curtly answered and stepped out of the room to let her through.

* * *

 **40 minutes later.**

Jesse was looking at his phone he had been looking at it for a while. He was waiting until a reasonable amount of time passed before he texted her. He tapped on his messaging up.

 _Jesse 9:50 PM_

 _ **'Make sure the meat isn't undercooked, Becs.'**_

 _Jesse 9:51 PM_

 ** _'It can cause a food poising and hurt the baby.'_**

 _Beca 9:52 PM_

 _ **'I know. Don't worry.'**_

Jesse locked his phone and grabbed the music sheet he was supposed to be working on. He waited for exactly 24 minutes before texting her again after finding a reason to text her.

 _Jesse 10:16 PM_

 _ **'Bec, you think you could make a stop at a pharmacy and buy a hand sanitizer? There's a 24 hour one on 19th Street and 7th Avenue.'**_

He remembered the pharmacy he once bought her vitamins and painkillers from, it wasn't far from their apartment i.e it was perfect.

 _Beca 10:18 PM_

 _ **'Okay.'**_

 _Beca 10:19 PM_

 _ **'Anything else?'**_

 _Jesse 10:19 PM_

 _ **'Drive safe.'**_

Jesse put his phone aside begged himself to focus on work.

* * *

An hour later, Jesse started to worry. He began passing back and forth debating whether or not to text Beca.

She's a grown woman and could take care of herself and he had already texted her twice. He knew he would piss her off if he contacted her again and she turned out to be fine.

He ran to the coffee table when his phone rang and picked up. "Where are you!" he practically yelled over the phone. "You should have gotten home a while ago!"

 _"Jesse, calm down,"_ she answered in a low voice. _"I'm fine. Stop freaking freaking out."_

"Where are you?" he asked again.

 _"I'm at the hospital."_

"What?!" he shrieked.

 _"Jesus, Jesse, my eardrum can't handle this. Stop yelling!"_ she raised her voice a little.

"Sorry," he apologized and took a deep breath.

 _"I found some passed out chick near the pharmacy and I couldn't leave her. She had an alcohol poisoning. I'm sorry I couldn't call you sooner. I was busy."_

"Is she okay now?" he asked in a calmer voice.

 _"Yeah. I'm just gonna make sure she can pay or she has anyone that could come pick her up."_

"Look at you helping drunk strangers," he said in a lighter tone when he relaxed.

 _"Yeah, I never thought I'd ever do this. I guess, you can say you changed the selfish cynical asshole in me a little,"_ she told him thinking back on the way they met: He was helping a passed out drunk girl at the toilet at the nightclub she DJ'd at and she ended up giving him a ride.

"Just a little."

 _"Shut up,"_ she chuckled.

"Hey, Bec is the woman a Latina with a small gap between her teeth?"

 _"Yes,"_ she replied slowly. _"How did you guess?"_ she asked.

"I think I met her in front of the pharmacy the day you got your first ultrasound. She lives on the same street, um," he paused, trying really hard to remember where she told him she lived. "The apartment complex down the street, the gray building."

 _"Jess, I had my first ultrasound 6 weeks ago, how the hell do you still remember this?"_ she asked.

"I have a good memory," he shrugged. He really did have a good memory but it was more than that. He had actually thought about the hungover stranger who had broken her sobriety.

 _"Well, I'm gonna go see her now."_

"Okay, keep me updated, please. And be careful."

 _"I will."_

Jesse ran his fingers through his hair after she hung up. He felt better that he talked to her.

* * *

At the same time, Beca was making her way to the stranger's room. She knocked on the door.

"Hey," Beca awkwardly waved.

"Do I know you?" the woman asked as she slipped on her jeans.

"Nope," Beca shook her head.

"Oh you're the one that brought me in," she said in realization. "Thanks, I appreciate the fact that you didn't take a kidney or something," she casually added.

"Yeah, no problem," Beca chuckled in spite of herself at the laid-back attitude of the stranger. "I'm Beca, by the way."

"Christina," she introduced herself after she wore her sweater. "Can I interest you in a drink? Nothing fancy, though."

"You had an alcohol poisoning, you sure alcohol is what you should be drinking?" Beca frowned.

"The drink is for you as a thank you for what you did. Of course, I'm gonna lay back on alcohol for a while."

"Thanks but I can't drink," Beca clicked her tongue.

"For long have you been sober?" she asked as wore her combat boots.

"A couple of months now," Beca blew a breath.

"You're still green. Good luck!"

"Oh god, no, I don't have a drinking problem. I'm pregnant," Beca told her.

Christina grimaced, "my bad."

"It's okay," Beca shrugged.

"Okay then, is there another way I can thank you with?" Christina asked.

"Dude, you don't owe me anything. I just wanted to make sure you're good before I leave."

Christina arched her eyes in surprise.

"Though, I have a question," Beca said as she pulled her phone.

"Sure," she nodded.

"Did you happen to meet this guy in front of a pharmacy a while back?" Beca asked while holding her phone Christina's way, showing her a picture of Jesse.

"Yeah, it's Chimichanga guy," she said then looked at Beca. "Your boyfriend?" she guessed, grabbing her bag.

Beca shook her head. She didn't feel like explaining her situation to a total stranger.

"Okay." Christina wore her jacket. "Thanks again, you're good peeps." She patted Beca's shoulder and walked past her.

"Isn't anyone going to come pick you up?" Beca asked, following her.

"Nope," Christina said.

"You're on my way back home, I can give you a ride back," Beca told her.

"How— Chimichanga told you," she nodded to herself.

"Why are you calling him that?" Beca asked.

"He told me bought chimichangas from the drugstore when I asked him what he had in the bag."

"That sounds like Jesse," Beca nodded.

"Chimichanga has a name, nice." Christina started looking through her bag then pulled a credit card.

"So, do you want the ride or not?" Beca asked.

"Yeah," Christina nodded.


	6. Chapter 5

"Hey, Bec," Jesse started to say as he took a seat on a stool in the kitchen, "Do you think I'd be a decent sponsor?"

"A what?" she asked, removing an earbud from her ear.

"A sponsor," he grabbed a strawberry from the plate near Beca. "Do you think I'd do a good job sponsoring an addict?" He threw the strawberry in his mouth.

"First off, those are mine." She picked the plate up and put it on the other side of the kitchen island.

"Second, where did you get this idea of sponsoring from?" she asked, taking off the second earbud and shifting her attention Jesse.

"That drunk woman you picked up last night," he paused.

"Christina is the reason behind this?"

"Yeah, kind of" he nodded.

"Well, I think you'd do great helping people," she shrugged while she dipped a strawberry in a Nutella jar.

"I wanna help _her_."

" I doubt she wants help," Beca mumbled bringing the strawberry to her mouth.

"That's why I want to help her," he excitingly told her.

"Buddy, not everyone thinks your persistence is cute." She patted his knee.

"Aww, Becs, you think it's cute," he said while pinching her cheek.

"I never said that." She pushed his hand away.

"You totally do," he disagreed, resting his elbow on the kitchen island and his cheek on his palm.

"So, how are you planning on making Christina want your _help_ when you didn't even go through the 12 steps program yourself?" Beca asked, changing the subject.

"I didn't need any program because I had you… then I lost you…then learned the hard way that I can just rely on you to fix me."

"Wow, man, you should just write a book," she told him sarcastically to avoid any chance of him bringing up something from the past because it was history that she had learned to accept but knew he still felt guilty about some of the things he did.

"No, too early for my memoir, Bec," he said while drumming his fingers on the kitchen island.

"Who said anything about a memoir," she snorted dipping a couple of strawberries into the jar then throwing them into her mouth at the same time.

"I'm planning on writing an awesome memoir that will make its way into Hollywood when our kid or Sammy adapts it into a motion picture."

"You really embraced the whole dream big or go home concept, Jess." She hopped off of the stool while sucking her teeth.

"What, can't a man dream his child makes a movie about him?" he asked her.

"What makes you think that either one of your kids will turn out to be a filmmaker?"She opened the fridge and shook her head. "Jesse, I told you gazillion time not to put fucking bananas in the fridge. They go bad really fast when you keep them here," she said in annoyance while pulling them and a couple tomatoes out of the fridge.

"I forgot," he grimaced. "And to answer your question, I have a strong hunch."

"Well, you're not going to impose your hunch on my baby," she told him while pointed at him with a knife. "My parents wanted me to get a real job because DJ-ing is a hobby," she sighed, cutting the tomatoes in half. "And it sucked," she added as she cleaned them in the sink. "Worst part is that they didn't even bother to even ask me what I wanted to do; they just presumed it was DJ-ing." She shrugged. "I'm planning on supporting whatever the fuck our baby wants to do even if he or she wants to masturbate horses and cows for a living."

"Please, tell me you just made that up."

"Nope, that's an actual job." She put the knife aside and sprayed salt on the tomatoes.

"Ew." He made a face, reaching for the bananas and grabbed one. "I won't force my children into careers, Bec…" he trailed off watching her stuff tomatoes into her mouth then grab a banana herself. She was still chewing the tomatoes when she sat down next to him and dipped a strawberry into the Nutella jar.

"Beca, slow down," he said in awe.

"Shut up," she mumbled as she ate.

"No, really, slow down," he placed a hand on her shoulder and turned her around. "You're not even chewing." He watched her swallow.

"You know how hard you're making it for your stomach?" he asked. "You'll end up with a stomachache if you keep going like this," he told her as he squeezed her shoulder and watched her throw the strawberry into her mouth.

"I didn't really think of that," she mumbled, actually chewing.

"Just try to chew for at least 5 times," he sighed when she began peeling the banana.

"Okay," she nodded and dipped the banana in Nutella.

He eyed her as she brought it to her mouth and moaned at the taste while closing her eyes.

"Shit," he muttered when her action gave him a boner. He ran his hand over his face and got up as he tried to get rid of his erection.

"You should really try eating bananas with Nutella, Jess, it is really good," she said as she chewed. "Jesse?" she frowned seeing that he gave her his back.

"Yeah, bananas and Nutella," he tilted his head. "I'll try it," he said as he began to walk away, knowing that it wasn't going to go down, because of the thoughts that were filling his head, and planning to end it the old fashioned way.

"Are you okay?" she asked watching him uncomfortably walk then hopping off of the stool to follow him.

"Mhm," he nodded.

Beca grabbed his arm to stop him then turned him around. She arched an eyebrow seeing that he had placed a hand over his hard-on to keep her from actually seeing him hard because he had some dignity.

Beca let go of his arm looking up to meet his gaze.

"I'm sorry," he apologized for letting her see him erect then looked away from her when she bit her bottom lip.

"Did I cause this?" she asked in a low voice.

He rubbed the back of his neck while nodding. "Excuse me," he mumbled, turning on his heels, and didn't expect her to pull him back then press her lips against his.

Jesse didn't waste time and picked her up, kissing her hard then pinned her against a wall and pressed his hard-on against her thigh, loving the way it made her moan into the heated kiss they were sharing. He had been longing for her for so long; he knew making out against the wall wouldn't end well for him once she pulled away and told him it's all hormonal yet he couldn't bring himself to pull away. And, then she ran out of breath and broke the kiss, leaving him breathless.

She looked away from his gaze and blew a breath and before she knew it, she was crying.

"Put me down," she sniffed.

Jesse gently put her on the floor then stepped back, wincing at the pain his super erected penis caused.

"Was I too rough?" he apologetically asked. "Oh my god did I hurt you?! Is the baby okay?" he added, starting to panic.

"I'm fine—Look at what I'm doing to you," she said while gesturing at him and wiping her cheeks.

Jesse sighed a sigh of relief. "You mean turning me on?" he paused and watched nod. "You didn't mean to do anything, it's all in my head," he shrugged, hoping their conversation would end soon because he had a situation to deal with.

"I just kissed you, Jesse."

"Bec, you can't control your hormones." He scratched his head. "It's fine."

"No, it's not. I feel like I'm playing you and it's not fair." She paused to suck in a deep breath.

"Bec, I'm a grown ass man. You don't have to treat me like I'm a fragile kid. I understand that you're attracted to me because of your hormones and you have no reason to feel guilty. It's very normal." He shrugged. "You're one week away from the second trimester and you can't ignore what your body wants." He reached for her chin and tilted her head to make her face him.

He was almost sure she wanted him just as bad—maybe not for the same reasons— the way she was just kissing him told that much. After all, he had known her for more than 5 years all together and could tell between the kisses that went nowhere beyond a makeout session and those that initiated sex. His money was on the latter but it could be just him since he was seriously turned on.

He was so hot for her he decided it would be okay to trust his hunch and bring up sex. "It doesn't have to mean anything," he swallowed because it would totally mean a lot to him but he knew she wouldn't give into what she wanted and also knew that she had to hear him say that.

Jesse ran a hand over his face when she looked up at the ceiling to avoid his gaze and figured he'd just leave her alone and go lock himself in the bathroom.

"Wait," she called when he turned on his heels.

"Bec, what do you want?" he asked while rubbing his forehead.

"I want you," she swallowed, looking away from him.

He arched an eyebrow and dropped his hand because he didn't expect her to actually say it. He took a couple of steps to close the distance between them then cupped her face.

"You sure about it?" he asked. She nodded leaning up and kissed him.

Jesse picked her up, kissing her back and started making his way to her bedroom. He kicked the door open and gently laid her down on the bed. He was basically a horndog at that point but it wasn't about him so he forced himself to slow down.

Jesse broke the kiss and got up.

"Jesse, I know I'm pregnant and all but I swear to god if you treat me as if I were made out of glass I…" she trailed off watching him take off his t-shirt and pants and climbed on top of her.

"You?" he nodded at her to keep talking while feeling her hands on his chest.

"Nevermind," she said as she looked into his gaze. He chuckled making her roll her eyes.

He leaned in and kissed her gently, despite how hard it was not just to rip her clothes off and screw her brains out, then made his way to her neck while unbuttoning her shirt. Jesse kissed his way down to her stomach then stopped.

"Hey, little one, daddy is about to make mommy feel so good so why don't you take a nap or something," he shrugged leaning in to place a kiss on her belly.

"How long have you been waiting to say that?" She rested her weight on her elbows.

He made his way up and pressed his lips against hers, deciding not to answer her and hoping his kiss would distract her enough to forget that he didn't give an answer. Because he actually dreamed about it.

Jesse intended to kiss her gently but she took control of the kiss and wrapped her arms around his neck to bring him closer to her as they kissed deeply.

* * *

For once Jesse was snoring and Beca didn't feel like strangling him with a pillow. She kind of missed hearing him snore. It was weird because it usually pissed her off.

He looked peaceful in his sleep. She had been watching him as he slept for quite some time and wasn't feeling like a creep.

They had quite the session that put him to sleep and made her feel way better than she expected.

She had heard that pregnancy sex is to die for but it was overwhelmingly great. She knew that the lack of sex in her life played a big role; She couldn't even remember the last time she had sex because she was high on painkillers but the baby growing inside of her was a solid proof that it actually happened.

Beca rubbed her hand against her belly then sighed and looked up at her…what?—They were on a break and they just had mind-boggling sex—her lover? _Ew._ He was definitely not her _lover._

She found herself wondering if they were going to do it again.

She knew him well enough to know that it wasn't just sex for him but she got caught up in the heat of the moment and was very horny. Seeing him hard for her made her want him badly. Knowing she still had an effect on him turned her on.

Beca reached over, ran her hand over his chest, and played with his chest hair before she leaned in and placed a kiss on it then rested her head against it. She sighed closing her eyes and listening to his heart that was oddly relaxing.

* * *

Jesse woke up to a smell he truly missed waking up to. He inhaled deeply before opening his eyes. He smiled while rubbing his eyes; he was stupid happy that Beca was curled up in his arms with her palm and head against his chest.

He glanced at the time and saw that it was 5:12 am. It was still early. He rubbed Beca's arm when she sighed in her sleep then placed a kiss on top of her head.

She snuggled up to him and he seriously considered staying in bed the whole day doing nothing while she slept then dismissed it because he told her that sex wouldn't have to mean anything and he had to act like it.

Jesse decided it would be best if she woke up alone in bed to avoid any awkwardness so he carefully removed his arm from around here and sat up. He watched her hold the covers close to her and curl up then got up, picking his clothes from the floor before he headed out of the room.

He showered and got ready for the day then started on breakfast. She had finally started to regain her appetite and he was going to make sure she ate well and gained the right amount of weight.

* * *

Jesse was whistling Pink Floyd's high hopes and making waffles when Beca walked into the kitchen. He stopped whistling the song as he eyed her; she was wearing a bathrobe and her hair, still wet from the shower, was over her shoulders.

She walked straight to the fridge and pulled the milk jug, drinking directly from it.

"Good morning," he said when she wiped her mouth with the back of her hand.

"Morning." She met his gaze for half a second then she kicked the fridge close.

"Um, where did you put the bananas?" she asked placing the milk jug on the kitchen island.

"I put 'em near the cereal box," he told her as he reached to open the shelf. "How many do you want?"

"Just one," she replied, plugging the blender.

"Here," he extended his hand.

"Thanks," she thanked him as she accepted it from him.

"Want some strawberries with that?" he asked, noting that she was going to make a smoothie.

"Yeah," she shrugged. He pulled the plateful of strawberries she left on the kitchen island the night before washed them then handed her the plate.

"Listen, we're cool, right?" she uneasily asked, turning on her heels to look at him.

"Um, yeah," he nodded while grabbing the whipped cream can from the fridge.

"I mean last night was so good but I still don't know what I want from dating you," she said as she watched him spray whipped cream into his mouth.

"I'm aware of that," he told her after swallowing. "Your hormones are heightening your sex drive and I just helped you out," he shrugged. "Bec, the reason I'm still living with you is to make sure you are taken care of while you're carrying _my_ baby. Last night was me keeping my word and I'm intending to keep my word until you don't need me not just sexually… Want whipped cream on your waffles?"

She nodded and watched him spray the whipped cream on the waffles. "Thanks," she took the plate from him, put it on the kitchen island and went back to making her smoothie.

"Why Christina?" Beca said, resuming a conversation they were having the night before, as she sat down after pouring the smoothie into a glass.

"Huh?" He turned around after pouring himself a cup of coffee.

"Why do you want to help Christina?" she asked, sitting down on a stool.

"Here's the thing," he started to say then sat down next to her. "I wanna try my hands at writing a screenplay that is about addition and I've been trying to find something to draw from apart from my own experience."

"So you're planning on using her story?" She brought a waffle to her mouth and took a huge bite.

"No," he shook his head. "I wanna know what's like to help someone get better. It's more about the emotional ride, you know?"

"Yeah, I think I do," she nodded. "Well, good luck getting her to want help," she told him as she brought the smoothie to her mouth.

"Thanks," he smiled at her.

"You planning on writing and directing it?" she asked, licking her lips.

"And scoring it, too," he said.

"I assume you're not planning on informing of your project."

"You assumed right," he affirmed. "I actually want to help it's not just about my project," Jesse explained. "I've been thinking about her ever since I met her," he informed her. "I kind of had this idea for a while in the back of my head and after meeting her I've been having all these ideas."

"She's pretty hot," Beca said less casually than she intended.

"Yeah," he shrugged, pretending he didn't notice the uneasiness in her tone.

"Want me to make more waffles?" he asked seeing that she finished her plate.

"No, thanks," she declined. "I'm gonna go throw some clothes on," she added getting up.

"I'll load the dishwashing machine," he told her when she picked the glass she drank her smoothie in up.

"Okay," she said putting it back on the kitchen island.

"Bec, what is it?" he asked picking up on the fact that she wanted to ask him something but was anxious about it; biting her nails and looking at everything but him gave it away.

"If we keep having sex what would it make us?" she asked.

"What do you mean?" he frowned.

"You said you'd sleep with me to help, okay, but wouldn't that make us like fuck buddies? Screwing without strings attached since we're not dating?"

"When you put it that way, yeah," he nodded.

"I can't do the whole no strings attached thing," she shook her head. "I can't make you do it," she ran her fingers through her hair.

"Beca, I really don't mind."

"I do," she paused. "It will confuse the hell out of me. I'm trying to figure out what I want from you and sex won't let me think straight."

"Are you scared I'd pressure you into coming back to me?" he asked in confusion.

"No, I'm scared it would be too late and you wouldn't want me back by the time I make up my mind. _There,_ I've said it," she threw her hands up.

Jesse ran his hand over his face. What she said was pretty selfish and he had to remind himself that she's pregnant and wouldn't take fighting well.

"Here's the deal. I'm fine with this break and won't actually break up with you until our baby is like a year old. That will give you around half a year without me living with you. There will be no sex to confuse you. I think that'll be enough for you figure your shit out."

He was compromising a lot and he really hoped she would take what he was offering.

Jesse sighed seeing that tears started to build up in her eyes and got up then pulled her into a hug. "Please don't cry over this," he said to her ear.

"I can't help it," she mumbled. "You're fucking awesome and I'm being a total selfish bitch to you," she shrugged.

"You're honest." He tightened his hold. "And, honest is dope," he added when she looked up.

"I promise that I'll wait for you," he loosed his hold and wiped her cheeks.

He was pretty sure she cried the most in the last two months than she ever did in her life.

"Jesse, you can't control how you feel," she sighed, resting her head on his shoulder.

"I'm not worried," he shrugged. "We've spent a lot of time apart before and it didn't change how I feel about you." He began rubbing her back then stopped when she looked up.

"You really would wait?" she asked.

He nodded rapidity. He didn't have a choice, really. He was very much in love with her.

"You think we could…" she trailed off, playing with the collar of his t-shirt.

"Put you in a good mood?" he guessed and chuckled when she buried her face in his chest.

"Beca, just ask." He rested his chin on top of her head. "I can't do anything without your permission."

"It's weird to ask for _you-know-what_."

"Here's a suggestion," he paused. "Whenever you want ' _you-know-what'_ , grab my shirt," he said with a shrug. "How does that sound?" he asked and grinned when he felt her clench his t-shirt.

Jesse pulled his head back and watched her eye him with a lot of lust in her eyes.

She ran her hands over his chest then leaned up, wrapping her arms around his neck, and kissed him.

* * *

 _ **AN:**_ Do you think he'll wait around?

Leave your thoughts in a review below that would be appreciate it. And, as always, thank you for passing by, people.


	7. Chapter 6

**AN:** Hello people. I'm pretty exhausted because of school and such I couldn't find time to sit and write because in my free time I'd be napping. Anyhow, I hope you enjoy this. Sorry if it feels boring. Thanks for dropping by and/or reviewing.

* * *

Jesse was pacing back and forth in the living area. It was 2:14 am and Beca wasn't home yet. She was attending an indie music festival to scout talent and he had regretted not going with her. (Not that he really could go with her.) An infection in his adenoids was the reason he snored. He had them surgically removed that day. Beca took time off work drive him to the hospital then took him home before she headed to the festival.

He was worried sick because he knew music festivals. They were not made for pregnant women but when he tried to talk sense into Beca she told him that it's a part of her job and that she knew what's best for her.

He knew she'd be careful and wouldn't do anything that would hurt the baby but it wasn't enough to stop him from worrying .

Jesse looked up at the door when he heard Beca unlock it. He eyed her from head to toe then sighed a sigh of relief.

"You didn't have to wait up," she said and started making her way to her bedroom.

"I know." He blocked her way.

She took a step back.

"What's that?" He frowned spotting what looked like a bruise on her arm.

He arched an eyebrow when she ignored him and walked straight to her bedroom.

He followed her.

"Jesse, go to bed," she said, glancing over her shoulder.

"Did anyone hurt you?" he asked, trying to keep his calm.

"No," she answered. "I was just at the wrong time and wrong place," she said as she shrugged.

"Explain," he stood in the bedroom doorway.

"Two guys got into a fight and one of them punched the other who fell on some equipment I was standing next to the thing," she explained.

"Jesse, I'm fine," she sighed when he walked up to her and held her arm to get a better look at it. "It barely hit me."

"You shouldn't have been out there in the first place," he said and looked up. She rolled her eyes at what he said and pulled her arm away from his hold.

"Beca, don't do that."

"Don't do what?" she asked.

"Don't act like it's nothing because it's not nothing. You're pregnant!"

"No shit, I'm pregnant!" She glared at him. "I know what I'm doing. The baby is mine too, you know?"

He rubbed his chin then put his hands up.

"Fine. You're right and I'm sorry." He turned on his heels and started making his way out of the room.

"This right here is the kind of behavior that made me doubt us," she paused when he stopped at the doorway and looked back at her. "You just don't try anymore," she shrugged. "You avoid having to talk about anything that would lead to any kind of argument."

"You broke up with me because I avoid fighting with you?" he asked in confusion. She held his gaze for a few seconds then sighed.

"Never mind." She took off her jacket and tossed it on the bed.

Jesse was about to insist on getting an explanation but it was really late and she looked tired and wasn't up for a fight even if she wanted it.

"Want something to eat?" he asked softly.

"I stopped at a diner before heading home," she told him then started to go through her closet.

"So, a glass of milk then?" he suggested while watching her pull a t-shirt that he was pretty sure was his.

"I'll be right back," he told her when he saw that she paused to think about it.

When he got back, Beca was in the en-suite bathroom removing her makeup.

He placed the glass on the nightstand and started making his way out of the room.

"Hey, wait."

"What is it?" he asked.

"Some guy recognized me and told others and I ended up getting a shit load of demos and free tickets." She told him as she grabbed her messenger bag. "I can't see them all even if I wanted." She shrugged. "Here," she handed him over a dozen of tickets to shows.

"Thanks," he said accepting the tickets and going through them then glancing up.

"Any good enough artists?" he asked.

"Yeah," she nodded picking up the glass of milk then chugging it down. "Does it hurt?" she asked while looking at his nose.

"The pain is mild but I can feel something missing," he shrugged.

"The doctor said to apply ice on it, did you do it?" she asked.

He shook his head. "I forgot."

"Do I have to stick notes all over the apartment for you to remember?" she wondered slightly annoyed with him because she texted him to remind him and he said he would.

"It's not painful, Bec, I can tolerate it," he assured her.

"Yeah, but when you do what the doctor told you _to do_ your recovery would be quicker," she told him and she climbed on the bed.

"I don't care as long as it means I won't keep you from sleeping when I spend the night here." Jesse grabbed the glass from the nightstand.

"You should spend the night here," she said. "You heard the doctor; this typa surgery isn't usually performed in adults: it could cause some complications," she paused. "I'll know if something isn't right," she shrugged.

"Okay," he nodded slowly. "I'll just go wash this and turn off the lights…" he blew a breath.

"—Yeah, okay," she said as he spoke then watched him walk out of the room.

Beca curled up and held the covers close to her tightly. Jesse would only sleep in the same as her when he'd be too tired to go to his room (read: the guest room) after sleeping together.

"You think we could tell Sam about the baby?" Jesse asked as he turned the lights off once he walked back into the bedroom.

He climbed on the bed. "You're a couple of days into the second trimester."

"Jesse we're going to L.A. this weekend, she could tell someone and you know I don't want to be in the spotlight at the wedding," Beca tilted her head to look at him.

They were taking Sam with them to the wedding.

"We'll just use the 'big girl' card," he shrugged. "Besides, I got a plan," he rested his weight on his elbow and watched Beca turned on her side in a way she'd face him.

"Sammy tells my parents she's gonna be a big sister next spring then I tell them we're planning on getting married after he or she is born because we're busy with work and preparing a wedding takes a lot of time and effort," he explained. "This way they won't get in depth with their interrogation since Sammy is with us and we won't have to go see them while we're in L.A."

"Jesse, you haven't seen your family in mouths," she reminded him.

"No, I meant the two of us by we. I'll go see them, you don't have to come," he elaborated.

"And let you catch the heat all by yourself?" she asked. "We're going to see them together," she firmly told him when he shrugged.

"Beca," he started to say softly.

"Don't Beca me," she interrupted. "The whole point of pretending to be engaged is so that they don't give you shit." She sat up.

Jesse had been so selfless and kind ever since they found out they were having a baby it was starting to annoy her. He was treating her in a way that made her feel weak. She was _so_ not weak.

"You really craving a fight aren't you?" he said in mock-shock after glancing at the time to find that it was 2:50 am. "We haven't cuddled in months: that must be it!" he said in realization making her roll her eyes.

"You need this. Trust me, I know you better than you think," he told her, noting the eye roll. "C'mere." He laid on his side inviting her into his embrace.

"No, it's weird," she shook her head.

"Would you feel more comfortable if I took off my clothes?" he asked. She always snuggled up to him when she thought he had fallen asleep after having sex. "I'm kidding," he chuckled when she glared at him. "C'mon, it's late and you fall asleep really fast when we cuddle."

She sighed and gave in, letting him envelop her in his arms with her back to him. Beca tilted her head hearing him wince after sniffing.

"It hurts, doesn't it?" she nodded at his nose.

"Yeah." He nodded. "It's like getting punched in the nose."

"You know this could have been avoided if you put ice on your nose." She looked back ahead of her, resting her head on the pillow.

He chuckled, pulling her closer to him.

"What's so funny?" she asked in confusion.

"You've been nagging me to go fix the snoring," he started to say then sighed, "now that I did you're going to nag me about how poorly I'm taking care of my nose," he told her.

"And that's funny because?"

"It's not," he shrugged, closing his eyes. "Bec, you're gonna kick ass at being a mother," he said and hear her yawn.

"Good night, baby." He rubbed his palm against her belly. "Good night, Bec," he quickly added feeling her tense up and rubbed her arm with the hand he was rubbing against her belly.

"Night," she said, relaxing a little. Sex would feel less weird because she'd turn off rational thinking while doing it with him. They had crossed a lot of lines but using pet names felt like too much. Lying in bed wrapped in Jesse's arms itself felt very wrong and weird. She couldn't keep stressing over it because she really was falling asleep quicker than she thought.

* * *

Jesse was walking Bender when his phone vibrated in his pocket. He pulled it and stopped walking to reply to the text he got from Beca.

 _Beca 2:32 PM_

 _ **'I just picked Sam up. How's the stalking going?'**_

 _Jesse 2:33 PM_

 _ **'I'm walking Bender and I don't know what you're talking about.'**_

He smiled to himself before hitting send because he knew exactly what she was talking about. He told her he was going to walk Bender around the block Christina lived at in hopes of running into her.

 _Beca 2:33 PM_

 _ **'Just don't get a restraining order.'**_

Jesse shoved his phone in his pocket and sighed then continued to walk.

He wasn't that far away from their apartment so he decided to head there. He estimated that he'd get home the same time Beca does.

And he was right.

* * *

"Hi," Jesse said once he saw them in the elevator. Sam launched herself at him while Beca petted Bender then took off his collar from around his neck.

"How was the walk?" Beca asked.

"Bender really made me feel bad for not taking out enough." He grimaced picking Sam up and, forcefully placing a kiss on her cheek. "Looks like someone wants to nap." Jesse rubbed Sam's back once she rested her head on his shoulder. He looked at Beca questioningly who shrugged.

"You okay, Sammy?" Jesse asked while Beca unlocked the door.

"Yeah," she replied, her head still on his shoulder.

"Are you tired? Do you wanna nap?" he continued with his questions.

"No," she answered curtly.

Jesse frowned and pressed a hand against her cheek to see if she had a fever: she didn't.

"What is it?" he asked once she looked up.

"Mommy said you have an owie," she told him sounding really worried about him.

"Yeah," he affirmed. "But it doesn't hurt very much," he assured her. "I'm fine." He placed a kiss on her cheek. "Ask Beca," he added.

Sam tilted her head to look at Beca who had made her way to the kitchen and was pulling pizza leftovers from the night before to heat up and eat.

"Daddy is fine, Sam." Beca gave Sam a small smile and watched her wrap her arms around her dad's neck hugging him tightly. He hugged her back then pecked her cheek before looking at Beca and nodding at the living area.

Beca looked between the plateful of pizza currently in the microwave and the living area then sighed and followed Jesse.

They agreed to follow through with his plan to tell Sam then let her tell his parents about the pregnancy. However, Beca made it clear that she wasn't going to let him deal with his parents on his own so the part where she wouldn't see his family got scratched out of the plan.

"Remember when you told me you have twins in your class," Jesse started to say as he sat Sam on the couch.

She nodded. "Kelly and Alicia."

He sat down on the coffee table facing her while Beca sat down next to her.

"Remember what you told me then?" he asked knowingly and watched her slowly nod.

"You said you wish you had a sister like Kelly had Alicia because it's not the same to play with us old people, right?" He gestured between himself and Beca.

Sam looked at the two of them and nodded.

"Do you still want that?" he asked.

"Daddy, twins are born together," she told him as if he didn't already know. "I can't have a twin."

He chuckled. "I meant do you still want a sister?"

"Or brother," Beca added.

"Or brother," Jesse repeated after Beca.

Jesse rubbed his hands together then slightly shook his head questioningly at Beca's glare.

She was kind of pissed at his approach: His daughter could very much say no: Having a sibling wasn't matter of choice.

Sam went quiet, thinking about her father's question.

"Yes," Sam answered.

"Well, next spring, you will become a big sister," Jesse grinned at his daughter.

"Me?" she gestured at herself.

"Yeah," Jesse nodded.

"But," she paused. "Why next spring?" she asked in confusion.

"Because, right now, your baby brother or sister is growing in my belly," Beca vaguely explained.

"Don't worry, he or she is very comfortable in there," Jesse said noting the worried look on Sam's face.

"Okay," she nodded slowly taking her father's word. "You said he or she, you don't know what the baby is?"

"We'll know in a couple of months when the baby grows big enough," Beca told her then lifted her t-shirt up, noting that Sam kept looking at her stomach.

"Wanna feel it?" she asked.

Sam nodded.

"It's here," Beca said taking Sam's hand and placing it against her belly then slowly rubbing it.

"Thank you," Sam said as threw her arms around Beca and hugged her.

"Kiddo, you don't have to thank me for feeling my belly," Beca chuckled hugging her back.

"No, thank you for letting my brother or sister grow in your stomach."

Her words warmed Beca's heart, making her tighten her hold.

"You don't have to thank me for that either," Beca told her once she pulled away.

"Wait," Sam frowned. "You're the baby's mommy but you're not my mommy…"

"You and the baby have the same daddy. That makes you half-siblings," Beca explained.

"Okay," Sam said.

"Being half-siblings won't make you any less related," Beca added, seeing that 6 years-olds girl had a sad look on her face. "It doesn't really matter that you and the baby don't have the same mommy." She took the kid's hand and held it.

"You're gonna be a really awesome big sister and help teach him or her how to do a lot of things."

"Like what?" Sam asked.

"Um, things daddy and I aren't good at like playing," Beca shrugged then glanced up at Jesse who went quiet despite agreeing to do most of the talking.

He had a really stupid looking grin on his face.

"Yeah," he cleared his throat, snapping out of it. "Like Beca said," he nodded then got up. He picked Sam up and sat her on his lap after taking a seat on the couch.

"Having a different mommy doesn't make you less of a sister to the baby," he said then placed a kiss on her cheek. "You and the baby are my kids and I love the two of you so much." He rested his cheek against hers.

"Wanna be the one to tell grandpa and grandma about the baby?" Jesse asked taking Sam by surprise.

"Yes." Sam nodded.


	8. Chapter 7

**AN:** I haven't updated in a couple of weeks. Let's just blame seeking education for that while trying to sleep too. I hope you like this. Leave a word that'd be great. Thanks for passing by. Peace, humans.

* * *

Beca was in Jesse's bedroom at his parents' place, laying bed, staring at the ceiling. She had been lying awake for a while.

She sat up, deciding to get up and get ready for the day. If it weren't for the fact that she was hungry, which was becoming a personality trait, she would have stayed in bed until she had to leave for the rehearsal dinner.

* * *

Beca was walking down the stairs when she heared talking coming from the kitchen that sounded like arguing but was too low for her to actual make out what was happening. She frowned noting the way Jesse was trying to keep his voice down while he argued with his mother and continued to walk until Jesse came into her vision. He looked pissed.

Jesse tried to hide it from her and forced a smile, "Beca, hey," he said.

"What's going on?" she asked.

"Nothing," he told her and started climbing the stairs.

She blocked his way and watched him rub his face then look up when she clenched his t-shirt.

"What's going on?" Beca asked again. She let go of his t-shirt when he kept looking at her fist. (Clenching his t-shirt was the way she told him she wanted sex without actually saying it.)

"Jesse?" she arched her eyebrows.

"It's nothing, really," he shrugged, walking past her.

"Was she giving you a hard time because of me?" she asked. He didn't answer: she took it as a yes.

"No, Beca, not you. Wait," he called, reaching for her arm once she started walking down the stairs planning to go talk to his mother.

Beca looked at him expectantly and watched him sigh before reaching for her hand and taking it in his before turning on his heels and climbing the stairs. She followed him figuring he wanted them to be alone before he told her.

"So?" Beca crossed her arms across her chest once she and Jesse were in his bedroom.

"She just brought up my failed marriage with Sandra and how I might not be ready for marriage." He locked the door.

"Wait, what?" Beca frowned. His parents were old school, they believed in marriage before having kids. What Jesse told her was very odd to hear.

"Yeah," he chuckled humorlessly.

"W-why?" she asked.

Jesse shrugged, "I don't seem to look like I'm marriage material to mom."

"And that got you mad?"

"Yeah." He rubbed the back of his neck and looked away from her. "You must be starved," he added changing the subject as he looked up.

"What did you mom say that pissed you off?" she asked, seeing right through him. "Jesse, we can do this all day. And yeah I really wanna eat."

"Mom said since I'm not ready for marriage I won't treat you right and end up divorced again and putting you through it… I-I just lost it at that," he shrugged, avoiding eye contract.

"Oh," she uncrossed her arms and shifted her weight on her right leg.

"Yeah, c'mon, let's get some food in you," he said, changing the subject again, turning on his heels and unlocking the door.

"You don't have to come down with me," Beca told him. "I mean, you were just arguing with your mother," she awkwardly added.

"She's going out to shop for groceries." He looked back.

"Well, then let's just waited until she leaves," Beca said, shrugging, and watched Jesse lock the door after nodding.

"Jesse, you should probably apologize to your mom. She was just telling you what she thought," she told him.

"Yeah," he rubbed his forehead. "I probably should," he nodded in agreement. "What do you wanna have for breakfast?" Jesse asked.

"I don't know," she shrugged. "I just know that I can and I _will_ a lot of food."

"Well, you're eating for two so this is totally normal."

"Yeah," she nodded. "About that," she pulled her t-shirt up. "When I was showering earlier I noticed this. Look, you can actually see a bump," she said sounding both excited and surprised. "It's barely there but still," she shrugged, eyes on her belly.

He paced to her and carefully placed his palm on her belly rubbing it gently. "This is awesome, Bec," Jesse grinned at her once she looked up.

"I'm finally starting to show so yeah this is fucking awesome," she agreed, grinning back at him.

She wanted to kiss him so she looked away from his face because sex was doing what she knew it would do to her: confuse her.

She wanted to be affectionate with him without the intention of initiating sex. And, had to remind herself of their situation, of how shitty and selfish she already was to him just by sleeping with him with no clear direction of where they were headed.

"C'mon, mom probably has left by now," he said and placed a kiss on her temple and stuffed the hand he was rubbing against her belly in his pocket.

"Bec, we need to start thinking of names," Jesse said as he unlocked the door.

"Shouldn't we wait until we know what we're having?" she asked following him.

"Why wait when we can pick now?" he shrugged. "I mean it can only be either a boy or a girl—We need to start noting down names we wanna cross off of the list," he told her.

"Okay," she stretched the word.

"Like names of people you hate or ex-boyfriends," he added, elaborating.

"Oh, it's gonna be a long list. 'cause I'm pretty sure I hate like 85% of people I know."

"The other way around then," he chuckled. "What names do you like?" he asked as they walked down the stairs.

"I like Wade," she shrugged. "Got any idea of its meaning?"

"Nope…" he paused to think then looked at her. "How about this one Becs; Wade William Mitchell-Swanson."

"This kid is gonna have a long ass name," she murmured. "Wait," she glanced up. "Wade William," she stopped walking. "That sounds oddly familiar," she said, trying to remember why it rang a bell. "William, Will… Wilson. Wade Wilson," she paused to look at him. "Deadpool, really?" she looked at Jesse in disbelief.

He shrugged. "That is purely coincidental. I just happen to like the name."

"I highly doubt that, nerd." She slapped the back of his head. "No superhero names. Cross them off of your list." She walked past him and to the kitchen.

"Well, Deadpool isn't really a superhero. Fun fact: he once tried to work for Galactus as his herald. A herald is basically the guy that prepares the planet for Galactus to devour. How is he a superhero if he helps end planets?" Jesse tried to argue. "And, you told me yourself, you like Deadpool. You stayed awake when we went to see it!"

"You're not changing my mind about this," she said over her shoulders.

"What about Peter?" he asked. "Peter is cool, right? Or Diana?"

"Jesse, you know I will look up every name you suggest to check if it's a superhero, right?" she asked and heard him groan.

"Hey, listen, I'm gonna go see Bumper. He e-mailed: he wants me to produce for him," she started to say as she watched Jesse walked past her and to the over from which he pulled a cookie tray and placed in front of her.

"His contract with his label ended and he wants to work with me," she continued to say, taking a seat and grabbing a cookie.

"Want me to come pick you up a few hours before the rehearsal dinner?" he asked as he poured Beca a glass of milk.

She shook her head swallowing the cookie. "No, you go. I'll get ready for the rehearsal dinner then go see Bumper and go with him and Amy," she said, extending her hand to accept the milk from him. "Do you think there's whipped cream around?" she asked.

"Yeah," he nodded and pulled the whipped cream can from the fridge. "Want waffles?"

"No." She accepted the can from him then shook it before spraying whipped cream on a cookie.

"Are you going to produce for him?" Jesse asked. She ran the Artist and Repertoire department which made her the one in charge of choosing the singer and the people who were going to work with them.

"Probably," she shrugged.

"He's based here, are you going to stay here in L.A. for work?"

Beca looked up from cookie she had just sprayed whipped cream on and held Jesse's gaze. "No," she told him before bringing the cookie to her mouth. "He and I need to go over a lot of things before getting to making music."

Jesse nodded while drumming his fingers on the kitchen island. He'd be lying if he said that it didn't matter that she'd be working in L.A. away from him. He's pretty sure he'd lose his mind worrying about her miles away while pregnant.

"I'll make working on the album in New York a condition," she said, knowing it would make him feel better.

"That'd be great," he sighed a sigh of relief. "Want a ride to their place?" he asked.

"I'll get an Uber," she said after swallowing.

* * *

Beca was at the bathroom in Amy and Bumper's house, checking her makeup before they left for the rehearsal dinner. She eyed herself then sighed and got out of the bathroom while looking at her watch. She hadn't snaked in a while and was feeling hungry. "Are you guys ready yet?" she asked loudly.

"Yes-" "-no." Beca heard both Bumper and Amy simultaneously say and rolled her eyes.

She and Bumper talked.

He seriously wanted her to sign him to the label she worked at and produce his album.

She told him she'd do it but not right away, leaving out the fact that she was trying to minimize her work hours because she knew how hard it would be to work once she got really pregnant, and told him that he'd have to come to New York.

He agreed to her terms.

"Well, I'm gonna grab a bite," Beca told them.

"Knock yourself out." She heard Bumper say as she was making her way to the kitchen to get something to eat. She opened the fridge and sighed glancing at a wine bottle before looking away and pulling an orange juice pitcher.

She put the pitcher on the kitchen island and turned on her heels to get a glass. Her eyes fell on the brownies tray in the oven so she pulled it.

Beca was on her third brownie when Amy and Bumper finally finished getting ready.

"Finally," she mumbled before swallowing. "What?" Beca asked when Bumper looked between her and the tray then chuckled.

"How many of those did you eat?" he asked.

"Like three," she answered sucking her teeth.

"Well, you should stop eating," he recommended.

"Beca can handle pot," Amy shrugged and grabbed her phone. "C'mon we're gonna be late."

"Excuse me, what did you just say?" Beca asked, trying not to panic.

"You ate three pot brownies. I hope your trip won't be shitty because it's a long drive to the hotel," Bumper said, playing with his car keys between his fingers.

"I ate pot brownies?" Beca rhetorically asked then closed her eyes and sucked in a deep breath, trying really hard not to let the fact she could very much have harmed her baby trigger a panic attack.

"Are you already high?" Amy asked, slightly concerned.

Beca shook her head then reached for her phone.

"Beca, you're shaking," Amy noted watching Beca. "Beca!" Amy called once Beca tossed her phone on the kitchen island and held her head after she sent out a text.

* * *

Jesse had arrived early. He checked where was seated and wasn't surprised when he found out that he, Beca and Sam were seated next to Chloe, her husband Tom and their daughter Grace.

He joined them.

"Hello people," Jesse said greeting them.

"Jesse!" Chloe said, tilting her head. "Sammy, look at you all grown up," she beamed at the small child and hugged her before she got up and hugged and Jesse.

"Where's Beca?" Chloe asked pulling away.

"She's coming with Amy and Bumper," he told her then looked at Tom who had Grace sitting on his lap. "Hey, man," he extended his hand. Tom took it and shook it. "How have you been?" he asked.

"Great!" Tom simply answered.

Jesse was about to sit down when his phone vibrated in his pocket. He unlocked it to read the text he got from Beca.

 _Beca 4:17 pm_

 _ **'I accidently ate 3 pot brownies'**_

"Everything okay?" Chloe asked noting the way Jesse's face fell as he looked at his phone.

"Yeah," he rubbed his chin. "Could you keep an eye on, Sam? I have to make a phone call," he asked looking between Chloe and her husband.

"Yeah sure," they said in unison.

"Thanks," he thanked them and paced away while bringing his phone to his ear.

 _"Jesse?"_ Beca said picking up.

"Beca," he paused hearing her sniff. "Calm down, stress will make everything worse."

 _"Jesse, don't fucking tell me to calm down!"_ she told him in a cracking voice.

"Okay, where are you?" he asked, changing his approach.

 _"I'm at Amy and Bumper's."_

"Did you tell them about the baby?"

 _"Yeah,"_ she answered.

"Okay, good," he paused, nodding to himself. "Ask them to take you see a doctor."

 _"Jesse, I can't go see a fucking doctor. I don't want my baby to be taken away from me after they're born,"_ she said and started crying.

"No one will take our baby away from you," he firmly said. "You hear that? I won't let that ever happen… Beca, stay there I'm coming. We'll figure this out, okay?" He clenched his fist feeling useless.

"Okay," she answered.

"Jesse?" Chloe called.

Jesse tilted his head to look at her.

"I didn't mean to eavesdrop," she clarified.

He kept looking at her while listening to Beca cry over the phone.

"Jesse, is that Beca you're talking to?" she asked. She heard what he was just telling Beca and it worried her.

He nodded.

"Beca is pregnant?" she questioned in surprise. He nodded again and closed his eyes hearing Beca tell him how sorry she was while still crying.

He put his hand over the phone to keep Beca from hearing him then said, "She accidently ate 3 pot brownies. Please, keep an eye on Sam I need to go to Beca."

"Hand me the phone." She stepped in front of him when he started to walk away.

Jesse didn't get to say anything because Chloe reached over and snatched the phone from him.

"Beca, hey, it's me, Chloe," Chloe started to say sounding calmer than Jesse expected.

"Remember how shitty pregnancy made me feel?" she asked.

 _"Wha-"_ Beca sniffed.

"When I was pregnant with Grace, do you remember how awful my morning sickness was?"

 _"Yeah,"_ Beca answered.

"Well, it got so bad my doctor prescribed me medicinal marijuana when vitamins didn't do the trick and things got better," she informed her friend.

 _"You smoked pot when you were pregnant with Grace?"_ Beca asked after a beat, no longer sounding like she was going to have a nervous breakdown.

"Yeah for a while," Chloe told her. "Nothing bad will happen to the baby because you ate pot brownies. Pot effects are temporary," she continued to tell her friend.

 _"If you're lying to calm me down I will fucking kill you,"_ Beca warned.

"I'd never lie to you, Bec." Chloe smiled hearing Beca exhale. "When were you going to tell me you're having a baby?" Chloe asked in excitement and didn't let Beca answer. "I'm so happy for you and Jesse. Congrats!" she turned to Jesse and gave him a bone-crushing hug.

"Thanks, Chloe," Jesse smiled at the redhead.

 _"Thanks,"_ Beca said from the other end of the phone.

"We'll talk when you get here… We'll talk when you sober up," Chloe said remembering that her friend ate pot brownies.

 _"Okay."_

Jesse took his phone from Chloe and brought it to his ear. "Beca, are you still coming?" he asked.

 _"I don't know,"_ she sniffed.

"Well, you just get stupid happy when you're high," he shrugged. "I'll come stay with you if you don't wanna attend the rehearsal dinner."

 _"No, I'll come,"_ she cleared her throat. _"Like you said, I just become ridiculously happy when I'm high… I should go tell Amy and Bumper what Chloe said before the drugs kick in, I freaked them out good."_

"Hydrate and don't stress too hard and get an anxiety attack. You heard Chloe, the baby isn't harmed."

 _"Yeah, okay."_

Jesse stuffed his phone in his pocket once she hung up and buried his face in his hands rubbing it.

"You okay?" Chloe asked.

"Yeah." Jesse looked up. "I'm just glad everything is okay. I don't know what I'd do if anything happens to Beca or the baby," he shrugged looking up. Chloe smiled sympathetically at him.

* * *

"Beca, we're here," Amy told Beca once Bumper pulled over. "Beca?" Amy shook Beca's shoulder.

"I'm awake," Beca sat up.

Bumper looked at her through the rearview mirror and saw her wipe the drool from her cheek then reached for her bag and pulled her phone. She used the front camera to check how she looked then ran her fingers through her hair before she locked her phone and reached for the door unlocking it and stepping out of the vehicle.

"Is she gonna be okay?" Bumper asked, watching Beca swing her hands back and forth as she made her way towards the hotel entrance.

"She'll be fine, you know Beca," Amy told him as they followed Beca's lead. "She just lets her guard down when she's high."

* * *

Jesse was socializing with a relative of Benji's when Beca walked in followed by Bumper and Amy. He excused himself and made his way to Beca.

"Hi," he said, still walking to her.

"Jesse, hi," she waved, a lazy smile on her lips.

"Okay," she chuckled when he pulled her into a tight hug. She freaked him out and despite knowing that nothing bad would happen to their baby he couldn't shake the fear he felt off.

Jesse placed a kiss on her head then pulled away and held her hands before he got a good look at her.

"Do you want anything? Are you hungry?" he asked.

"We made a stop at taco bell, I'm good for now," she shrugged.

"Okay, good," he said then let go of her hands.

"Where's Chloe?" Beca asked.

"Around," Jesse told her and took a look around. He looked back at Beca when she reached for his hand and held it, stepped closer to him, then leaned against him.

"Are you cold?" he asked.

"No," she said, holding onto his arm with her free hand. "Your blazer feels good," she rubbed her cheek against his blazer and closed her eyes.

Jesse shook his head in amusement.

"Where's Sammy?" Beca asked, opening her eyes.

"Playing with other kids," he told her, tilting his head to check on Sam. "Tom's keeping an eye on the kids."

"Where are you going?" Jesse frowned when Beca let go of his hand and straightened up.

"I'm gonna check on Sammy and let Tom have a break," Beca told him.

"You serious?" He arched his eyebrows.

"Yeah," she nodded and started making her way to where Tom was watching the kids play.

Jesse stayed put and saw Chloe paced then wrapped her arms around Beca from behind. He rubbed the back of his neck then walked away, deciding to go socialize instead of creepily watching Beca.

* * *

"Jesse, my man," Bumper said slapping Jesse's arm.

"Hey, Bumper." Jesse turned to him.

"Congrats on knocking up your girlfriend." He took a couple of glass of champagne from the waiter then extended one of them towards Jesse. Jesse smiled tightly glancing down at the glass before meeting Bumper's gaze. "Right, I forgot you don't drink," Bumper said, shaking his head.

"Thanks, Bumper," Jesse widened his smile.

"How did you get her to keep the baby?" Bumper curiously asked, bringing one of the glasses to his lips.

He knew Beca: she wasn't the kind of woman who wanted kids.

"I didn't," Jesse shrugged.

"Mitchell got the baby fever?" Bumper said in surprise.

"No, not that I'm aware of," Jesse shook his head. He gave her a hard time for secretly liking kids despite her claims over the years, telling her she wanted a kid of her own but he doubted she actually wanted a child.

Beca told him she's only keeping it because she wouldn't purposely get pregnant.

He would have obviously known if she wanted kids. She's _his Beca._ He knew _his Beca._

"Weird," Bumper mumbled. "Well, I'm happy for you, man," Bumper said.

"Thank you." Jesse tilted his head to check on Beca and found her playing with kids.

"I'm so gonna blackmail her with this," Bumper told Jesse then gulped down the champagne and placed the empty glass on a nearby table before he pulled his phone.

"Bumper, she's high. She wouldn't do it sober," Jesse shrugged, aware of the stupid looking grin he had on his face.

"Exactly," Bumper smirked, tapping on the camera icon then glancing at Jesse to find him looking at him. "You're not gonna be a party pooper and try and stop me, are ya?" he asked

Jesse tilted his head to watch Beca play with infants.

"She's gonna hate this," Bumper chuckled.

"Yep," Jesse nodded, grinning when he saw Beca sit down on the grass, run her fingers over the grass then look up to wave at him meeting his gaze.

Jesse waved back and started making his way to her.

"Oh c'mon." He heard Bumper exclaim. Jesse ignored him and kept walking. Beca would really hate being filmed despite how tempting it was to let Bumper film her playing with kids while high.

"You know the point of rehearsal dinners is to get to know the guests not hide out with kids, right?" Jesse said reaching Beca.

"I am getting to know guests," Beca told him and took his hand to get up. "Kids," she clapped, "form an orderly queue ladies and gents," she told them when she got their attention. "Jesse, meet Andy, Claire, Megan, Dave, Annie, Lizzy, Helen, and Sam who you already know." Beca beamed.

"Yeah," Jesse made the hat tipping gesture. "Pleasure meeting you," he smiled at them and rubbed Sam's back when she walked to him. "You having fun?" he asked her. She nodded.

"I'm gonna take Beca with me, wanna come with us and sit at the table or stay and play?" he asked her.

"You go, daddy," she told him.

"Okay." He leaned down and placed a kiss on her forehead.

Jesse wrapped his arm around Beca's waist and walked her to their table.

"Hey, Bec?" Jesse called as they walked.

She looked up.

"Remember the other night you went to the music festival?" he asked.

She nodded.

"What did you mean when you told me that my behavior is what made you doubt us?" he asked. It had been on his mind ever since she said it. He really didn't understand why avoiding fights was a reason for her to doubt their future together.

She was high, which meant she was happy, which also meant he could get answers without pissing her off.

"You really wanna go there?" she asked back, taking a seat and leaning against the chair.

"Yeah," he nodded and watched her rub her nose.

"You stopped caring like a year ago," she casually said.

He frowned. She held his gaze then giggled.

"Beca I never stopped caring about you," he told her.

Beca shook her head in disagreement.

"No, buddy, you did," she insisted. "When we started going out together you wouldn't let me sleep before we get to the bottom of whatever problem we had… now you avoid having to do that." She shrugged. "And you take me for granted."

"I never did that!" he sat up.

"Okay," she nodded. "You're right, I'm wrong. I'm sorry," she added.

"Beca, don't do that," he paused, resting his arm on the table.

"Don't do what?" she asked, playing dumb.

"This. Don't just nod along because you don't wanna—" he cut himself off when she looked at him knowingly.

"See how infuriating it is?" She gave him a sympathetic look then patted his shoulder.

"I'm sorry, Bec," he rubbed his face. "Why didn't you say something?" he asked when she shrugged.

"You wouldn't take a fucking hint," she sighed. "And to be fair, I was ignoring how much I hated that because overall you're pretty awesome."

"I'm sorry," Jesse apologized again and reached for her hand under the table. "How do I fix this?" he asked, taking her hand in his.

"I don't know," she said while rubbing her thumb against his knuckles. "It's kinda late for you do damage control since I can't figure out for the life of me what I want from a relationship with you."

"Bec, the end game that most people would go for is marriage. Do you want that?" he dragged his chair closer to hers and tightened his hold of her hand.

"Yeah, no marriage," she chuckled.

"Got something against it?" he frowned.

"No, not really," she shrugged. "You do," she poked his shoulder.

"No, I don't," he shook his head.

"Jesse, I've known you for a bunch of years now," Beca placed her free hand on his cheek, cupping it. "Your mother isn't wrong; you're not ready for marriage. If you were, you would have brought it up by now." She started stroking his cheek.

He paused to think about it. It didn't cross his mind to ask Beca to marry him. He had no excuse. Hell, he thought they were doing great. It should have crossed his mind.

"Don't beat yourself up about it," she lowered her head to hold his gaze. "It's fine."

"It's not fine," he disagreed. "You shouldn't be stressing over our future. You should be like any mother-to-be out there."

His words made her giggle. "And what do mothers-to-be do exactly?"

"Their biggest worry should be what to paint the baby's room," he randomly said. His point was that she didn't deserve what he had caused.

"Or arguing with the baby's Jewish father over circumcision if the baby happens to be a boy." He smiled at her when she rolled her eyes.

"We're gonna have to talk about that, don't roll your eyes at me," he told her.

"I know," she playfully slapped him, lazily smiling at him when he took her hand and placed a kiss on her palm.

"Bec, I'll make this right," he told her.

"What, you gonna decide for me what I want?" she scoffed.

"No, I'll give you reasons to stay with me and let our baby grow up with the two of us under the same roof," he told her.

"That's sweet," she sat up. "But," she paused to sigh, "wouldn't you be tricking me into staying with you? I mean you'd confuse me even more and believe me when I say I am confused all right."

Jesse ran a hand over his face, frustrated by his limited options.

"Jesse, we're at your childhood best friend's rehearsal dinner." Beca rested her elbow on the table and her cheek against her palm. "You should be having fun," she paused. "Hitting on girls. Scoring some digits."

"You want me to go hit on girls?" he asked in amusement.

"It's not what I want: it's what you should be doing at a wedding as a single man. You've been stuck with _this guy_ all together for 3 years and few months, you deserve some _you_ time," she casually told him.

"Well, Bec, I got used to being in a relationship," he sighed. He couldn't tell if she was joking or if she was talking for real. Pot just put her in a good mood. What she was saying was all her.

"Last time I hit on a girl at a wedding, she was an emotional trainwreck and used me for distraction so I don't know if I have it in me to sweep girls off of their feet."

He still didn't fully understand why Beca was attending her ex-boyfriend's wedding but he was glad she did because it made running into her possible.

"Well, it got you laid last time and it was pretty great," she shrugged.

"Yeah, it was," he agreed.

It was a very distant memory but he still remembered their first time together. She really stole his breath away.

"Got any pointers?" he asked.

"Just be your annoyingly charming self and don't bring up movies, you'll freak them out because you will nerd out," she thoughtfully said.

"What do I talk about?" he wondered.

"Well, definitely not the fact that we're having a baby. I know it's something that you're passionate about and it's cute but I doubt it would help you get laid," she said.

"Makes sense… would you have still slept with me if I would have told you about Sam when we met at Crispin's wedding?" Jesse asked.

"I would have humped a tree that day, so yeah," she nodded.

"Good to know," he sarcastically said then got up. "Welp, I guess I'm off to score some digits," he told her and watched her straighten up. She looked surprised, letting him see that she was actually kidding when she told him to go hit on girls.

She was about to say something when he took off.

Beca sighed and grabbed her purse pulling a Skittles bag she had brought with her. She was opening it when Jesse pulled a chair and sat down next to her.

"What's up?" she mumbled, throwing a couple of skittles into her mouth.

"What are you eating?" he leaned over to get a look at what she was holding.

"Skittles," she answered. "Want some?" she held it his way.

"Yeah, sure," he nodded and reached over. "So, is the coast clear?" he asked her.

"Sorry, what?"

"I meant to ask: are you here with alone or am I talking to someone's woman?" he asked her.

Beca shot him a look that said; "Really?"

He shrugged.

She decided to play along.

"What if I am with someone?" she asked.

"Then," he extended his hand, "hi, I'm Jesse Swanson and I wanna be friends with you."

Beca awkwardly took his hand and shook it.

"And if I'm here alone?" she asked, removing her hand from his.

"I still wanna be friends with you and who knows," he paused. "We could grow to become—"

"Lovers?" she guessed.

"—Best friends." He grinned at her.

"I already have a best friend," she told him.

"I have more to offer I will earn the best friend status, trust me."

"He and I made a baby together which is fucking awesome. I doubt you could beat that."

"A baby, huh."

She nodded rapidity, looking even happier than she already did.

Jesse felt like a moron and a jerk for not noticing that Beca actually wanted a baby before he got her pregnant. He could see it as he look at her and thought back at all the hints he missed.

He began to see why she wanted a break from him: He didn't pick up the fact she wanted kids. He didn't realize what avoiding arguments was doing to her. He didn't even notice how much they have drifted apart.

Jesse knew he had to make things right without making Beca feel like he's tricking her into wanting to stay with him. He just had to figure out how the hell he was going to do that.


	9. Chapter 8

Jesse was getting out of the shower when Beca stepped inside the en-suite bathroom.

"Morning," she said in a really sleepy voice when her eyes met his.

"Good mornin'," Jesse smiled at her. "I didn't think you'd wake up on your own," he added, standing behind her and in front of the mirror.

"Me neither," she said then splashed water against her face in an attempt to get rid of sleepiness.

Jesse watched her dry her face with a towel. "Up for a breakfast feast?" he asked as he turned her around to make her face him.

"That's basically why I woke up," she said and rubbed her eye.

"I'll start on it," he patted her shoulders. "What?" he asked in amusement when she pouted.

"Your kid is making me eat a lot, I'm gonna get super fat." She shrugged his hands off of her shoulders once he laughed at her.

"You'll gain just enough weight throughout the pregnancy to make sure _our_ kid weighs more than a kitten when they're born." He placed his hand on her belly. "Besides, I'll be here to tell you when to hit the brakes if you start to eat more than you should," he assured her.

"Is that a promise?" she asked.

"It's more than that," he paused. "It's a pinky promise." He held his pinky up and kept a straight face. Beca fought a smile then shook her head and turned on her heels.

"You really gonna leave me hangin'?" he asked, still holding his pinky up. Beca turned the shower on then looked back at him. She rolled her eyes before reaching over and interlocking their fingers.

"There." She pulled away. "Go away now I wanna shower."

"Don't fall back asleep under the shower you'd literally fall," he paused as he walked backward while reaching for the door handle. Pot was still in her system; she was feeling quite tired and lazy.

Jesse was considering to stay in the bathroom just in case she did slip since she was going through the "weed hangover" when he heard Beca call his name and looked at her.

"What's up?" she asked, frowning a little.

"I'm gonna shave," he told her. _Nailed it—_ he thought to himself. He didn't want to leave her all alone in the bathroom yet didn't want to come off as overprotective: he knew how much it annoyed her. His excuse worked because Beca nodded.

"Okay," she said and gave him her back and pulled the t-shirt she was wearing over her head then kicked off her shorts.

He looked away from her and reached for the shaving cream.

"Hey Jesse," Beca started to say as she drew the shower curtains. "What did your dad say about us?" she asked.

They put themselves in a tricky situation: Beca told Jesse she'd lie for him so that his family doesn't give him shit because he knocked her up and they both assumed they wouldn't take it well. His mom didn't want him to get married because she thought he's not ready.

"He's pretty passive," Jesse shrugged as he started to apply the shaving cream. "I mean he's happy for us." He grabbed his razor and hesitantly asked, "do you want to call off the fake engagement?"

There was no reason for them to pretend.

Beca grabbed her shampoo bottle and tapped it against her hand, thinking. Calling it off meant having to deal with her paranoid mom which she would rather postpone until she'd have the baby because she knew she'd be busy trying to figure out how to raise another human being and whatever her mother has to say wouldn't really affect her.

"No," Beca said. She squeezed some shampoo into her palm. "Unless you want to, I don't mind if we kept this going."

"I'd rather if we stuck to the plan."

Jesse hated that his mother thought he wasn't up for marriage. And hearing Beca tell him that he's really not up for marriage made him want to want marriage for real.

He was planning on getting her back. And even though they'd be pretending to be engaged in front of their families, he figured it might bring them together. And, he was going to seize every chance he could find.

"Okay." Her answer came muffled by the shower.

* * *

"Bec," Jesse nudged her shoulder. She tilted her head. He nodded in front of him.

"Jesse, I was looking there," she frowned.

"No," he paused. "Go and catch the bouquet," he told her.

"Ew, no," she shook her head. "Besides, I'm supposed to be engaged," she shrugged.

"So, you're not gonna do it?" he doubled checked.

"Not doing it," she assured him. "Jesse, what are you doing?" she stepped back when he nodded and rubbed his hands together. "Really?" she said in boredom when he picked her up bridal style. "You gonna take me and stand with a bunch of chicks desperate to get married?"

"Uh-huh," he nodded.

"I'm still not gonna try and catch it," she told him. He dug his fingers into her thigh and dramatically sighed.

"Bec, people are watching us," he said.

"Twist my arm," she mumbled after taking a look around. "You can put me down."

"So that you'd run away? Nice try." He held up more steadily. "Besides, you're still thin, for _now_." He chuckled when she punched him in the shoulder.

"You're an asshole," she told him.

"Eyes on the bouquet, Becs," Jesse said once they reached the crowd of women that was waiting for Emily to throw the bouquet.

Beca sighed and tilted her head. She had no intention of catching the bouquet. Beca arched an eyebrow when she found Amy, Stacie, and Chloe standing there as well.

"What the- What are you doing here?" she asked. Both Amy and Chloe were married. Stacie's hunter wouldn't approve of her tying herself to one person.

"We're here for moral support," Amy said then gave her an over exaggerated wink.

"What do you mean?" Beca asked.

"Bec, get ready," Jesse called. She looked up and didn't make any move catch the damned bouquet yet it landed on her lap because 3 weirdos didn't let anyone catch it and a nerd holding her step forward while eyeing the bouquet.

Beca picked it up and fought back a smile as she looked at her friends. "I appreciate the team effort, guys."

She tilted her head to look at Jesse and playfully slapped him when she found him grinning at her.

"I basically just proposed to you and you slap me, ouch Bec," he said in mock hurt.

"You'll live," she patted his cheek. "Besides it's gonna take more than a cutesy gesture, buddy," she added.

"I know what you want," he confidently told her then turned on his heels.

"They're gonna go have a quickie," Stacie told Chloe and Amy.

"No, we're not," Beca tilted her head, hearing her. "We're not?!" she looked back at Jesse, she made her statement sound more like a question and hoped he didn't hear it.

"We're not," he confirmed. "You're getting a snack," he told her. "That's what you want all day every day. And, I happened to pack you some homemade snacks."

"Wow, I'm impressed," she nodded.

"You don't have to say it, I'll wife you," he told her and heard her let out a small laugh.

"Okay, Jesse, you can seriously put me down. I can walk," she said.

"Bec, you should tell your friends the truth about us," Jesse said, ignoring what she said. "You agreed to pretend in front of my parents. You don't have to lie to the girls, too," he continued to say. He didn't want her to lie to her parents, she wouldn't listen but he was pretty sure she didn't want to lie to her best friends.

"Chloe won't take it well," Beca told him after a beat of silence.

"She'll understand," he assured her. He knew what she meant: Chloe would tell her how stupid she's being by taking a break when she's having a baby with him.

Jesse put her down and stepped back, pulling his car keys from his pocket and unlocking the car.

"As your best friend, it's my responsibility to keep you from making bad decisions and not telling at least Chloe is a big one. You know how much it sucks to not have anyone to vent to—" He opened the car trunk and pulled a picnic basket. "I'd happily be there for you and you know that but I'm pretty sure it's not me who you need given our situation."

He handed her a sandwich.

"Okay," Beca nodded, taking it from him. "I'll tell the girls," she said, biting into the sandwich. "Later," she mumbled.

"Fuck, I didn't realize I wanted to eat," she told him after swallowing.

"You're welcome," he leaned against the car and smiled eyeing her.

* * *

Beca was enjoying a slice of cake when she saw Chloe approach her out of the corner of her eye. The wedding had officially ended. Guests started leaving. Beca was finishing up her cake while Jesse went to the restroom. His parents had left and had taken Sam with them which meant she and Jesse weren't pretending anymore.

"Are you craving cake?" Chloe asked when she reached Beca.

"No, not really," Beca mumbled. "I'm just hungry," she shrugged.

Chloe silently squealed with excitement. "I can't believe you're having a baby," she beamed.

"You'll warm up to it," Beca assured her. "Chloe, you promised," she quickly added when she caught Chloe looking down at her belly.

(Beca made Chloe promise to not come near her belly because she really didn't want any attention. Jesse's stunt put her in the spotlight but it wasn't that bad. Having people poke her belly wasn't the kind of attention she could roll with.)

"Beca, please?" Chloe pouted while holding Beca's gaze until she sighed and looked around them then stepped forward.

"No, poking," she told her.

"Got it," Chloe grinned and placed her palm against her best friend's belly. "Oh my god, Beca," she exclaimed, feeling the small bump.

"This is so _awesome_!" she said removing her hand then pulled Beca into a hug."When were you going to tell me?" Chloe asked as she tightened her hug.

"As soon as this weekend is over, in one mass text with an ultrasound attached," Beca answered. "Jesse and I figured we'd wait until I'm well into the second trimester before we let anyone know," she added, pulling away.

"So, when are gonna get married?" Chloe asked and noticed how unwelcome her question was. "You did catch the bouquet," she said eyeing Beca.

"The thing landed in my lap because of your weird coordination," Beca reminded her. "And," she stretched out the word before continuing, "the whole catching the bouquet thingy is lame and doesn't mean anything."

"So, you're not getting married?" Chloe arched an eyebrow when Beca shrugged. "Why?" She frowned.

"Because we're not dating—"

"—did you elope?" Chloe cut her off.

"We're not dating. We're on a break," Beca said and braced herself.

"Sorry, a what?" Chloe said, not registering what her friend told her.

"We're on a break," Beca said, repeating herself.

"But- but you're having a baby!" She looked at her in confusion.

"I asked for a break then found out I'm pregnant," Beca informed Chloe.

"Is this some sort of a joke?" Chloe wondered because they looked like a very normal couple to anyone.

"Chloe, we have issues and I need space to figure them out," Beca uneasily said. It was very weird to talk about her problems to anyone except Jesse.

"Beca, when you and your partner have a problem you're supposed to work on fixing it together," Chloe said.

"You don't understand," Beca shook her head. "I got to a point where hearing him chew loudly or snore drove me insane!" Beca put the plate she was holding on a table near her no longer feeling like eating.

"You don't seem annoyed with him," Chloe shrugged. "I mean you're holding hands, he took you to catch the bouquet—"

"Our parents think we're engaged to get married after the baby is born... we were just pretending in front of his parents," she told Chloe, stealing glances at her because she couldn't face her. "His parents are uptight and would give him a lot of shit for knocking me up out of wedlock," she said and rubbed her forehead, deciding to leave out the fact that Jesse's mother was concerned about her son's ability to commit.

"So, let me get this straight," Chloe paused. "You broke up with Jesse. Found out you're having his baby. Decided it would be okay to lie to both your parents?"

Beca looked up and saw how disapproving Chloe was of her choices.

"I didn't break up with him I just asked for a break," Beca corrected and saw Chloe roll her eyes then sigh.

"How are you managing on your own?" Chloe asked.

"Jesse and I are still living together, I'm not alone." Beca scratched her head. "Jesse insisted we'd live together until I wouldn't need him—"

"Beca, this is really messed up. How are you supposed to get the space you want if he's living with you."

"Well, I guess you could say we're on hold until the baby is born," Beca blew a breath. "Chloe, Jesse would lose his mind if I didn't let him stay," she added watching Chloe shift her weight on her left leg and cross her arms across her chest. "I mean, he freaks out when I don't text him when I get to work. He's gotten super protective: it's annoying. You can guess how he'll become if he doesn't see me on a daily basis."

"Beca he wouldn't leave if you don't tell him to leave," Chloe said.

"We agreed he would give me space when the baby grows old enough, like, sleeps through the night, and I can actually manage on my own..." Beca looked behind Chloe when she saw Jesse make his way to them. Chloe glanced behind her for a second then took a deep breath.

"Are you having sex?" she asked.

"That's a little too personal," Beca mumbled.

"Beca, just answer me. You're living together and pregnancy increases the sex drive."

Beca didn't have say it; the guilty look in her eyes was enough.

"It's wrong. I KNOW. Jesse keeps telling me he's fine with it but I know he isn't."

"Then stopping screwing around both figuratively and literally," Chloe exclaimed.

"Chloe, calm down," Jesse calmly said, reaching them.

"My best friend is being a huge moron and you're not doing anything to stop this fucking mess!" she said as she glared at Jesse.

"What am I supposed to do? Force Beca into a relationship she's not sure about?"

"No, you could leave and give her space." She looked between them. "What you two are doing is unhealthy."

"I told you she won't take it well," Beca said to Jesse in both hurt and bored tone.

"Chloe, I'll do that when it's time for me to leave," he gave her a small smile. "I'd pack and leave tomorrow if I knew Beca would be okay on her own. Beca works a lot and doesn't eat enough. She needs someone to nag her about her eating habits and working too much. Not that I don't trust Bec to take care of herself but I know it would be tiresome. And, you can't tell me not to because it's my baby too that is growing inside her." He told himself that he wouldn't get worked up but when he saw Beca clearly hurt by Chloe's reaction he couldn't help but let his over-protectiveness get the best of him.

"I can't let Beca deal with pregnancy on her own. You've been through it, Chloe, it's not all rainbows and sunshine." He felt Beca place her hand on his arm and dig her fingers in an attempt to get him to let it go. He had one thing that he still had to say so he did. "We can put aside our difference for the sake of our baby."

" _Jesse_ ," Beca pulled his arm to get him to shut up. He did.

Chloe sucked in a deep breath then exhaled loudly.

"Babe." They heard Tom call. "I found it." He shook the toy his daughter lost and threw a tantrum over it then fell asleep in her father's arms while he looked for it.

"Great," Chloe sighed and took Grace from him and held her.

"Can I?" Beca asked while pointing at her sleeping niece.

"Yeah," Chloe nodded. She handed Beca Grace and stepped back. "You're not going to wake her up?" Beca asked as she eyed the sleeping toddler.

Chloe shook her head. "Nope. She's pretty worn out." She took her bag from Tom and then held his hand.

Beca rested her cheek against Grace's head that was on her shoulder.

Jesse extended his hand and stroked the toddler's cheek.

"The wedding went well, huh?" Tom said as they started making their way out of the venue.

"Yeah, and the cake's top notch," Beca said then glanced at Jesse to check on him. He was eyeing Grace with a small smile on his lips. He looked like he had calmed down.

"You guys set a date yet?" Tom asked.

"Nope," Beca answered while Jesse just shook his head.

"Oh you gonna wait until you have the baby?" he guessed.

"They're not getting married, Tom," Chloe told him.

"Weird, I thought I heard something about an engagement." He frowned.

"There's none of that," Chloe said, sounding more accepting of her friends' situation. She took Grace from Beca once they reached the parking lot. "Call me," she said and held Beca's gaze until she nodded.

Chloe turned around and put Grace in her seat once Tom unlocked the car.

"Bec, wait here," Jesse said to Beca, realizing that he parked a little too far since the parking lot was somehow emptier.

"Okay," she nodded.

Chloe glanced at Jesse who was making his way to the rental he rented for the weekend then looked back at Beca.

"Chloe, don't worry about him," Beca nodded at Jesse as she watched Chloe.

"You weren't kidding about the over-protectiveness. He's like a mama bear... he's—"

"—don't say it," Beca interrupted.

"— he's your daddy bear," Chloe continued anyway making Beca cringe. "On a serious note, though, do you really need him to be around or are you just letting him stay because you don't want him to leave?"

"Chloe, I... I don't know," she shrugged. "I can't tell between hormonal stuff and what I want!"

"Oh, boy," Chloe dramatically sighed. "We're gonna have to talk about all this." She pointed at Beca.

"Yeah, okay," Beca nodded.

"I should go now. Don't want your daddy bear to think I'm upsetting you," Chloe said seeing Jesse approach in the rental.

"Don't call him that," Beca said watching Chloe stepping inside the car.

"I'll call him what I want," Chloe said over shoulders.

Beca blew a breath and watch Tom drive off then tilted her head when Jesse stopped the car in front of her and rolled down the window.

He was studying her face and looking for any indication that she was bothered.

"Hey, I'm sorry I convinced you of telling Chloe," he apologized once she got inside the car. "I didn't think she'll blow up in your face."

"It's fine, Jesse," she told him as she fastened her seat belt. "She's just worried and I don't blame her," Beca shrugged looking up.

"Okay," Jesse smiled at her then turned the radio on before he drove off.

* * *

 **AN:** So, watcha think of this? Whatever it is you think leave it in a review below. Thank you for time and until next time.


	10. Chapter 9

It was 2:11 am on a Friday when Beca woke up from an intense and vivid sex dream that led to an orgasm. She ran her fingers through her hair as she processed what had just happened. She was grateful the door was locked because she knew Jesse would have woken up by the noises she probably had made.

Beca winced feeling cramps hit her like a punch in the guts. "Fuck!" she wrapped her arms around herself. She forced herself to get up and walk to the bathroom to check if was just cramps or if she had to wake Jesse up and start panicking together.

There was no spotting and the cramps got less painful then stopped eventually.

She stood in front of the mirror and ran the water, splashing it against her face and wondering if it was going to happen again. Chloe told her that she was probably going to experience sleep orgasms as a consequence of cutting Jesse out of her system.

Beca managed to do it. She managed to stop sleep with Jesse.

She knew how wrong it was to let herself use him like that. Talking with Chloe for hours over the phone helped her sack up and stop having sex with Jesse.

It was hard and made her want to climb Jesse like a tree but it was also the right thing to do. It had been just a week since they returned from L.A. and she was having a really hard time, she wasn't sure how she was going to survive without sex.

Beca grabbed the towel and dried her face before stepping out of the bathroom and deciding to grab a bite.

She started to make her way to her favorite place in the apartment; the kitchen. Flipping the light switch in the living area she frowned finding Jesse sleeping on the couch. He had his forearm over his eyes while his leg and other arm were dropping on the floor: he looked very uncomfortable.

"Jesse," she said in a low voice as she lightly shook him. She straightened up when he woke up startled.

"Beca." He sat up and looked very dazed. "Are you okay?" he asked and stood up. He rubbed his eyes to get rid of the sleepiness.

"Yeah, I'm fine. Don't worry. You?" She took a step back, painfully aware of how close he was standing.

He nodded.

"Why are you sleeping here?" she asked.

"It's closer to your room," he answered with a shrug. "Why are you up? You hungry?" he asked sounding more awake and aware of his surroundings.

"Yep," she sighed.

"What do you wanna eat? You craving anything in particular?" He began making his way to the kitchen.

"Jess, I woke you up to send you to your room not to feed me. You'll wake up with back pain. And, unlike you, I'm not a natural masseuse." She yawned as she followed him.

"You give awesome neck rubs," he told her while rubbing the back of his neck.

"I learned from the best." She watched him open the fridge and leaned against the kitchen counter. He pulled his head back and had a lazy smug smile on his lips that made her roll her eyes.

"So, we're short on grocery which makes our options limited," he said as he looked back inside the fridge.

"Jesse, I'm serious, I can figure it out on my own, go to bed." She walked to the fridge and peeked her head.

"No," he leaned in, in a way that she could feel his warm breath. "Besides, I want a snack too," he shrugged and stepped back feeling her tense up and guessed it was due to how close he was to her.

He hated that she was putting herself through sexual frustration but respected her choices and tried not to make her uncomfortable.

"What?" he frowned hearing her sigh loudly.

"Nothing," she said and pulled an onion, mustard and cheese then kicked the fridge close. She put them on the counter then scratched her head looking around the kitchen.

"What do you need?" Jesse asked, still frowning. It was clear from her tone that it's not nothing.

"Do we have pickles?" she wondered.

"Yeah," he nodded then opened a shelf and pulled a pickle jar. He put it on the counter while watching Beca grab a frozen baguette from the freezer.

"You making a sandwich?" he crossed his arms over his chest and leaned against the counter as she put the bread in the microwave.

She nodded and put the knife she used to cut the baguette in halves and bag of chips on the counter.

"Make me one?"

Her cravings weren't odd most of the time but when she did eat something weird it would taste really good.

"Yeah, sure," she shrugged and began chopping the onion.

"So, I was having a dream before you woke me up," Jesse started to say. "You were in it and so was our baby. The baby was in your arms asleep."

"Was it a boy or a girl?" she asked, sniffing. She was 14 weeks pregnant and had an ultrasound coming up in a few days that would let them know what they were having if the baby let them of course.

They were finding out the sex and she was really excited about it. She wanted to know and knew that Jesse felt the same because if she let him have it his way she would be at the doctor's office having ultrasounds every other day until they found out the sex.

"I'm not sure. I think it's a boy. I mean, the blanket was blue, the shade of your eyes actually."

"Well, you do like that color. It doesn't have to mean it's a boy it could be a subconscious thing," she shrugged.

"Yeah," he agreed. "You seemed really peaceful for a new mom," he found himself smiling at the memory of the dream.

"And, where are you in the dream?" she asked, glancing at him and wiping her cheek when she started tearing up because of the onion.

He chuckled then said, "You told me to stop creeping around and get in when you looked up." He uncrossed his arms and straightened up. "then you told me that it's okay."

"As in it's okay to get in?" she frowned.

"I'm not sure," he shrugged and opened the fridge then pulled a juice pitcher.

He looked at her in confusion when she chuckled humorlessly and pulled the bread from the microwave.

"What's up?" he asked.

"I woke up from a dream too," she told him and glanced at him as she began making the sandwiches.

"What was it about?" he asked, filling a couple of glasses of orange juice.

"You know, cravings," she vaguely answered, letting him assume it was about food.

"Huh." He put the pitcher back in the fridge.

"Hey, Bec, I was thinking earlier of potential boys names," he paused when she looked up. "Joseph. Like, we'd call him Joey when he's young. Joe when he's older. And, Joseph when he's in trouble," he grinned.

"I'm a little worried that thinking about your child in trouble makes you grin." She grabbed the pickle jar.

"Thinking about our child makes me happy." He extended his hand for her to give it to him when she couldn't open it. "So, what you think? Do you like Joseph?"

"Joe is nice," she told him.

"We still have until next April to pick a name, I'm just saying," he told her.

"Jesse, the kid is yours, too," Beca said in boredom. He was walking on eggshell it bothered her a lot.

"I know, it's just I also thought of a middle name that goes with Joseph," he cautiously started to say.

"Go on," she rested her hand on the counter and held his gaze.

"Caleb," he told her.

"Joseph Caleb," she said, trying to think of a reason behind his cautiousness.

"The initials, Bec," Jesse paused to let her figure it out. J.C. sounded like Jesse.

"As I said, this just something I thought of earlier," he repeated.

"What do these names mean?" she asked.

"Joseph means he will add and Caleb means devotion to God. Both names are Hebrew."

"J.C. He will add devotion to God," she drummed her fingers on the counter, thinking. She was pretty confident that it took him a lot of time to figure this combination.

"Okay," she looked up. "If it's a boy then he's J.C."

"Are you serious?" he asked in surprise.

"Very serious," she smiled at him.

"Thanks, Bec," he threw his arm around her shoulder and pulled her to him then forcefully pecked her temple.

She smiled and rubbed his arm for a few seconds then went back making the sandwiches.

"You pick the name if it's a girl," he said and placed another kiss on her temple.

"That's a lot of pressure," she honestly said.

"You'll do great," he assured her.

"Thanks," he thanked her once she handed him a sandwich. "Oh, this is good, Bec," he told her as he chewed.

She nodded in agreement as she bit into her own sandwich and leaned against him forgetting for half a second what it would do her.

"So good," she uneasily said after swallowing.

Jesse removed his arm from around her and leaned against the counter instead, feeling her tense up, again.

"Easy," he told her noting that she was barely chewing. She nodded and slowed down then tried to hop on the counter and sighed when she couldn't. Jesse laughed, put his sandwich aside, and gently picked her up then sat her on the counter.

"You should be ashamed for laughing at a pregnant woman," she said, lightly punching him in the shoulder.

"I'm sorry," he apologized while he grinned at her.

"Jess, we could still do the J.C. thingy if it's a girl," Beca said as she picked one of the glasses up and took a sip.

"No, Bec, that's a lot. I'm _so_ happy you agreed to Joe Caleb. It means the world to me that you said yes to that."

"Well, you told me I get to pick the girl's name," she shrugged. "So, I'm thinking," she paused. "Jane as a first name because I've always liked that name and Cara or Camila as a middle name. Which one do you like best, Cara or Camila?"

"Let me look up their respective meanings," he told her and walked to the living area. He grabbed his phone then made his way back to the kitchen.

"So Jane is Hebrew and means God is gracious," he paused as he looked up the second name, "Cara has a Celtic meaning which is friend and an Italian one that is beloved." He took a few seconds to google the third name then said, "Camila is Arabic and means perfect and compete."

He put his phone aside and looked up. "I like Camila 'cause, it's true, our kid will be perfect," he smiled warmly at Beca.

"You're so cheesy," she said and bit into her sandwich. "So, we got Joseph Caleb if it's a boy and Jane Camila if it's a girl," she mumbled.

"Look at that, we figured out the names at 2:41 am," he told her as he glanced at the time. "Cheers to that," he picked up his glass of juice and held her way.

Beca picked hers up and click glasses with him.

* * *

Beca was sitting in the waiting room flipping through a magazine absentmindedly while she waited for both the nurse to call her into the doctor's office and Jesse, who was running late, to show up.

Jesse texted her saying that he wasn't far and that he'll get there in less than 15 minutes. She was hoping he wasn't just saying to avoid pissing her off because lying would do that more than missing out on the ultrasound that would let them know what they were having. She didn't want to do it alone but also didn't want to wait for any longer: she wanted to start buying cute baby clothes that aren't unisex, damn it!

Bored with the magazine, Beca tossed it on the coffee table in front of her and leaned against her seat. She glanced to her side when a male nurse sat down next to her.

"Hi," he smiled at her.

She smiled back and pulled her phone, she was going to answer some work emails then decided not to. She was mildly pissed off at Jesse and knew that thanks to how well her body had been coping with the hormonal overload she'd end up sounding like a bitch in her emails so she loaded a game called office jerk instead.

"You here for a check up?" he casually asked.

Beca looked up for a second to get a better look at him. She guessed he was in his mid-twenties. He had brown hair. His eyes were blue and kind of reminded her of Chloe's eyes. And, he was new because she had been going to the same OB/GYN ever since she moved to New York and had never seen him before.

"No, I'm here for the excellent magazines," she dryly said and picked a magazine. She expected him to leave her alone but he chuckled instead.

"Bad question to start a conversation," he nodded in realization. "I'm Rafael," the nurse introduced himself.

"Beca," she leaned back against her seat and began flipping through the magazine and stopping to read an article that was pregnancy related and that grabbed her attention.

"How far along are you if you don't mind me asking?"

"14 weeks," she answered. She was weirded out by the fact that he knew she was pregnant and was hitting on her. It made her wonder if she misread him and if it was obvious that she was pregnant.

She was wearing a loose fitting t-shirt and a flannel shirt that used to be Jesse. She claimed it hers because she wore more than he did. She was pretty sure the bump wasn't visible.

"Is the dad in the picture or can I ask you out for lunch? I'd say drink but I'm pretty sure you'd prefer food."

Okay, she was _super_ weirded out by his question and didn't hide it. Who in their right mind would ask a pregnant woman out on a date?

"Thanks, stranger, I'm flattered but I'm not looking for anything right now," she gave him a polite smile then looked back at the magazine in her hands.

"Well, you know where to find me if you changed your mind," he said then got up and left.

She was about to flip the page when Jesse dropped in the chair to her right. "Hi," he breathlessly said. "Sorry I'm late," he added, catching his breath.

"It's fine," she shrugged then looked at him. "Why are you wearing a brace? What happened?" she asked taking in the brace he was wearing a wrist brace on his already screwed up wrist.

He had a skiing accident several years ago and he was supposed to never pull any pressure on his wrist because the accident caused some nerve damage.

"Don't worry," he said.

"This why you're late? Were you at the hospital? Jesse, what the fuck happened?" she asked as she glared at him and began to panic.

"Calm down. I'm fine." He held her shoulders.

"What's this then," she pointed at a scratch on his face. "Jesse?" she called his name as she noticed another scratch and wondered if there were any she couldn't see.

"I was crossing the street and I didn't see a car coming," he paused when her eyes widened. "Look, it barely hit me. I'm fine. My wrist is hurt because I pressed my palm on the ground a little too hard. And you know how sensitive it is."

She kept eyeing him looking for any indication that he was lying and trying to make it sound less serious than it actually was, then threw her arms around his shoulders and hugged him.

"I'm fine, Bec," he rested his hand on her back and rubbed it.

"You should have told me," she tightened her grip.

"I didn't want you to worry over nothing," he smiled at her once she pulled away. "I know you can't help it but this isn't worth crying," he said as he stroked her cheek with his thumb noting how close she was to tears. "I'm okay."

"Look both sides before you cross the fucking street," she sniffed and buried her face in his chest.

"I was in a hurry and I couldn't risk missing out."

"You risked your life," she mumbled.

She was overreacting and was blaming her hormones.

"I'm sorry. It won't happen again," he placed a kiss on her head.

"Promise?" she sniffed.

She looked up and rolled her eyes when he held his pinky finger up. She interlocked their fingers and used the back of the shirt to wipe her cheeks.

"Beca Mitchell?"

They both tilted their head when they heard a nurse call her name.

"C'mon, let's go see our baby," Jesse said and watched Beca get up then followed her when she began making her way towards the doctor's office.

He caught Rafael checking Beca out when she walked past him so caught up with her and reached for her hand, loosely holding it. He swore under his breath when she tightened her grip in an attempt to keep him from feeling the way her hand was shaking, hating that he was the reason she was shaking. He freaked her out and as much as he hated it he couldn't deny the fact that seeing her worried about him was reassuring. She _still_ cared about his well-being. He was _still_ important to her.

* * *

 **AN:** What will the baby be? A boy or a girl?


	11. Chapter 10

Jesse was grinning as he unpacked the food that just got delivered for dinner. His face hurt from grinning so much. After placing it on the kitchen island, he started to make his way to Beca's bedroom. She said to wake her up when dinner arrives.

He pushed the door open and peeked his head then frowned hearing her moan in her sleep. He wondered if the fact that she was sleeping on her stomach was somehow making her hurt.

"Bec?" he called as he gently shook her.

Beca sighed, her eyes still closed, waking up.

"You okay?" he asked once she rolled over and sat up.

She nodded, running her hand over her face.

"You sure?" he wondered as he eyed her.

She nodded and pushed the covers aside before she got up.

"Were you having a bad dream?" he guessed watching her rub her eye while wearing her slippers.

"Why? Did I say something?" she asked after a beat, praying she didn't. He interrupted a sex dream when he woke her up and she kinda hated him for it but not so much because painful cramps always came after she'd wake up from an orgasm.

"You were moaning," he paused. "Are you hurting? Wanna head to the hospital?" he asked, sounding worried.

"No, I'm fine," she assured him.

He didn't quite believe her because her voice betrayed her.

* * *

"So, how and when are we telling people?" Jesse asked as they dined. Beca was a little too quiet and her behavior began to worry him.

"Huh?" she looked up.

"About Joseph?" he grinned.

His grinned widened when her face lit up as she smiled.

"I haven't thought about it," she shrugged. "The ball is in your court, dude," she said as chewed.

They fell into silence once again.

"Okay, what's wrong?" he asked, not bearing the silence.

"Nothing," Beca answered.

"You're too quiet. We just found out what we're having today, for heaven's sake! Are you giving me the silence treatment for getting hit by a car?" He watched her sigh and grab a napkin to wipe her mouth with.

"Jesse, I'm fine. Nothing is wrong."

He scratched his head, thinking that she had shut him out, blaming himself and hating it.

"Wanna hear something weird that happened before you showed up at the doctor's office?" Beca said, noting the way Jesse seemed angry with himself, in an attempt to make him believe that everything was fine with her. She was just horny and couldn't exactly tell him. She just wanted to finish eating and go give herself some good ol' release.

"What?" he frowned.

"Some nurse hit on me," she told him.

"Why is that weird?" he wondered.

"He knew I'm pregnant and asked me out."

" _He_ ," he paused, thinking. "I saw a male nurse checking you out there, he had bright blue eyes. Is it the guy that asked you out?"

Beca nodded.

"Only reasonable explanation I got is that he's got some sort of a fetish. Because who would find a person who has someone growing inside of them attractive," she added.

Jesse rubbed the back of his neck. "A lot, trust me," he told her as he looked at his empty plate.

She noticed how he had been rubbing his neck uncomfortably and wanted to help, knowing that spending multiple nights on the couch were the main cause of his neck pain and guessing that getting hit by a car made it worse.

"Jesse, are you done eating?" she asked as she sucked her teeth.

"Yeah," he nodded and watched her get up.

"I'll take care of this," he picked a plate up.

"Later," she said and took his hand, guiding him to the couch.

He sat down in confusion but didn't question her. He soon felt her small hands on the back of his neck after she climbed on the couch. "Tell me if it starts to hurt, okay?" she said and began massaging the back of his neck.

Jesse nodded, closing his eyes.

His body aches badly and he was hiding it from her. The massage felt so good, he didn't want her to stop. He didn't realize a massage was what he needed. He was usually the one giving them. He only remembered how good it was to receive when Beca gave him a neck rub, despite the fact that she hated how it made her hands ache afterward.

"Thanks, Bec," he thanked her once she removed her warm hands. He turned around in a way he'd face her to do what he always did whenever she gave him a neck rub; rub her hands.

"We could call our parents and text the rest about Joseph," he said as he took both of her hands in one hand.

"I'm not calling mine," she told him. "I can't deal with mom now. All she does is lecture me about what to do and what not to do while pregnant," she said in boredom.

"Well, you never ask her for advice," he shrugged.

"I have a doctor that is more than willing to tell me everything I need to know," she replied.

"Bec, true but he never had a human being grow inside him, your mom did," Jesse said in an attempt to get her to pick up the phone and give her worried mother a piece of mind.

He remembered very well what Dr. Mitchell told him about how his first wife, Beca's mom, Nicole, had a miscarriage before having Beca. It was the reason she was paranoid about her daughter.

She thought Beca was engaged to get married after having her baby and the fact that the pregnancy was unplanned it put Beca in the same position as her: Dr. Mitchell and Nicole got married because they were expecting. They lost the baby then had Beca later but the miscarriage affected their marriage badly and they thought having Beca could fill the void. It didn't.

Nicole simply didn't want her daughter to go through what she did which is why she was constantly nagging her.

Beca, of course, unaware, hated it and thought it was just her mom thinking low of her and her ability to take care of her own baby.

"There must be something you don't need a doctor for," he said and pulled closer to him.

"Like what?"

"Um, stretch marks. They're genetic. Ask her if they went away after she had you so that you know if you gotta worry about them or not," he shrugged.

"Actually, that's a pretty good point," she nodded. "Thanks," she thanked him.

Jesse let go of her hands when she pulled her left hand and ran her fingers over the scratches on his face.

"Are there any others I can't see?" she asked.

Jesse shook his head, unable to say a word because of her touch.

"Why do I have a feeling that's not true," she said moving her hand from cheek and resting it on his neck. Jesse closed his eyes when her hand went to the back of his neck and pulled him to her gently. He missed her touch but promised himself that he wouldn't initiate anything unless she asked.

Beca didn't say the magic words nor clenched his shirt so he just sat there waited for her next move.

Jesse felt her breathing as it got hitched before she leaned in. Then, she kissed him. He kissed her back slowly and placed his hand on her waist when she threw her arm around his shoulder and basically jumped him kissing him hungrily.

Jesse threw his arm over the couch to make sure he wouldn't hurt his wrist while he dug his fingers in her waist when her kisses got a bit too demanding.

Beca pulled away when Bender barked jumping on the couch. She wiped her lips with the back of her hand while trying to control her breathing.

She closed her eyes and removed the hand that was gripping Jesse's hair and shook her head before getting up.

"I'm sorry for assaulting your face," she apologized and made her way to her bedroom, slamming the door behind her.

Jesse blew a breath and looked at Bender before he shifted uncomfortably because of the erection he got from making out with Beca. He rubbed Bender's head then got up, planning to go clean the kitchen island.

Jesse had just begun cleaning when he heard Beca unlock the door. He tilted his head and watched her walk to him.

"Jesse," she called as she tried to walk faster.

Jesse dropped what he was doing and paced to her, meeting her halfway.

"Can you feel it?" she asked in excitement as she took his hand and placed it on her belly.

"Feel what exactly?" he asked.

"Joe just kicked," she told him a little bummed out that he couldn't feel it. "I thought it was strong enough for you to feel it," she added.

"Is he kicking right now?" Jesse asked as he moved his hand around.

"No, but he was like have a minute ago," she sighed.

"Was he kicking when we were..."

"No," she shook her head.

"You think it had something to do with it?" he asked.

"I read that baby reacts to how I'm feeling," she paused when he frowned. She was pretty sure her kid could feel her frustration.

Jesse, at that moment, wanted to pick her up and take her to her bedroom to rock her world and make her feel good. He removed his hand from her belly and stepped back, keeping some distance between them because he couldn't do it without her permission.

She didn't make a move so he went back to cleaning the kitchen island giving himself some distraction from what he really wanted.

Beca stood and watched him for a few seconds then turned on her heels and went back to her bedroom.

* * *

Jesse thought of how he could make Beca feel a little better without sex and figured he'd make something she loved eating as a late night snack; waffles drowning in whipped cream.

Gotta start somewhere, right?

Jesse knocked on the door and waited. He checked the time and wondered if she was asleep then quietly unlocked the door. He heard the shower run so he widely opened the door.

"Bec," he called in a voice loud enough for her to hear.

"Yeah?" she answered.

"I made waffles," he said and heard her turn off the water.

"Thanks," she thanked him from inside the bathroom.

He placed the tray on the nightstand and was about to leave the room when he noticed what was Beca's laptop: she was looking up apartments for sale in New York.

"Beca," he pointed at the laptop when she stepped out of the bathroom, wearing nothing but a bathrobe, her cheek were flushed from the shower, her hair just towel dried was over her shoulders. She looked hot and it took him a second to get his shit together. Jesse cleared his throat and said, "what's this?"

"My laptop?" she answered and tucked her hair behind her ear as she made her way to her wardrobe.

"Bec, why aren't I aware of this?" he asked in the calmest tone he could muster.

"Because I just started looking," she said she turned to look at him.

"You agreed to stay until we have the baby," he reminded her.

"Yeah, well, I can't," she paused. "Jesse, I can't continue to live with you," she said while she held his gaze hoping he'd understand how hard it is to live with him.

"Who is going to look after you?" he asked.

"I can look after myself," she said.

"What if you go into preterm labor who's going to be there for you, have you thought about that?"

"Jesus Christ, Jesse," she exclaimed. "Please, try to understand."

"Understand what? The fact that you're willing to go live all alone just because you want to have sex with me?"

"Yes! It's confusing and wrong. I can't do it," she shrugged.

"What's so wrong with sleeping with someone you love? I know you don't think we have a future but I'm very sure you love me. And I will get you back, Beca," he firmly said. He saw the way her pupils dilated at his words which meant that what he said turned her on and took a few steps forward.

Beca blinked when he kept gazing into her eyes.

"Are you in denial or something?" she asked. "We're on a break. We're supposed to be apart."

"We talked about this. We're putting our differences on hold until we have the baby!"

Beca was about to say something then didn't, instead she placed a hand on her belly.

"What?" Jesse asked, slightly worried.

"He's kicking," Beca said and reached for Jesse's hand. She slipped it under her robe so that he'd have direct contact with her skin.

"Holy shit," he let out a small laugh and grinned feeling a kick. "Hi there, little guy," Jesse softly said, moving his hand around. "Are you stretching or trying to tell us something?" he asked.

"He's probably reacting to how pissed off I am," she said.

"Don't pick a fight now," he looked up.

"We were in the middle of one. And it's making me _so_ so horny," she said and pulled him down to her, pressing her lips against his. He knew she'd regret doing it but didn't stop her because he saw how much she needed it.

He picked her up and helped her wrap her legs around his waist, ignoring the pain he felt coming from his wrist, never breaking the kiss then sat down on the bed.

She gripped his hair, digging her nails into his scalp while kissing him senseless.

"Jesse," she said pulling away to catch her breath.

"Yes," Jesse breathlessly said.

"Leave." She got up and gave him her back. "Please, leave now," she said and closed her eyes hearing him get up and leave the room. She blew a breath hearing him close the front door behind him after leaving the apartment.

* * *

Jesse found himself wandering around near a bar not far away from his apartment. He wanted to stay relatively close to home in case something happened.

It was a cold November night and he was feeling like shit but not shitty enough to break his sobriety. Yes, Beca was driving him crazy with her hot and cold shit but he knew she couldn't really control her attraction to him and was trying to do what she thought what right.

Jesse stepped inside the bar and took a seat on a stool.

"What can I get you?" the bartender asked.

"Root beer, please," Jesse said and tried to smile at the bartender.

"Thanks," Jesse thanked the bartender once he placed the non-alcoholic drink in front of him. He took a sip from the sugary drink that shouldn't really be called beer.

He hated what Beca was doing so much but couldn't hate her for it.

Beca was planning on moving out and he knew he had to come to terms with her choices eventually. He glanced to his right hearing a woman take a seat next to him while she hummed ain't goin' down til the sun comes up. She drummed her fingers and stopped humming to call the bartender, "Hey, yo, Micheal, Surfer on Acid, please," she said then turned to Jesse feeling his gaze.

She frowned eyeing him. "You look familiar," she said.

Jesse recognized the woman. He had been looking for her for a while.

He ran into her in front of a drug store, she was hungover and yelling at her bag when he met her. She was late for an Alcoholic Anonymous meeting and needed something for her head. He helped her out then and kept thinking about her because she would help a lot in a movie project he was planning. He wanted to make a film about recovering from an addiction and need more than his short experience with addiction as source material.

"Chimichanga," she snapped her fingers remembering him.

"It's Jesse," he told her.

"I'm Christina," she introduced herself.

Jesse nodded and picked his drink up and brought it to his lips. Despite the fact that he had been looking for Christina he had no desire to talk to her or anyone for that matter.

"It's 11:40 pm on a Wednesday night and you're at a bar drinking," she glanced at his drink, "Root beer?" she said in confusion reading the label.

"I don't drink alcohol," he shrugged.

"Then what are you doing at a bar?" she wondered.

"I don't know," he sighed. "My," he paused, not knowing what to refer to Beca as. "I just had a fight with my girlfriend and she asked me to leave and I didn't want to get far from home in case she needs something," he paused, "she's pregnant and not really my girlfriend anymore."

He heard Christina say, "Oh." She looked up at the bartender and thanked him.

She looked up at the bartender and thanked him.

"Do you still go to AA meetings?" Jesse asked once Christina took a sip from her drink.

She nodded swallowing. "Sometimes, when my _godfather_ is in town," she told him.

"Oh, okay," Jesse said and held his beer shaking it.

"What are you having?" Christina asked after a beat.

"A boy," he paused to take a sip. "We found out today," he smiled in spite of himself then sighed. "What do they do in AA meetings exactly?" Jesse asked, resting his elbow on the counter and cheek on his palm tilting his head to keep eye contact.

"Mostly talk about their feelings," she paused. "Wait, you don't drink, right?"

Jesse nodded. "I haven't had a sip in like 5 years now," he told her.

"5 fucking years," she said in awe.

"Yep," he nodded.

"How come you never been to an AA meeting then?"

"Didn't need it," he shrugged. "Actually, I did but I didn't think I did," he corrected himself.

"How did you quit then?" she asked.

"I ate a lot of chimichangas," he joked not feeling like taking a stroll down memory lane.

"Okay, I'll make sure to tell people about this next time I go to an AA meeting," she chuckled and took a sip from her drink.

"You welcome," he smiled at her weakly. He watched her drown her drink then gesture for a refill.

"So what do you do for a living?" she asked accepting the refill.

"I'm a composer mainly, but I'm into filmmaking as well," he told her.

"Worked in anything I might have come across?" she asked.

"I work in indie stuff mostly, I doubt it," he shrugged. "I did direct a music video for a song that went platinum here in the US," he told her and pulled his phone from pocket and looked up the music video he directed for the Barden Bellas then handed her his phone.

"This is your friend," Christina said as she watched the music video. "The one that drove me to the hospital," she glanced up, recognizing Beca. He nodded and sipped his beer.

"I had just stopped drinking back then," he shared with her once she had finished watching it.

"Good times, huh?" She brought her drink to her lips.

"Oh yeah," he chuckled in spite of himself. "What about you, what do you do?" Jesse asked, feeling more social.

"I drink," she held her drink up.

"What, like a professional taster?" he asked.

"More or less, except I pay for the drinks usually," she told him with a shrug.

"Huh, so you're in between jobs now?" He brought his own drink to his lips.

"Worked as a headhunter for half a decade," she informed him. "Then my parents passed away and they're filthy rich and I'm an only child so there was no need for a day job," she sighed.

"I'm sorry for your loss," Jesse sincerely said.

"Thanks," she thanked him and drowned her drink. "You're not gonna ask if it has anything to do with my "drinking problem"?" she asked using air quotation.

"Personally speaking, I hate talking about what made me turn to alcohol, so no," he shrugged.

"I appreciate that, Chimichanga." Christina patted his shoulder.

Jesse rubbed his temples then groaned before resting his head on the counter. "I don't know what to do with her," he mumbled.

"Your ex-girlfriend?" Christina wondered, gesturing for a refill.

Jesse nodded into the counter. "She's driving me crazy." He looked up. "I can roll with her usual schtick but I don't think I can roll with not having her within reach especially when she's pregnant. I hate what she's doing so much but I can't fucking hate her!" he told Christina in frustration. Christina kept awkwardly looking at him not knowing what to say.

"You really love her, huh?" Christina wondered.

"Oh yeah, so much, it's disgusting, actually." He sat up.

"And she doesn't anymore?"

"No, she loves me all right. She's _just_ doubting our relationship," he sighed. "I don't want to lose her but she keeps pushing me away," he mumbled rubbing his face.

"She'll come around," she apologetically said and patted his shoulder again and accepted her drink.

"I surely hope so." He scratched his head then checked the time. It was past midnight. He glanced at Christina was drowning her drink. "You always hang here?" he asked her.

"Yeah," she nodded, licking her lips. "It's close to my place," she shrugged and smiled at the alcohol buzz she was feeling. He smiled back at her and shook the empty bottle then gestured for another one root beer.

* * *

"Hey, what's that song that goes like _'This woman is my destiny_. _She said: ooooh, shut up and dance with me'_?" Christina slurred, resting her weight on Jesse who was trying to unlock the door to her apartment.

"Shut up and dance by walk the moon," he answered, turning the key and unlocking it. "C'mon," he said as he carried her into the apartment. He flipped the light switch then looked around before he started making his way towards what he figured was her bedroom.

"I'm gonna get you some water and something to eat, okay? Don't fall asleep just yet," Jesse said as he helped her take off her shoes after he sat her down on the bed.

Christina nodded and ran a hand over her face.

Jesse sighed when he heard her slam onto the bed as he made his way to the kitchen. He could have been home hours ago if he wanted but he liked being around Christina and he had a feeling she wouldn't find her way home with the way she was drowning her drinks, so he stuck around at the bar.

"What are you doing?" he asked in amusement when walked back to Christina's bedroom and found her fumbling with an iPod.

She placed the device in its dock system.

Jesse shook his head in amusement when _shut up and dance_ started playing. He watched Christina dance along as she walked to him. He sighed and put the glass of water and crackers he was holding on the nightstand before he took her hand.

" _She took my arm I don't know how it happened._ _We took the floor and she said_ " Jesse sang along to the song, wondering when the woman dancing with him was going to crash. _"Oh don't you dare look back. Just keep your eyes on me. I said "You're holding back," "She said","_ he sang to her.

 _"Shut up and dance with me"_ Christina sang back while grinning.

 _"This woman is my destiny. She said."_ Jesse watched her walk backward as she danced then reached for her arm to keep her from falling when she tripped.

 _"Oooooh, shut up and dance with me,"_ Christina sang-yelled. "This song is so awesome," Christina hollered.

"Totally," Jesse nodded in agreement pulled her to him to keep her from tripping again then glanced at the time.

He smiled when she ran her finger over the scratches on his face and sighed at the fact that it didn't do what Beca's touch did. He wasn't sure anyone would ever affect him the way Beca did.

"These make you hot," she told him, referring to the scratches on his face. "How d'you get 'em?"

"I got hit by a car," he told as he smiled at her and made her laugh.

Jesse wasn't surprised when Christina leaned in for a kiss. There wasn't much distance between them and she was intoxicated. It made sense. He kissed her back briefly then pulled away. He wasn't the type that took advantage of drunk women. And, despite the fact that he was technically single it felt wrong to kiss someone that isn't Beca.

"You gonna get noise complaints," Jesse said then walked to the dock system and lowered the volume. "It's 3:30 in the morning," he told her when she booed him.

"What are you doing here?" she asked as she reached for the crackers then jumped on the bed.

"I really don't know," he shrugged and walked to the balcony. He stood in front of it then sighed before tilting his head to look at her. "Drink that glass of water, it'll help a little with the intensity of your hangover," he said watching her stuff her mouth with crackers.

"Okay," she mumbled.

"Guess, I'll see you around then?" he stuffed his hands in his pockets. She nodded as she chewed.

"Take care," he said over his shoulders as he made his way to the front door.

* * *

 **AN:** I wanna thank you all for reading. Thoughts on the developments are nice to hear.

Have a good day, peeps. Until next time, adios.


	12. Chapter 11

Beca appreciated the fact that her co-workers were genuinely happy for her whenever one of them congratulated her on the baby. She really did. But it was starting to become difficult to give the same answer and show the same amount of appreciation. She wasn't good at small talk let alone be appreciative of their kind words to her.

Beca blew a breath and closed the door behind her after getting inside her of her office, glad she's going to be in her office for a while. She shrugged off her coat. Took a seat in her office chair. Pulled some contracts that she had to go through and sign.

"Here we go," she murmured, cracking her neck, and wore earbuds.

Paperwork was something she hated. But, she had to do it.

Beca was so concentrated on the paper in front of her and had music flowing in her ears, she didn't hear the knock on the door nor did she the person when they walked in. She only looked up when the person that walked in stood in front of her desk.

"Morning," Matt, her co-worker, said as he stepped in juggling a smoothie, a cup of coffee and a bag that had muffins inside it. Beca removed an earbud, seeing him.

"Hi." Beca tucked a lock of her hair behind her ear, feeling a little embarrassed that she texted him asking if he could stop by Starbucks and get her a smoothie and muffins because she couldn't do it herself and make it in time for work. Don't get her wrong, she ate at home. But being 4 months pregnant made her hungry all the time and she couldn't not eat.

Beca pushed her seat back and got up, walking up to him. "Thanks," she took the bag and smoothie from him.

"Don't mention it," he waved it off and took a good look at her.

"What?" Beca asked feeling his gaze and not looking up because she was busy unpacking the muffins and placing them on her desk.

"You're wearing Yoga pants. You never wore them to work before," he said. "And you complain about not respecting the dress code."

"I haven't bought any maternity clothes yet, my pants don't fit like they used and it's too cold for a dress," she sighed. She woke up late for work and couldn't exactly spend time picking what to wear. She was using pregnancy as an excuse. "You know how tight my schedule is."

"Beca, you don't have to work full time, you know that?" he reminded her. She ran the A&R department, and ran it well enough she didn't have to be there all the time.

"There are some contracts I forgot to take with me home yesterday and I need to go through them." She shrugged and walked around her office and sat down.

"Get an assistant and you wouldn't have to leave your apartment to get the contracts you forgot to take with you," he suggested and sat down on one of the chairs facing her desk.

"No," she said, grabbing the smoothie.

"Why won't you get a freaking assistant?"

"It's weird," she shrugged as she brought the straw to her lips. "I'm pregnant and I'm getting more pregnant by the day..."

"Oh, I see why," he nodded to himself. "You don't want them to see you 'weak'," he added using air quotation.

"Don't you have a job to do?" she asked in an attempt to change the subject because he was right.

"I'm taking the day off," he brought the cup of coffee to his lips.

"I'd apologize for making you come down here on your day off if I didn't know you," she said after swallowing. Matt rarely ever got any work done, he relied a lot on his team. He claimed he didn't even like the job, he got thanks to his father, but Beca knew he liked bossing people around as a director of their marketing department.

"Thanks," he smiled at her. "Okay, back to assistants," he leaned against his seat and watched Beca roll her eyes and look back at the pile of paper in front of her.

"Beca, just think about it. You're having a baby. You're gonna be busy doing... baby things," he cringed a little at the thought of taking care of babies. "You can't really take a long leave to take care of your kid because if you do your department will fall apart." He rested his legs on the chair facing him.

"Yeah, I know," she ran her fingers through her hair, stopping to scratch her head and look at Matt. "I thought, I'd just work from home and drop by once in a while until Joseph could function without having me around twenty-four/seven." She looked away from Matt's eyes as she spoke because she felt a lump in her throat at the thought of being away from her baby and he wasn't even born yet.

"How early are you planning to go back to work after having the baby?"

"Like a couple of months," she told him.

Matt dropped his legs and sat up. "Beca, even I know that two months is too early. And, I'm like Jon Snow when it comes to babies and childbirth."

"Well, I'm not gonna work full time after two months. I'll just show up like three days a week," she paused to huff. She had to work on getting herself to actually do it. "Jesse will be there to look after Joseph when I'm not around," she said with a shrug. Jesse. Saying his name made her heart ache. They weren't speaking. They haven't been for a couple of weeks. She hated it and hated how far away he was despite being in the same place as her.

Yet, she couldn't blame him for not talking to her. He wasn't really ignoring her or anything, they talked, sometimes. He was just passive and wasn't trying anymore to get her to eat more or drink more water or call when she wouldn't text him that she made it to work.

After she asked him to leave the room and he left the apartment, she waited up to apologize for being a hormonal bitch to him but fell asleep on the couch waiting. The only way she knew he came that night was the fact that she woke up in her bed.

Beca figured they'd talk after she got back from work that day but they never did. She knew that he wasn't a fan of their current situation but also didn't know what to do. She didn't leave much of choice. She physically wanted him but given the fact that they're on a break she had to ignore what she wanted and he had to keep his distance from her. But not talking to him sucked, big time. She wished they could just get back together, but it wasn't going to happen since she hadn't made up her mind yet.

A whistle from Matt snapped her out of her thoughts.

"What's your boyfriend say in all this?" he asked her.

"We still haven't talked about it," — _or anything_ —she answered as she reached for one of the muffins while her eyes were fixated on the paper in front of her.

* * *

When Beca got home early, she was surprised to find Jesse sitting in the living area working. He usually stayed in his bedroom when he was home ever since they stopped talking.

He looked very focused as he typed and pretty hot wearing his anti-blue-light computer glasses. Jesse felt her gaze and only looked at her when she walked past the living area and to her bedroom. He rubbed the back oh his neck then rested his head against the couch. He hated how they've become. He wanted to talk to Beca and patched up but didn't know how to start or when. He hated that so much because it wasn't like him not to know how to talk to Beca after a fight. He spent the whole day at home thinking about talking to her and occasionally working.

Jesse closed the laptop lid and got up, deciding to go through with it and make peace with her.

"Sorry," Jesse apologized when Beca walked into him. He didn't even see her walk back to the living area.

"No, it's my bad," she stepped back and avoided eye contact as she walked past him.

"Beca, wait," he called seeing that she was on her to the front door.

"What's up?" she turned on her heels, not hiding her surprise.

She kept watching as he tried to say something then changed his mind. She could tell that he didn't prepare what to say.

"What are you up to this evening?" he finally decided to ask.

"I'm just gonna go get some stuff that I ran out of from the grocery store," she said while playing with her car keys between her fingers. "Want me to get you anything?" she asked, shifting her weight on her left leg.

He shook his head and scratched his stubble.

"Okay," Beca tightened her hold on her keys and turned on her heels.

"Can I come?" he nervously asked watching her unlock the door.

"Um, yeah.. sure," she shrugged.

"Cool," he rubbed his hands together. "Lemme just grab a jacket or something," he told her then raced to his bedroom aka the guest room when she nodded.

"Jesse, it's too cold for a jacket: grab a coat," she called after him in a loud enough voice he'd hear.

"Okay," Jesse chuckled to himself, glad that not being on speaking terms didn't keep Beca from saying that to him. It was one of the things they sometimes argued over and ended up in her getting pissed off when he'd take wearing clothes appropriate for the weather lightly. _I won't take care of your sick ass!_ was what she always told him. The thought of that kind of arguments brought a smile to his face.

* * *

"I'm sorry." Jesse rubbed his eye after taking off the glasses he forgot to leave at home. "I'm sorry I haven't been talkin' to you," he apologized while watching Beca push the button for the ground floor as they stood in the elevator.

"I'm sorry for everything I've done and said that night," she apologized while looking at her feet.

"I'm sorry I overreacted when I saw that you're looking up apartments," he sighed.

"It's fine," she shrugged. She expected that reaction from him. "And, I was going to tell you, it's just that I had just started looking up."

"I know you were." He kept eyeing her and debating whether or not it would be okay if he reached over and hugged her and kissed her on the head then decided not to.

"We should have done this sooner," Jesse wore back the glasses and leaned against the wall.

"Yeah," she let out a humorless chuckle and went quiet as she stuffed her hands in her pockets and leaned against the wall as well, still avoiding eye contact.

Jesse leaned against her and smiled when she rested her head against his arm; that was as close as he's going to get to her: it warmed his heart and hurt at the same time.

* * *

"Found any interesting apartments?" he asked as they walked out of the elevator.

"I haven't been looking much," she paused. "I would have if I wasn't busy with work," she elaborated not wanting him to think that she changed her mind.

"I understand," he nodded. He really did. He had a lot of time on his hands to think about it. He understood what she wanted and wasn't going to be a dick about it because he had no right. And for the time they co-existed in the apartment he saw for himself that she could do without him. She didn't need him. It hurt to admit it but it was true.

"Well, what do you have in mind?" he asked, stuffing his hands in his pockets, feeling cold, once they were on the street.

"I know I want a place with at least three bedrooms 'cause I'm gonna need one for the nursery."

"Of course." He waited until she unlocked the door before he got inside the car that she parked by the sidewalk.

"And, I wanna actually own it. I don't want to rent. I'm not planning on leaving New York anytime soon so why shouldn't I just buy a house or something." Beca shrugged starting the car.

Jesse sighed because he wanted to take part in buying the house _as a family_ then nodded when she looked at him.

"I don't suppose you want a house in the suburbs?" he asked as she began to drive.

"Ugh, no, I'll probably just buy some apartment here in Manhattan." She paused. "Matt's been trying to get me to buy his friend's penthouse."

"Penthouse!"

"Yeah," she glanced at him. "His friend is going to divorce his wife and wants to sell the house 'cause it's under his name and he doesn't want her to take it in the divorce settlement," she told him what Matt told. "I've been told he'd accept whatever offer I make," she added.

"Well, have you seen it?" he wondered.

"I've seen pictures of it, I haven't been to the place yet. I don't want to go unless I'm seriously considering it." She paused then looked at him after stopping at a red light. "And, I have been recently thinking about it. Wanna tag along?" she asked. He got what she was asking from her tone: she wanted his opinion, not just his company.

"Yeah, sure, I'd love to," he immediately said.

"Cool," she looked back at the road.

* * *

"How's the movie coming?" Beca asked as she and Jesse made a stop at the Dried and Packaged goods aisle.

"Still in the early stages," he told her while reaching to grab ground coffee. " _Really_ early," he added as he tossed the coffee in the shopping cart. "I ran into Christina, remember her?" He paused. Beca nodded. "We've been... hanging out, so that's been helping me in a way," he continued.

"You managed to get her to want help sober up?" Beca asked in surprise, remembering what he told her that he wanted to help Christina kick off her drinking habit because the idea for his movie is about the emotional journey to getting better.

"Not really," he chuckled humorlessly as he scratched his head and looked down at his feet. All the times he hung out with her at the bar, they just sit around and talk about movies, sports games, and all sort of random things while she got wasted. He then would make sure she got home safe then head home.

"Oh, okay," Beca looking away from him when he lifted his head, assuming from his reaction that they were hooking up. "Anything else you gonna get from this aisle?" Beca asked.

Jesse glanced at the shopping cart then shook his head then watched Beca push it and followed her to the feminine care aisle.

"That's excessive, don't you think?" Jesse arched an eyebrow when Beca grabbed 6 pantyliners packs and dropped them in the cart.

"Nah, this is about right," she told him with a sigh then looked up to find him frowning.

"Are you, like, leaking or something?" he wondered in confusion.

"You mean, leaking the water?" she asked. He nodded. "No, too early for that," she told him.

"Then what is it? If you need this much." He gestured at the cart. "It means there's a lot of... discharge?" He paused. "It can't be nothing," he said in worry. "Did you talk to your doctor?"

"Jesse, it's nothing unusual." She shrugged.

"Yeah, but what did your doctor say?"

"I didn't bring it up," she said and began pushing the cart. "I asked mom."

"You oughtta ask him, Bec," he followed her. "Why didn't you ask him?"

"Because. I. Asked. Mom." She glanced at him. "Dude, you're the one who said I should talk to mom," she reminded him. "And, I haven't asked my OB/GYN yet 'cause it's not a big deal."

"You said yet. Does that mean you're going to ask him?"

"Yeah. Mom told me vaginal discharge is normal but she said I should check with my doctor because you know her. She worries about everything," she said in boredom.

"When are you going to see him?"

"I made an appointment for next Tuesday," she informed him and watched him rub his forehead and swear under his breath.

"I have a meeting next Tuesday and I'm supposed to spend the day with interns," he told her. "I can get out of it but—"

"—Jesse, don't worry about it. I'll be fine."

"You don't like going alone," he told her. She never said it but he could tell that she wanted him around whenever she went to see her doctor after getting pregnant.

"I'll be fine," she repeated and held his gaze until he sighed giving in.

"So, what do you wanna paint the nursery?" Jesse asked, moving on. Beca chuckled at his question. "What?" he wondered.

"Nothing." She paused. "It's just that I haven't even bought clothes for Joseph yet."

"You haven't?" he rhetorically asked in surprise.

"I've been busy. And when I'm not busy with work I'm too tired to do it." She shrugged. "I'll just shop online."

"What? No!" he shook his head. "You have to buy them from a store. Shopping for babies is so awesome, Bec! And you have to experience that." He paused. "You done with grocery?" he asked.

"Um, yeah," she nodded.

"C'mon, let pay for these then head to some baby store," he said. "Unless you're tired," he quickly added.

"No, I'm good," she fought back a smile because she was legit excited about shopping for their baby.

* * *

 _ **Tuesday.**_

Beca was on her phone, waiting to get called into the doctor's office, opening a work e-mail when she heard the person who sat next to her say, "Hi." She looked up and kept a stoic expression when she recognized the man that sat down as the nurse that straight up asked her out last time she was at the doctor's office.

She settled for simply smiling tightly and looking back at the e-mail that she had yet to read.

"Your boyfriend late again?" he wondered.

Beca was taken aback with his question that a stranger shouldn't ask. "Okay, what's going on here?" she asked, locking her phone.

He had a confused look on his face when she looked at him. "What?"

"Cut the crap and just tell me what do you want from me?" she sighed.

"I did tell you what I want from you," he said after a beat.

"Yeah, I'm not buying that one," she said, referring to when he asked her out when she first met him.

"Why is it hard to believe that I want to go on a date with you?" he wondered.

"Jee, I don't know? Maybe 'cause I'm pregnant?" Beca had enough of him and just wanted to get it over with because she liked her OB/GYN and didn't want to change him because of a nurse.

"So?" he shook his head curtly in wonder. "I saw you. I thought you're attractive and wanted get to know you better. Pregnancy isn't a dealbreaker," he said with a shrug.

His words made it hard for her not to smile because hearing someone other than Jesse tell her she's attractive—Jesse wouldn't dare tell her otherwise—when she didn't think she is felt great. She couldn't let him see that she liked what he said so she rolled her eyes at him.

"Look, you seem nice." She paused. "But I'm not interested." She held his gaze as she spoke.

"'Cause you're having a baby?" he said in disbelief.

Oh, yeah, being pregnant was a factor. But she hadn't considered seeing anyone during her break from Jesse.

"The baby's dad?" he added when she didn't reply.

"It's none of your business, that's what it is," she deadpanned.

"Sorry, that was out of line," he apologized, rubbing his forehead. "I don't know if you could relate, but sometimes you're just drawn to someone so much it's frustrating to get turned down." He shrugged.

Beca didn't know what to say to him and was thankful that it was her name the nurse at reception called.

* * *

Beca awkwardly told her doctor about the reason she was there. He asked some questions. Checked up on her and her baby. And as she expected, nothing was wrong with her.

"Have you been experiencing anything else?" her doctor wondered.

"You know, back pain, my ankles and feet hate me, persistent headaches but they're probably unrelated," she shrugged then arched an eyebrow when he looked up from his notes.

"How persistent are they and when did they start?" he asked as he put his notepad and pen aside.

"Like a week ago and they're pretty persistent. I've been doing a lot of reading at work, my eyes aren't taking it well," she told him.

"Have you experienced trouble seeing?"

"It gets blurry sometimes," she told him.

"Any abdominal pain?"

She nodded again.

"What's wrong?" she asked when he reached for a blood pressure monitor.

"Bad headaches, blurry vision, and abdominal pain are symptoms of a condition called Preeclampsia," he calmly said as he held her gaze. Beca frowned and waited for elaboration from him as she took off the sweatshirt she was wearing over her t-shirt so that he could place BP cuff on her arm. "Preeclampsia is a complication that causes high blood pressure and damages the kidney. And, it's usually developed late in the pregnancy." He paused. "Beca, I need you to relax in order to get an accurate measurement. I'll tell you more about it after we run some tests, okay?"

"Okay," Beca nodded and took a deep breath. As soon as she was relaxed enough he measured her blood pressure.

"Have you been eating salty food?" he asked in his way too gentle voice as he removed the cuff from around her arm.

She shook her head. She wasn't really keeping track of what she ate but always kept in mind what was bad for her and her baby and avoided it.

"Your blood pressure is 172, which is very high. You're barely 16 weeks pregnant and there are many possible causes," he was saying to her and she nodded.

"But you think it's the pre-something," she guessed and it was his turn to nod.

"It's rare to develop it as early as 16 weeks but very possible." He watched her wear back her sweatshirt. "We need to check for protein in urine to give you a conclusive diagnosis."

"Okay," Beca said.

* * *

The drive back home gave Beca time to think about what her doctor told her regarding the complication she might have developed and what it could do. He asked her to collect urine for 24 hours to test over time because it was the most accurate test. She thought about googling the thing but decided against it because she knew the internet often gave a deadly diagnosis. She was trying not let it get to her because her blood pressure was high and she really didn't want it go any higher.

She thought hard and decided not to tell Jesse about what she could have possibly developed. There was no need to freak him out yet.

Beca was lounging on the couch with Bender at her feet, her laptop on her lap and a jar of fluff to her side when Jesse walked into the apartment.

"You look like you had fun at work," she said when he dropped on the couch and sighed throwing his head back.

"I am never going to show new interns around ever again," he told her as he closed his eyes. "I felt like a tourist guide," he added as he sat up briefly to take off his jacket.

"Jesse, you could just quit working there, you know? You make more money from the freelance jobs you get anyway," she shrugged. He did more than composing at the company he worked at. And most the services he did were pro-Bono.

"I like mentoring newbies." He rested his elbow on the couch as he looked at Beca. "It's fun and reminds me of my teaching days." He smiled thinking back at the years he spent teaching music at a high school until he punched a perverted teacher in the face and got fired.

"Then get your masters degree and teach music at college," she suggested lowering the laptop's lid to look at him.

"That sounds like fun too but going back to school is gonna wait." He paused. "How's Joseph doing?" Jesse asked.

"He's doing fine." She subconsciously placed her hand on her belly.

"And how are you?" he smiled at her.

"I'm good." She smiled back. He was in a really good mood and seeing him happy made her feel better.

Beca watched him pull his phone when it chimed and saw how his smile turned into a grin as he read a text he received. He felt Beca's gaze on him so he said, "Christina is ridiculous," he shook his head.

"What d'she say?" Beca asked keeping her tone as casual as she could despite the annoyance she was feeling.

It wasn't that she didn't know why hearing Christina's name pissed her off, kinda. Yeah, she was jealous and she was trying to keep Jesse from seeing it because she cared enough about him and his happiness to not be a bitch. She's the one who asked for a break: He deserved to see other people.

Of course, he never said he was seeing Christina and she assumed he was keeping it from her because he promised to wait for her.

"She took a homeless man out on a date," he chuckled as he typed on his phone. "I told how rich she actually is right?" he looked up. Beca nodded. "Well, she decided to play Santa and asked a homeless guy what he wanted and he asked for a date with her."

"That's interesting," Beca said as she closed her laptop and put it aside. What was really interesting, to Beca, was the fact that Jesse didn't react the way a guy would when someone he's seeing tells him they're going out on a date with someone else. So, she assumed that either their hooks-up were casual or they were just friends. And, instead of asking him about the nature of his relationship with the woman, she kept it to herself.

"She's insane," Jesse said and put his phone on the coffee table. Looking back at Beca he frowned when he saw the way she was rubbing her temples.

"Bec, you should get your sight checked," he told her as he reached for his blue-light glasses and held them her way. "Here, wear these in the meantime," Jesse added.

"I'm just tired, Jesse." Beca took the glasses from him and wore them. They weren't going to fix her headaches but they would give Jesse some peace of mind. "Haven't been sleeping well," she lied. She had been sleeping. Quite a lot, actually. But it never seemed enough.

Jesse scooted closer to her then carefully placed his hand on her belly. "Hey there, buddy," he softly said as he gently rubbed his hand. "We get that you're just stretching but sometimes you stir mommy from sleep, tough guy. So, just take it easy and let her sleep." He rubbed his hand then looked up to meet Beca's gaze when he felt a kick, it felt less of a kick and more of a tender bump.

"He's not even here yet and he's already taking after his badass mom. Such a rebel," he said as he grinned at her. Beca lightly slapped him and couldn't help but smile at him.

"Well, well, well, little guy," Jesse said as he rested his arm on the couch. "Looks like both you and mommy are teaming up against me," he pouted.

"You're an idiot," Beca said.

"I'm communicating with my son so that he'd recognize me once he's born," he shrugged and looked up. He watched Beca rub her eyes and sat up. He rubbed his hand against her belly and said, "You should go catch some sleep, Bec, while I make dinner."

She nodded.

"What do you want for dinner?"

"Chef's choice," she said and put the fluff jar on the coffee table then took off the glasses and curled up on the couch. She heard Jesse get up and less than a minute later she felt Jesse put a duvet over her. "I'll wake you up when dinner's ready," he told her. "Sleep well."

"Thanks," she mumbled her thanks.

* * *

 **AN:** As always, I wanna thank you all for dropping by. I'd update more often but I'm kinda busy. What do you guys think of the latest developments? Hit me up with your thoughts.


	13. Chapter 12

Thanksgiving was around the corner and Beca had a lot to be thankful for this year: the human being that was growing inside her, that she will hopefully get to meet in a few months, was definitely the one thing she was super grateful for. He wasn't planned but she really wanted him from day one. Of course, she had a mild panic attack when she found out about him because she wasn't sure she could be a decent parent. Admittedly, she had thought about having a child of her own and tried to talk about it with Jesse a few times but he didn't get the hint so she dropped it. But when she saw the two lines on the stick, reality hit her and it was pretty damn frightening.

The fear of failure was still there: She wasn't a 100% ready to have a child: But she was going to do everything in her power to be an okay parent and hopefully raise her son to be a decent functioning member of society.

 _He just had to be born first._

Beca took a deep breath and exhaled as she thought about her baby boy who she really wanted to arrive in this world when he's supposed to and not prematurely as her doctor feared after he diagnosed her with Preeclampsia.

She took the morning off to go see the doctor and when she got in her car and began to drive to work she had a really bad anxiety attack and so she took it as a sign to just call in sick and play hooky for the day. She made a call and somehow managed to drive to Central Park where she found an empty bench and sat on it.

She grabbed her phone, planning to call Jesse. He should know. She should have called him sooner. She should have called him when she felt the anxiety attack building up. Yet, she didn't. She decided to deal on her own.

Tapping on the logs icon, she kept eyeing the screen. She knew he had to know that she was sick and probably wouldn't be able to keep their son in the womb until he's fully developed because she developed the shit called preeclampsia really early in the pregnancy which made controlling the symptoms until she's due a little hard. _Yet_ she didn't want to tell him. He had finally warmed up the fact that she was going to live on her own and her health issues would really mess that up.

Instead of calling him she tapped on another contact.

She cleared her throat as the phone rang.

 _"Beca? Honey, is everything okay?"_ her dad's worried voice came through the phone.

"Yeah." She paused. "I'm just calling to see how you're doing," she said with a shrug.

 _"I'm doing well,"_ he answered a hint of worry in his voice still.

"What about Sheila? She alright?" she asked.

 _"Yeah, she's well too."_

Beca glanced up and noticed the way clouds were gathering. She knew it was a matter of time before it started to rain.

"Hey, dad," she started to say.

 _"Uh-huh?"_

"Do we have any health problems that run in the family?" she asked.

When Beca asked her doctor if she had done anything wrong that could have caused her to develop preeclampsia he told her that it was unlikely her fault and that developing it early in her pregnancy might be due to a genetic reason.

 _"No, nothing really stands out,"_ he said after a beat.

"What about mom's side of the family, dad?" She really didn't want to ask her mother because she _really_ couldn't deal with her.

 _"Beca, is there something you'd like to tell me?"_ he asked her.

Beca glanced up feeling a raindrop fall on her forehead. "No," she sighed and got up and started making her way back to her car. "I was just wondering. To clear things up and run tests and stuff, you know?"

 _"Uh-huh."_ Beca clenched her jaw at how unconvinced her father sounded. _"Well, I don't think there's anything on your mother's side either. But you should ask her_ _to be sure."_

She wasn't going to call her mother. Knowing if it's in her genes or not wouldn't change anything. She was sick and that was it. She couldn't change it. She could take meds and do what her doctor tells her to do and hope for the best. She was just curious.

"Dad, what are your plans for the holidays?" Beca asked as she unlocked her car and got in, changing the topic. "Finally going on a cruise ship or what? That's like a must-do in every retired person's life."

She smiled hearing him let out a small laugh.

" _Sheila is working over the holidays I can't go on a cruise ship without her,"_ he told her. _"She's going to be in New York actually. Her work engagement is between the 23rd and the 24th but she couldn't find any flights back home on the 24th. She's gonna be stuck there over the holidays."_

"Oh," Beca started the car to get the heating going before she leaned against her seat. "You should come over, too," she said as she rubbed her temple thinking. "We could like have thanksgiving dinner."

 _"Bec, I know how you feel about last minute plans,"_ he knowingly said, declining her invitation without even saying it.

True, she wasn't a fan of this sort of plans but she did want to see him. She actually missed him and kind of wished she'd sack up and ask for advice from her old man like she originally intended when she decided to call him but that wasn't happening so she figured seeing him in person might help.

"Just come, okay?" she said and shook her head for her inability to form a better sentence to say. She was never good at saying sentimental stuff to her dad.

" _Okay,_ " he said after a long beat.

* * *

 _ **Thanksgiving Day.**_

Beca was unloading grocery she bought with her mother and step-mother for dinner when Jesse peeked his head through the doorway.

(After telling Jesse that she invited her dad and his wife over for thanksgiving he asked about her mother and told her how uncool it would be not to invite her as well. Seeing that he had a point, Beca picked up the phone and called her.)

"Hey," he smiled at her then stepped inside the kitchen.

"Hi." She glanced up for a second.

"Where's everyone?" he asked.

"They're at the Macy's parade," she told him as she pulled the fridge door.

"Why didn't you go with them?" he wondered in confusion.

"Um, I have a headache and it's windy outside." She shrugged. "And I will end up complaining about my back and feet and suck the fun out of it," she sighed. "We just went out to grocery down the bloc and my feet already hurt."

He nodded and rested his elbow on the fridge's door while she stacked grocery in it.

Beca looked at him when he held a card her way. She took it from him and flipped it around. She smiled noting that he made it himself. It wasn't anything fancy. Just a folded paper that he drew something that's supposed to be a turkey. ( She wouldn't have guessed if it weren't for the arrow that was pointing to it with turkey written next to it.)

Next to the 'turkey' he wrote _'Happy Thanksgiving.'_

She opened it and read the note: _'There are a lot of things I'd like to thank you for but I don't think I could fit it all here. So, Thank you for Joseph and for being in my life. Love, your best friend.'_

Beca kept eyeing the card then sniffed and blew a breath before looking up. Jesse pushed the fridge door close and reached for Beca pulling her into a hug. He thought her tears were just her hormones heightening her feelings: she was actually pushing back tears because she thought about their baby and how scared she was for him.

Yeah, she didn't tell him she was sick. She didn't want him to worry. It wasn't the right call and she definitely needed his support yet she couldn't bring herself to tell him.

When she started silently crying in his arms, Jesse began to worry. He rubbed her back and held her closer to him the moment she started shaking. She had been bottling up her emotions and building up walls to protect herself: She knew that she if she lost control and cried odds were she'd end up sobbing.

Screw Jesse for causing her to lose her grip with his thoughtful gestures!

She cleared her throat once her sobs got to an end. "You suck at drawing," she said.

"Well, I tried." He shrugged loosening his hold to let her pull away.

Jesse watched her wipe her cheeks and look down at the card.

"I love it, Jess, thanks."

She leaned up and placed a peck on his cheek. She tried to smile but he could see right through her. "I believe a spectacular foot rub is in order," he said, figuring a massage could put her in a good mood.

"Jesse, I have to finish unpacking and start on dinner." She put the card on the counter.

"It's not even 9:00 am yet," he said then clapped his hands. "C'mon," he nodded at the door.

Sh sighed and walked past him. She could use a foot rub.

* * *

She definitely needed a foot rub. Jesse's hands did magic.

"I'll take care of grocery," Jesse said watching Beca sit up. "You look like you could use a nap too." He got up. He was glad his massage did make her feel slightly better.

"What?" he frowned noting the way she was about to say something then changed her mind.

"Nothing," she shook her head.

"What is it, Bec?" he sat down on the couch.

"It's just my head hurts and I'm not supposed to take painkillers 'cause they're not good for Joseph, you know?"

He nodded.

"I don't think I could fall asleep on my own." She shrugged. There was one thing that could help out but she felt it would be weird to ask if they could cuddle.

"We could cuddle," he suggested instantly, knowing that the sense of safety he gave her when he'd hold her helped her fall asleep.

"No, it's fine. It'll go away," she shook her head despite the fact that she really wanted to cuddle.

"Not without drugs," he told her as he kicked off his sneakers. Beca gave in, getting up to let him lay on the couch then laying back on it after he did. She leaned into him and felt him wrap her in his arms and rested his cheek against her head. It felt great. She chuckled when he started singing Flightless Bird, American Mouth by Iron and Wine in a really low voice to help her fall asleep faster.

"Some Bon Iver next please," she requested. He nodded.

She closed her eyes and it wasn't long until she dozed off.

 **Some time later,**

Beca shifted waking up when she felt Jesse cup her breast. Under different circumstances, she would have found it funny that he was grabbing her boob in his sleep. She tilted her head to look at him after she gently removed his hand. He rested it on her belly.

She reached for his face and ran her fingers over his cheek and pulled her hand away when he shifted then sighed waking up. He rubbed his eyes before he looked at her.

"How's that headache?" he asked.

"Gone," she told him.

"Good," he smiled lazily at her. "That's good." He rubbed his hand against her belly.

"Glad cuddling still does it," he said and placed a kiss on her forehead.

"Tell me you felt that?" she asked, feeling their baby kick. He grinned and nodded.

"He's probably telling us to cuddle more often," he told her and watched her shift in a way she was facing him.

"Sure," she snorted then rested her head in the crook of his neck. He could tell that she wasn't fully awake and wanted to go back to sleep so he pulled her to him and rubbed her back, loving the lack of distance between them while also hating the reason behind it. (whenever she would be dealing with something she'd seek physical comfort, which he had no problem providing.) He knew something was up, the way she sobbed when he gave her the thanksgiving card told him much. He was planning on getting to the bottom of it.

He could hear her sigh after she threw her arm around him and began to scratch the back of his neck. "You okay, Bec?" he asked then pulled his head back when she stopped scratching the back of his neck.

Beca shrugged meeting his gaze. "What is it, Bec?" he frowned, noting the conflicted look in her eyes. He put his hand on the small of her back.

"Did I do something?" he doubtfully asked, feeling her play with his t-shirt to avoid looking at him. She shook her head and clenched the fabric in her hand before she looked up.

Jesse looked down at her hand then back at her before he leaned in for a kiss then stopped when she removed her hand and quickly got up. He was quick on his feet as well to hold her seeing that she held her head and almost fell back on the couch. "Whoa, you okay there, Bec?" he wondered, helping her take a seat.

"Yeah, I just stood up really fast. Forgot that makes me dizzy now," she chuckled humorlessly as she removed her hand.

"Sorry, I thought you wanted—" he cleared his throat.

(Clenching his shirt was a gesture they agreed on whenever she wanted sex because she didn't want actually say she wanted to have sex with him.)

"It's fine." She squeezed his hand.

"And, that's probably your parents," Jesse said hearing the doorbell.

* * *

 **Later that day,**

Beca was stuffing her mouth with Greek salad when her step-mother asked, "Where's the nursery, Beca?"

She finished chewing to give herself time to think. "We haven't bought a crib or anything yet," she said after swallowing. "Been pulling it off until I close in on this new place I'm buying."

" _You_ are buying a house?" her mom arched an eyebrow looking between her and Jesse.

"Yeah, maa. _I_ am buying a penthouse to be exact." She took a forkful of salad and brought it to her mouth.

"I can't afford a penthouse," Jesse said when Nicole looked away from her daughter and met his gaze. He wasn't lying. He couldn't. Besides, he had a kid and another one on the way, he was low-key freaking out on how he was going to save up enough money to get them to college so spending money on buying fancy homes wasn't an option.

Beca was doing so well in her career and wasn't spending her money willy-nilly. Jesse actually made fun of her for it and called her cheap because she was leading a very modest life for someone of her status in the music industry.

"Or even a one bedroom apartment for that matter," Jesse added when Nicole wouldn't break eye contact. He had known for years and she still intimidated him. He swallowed. "I mean I could but that would leave me bankcrupt—"

"Jess, have some mashed potatoes," Beca interrupted, placing the plate she initially made for herself in front of Jesse, knowing he was going to start stress-rambling. (her mother really scared him.) He nodded and dipped the spoon in the mashed potatoes.

"Beca," Dr. Mitchell called. Beca glanced at him as she put more salad on her plate. "Did you find out if there are health issues that run in your mom's side of the family?" he wondered.

"No," Beca sighed. "Do we have anything I should look into, mom,?" Beca asked her mother as she looked up to meet her gaze. Beca noticed the way her mother took a second before shaking her head and wondered if there was something indeed.

"Why?" Nicole asked.

"No particular reason." Beca shrugged.

"Bec, you haven't touched anything but salad," Jesse noted.

Salad was the least salty thing on the table and Beca was trying to watch her diet.

"Just finishing up on appetizers before I get into the main course," she said.

She watched Jesse pull a leg from the turkey and place on her plate then smiled at him when he looked at her.

* * *

 **10:11 pm.**

Jesse was laying on his back on what used to be his shared bed with Beca. Dr. Mitchell and Sheila were staying at a hotel and Nicole was staying at their place.

Because last minute plans, that's why.

He followed Beca with his eyes as she moved around the room, grabbing nighties and walking into the en-suite bathroom to change. He watched her lock the door behind her and looked up at the ceiling when she unlocked it later.

He was doing great. Awesome. Wonderful. He totally didn't feel like he was going to explode. He could spend the night in the same room, same bed, and keep his thoughts and hands to himself.

Jesse sighed a sigh of relief and a little disappointment when he saw that Beca was going to bed in sweatpants and a t-shirt, nothing to ignite the perverted thoughts in his head. He had a lot of alone time: he let his imagination take him places. _What?_ He had needs and got creative when satisfying those needs since he couldn't exactly do anything with his pregnant _not-_ girlfriend.

"Jesse, just because I'm unable to stay up after ten-thirty doesn't mean you have to sleep early too," Beca said as she climbed on the bed.

"I know," he glanced at her and folded his hands together. "I'm fine calling it an early night."

"Suit yourself," she mumbled, laying on her side, facing him, and closing her eyes.

"Hey, Bec?" Jesse called less than a minute later.

"mmhm?" she hummed in response.

"You were in the kitchen with your mom for quite some time when you went to check on dessert." He paused. "D'you guys talk about anything I should know of?"

"No, we didn't talk about the penthouse," she answered. "She did ask if we're planning on circumcising Joseph," Beca yawned. "Guess, that's something you should know about," she added.

"And?" he tilted his head when she went quiet.

"Told her we're still talkin' about it." Beca tried to keep her expression neutral as she spoke.

"No, there's no talkin'," he shook his head. "I'm Jewish therefore he is and he has to be circumcised."

"Please, I don't remember ever seeing you eat kosher. I'm pretty sure you don't know when Hanukkah falls this year. And, correct me if I'm wrong but isn't Jewishness passed down through the mother?" She already knew the answer, it was a big fat yes. "Technically speaking, Joseph won't be born a Jew."

"Judaism," Jesse corrected and Beca opened her eyes to look at him.

"Huh?"

"You said Jewishness, it's Judaism," he said as he scratched his stubble, frowning.

"My bad," she sarcastically said.

He nodded then cleared his throat.

"Relax, Jesse, I'm messing with you," she chuckled at the really thoughtful look on his face. "God, you Jews," she sighed.

"It's not just that." He paused, turning on his side to face her. "It's more of an identity thing, Bec."

"I get it," she nodded.

"No, not the Jewishness. It's more of an at-least-he'll-have-something-of-me. For all, I know, he could turn out to look more like you," he shrugged. "It's silly, I know."

"I get it, Jesse," she smiled at him, repeating herself. "And, it's not silly." She paused. "A little weird that from all the stuff you could have picked about your identity as Jew you chose the one about the dick but definitely not silly," she added.

Jesse grinned at her, "good night, Bec."

"Night," she said and closed her eyes.

Jesse watched her for a few seconds then turned off the table lamp.

* * *

Jesse glanced at the time and sighed seeing that it was 11:43 pm. It was safe to say that he wasn't going to fall asleep.

He tried counting sheep, a yoga method that consists of breathing through the left nostril, rewind his day, even tried to hum himself to sleep. As a last resort, he decided to listen to some calming music.

It wasn't working either but Iron and wine made really great music.

Jesse removed an earbud and sighed seeing that it was 12:30 am. He was running a hand over his face when he heard a moan coming from Beca. He reached for the table lamp and turned it on to get a better look at Beca when the moan got followed by another one.

She was asleep. Tight asleep.

He rested his weight on his elbow and arched an eyebrow. "Bec," he called in a low voice as he shook her gently. She moaned again in her sleep. He sat up and dumbfoundedly watched her as she chased, what he couldn't believe was an orgasm, a sleep orgasm.

He couldn't say a word when she woke up right after hitting the edge. He couldn't even move. He didn't want to move. He wanted _her_. Pretty bad.

Jesse was stuttering, as she sat up while trying to control her breathing, then snapped out of it when she wrapped her arms around herself in pain. "Are you okay? Oh my God, Beca, are you okay?" he asked.

She nodded. "Just cramps. They'll pass," she told him. Despite his very unfocused state of mind, he could tell from her tone that what just happened to her wasn't a first.

"arr, d-do I get you anything?" he asked, slightly shaking his head, begging himself to get his shit together. _Self-control, c'mon, we can do this._ — Jesse thought to himself as he tried to push his erotic thoughts away.

She shook her head as she bit her low lip in pain. _Just a few more seconds—_ Beca told herself, reminding herself that cramps never lasted long. They hurt like a fucking bitch but never lasted longer than a couple of minutes.

 _Self-fucking-control_ —Jesse mentally yelled at himself as he watched her bite her lip.

Beca leaned against the headboard and sighed when the cramps came to an end. She could feel Jesse's gaze on her as he waited for some elaboration on what had unfolded in front of him.

"How often does _it_ happen?" Jesse hesitantly asked when she didn't say anything.

"I'm not keeping track," she sighed rubbing her face with her left hand.

"What _triggers_ it?" he asked, not knowing how to put it. He knew she was sexually frustrated. He wasn't jacked up on hormones like she was and was barely keeping it together without sex, he knew it worse for her.

"Sometimes it's random," she said. There were a lot of reasons, she had enough sleep orgasms to kind of figure out what caused them, it was things like seeing him half naked, or when he'd come home sweating like a pig after a run. Her guess for this time: sleeping in his arms and almost kissing him.

Jesse nodded and did the exact opposite of what he should have done by soouting closer to her. He found himself tucking her hair behind her ear. She looked up.

"Random, huh?" he mumbled staring at her lips.

She held her breath when he leaned in and couldn't pull her head back so she let him kiss her. He kissed her fully expecting her to be the rational one and pull away because he couldn't—didn't want to be rational. He wanted her.

"We shouldn't," she mumbled, kissing him back.

"Mhmm." He hovered on top of her, still kissing her intensely. She was tugging up his t-shirt impatiently so he pulled away to get rid of it.

Beca rested her hands on his torso, catching her breath, running her hands, then pulled him down to her by his shoulders.

He went for her neck, (He wasn't thinking right but no way he was going to let it be a quickie and with the impatient way she was kissing him he knew he had to hit the brakes and take it slow. ), and he heard a small giggle from Beca when he began to place kisses. She reached for his hand and put it on her belly. "You have no idea how funny this feels," she told him as he moved his hand around, feeling their baby show off his karate chops.

Jesse grinned looking up to meet her gaze. He didn't know he could be more attracted to her. He wasn't sure it was possible to lust after her this badly. In a quick move, he helped her take off her t-shirt.

* * *

It was 1:45 am when Jesse glanced at the clock, he looked back at Beca and smiled hearing a happy sigh from her as she rested her head against his chest.

"We can't do this again," she mumbled sleepily.

He ran his fingers through his hair, feeling like a kid whose parents told him to not have any more cookies, devastated, sad, annoyed because he wanted more of her. Her body had been going through changes and he hadn't had enough of exploring her— he doubted he'd ever have enough. He squeezed her arm, reassuringly and nodded, "Okay." He pressed her against him and heard her hiss so he loosened his hold instantly.

"My boobs hurt," she weakly pushed him away from her. He chuckled despite feeling bad for her, it was partially his fault.

"Wanna spoon instead?" he asked, forcing the grin off his face when she glared at him.

"No, this is good." She paused, pushing herself up so that she could rest her head in the crook of his neck. "Just don't move, okay?" she said into his neck as she got in a comfortable position.

"Mhmm," he hummed back.

Jesse took a lock of her hair between his fingers and began playing it while she dozed off. He sniffed after yawning then sighed as he began to fall asleep as well.

* * *

"Jesse," Beca groaned in annoyance, "Jesse, turn it off," she mumbled.

Jesse frowned feeling Beca weakly pulling his hair as she demanded, "turn it off!"

He opened one eye, and clumsily reached for his ringing phone and grabbed it from the night stand—he wasn't sure what possessed him to make 30 Seconds To Mars' Kings and Queens is his ringtone. Right, because it's a dope-ass song!— He was about to hang up on whoever was calling him at 2:14 am, he looked at the caller ID and frowned seeing that it was Christina.

Knowing she might be in trouble because of her drinking problem, he decided to pick up, "Hello?" he throatily said.

" _Chimichanga?"_ Christina said.

"Yeah?"

There was a beat before she chuckled.

" _What's that song that goes like 'to the left to the left everything you own in a box to the left'_?" she slurred.

Jesse sighed before answering, "Irreplaceable by Beyoncé."

 _"Right."_ She paused. _"Is there a song you don't know, Chimichanga?"_ she asked.

"Everyone knows Irreplaceable," he replied, rubbing his eyes with his free hand. "What's up? It's pretty late."

"Right." She cleared her throat. "So, I think in the Garden State," she slurred doing her best New Jersey accent.

"Wait, what?" He ran his fingers through his hair. "You think? So, do don't know where you are exactly?" he asked and watched Beca place a finger on his lips too lazy to tell him to lower his voice.

 _"I left with a dude,"_ she hiccuped. _"His place stunk so I got out when he went to the bathroom,"_ she told him. _"I thought I was calling someone else, sorry, go back to sleep."_

"No, wait," he said louder than he intended and heard Beca mumble his name in annoyance. "Who were you trying to call?" he asked in a low voice. In the time he had known her, she never mentioned any close friend.

 _"Nobody,"_ she laughed, _"they should disconnect the number."_ He heard her say and figured she was thinking out loud.

"Go on Google Maps, you have the app right?"

 _"Uh-huh."_

"Good. Now, go on Google Maps and find out your location then text it to me, okay?" he told her. "You think you could do that?"

 _"Yeah, I got it,"_ she said.

"Do not move until I come and get you."

Jesse ran his hand over his face after hanging up. He looked down at Beca and placed a kiss on her hair.

"Wear a beanie and wrap a scarf around your neck, it's pretty cold out," Beca said pulling her head back. "Take some sweater for her from my closet in case she needs it," she added distancing herself from him and holding on to the duvet that wasn't as comfy or warm as Jesse.

Her thoughtfulness made him crack a smile. He leaned down and placed a kiss on her shoulder before climbing off the bed and collecting his clothes to wear.

* * *

 **AN:** Thank you for reading. A review to know what you thought of this would be great. I know it might seem pretty complicated but I promise you that it'll get less complicated in future chapters. I can't promise you when because I'm super busy.


	14. Chapter 13

**The next morning,**

Jesse was sitting on a chair at the kitchen table. His back hurt from sitting. His eyes hurt from lack of sleep. He was exhausted. He looked at his watch then pushed his seat back and got up seeing that it was 7:20 am. He poured a mug of coffee from the freshly brewed coffee and rubbed his neck as he walked to the living area. He cleared his throat then put the mug of coffee on the coffee table before he shook Christina's shoulder.

She groaned in response.

He shook her again, "C'mon, you need to wake up," he said in a hoarse voice.

He kept shaking her until she gave up on sleep and sat up. Christina held her head and coughed. "What happened?" she curtly asked.

"You called, piss drunk, by mistake. You were lost." He paused, handing her the mug then sitting next to her. "I found you asleep on the sidewalk in Hudson county. I couldn't find the keys to your apartment so I brought you here." He sighed leaning against the couch.

He spent the night up. He couldn't go back to sleep and risk not waking up when he set the alarm clock to wake Christina up and send her home before Nicole woke up.

"When I go out clubbing I just take money with me to pay for drinks." She cleared her throat while massaging her neck.

"You mean when you go out planning on drinking yourself into oblivion?" He got up, leaving her in the living area to go and get her something for her sore throat.

"Thanks," Christina said as she accepted a pill container Jesse handed her. She took a few pills then chugged down the coffee in one breath.

"I owe you one." She stumbled getting up.

"Where's my phone?" she asked, rubbing her temples.

"The battery was drained so I put it to charge up." Jesse walked to the TV and bent to unplug her phone that he put on the floor while it charged.

Christina accepted her phone and grimaced going through it. "I drunk dialed uncle Gerald," she groaned after a beat.

Jesse had no idea who that was, he kept eyeing her until she looked up. "My godfather," she told him. He nodded.

"Now, he's gonna get mad at me for breaking the promise I made him," she huffed rubbing her forehead. "Fuck!" She brought her phone to her ear to listen to her voicemail.

Jesse watched her as she closed her eyes listening to the voicemail then shook her head.

"Is everything okay?"

Jesse tilted his head hearing Beca's sleepy voice. He had to smile at the sight of her. She looked quite adorable in the Deadpool t-shirt, his t-shirt that he hadn't seen in ages, she was wearing.

(He wondered how many of his lost t-shirts were in her closet.)

Jesse shrugged when Beca met his gaze. He really had no idea.

Beca walked up to them and stood next to Jesse while she rubbed her eye.

"What are you doing up early?" Jesse asked her.

"I forgot to turn off the alarm clock on my phone," she yawned then looked at Christina who was fumbling with her phone and had yet to acknowledge her.

"Christina?" Jesse called then poked her shoulder to get her attention.

She looked up.

"What's wrong?" he asked.

"I fucked up big time that's what's wrong," she chuckled humorlessly and coughed.

Hearing a door get unlocked, Beca tilted her head and saw her mother step out of the guestroom. _Awesome timing._

Nicole stood in the doorway when she saw them standing in the living area and arched an eyebrow.

Beca quickly found a lie and turned on her heels, walking to her laptop bag, that she left on the coffee table, pulling a folder.

"Morning, mom," she glanced at her mother before she walked back to where Christina and Jesse were standing. Jesse was running a hand over his face, she gave him a reassuring nod seeing that he was obviously working something to tell her mother.

"Um, just drop this off asap," Beca nudged Christina with the folder. Christina looked up from her phone and had a confused look on her face but she took the folder when Beca mouthed _'take it.'_

"My assistant," Beca said as she looked at her mother. Her mom nodded and walked into the bathroom.

"Nice save, Bec," Jesse said, impressed.

She shrugged: if there was someone to take credit it would be Matt for nagging her about getting an assistant.

"Thank you, Jesse," Christina thanked Jesse, calling him by his actual name which she never did, then tilted her head to look at Beca. She frowned when she took a good look at her. "You're the one that drove me to the hospital, aren't you?" she hesitantly asked. Beca nodded.

Christina was about to say something then her phone vibrated. "I should leave," she said as she eyed her phone. Looking up she gave Beca the folder and paced out of the apartment.

"What's up with her?" Beca asked once Christina locked the door behind her.

"Something about a promise to her Godfather?" Jesse shrugged. "Mornin', Joseph," he said bending to get on eye level with her belly. He placed a kiss, "it's daddy talkin' in case you can't tell."

Beca rolled her eyes at his dorkiness and watched him straighten up then rest his palms on belly feeling it. "He can totally tell it's me," he grinned when their baby started kicking.

" _Totally_ ," she nodded and stepped away from him because she _totally_ knew why their kid was kicking: she wanted to drag Jesse to her bedroom and spend the whole day in bed either sleeping or screwing his brains out.

She walked to the coffee table and put the folder back inside the bag before she turned on her heels, wondering how in the hell she was going to keep her shit together.

 _Chloe_ — Beca suddenly had an idea, she could feel the fucking light bulb over her head. Chloe was the voice of reason since the one she supposed to have in her head took a vaycay.

"Bec, should I start making breakfast?" Jesse wondered watching Beca make her way to her bedroom.

"Mhm." He heard her acknowledge him as she stepped inside her bedroom.

"Okay," Jesse rubbed the back of his neck.

* * *

 _"Beca?"_ Chloe sleepily said picking up.

"Chloe," Beca carefully took a seat on the bed.

 _"Beca, is everything okay? Why are you calling me at five in the morning?"_

"Shit, I forgot about the time difference," Beca said in realization.

 _"It's fine. What do you want to talk about?"_ Chloe asked sounding more awake.

"I slept with Jesse last night," she told her friend and let it sink in first. "And I want it to happen again."

Beca heard Chloe sigh.

 _"Beca, as long as you're living under the same roof as him it's inevitable to end up in bed with him."_ Chloe paused to yawn. _"In the time you spend Jesse-free—"_ Beca had to roll her eyes at her friend's choice of words— _"did you come any close to making up your mind? Do you know what you want out of dating him?"_

Beca didn't answer.

 _"Jesus, Beca, how hard is it to decide whether you see yourself in the long run with him or not?"_

"A lot." Beca paused. "He does all sort of things that drive me crazy."

 _"So what he drives you crazy? I lost count of the number of times I wanted to murder Tom... nothing, go back to bed,"_ Chloe said. Beca figured the last part was to Tom who woke because of their conversation over the phone. _"You just make peace with the pet peeves, Bec."_

"So, you're saying I should make peace with the way he takes me for granted, how he and I stopped moving forward, how he just stopped caring like he used—"

 _"Beca, stop,"_ Chloe interrupted. _"You know that's not what I meant. I still think you should try to work out your problems instead of what you chose to do."_ Chloe dramatically sighed. _"How's the house hunting going?"_

"I'm closing in on a place. It should be mine in two weeks time."

 _"Well, you gonna have to try and stay away from him until you move out."_

"I don't think I can do it," Beca shrugged.

 _"Get back with your boyfriend and work on solving your issues together."_

"I wanna do it solo."

 _"Solo isn't always the answer... unless you mean Han Solo then yeah, that guy is the answer, he's pretty hot."_

"Chloe, focus."

 _"Right."_ Chloe paused. _"Beca, just take a moment to think about how your life would be like without Jesse, okay? And don't think about the baby, just think about Jesse and your relationship."_

Beca blew a breath thinking. Life without his casual outburst into song nor his annoying chipper self? Okay, he was more than that, so she dug a little deeper... Life without his constant support: the dude is her rock, she counted on him. Not to say that they were in a co-dependent relationship, he just knew how to make her feel better and figure out shit and she did the same for him.

Life wouldn't be the same without him by her side. He was a part of her life. A piece to the puzzle that it is herself.

"It wouldn't be the same," she mumbled her reply. "Life wouldn't be the same without him."

 _"Then what are you doing taking a break from him, Beca? Take your man back and work on your problems together. And preferably fix them before your baby arrives next spring."_

Beca held her tongue when she caught herself about to blur out her illness to Chloe.

"Chloe, he's really lazy about this sort of things. You don't know him like I do. If I tell him I want to try to work it out, he'll agree and not do anything. It's how he rolls. He doesn't like losing but doesn't work on getting what he wants either."

She distinctly remembered him telling him how he was going to win her back in Benji and Emily's rehearsal dinner when she was high on edible and guess what? It's been a month since Benji and Emily tied the knot and he didn't do anything.

 _"Well if you want it to work, you make it work. Have you told him about how shitty his way of rolling is?"_

"He knows."

Of course, he knew of his flaws, yet he didn't try to change his ways.

 _"Beca, what do you want to hear me say?"_ Chloe said sounding a little defeated.

"What you think I should do." Beca brought her fingers to her mouth and began biting her nails, she knew what Chloe wanted her to do and had been fighting it because she knew part of her just wanted to get back with Jesse and continue to ignore the elephant in the room by default.

Her illness and the stress and anxiety it brought her made her vulnerable and she just needed him to be her rock and comfort her the ways he knew.

 _"This break of yours hasn't been helpful, has it?"_

Beca didn't answer because she could hear the rhetorical tone. The one thing that she figured out from her break from Jesse was that she still loved him and wanted to be with him, despite how annoying he could get.

 _"It's not your only option. Take him back and work on fixing things, Beca. He's lazy. Easy, be pushy."_

Beca inhaled deeply as she nodded then exhaled, "okay."

* * *

"I thought you went back to bed," Jesse said from his spot behind the kitchen island. He was cracking an egg into a bowl when Beca walked into the kitchen.

"No, I just had to use the bathroom," she lied, walking up to him. Standing next to him, she looked into the bowl. "Pancakes?"

He nodded his head and reached for a whisk then began mixing the batter.

"So, about last night—"

"—not gonna happen again, I know," Jesse interrupted her while he eyed the bowl. "I'm sorry, I messed up. I should have resisted you. I should have known better." He put the bowl down.

Looking up, he met her gaze. She was anxious, he could tell. He tilted his head slightly, questionably. She moved closer to him and tiptoed to kiss him gently.

He got confused for a second then cupped her cheek and kissed her back. His other hand made its way to the small of her back, pulling her even closer to him as they shared a kiss. He had no idea what she wanted—which wasn't new, really.— if she was trying to tell him something he was totally missing it. There was no fire like the night before—don't get him wrong, kissing her felt amazing and made him feel all warm and he still felt _that_ weird feeling in his stomach... A different kind of fire. One that didn't involve lust.

"Ahem," Nicole cleared her throat, breaking them apart.

Beca wiped her mouth with the back of her hand and looked away from Jesse. He tilted his head to Nicole and smiled tightly, "good morning."

She nodded and walked further into the kitchen. "Your dad texted," Nicole said meeting Beca's gaze. "He's asking if _we_ 'd join them for brunch."

"Um, okay," Beca shrugged. It was a little weird to see how her dysfunctional family was _pretty_ functional, or better yet was _trying_ to be functional. "Brunch sounds like fun." She glanced at Jesse who just nodded understanding that the 'we' didn't include him. He was thrilled because he really wanted to have some sleep.

Jesse looked between them then grabbed the bowl and resumed mixing the batter. Beca turned to the fridge then opened it and kept looking inside it to give herself to think. She needed to talk to Jesse but her mother's presence was a real inconvenience. She could tell he was confused as fuck and needed some insight on what she just did.

She grabbed the whipped cream can and shut the door, figuring she'd just postpone talking with Jesse 'til her family was out of town. Surely, they could sit on it for a few hours, right?!

Jesse glanced at her and opened the shelve he knew she was going to head to next, pulling a pack of crackers that was in it.

"Thanks." She took it from him.

"What are you doing?" Nicole asked in amusement.

"I just thought I'd try and see what it will taste like," Beca said with a shrug as she put whipped cream on a cracker and brought it to her mouth. She made one for Jesse too because he always wanted to try out whatever she was eating. As his hands were full, he leaned in so that she could feed it to him.

* * *

 _ **A few hours later.**_

The restaurant they picked was close to where Beca lived so she and her mother chose to walk to it instead of taking her car. It was cold, like, see-your-breath-whenever-you-speak cold. But there was no rain and no WIND.

They had been walking for a good five minute in silence. Beca was debating whether or not she should bring up how she didn't buy it when her mom denied the fact they had some genetic illness in the family or just leave it since it wouldn't really matter unless she wanted to have another kid—it was very unlikely but you never know.

"Funny how the bed in the guest room smells an awful lot like Jesse's deodorant," Nicole suddenly said breaking the silence.

Beca looked up and clenched her jaw because she fucking told Jesse to change the fucking sheets.

"We weren't talking," Beca lied. "We're good now," she assured her mother.

"Yeah?" she suspiciously eyed her daughter.

"Uh-huh," Beca nodded. "He just pissed me off and asked him to give a minute which turned into an hour which turned into a few days," she found herself sharing with her mom, slipping some truth into her words.

"What did he do? Is he treating you differently?"

Beca rolled her eyes, because, of course, her mother would assume he'd be that asshole who would become a breathing piece of shit to his pregnant girlfriend because he didn't want a kid. Beca didn't doubt a second catching her cynism from her mother.

"No, mom, he's not treating me _differently_ ," she sighed. "I've been stressed out and he keeps doing stuff that annoys the fuck out of me and didn't seem to see it." She shrugged looking up to meet her mother's gaze.

"And he does now?"

Beca didn't want to insult her mother by lying to her face, lying while she looked at, who she assumed was, a Wallstreet banker that crossed the street while he yelled into his phone to some poor soul was easier. Besides, her mother furrowed her brow knowingly, there was no point in lying.

"Have you considered couple's therapy?"

Again, Beca found herself rolling her eyes. She really appreciated the fact that her mother was trying to help but it was hard not to snicker at the suggestion especially when it's from a woman who blew the one relationship that truly meant something to her because she cared about her career more.

"Isn't that for married couples who can't stand each other and are both cheating but it's like a mandatory step before one of them said _'fuck it, they can keep the house in the settlement!'_ and filed for divorce?"

"No."

 _Shit_ —Beca thought. She forgot her parents tried couple's therapy at some point before her father just gave up trying and left.

"It doesn't have to always end in divorce, or a breakup in your case," her mom sighed.

Beca nodded and smiled back when a friendly old man smiled at her. She would have wondered if he was mentally stable if it weren't for the fact that she was showing a pretty damn cute baby bump that made people usually really nice to her.

As long as the stranger didn't make a weird remark nor came near her she was content. Also, it was refreshing to lock eyes with a New Yorker who isn't grumpy or in a hurry or both.

"Bec, there's this thing that runs in our family," her mother began to say. _Here we go._

Beca arched an eyebrow at the look her mother's face once she went quiet.

"Check your blood pressure once in a while, okay?" Nicole mumbled.

"I have it, mom," Beca sighed. "The pre-something condition, I developed it." She paused taking in her mother reaction. "Don't worry, I got it under control-ish."

"What do you mean by that? What's under control-ish supposed to mean?"

"My blood pressure is low and, as long as I keep taking drugs for it, it will stay that way. I'm taking something for the protein leaking thingy but my doc told me it won't control it like the meds for blood pressure. It's under control-ish." She let out a breath she didn't realize she was holding because she finially told someone she's sick.

"You haven't told Jesse about this, have you?" Nicole narrowed her eyes.

 _How did you know?_ — Beca wondered but didn't voice her question.

"Beca, you're my daughter," her mother answered reading the question from the look in Beca's eyes. "You don't want him to worry." She paused for a beat. "It's his PTSD thing, isn't it?"

"More or less." Beca shrugged. No, she hadn't thought her illness that threatened her son's existence could trigger the post trauma stress disorder Jesse suffered from when he and his pregnant ex-wife got into a car accident while he was driving and caused a miscarriage. But now she was. _Thanks, mom._

"Don't keep it from him, Beca. If it triggers something, he could always go see a therapist. But, please, honey DON'T keep it from him."

"Relax, mom." Another thing she was sure she inherited from her mother: anxiety.

Her mom shook her head, "you don't understand, if it goes bad and..." she trailed off. "it won't be the same."

"Mom, is there something I should know about?" Beca asked.

Her mother was freaking out and gave her 'Im speaking from experience' vibes. It was confusing because Preeclampsia didn't screw it up for her when she was still in her mother's womb, you know, 'cause she's alive and all.

"Um," her mother rubbed her forehead. "Before we had you, your dad got me pregnant."

Beca arched her eyebrows in surprise but refrained from interrupting her mother.

"He'd just started grad school when I found out. And, by the time, I found out I had developed _it_ he was really busy with school and figured he didn't need to know. Besides, your aunt had Sean and was diagnosed with _it,_ which was a little reassuring. We lost the baby. I didn't see a reason I'd tell him and he didn't even notice that something was wrong and it was never the same. We eventually had _you_ 'cause I thought that it was what our relationship was missing." She sighed.

"So, it's my fault?" Beca asked noting her mother's tone that clearly said she wasn't what they needed.

"Oh, god no," she exclaimed, "you weren't the problem. I was the problem. And, I made the mistake of using work as a way of dealing." She paused and didn't have to keep going because Beca knew the rest.

They stayed in a comfortable silence: Beca processing what her mother had told her while the older woman took a stroll down memory lane.

"What was the baby?" Beca asked after a while.

"A boy." A ghost of a smile crept on Nicole's face after answering.

Beca nodded smiling a little because she wouldn't have hated having an older brother.

"Tell him, Beca," she said. "I know you think that it's fine if doesn't know but it really isn't. He really has to know."

Beca nodded choosing not to say anything back. Beca was planning on asking advice from her dad when she asked him to come to NYC for thanksgiving but she ended up getting advice from her mother instead and it was enough.

She knew he had to know and given the fact that she going to ask if they could get back together and work on their problems ie. she wouldn't have to worry about how he'd very likely go insane not being around once she moved into the penthouse.

* * *

 _ **Later that day,**_

Beca was getting some work done while she ate some of the cookies she baked with her mother. Her family had long left New York. It was just her and Bender in the apartment. She glanced up from her laptop to watch Bender chew his toy. She kind of hated the toy because of the squeaky sound it made but it made the dog happy so she learned to tolerate it. It made her wonder if she'd learn to tolerate how annoying Jesse could get. She chuckled for thinking of how the squeaky toy was a metaphor to her situation— _rediculous but kinda true._ Beca shook her head and looked back at her laptop only to look away again when Jesse unlocked the front door. Seeing him got their son to start kicking, reacting to her anxiety.

"Hey," he said tossing her car keys on the coffee table and missing the ashtray that shouldn't be in their apartment seeing that neither one of them smoked. (Beca put it and told him to put her car keys in when he'd borrow it because he always forgot where he put them.)

"So, I found out what's up with Christina," he said as he sat down on the couch and started taking off his jacket. "Her godfather happens to run her family business and he made her promise to quit drinking she broke the promise a bunch of time. He got mad at her and told her if she broke her sobriety he'd make sure she couldn't get a cent of her money. And guess what?"

"He cut her off?" Beca said in surprise. "He can't take her money away from her."

"He didn't take it away from her. She just won't get money until she gets her act together."

"Is she gonna knock it?"

"She said she's gotta. And, this guy," he pointed at himself, "is gonna help her _get it together_." He spoke with excitement and sang 'get it together' like they did in the song by beastie boys.

"That's nice," Beca smiled because his excitement was really adorable.

"Yeah, it is." He reached for the plate that still had a few cookies and grabbed one.

Beca closed the lid of her laptop and leaned forward with great difficulty to put it on the coffee table.

 _How do I start?_ — Beca wondered feeling the anxiety start to build up so figured she'd just start talking and figure out what to say as she went.

"Jesse," she started to say.

"Yes?" he mumbled as he stuffed the whole cookie into his mouth and kicked off his shoes.

"it's not working, um, the break thing isn't working. I don't wanna do it anymore." She looked up and wanted to laugh at how full how his mouth was when he stopped chewing but she was trying to have a serious conversation with him so no laughing.

"So, now what?" he mumbled, still not chewing.

"I thought we could, like, try to, like, figure it out together?" she managed to say and had to swallow when he didn't say anything back not did he resume chewing. She started to panic thinking he had actually started seeing Christina and she was messing it up for him or something.

"You're saying you want us to be together again?" he mumbled out his question.

"It's been over three months and I still have no fucking idea what I want, Jesse," she told him.

He nodded getting that she still wasn't sure about them.

"Where are you going?" she asked when he got up and left the living area.

He mumbled something incoherent. She frowned and watched him walk to the kitchen. She then heard him open the fridge then close before he was in her vision again.

He had a thoughtful look on his face and was drumming his fingers on the glass of milk he was holding. Also, he was finally chewing.

Jesse sat down next to her. He offered the milk. She shook her head. He chugged it down then put the glass on the coffee table.

Beca had subconsciously begun biting her nails as she watched him think and feeling like an idiot for thinking he'd say yes immediately.

"Is this why you kissed me this morning?" he asked. She nodded and begun bouncing her leg up and down.

"Makes sense," he thought out loud then sighed before looking up then scooting closer to her.

"What makes sense?" she wondered.

"It's been so long since you kissed me for no other reason than love," he said resting his hand on her leg to still it.

"So, you in?" she asked. If he was messing with her for the dramatic effect they _so_ weren't gonna get it on. (Debatable.)

He smiled, "of course, I'm in, Bec. I never wanted out. I—" She cut him off with a kiss. A cheesy romantic gross kiss.

* * *

 **AN:** There you have it. I hope you enjoyed it. Thanks so much for dropping by. Leave a word if you want. Peace out!


	15. Chapter 14

"Jesse?" Beca called once she heard Jesse walk out of the bathroom.

"Yes?" He peeked his head through the doorway.

"What's for dinner?" she asked as she typed on her phone.

"Well, what do you wanna eat for dinner?" he wondered.

"I don't know," she shrugged her shoulders.

"Okay, what haven't you eaten in a while and would like to eat?" he asked changing his strategy and began walking to the bed where she was laying.

She looked up and eyed him as he sat down next to her. "I haven't eaten anything from KFC in ages."

"Bec, KFC is super unhealthy."

"You asked," she shrugged and looked back at her phone.

He ran his finger through his hair and asked, "Would you like to have homemade fried chicken instead of KFC's for dinner?"

"Oh, make a fried chicken pizza!" She looked up.

"What? Fried chicken pizza is a thing?" he asked in confusion.

"Yeah. It's like pizza but instead of pizza dough you put fried chicken," she explained. "It's so good, Jesse."

"Why would anyone mess with the fundamentals of pizza?"

"Jesse, are you gonna make me fried chicken pizza or not?" she asked placing a hand on her belly subconsciously.

"Yeah, sure, I'll figure this abnormality out and make it," he shrugged pulling his phone to google how to make fried chicken pizza.

"Thanks," she thanked him and watched him nodded while eyeing his phone and walking out of the bedroom.

* * *

Beca answered e-mails for a while then the smell of food being cooked was a lot to handle so she decided to go see what was happening in the kitchen. Low music was playing while he hummed under his breath. She smiled knowing he was keeping it low for her sake.—after getting blood pressure meds her headaches stopped being as president as they once were and she told him that she was feeling fine yet he still kept it low anyway—

"Hey, Bec," Jesse said once he noticed her presence. "It's almost done. Eat this in the meantime," he told as he reached inside the fridge and pulled a bag of carrots.

"Thanks," she said accepting the carrots. She watched him put the fried chicken on a plate after it was done frying and ask, "what do you want as toppings?"

"Chef's choice," she mumbled. It was easier when she let him pick for her.

"Well, in the video I watched the chef put jalapeno, bacon, and cheese."

"Sounds good to me."

He nodded and turned to the fridge to pull the ingredients.

"How are things with Christina?" Beca asked out of curiosity.

"Not so good," he sighed. "Her landlord is gonna kick her out 'cause her lease is almost over and she doesn't have an income to pay her dues."

"That sucks, dude."

He nodded in agreement as he chopped bacon. Beca walked around the counter deciding to give him a hand.

"What are you doing?" he asked.

"I'm helping out," she looked around at the mess he made.

"No. I got it under control."

"Jess—"

"—nuh-uh." He blocked her way when she tried to walk past him and to the sink.

"Dude, we have a dishwasher, I'm just gonna load it."

"I'll load it later. I learned your way ages ago. I won't mess up." He paused. "C'mon, Bec, this right here is slowing the process of cooking and you wanna eat soon, don't you?"

She looked at him in disbelief then shook her head and gave in. He grinned and leaned in and placed a kiss on her head.

Beca went through more work e-mails while he cooked.

* * *

"Here you go," Jesse said placing the fried chicken pizza in front of her along with a glass of apple juice.

"Thanks," she thanked him then sighed eyeing the juice. "I don't know how you do it, man."

He looked at her and frowned. "How you willingly don't drink alcohol. I would kill for a pint of beer. Sweet brown beer." She sighed. "Or even the cheap shit you find at frat parties."

Jesse chuckled and said, "Bec, you're halfway through."

She nodded and grabbed the juice sipping from it.

"Wait, aren't you gonna eat?" she asked when he turned on his heels and began cleaning after himself.

"Yeah, I'm not going near that thing. It feels wrong like I'm cheating on pizza. Not doing it," he told her.

"Jesse, sometimes you say things that make me question your mental age."

"I stand by it. Not going near it." He shrugged.

Beca dived into the fried chicken pizza and made a mental note to have a blood pressure pill afterward because of salty it was.

"Stacie is gonna be teaching a semester at some college here in NYC," she informed him after a beat as she read the text Stacie sent her that consisted of a picture of a plane ticket to New York set to arrive in NYC on the 15th of December. "Says she's bored with working on a field. I say she has no one left to screw from work and wants new blood." Beca put her phone aside and reached for the glass of juice.

"Gross." He paused. "But good for her."

"Yeah," Beca agreed, stuffing her mouth with chicken. "Fuck, this is so good, Jesse, you have to try it," Beca moaned as she chewed.

"No," he shook his head in amusement.

"No, you're gonna eat," she disagreed and stepped off of the stool as she held a piece in her hand.

He shook his head and closed his mouth. He laughed when she tickled him with her free hand to get him to open his mouth.

"Jess, is this your idea of preparing me on how to get a baby to eat? 'Cause you're being a big baby right now."

"I said I won't eat this thing that calls itself a pizza," he laughed.

"It's fried chicken with toppings, not pizza," she shrugged and tried to shove into his mouth despite the fact that he was dodging her very well.

"When you put it that way, it doesn't sound so bad." He stopped resisting and let her feed it to him.

"Oh, good lord," he exclaimed as he chewed. "This is amazing, Bec," he said after swallowing and took another bite.

"I know it's great," she said biting from it as well.

"What?" Jesse frowned when she stopped chewing.

"Nothing," she shook her head swallowing. Her vision got pretty weird: she knew it was blood pressure related. She thought she was keeping it under control and her doctor told her she didn't have to change her diet, the meds were enough to keep her blood pressure low.

She held on to him with her free hand and tried to ignore the double vision. She knew that she got severe symptoms because her doctor told her to watch out for them so an impromptu check-up was in order.

Beca forced a smile when she saw how worried he seemed through her double vision and brought the chicken to his mouth. He hesitantly bit then watched her make her way to the stool she was sitting on while she held onto the counter.

He leaned against the counter facing her and ate with her in silence.

She was quiet and distance for the rest of the evening. He thought that things would go back to normal once they got back together but it wasn't the case. He wasn't even sure what normal was. Before she asked for a break, they were busy doing their thing individually. The break helped him realize how distant they became.

The one thing that changed since they got back together, a week ago, was the fact that they were having sex, a lot of sex and it was great. Other than that nothing really changed, she had loads of walls around her keeping him out and he wondered how he was going to get through her.

* * *

After dinner, Jesse stayed in the kitchen to clean it and feed Bender then made his way to the bedroom to find Beca curled up wearing earbuds. He couldn't tell if she was asleep or not.

He brushed his teeth and climbed on the bed, stirring her up. She removed an earbud and rubbed her eye.

"Did I wake you up?" he wondered apologetically.

She shook her head, "I wasn't sleeping." She paused, "Just resting my eyes." She smiled glad the double vision was finally gone.

He pressed her closer to him when she scooted his way and leaned against him using his chest as a pillow. "Hey, Bec?" Jesse called as he absent-mindedly stroked her hair.

She looked up.

"You're a homeowner," he said.

She was officially a homeowner and he didn't know what came next. Were they going to move in together into the penthouse? Was she going to stay in the apartment with him until they had the baby? Was she going to move out right away?

"Gonna have to start on getting Joe's room ready," she said avoiding the subject he was trying to bring up.

"Yeah," he gave her a small smile and placed a kiss on her forehead.

"Jess, we should live separately," she said after a beat deciding to just talk about it.

He looked at her in confusion and waited for elaboration.

"I mean, we stopped growing as a couple around the time we moved in together."

"So, you're saying we take a step back?" he wondered while rubbing her back.

She nodded.

"You move into the penthouse and I stay here?"

"I'll ask Stacie to move with me since she's gonna be living here for a few months," she told him knowing he'd feel better knowing she wouldn't be living alone.

He nodded as he thought about it. She cupped his cheek and rubbed her thumb against his cheekbone.

"I feel it, too, you know," Jesse sighed tilting his head to place a kiss on her palm, "I feel how far you are, Bec. I can't believe I couldn't see how we've become." He paused for a moment. "I want you back so bad, Becs." He rested his forehead against hers and closed his eyes.

She wanted to tell him, then, about her illness, she had been preparing how to bring it up for a while but couldn't do it.

"I'm here, Jesse," she said instead.

He shook his head."I want _my_ Beca back."

Beca continued to rub her thumb against his cheek then kissed him tenderly. She knew what he meant. They grew apart and he was finally admitting it.

"Baby steps," she said against his lips and he nodded then wrapped her in his arms kissing her as he held her close to him.

"Jesse, my feet are cold," she complained to him after a while silence.

Jesse lifted his sweatpants exposing his shins.

"Can you even feel your feet?" Jesse mumbled after letting her put her feet between his legs in an attempt to wram her up.

"Yes. THEY'RE ICE COLD!"

"Ice ice, baby," he sang under his breath and got elbowed. "You're supposed to say 'Vanilla'," Jesse said as he rubbed the rib she elbowed.

"Help me warm my feet and I'll fucking sing the song to you." She rubbed one of her feet against his leg trying to catch some of the heat.

"You need to get blood circulating, Bec," he told her as if she didn't already know. "You're always using your car to get around."

"I try to walk around the city but it's so fucking cold." She shrugged. "And, need I remind of this guy?" She grabbed his hand and placed it on her belly. "I walk more than a couple of miles and my body starts to ache."

"How tired are you now, Bec?" Jesse asked pulling his head back.

"You must be out of your mind if you think I'm going to go walk around in the middle of the night in fucking December," she told him.

He rolled his eyes. "Are you too tired for sex?" he rephrased his question. Sex will get her blood circulating all right.

She took a moment to think then shook her head. "If I fall asleep while we're at it, though, don't take it personally," she joked.

He chuckled, "I hope you know all the words to ice ice baby." Jesse hovered on top of her and grinned when she cupped his face pulling him into a deep kiss.

"Jesse," Beca mumbled when Jesse's cell phone started ringing and he didn't acknowledge. They were in the middle of something but it could be important.

"They can... call later... or leave a message," Jesse mumbled as they kissed.

He gave her puppy dog eye when she pulled away and cupped his face, "you're sponsoring someone," she reminded him.

He sighed knowing she had a point. Jesse reached for his phone and picked up seeing that it was Christina. "Hey, Christina." He sat up when Beca pushed him to get up. He shook his head in question and she nodded at the bathroom.

Beca knew next to nothing when it came to sponsoring but knew she shouldn't hear the conversation between an addict and their sponsor, shit was too personal, and addicts were often on the vulnerable and fragile side. Beca knew that much to respect the privacy.

" _I know it's late, but you said to call you whenever, right?_ " Christina anxiously said.

"Yeah, what's up?" he rubbed his face with his free hand.

Beca closed the door behind her and stayed in the bathroom for a while after peeing just to make sure she wouldn't eavesdrop on their conversation. When she stepped out of the bathroom Jesse was sitting Indian style on the bed thinking.

"Is everything okay?"

He nodded his head and rubbing his face. "I mean, I think."

"Cool," Beca said climbing on the bed. She rubbed his back and watched him tilted his head to look at her. "Jesse, if you think she needs you go see her," Beca said and managed to sound casual.

Jesse shook his head.

What?" Beca arched an eyebrow at the spark she saw in his eyes and knowing it meant a brilliant idea just struck him.

"Bec, aren't you supposed to have an assistant?"

"Um, yeah. The position is there but I don't need an assistant, therefore there's no need to waste the branch's money."

"What are the odds of you hiring Christina to work for you?" Jesse asked.

"I said I don't need an assistant, Jesse."

"I heard you," he nodded. "But she really needs a job, Bec." He paused. "Just have her get you lunch and stuff." He shrugged.

"And would I have new interns do?"

Jesse scratched his head and sighed.

"How bad is it?" Beca asked after a beat.

"Pretty bad. And, she either has a lot of pride or no one to turn to," he shrugged. Beca grabbed her phone checked her schedule then said, "Tell her to come in on Thursday at 2:15 pm and bring her résumé." She looked up from her phone.

"Thanks, Bec."

"She still has to interview for the job, you know?" She put her phone back on the nightstand. He rolled his eyes then uncrossed his legs and reached with his barefoot to touch hers. "Ugh, does it hurt when you walk?" he asked rubbing his much warmer foot against her ridiculously cold one.

"Honestly, in comparison with the pregnancy related aches my feet's condition sucks the least," she sighed.

"We should fix it, through." He pulled his foot away and watched Beca get under the duvet. He jumped right after her and quickly hovered on top of her.

"You're _so_ eager to offer your assistance, aren't you?" she asked in amusement.

He rapidly nodded. "Being helpful is what I live for."

She snickered at his words.

"I'm serious," he said and leaned in to place a kiss behind her ear. "I was offered a job to be a professional helper."

"Like a life coach?" she interrupted.

"No," he mumbled as he made his way down to her neck.

"A shrink then?" she smiled when he sighed against her neck.

"No."

"Oh, I got it. A prostitute," she guessed getting him to chuckle.

"Shut up, would you?" he pulled his head back from her neck. "A professional helper offers help to those rich folks we see on TV like on Downtown Abby, people who need help accomplishing the smallest tasks."

"So like a butler?" she bit the inside of her cheek at the look he gave for ruining his attempt at making a joke.

"Anyway," he said. "I didn't take the job because I really love doing things for free." He paused. "Besides, it would be weird to take money for sex," he casually added making her laugh. He smiled because his goal was to get her to laugh. She tried to ruin it but he got her to laugh eventually.

"It would be prostitution," Beca shrugged.

"Okay, enough talking," Jesse decided.

"No, I wanna know about the sex thing," she tugged at his t-shirt.

"I shouldn't have said that," he shook his head in phony regret. He grinned when she playfully slapped him.

"Hey, let's role play," she suggested.

"Okay," he stretched out the word in surprise. The last time they did role play was on her 30th birthday, which was a couple of years ago, and hearing her casually suggest it caught him off guard. "What do you have in mind?" he wondered and watched a smirk form on her lips.

"You be a prostitute on his first day and I'll be an intimidating and hard to please client."

"Okay," Jesse pecked her lips. "Let's do this," he grinned knowing her suggestion was a step getting _his_ Beca back.

* * *

 _ **Thursday,**_

Beca was in her office. She was going through some music sheets. She usually wouldn't get involved in the work once she assigned who would work with whom but she made an exception because she gave an intern a shot to impress her.

Hearing a knock on the door she said, "Come on in," in a loud enough voice. Beca looked up once the door got unlocked and smiled seeing that it was Christina.

The hiring manager was surprised when Beca told him she was going to interview Christina herself. She wanted to do it herself for no other reason than the fact the job title had the word personal in the mix. The woman was going to be her personal assistant. The hiring manager had no business interviewing her future PA.

"Hi," Beca said and sat up and put the sheets she was reading on her desk.

They shook hands briefly.

"Please, take a seat," Beca gestured at the chairs facing her desk.

"Thank you," Christina said.

Beca could sense the nervousness in the woman who sat across from her. She accepted the résumé from her and put it in front of her.

"So," Beca paused. "Tell me about yourself."

"Well, I'm Christina Reyes. I worked as a recruiter and I'm currently between jobs. My years in recruiting have taught me a lot of useful skills such as time management and multitasking ability and speed along with knowledge in IT and social media that would be of utility in this job."

Beca nodded and looked down at the résumé she read the first thing that caught her attention and said in surprise, "You have a PhD in finance from Yale."

"Yep," Christina nodded.

"You're ridiculously overqualified for this position, Ms. Reyes."

"I am well aware of that."

"Hold on," Beca frowned as she eyed the résumé. "Why haven't used your degree to get a job, like, ever?"

"I got the degree because my parents wanted me to. They paid for the tuition so I got the degree," Christina shrugged. "Not a big fan of finance to be honest."

"Headhunter," Beca said, using the informal title of a recruiter, and looked from the paper. "I assume being persuasive is one of your skills as well."

"Manipulative is more accurate," Christina joked.

"Why should I hire you?" Beca folded her hands resting them on her belly as she leaned against her seat. She wanted to see how the headhunter would manipulate her into giving her the job.

"Why shouldn't you?" Christina asked back. If Beca didn't know better she'd buy the front the woman in front of her was putting. It was a good front but Beca could tell that Christina was barely holding it together. Her body language was enough to notice the struggle.

"You prefer to work behind the scenes but you can't avoid the scene. I can very easily handle the stuff you avoid. Take care of your social media for you so that you won't get bad press for ignoring the press."

Beca kept a stoic expression but she was impressed by the fact that Christina did her homework. The job was below her and she pulled the effort to do her research.

"I worked in the "people's business" I know people. I dealt with all kinds of people and I know how to handle a problem. I mean, unless you're gonna Devil wears Prada me, I can solve whatever problem you throw at me."

Beca heard of the movie but hadn't seen it so she made a mental note to ask Jesse later about it.

"What do you consider your greatest strength?"

"I believe it's reliability," Christina curtly said.

"And your greatest weakness?" Beca asked and made sure to keep eye contact. She knew the answer but wanted to see how Christina would handle it.

Christina chuckled and clenched her fist and didn't break eye contact. "I have an addictive personality," she said in amusement. "I tend to get a little too obsessive over certain things. I'm trying to fix this issue."

Beca nodded, greatly appreciating the self-awareness and overall cleverness of the answer.

"Well, Ms. Reyes, do you have any questions you'd like to ask me?" Beca asked deciding that she didn't need to ask any further.

"Yes. Can you tell me exactly what I would be expected to do if I were hired for this position?"

Beca had a feeling the question had something to do with the movie reference she didn't get. "Nothing crazy," Beca answered because she didn't really know what her PA was supposed to do. "I'm a bit of a control freak I like to do everything myself so I just expect you to arrange my traveling and visa stuff if it's an overseas trip and remind me of my meetings and blow people off for me when I don't want to meet them. Working overtime is very possible."

"Okay," Christina nodded.

"Anything else?" Beca wondered.

"No," Christina gave her a small smile.

"Well, then," Beca started to say. "I guess I should figure Twitter and Instagram now, huh?"

"Pardon?"

"To get the media to stop talking about how I'm closed off? Be more approachable? Work on my image a little?" Beca sighed recalling some of the stuff she read about herself in magazines.

"Wait, did I get the job?" Christina asked in surprise.

"Yeah, you can start tomorrow." Beca got up and reached out her hand to shake Christina's.

"I look forward to working with you."

Christina shook her hands while she held her hand tightly and Beca guessed it was to hide the shakiness.


	16. Chapter 15

"I don't get it," Stacie said as she finished applying makeup.

"Huh?" Beca looked up from her laptop.

"I don't get what you and Jesse are doing," Stacie shrugged stepping into the room. "I mean, are you dating? Are you just fuckin' around? Are going to get married?" she wondered while wearing her boots.

"Well, for now, we're just trying figure things out," Beca sighed.

"Whatever the fuck that mean," Stacie murmured and Beca heard her.

"We're seeing each other but not exclusively anymore," she told her friend.

"So, you two _have been_ seeing other people?" Stacie wondered in surprise.

"I'm not seeing anyone. I don't know about Jesse. But we talked about it, we're not exclusive he can fuck whoever he likes."

Stacie nodded.

"This is cute," Beca mumbled eyeing the Christmas baby outfit on the web page she clicked on.

"Buy it," Stacie said after walking to the bed and peeking into the laptop screen.

Beca shook her head. "Bought him a shit load of clothes already."

"It is never enough when it comes baby clothes everyone knows that."

"Must have missed that one." Beca closed the clothes tab and went back to her work e-mails.

"Please keep it low if you bring someone home later," Beca said to her friend who was shrugging on her coat.

"Call me if you need anything," Stacie said over her shoulders completely ignoring what Beca said.

"Okay," Beca sighed and loaded the baby clothes page deciding to just buy the outfit and ended up ordering more clothes than she should have.

Beca eventually emptied the cart and closed her laptop because it was just too many clothes. "I buy him stuff when he's born," she thought out loud and got out of bed.

She huffed not knowing if she wanted to eat or pee first then decided on the latter.

It had been almost a week since she had moved into the penthouse. She hired a moving company to move her belongings from self-storage unit—'cause after moving together, they couldn't both put their furniture in the apartment— and bought all the electronic stuff she needed as an adult then moved into her new home.

She felt homesick and wanted to be with Jesse at their apartment—it was still hers too because they leased it together—but knew that feeling homesick was normal after living with Jesse for a year, she just had to wait for the feeling to go away.

Stacie was the main reason Beca moved into the penthouse so soon. She used her friend as an excuse to sack up and stop pushing it back.

Beca went to the kitchen to make herself something to eat and found herself biting her nails as she stared at her phone while waiting for the soup to heat up. She wanted to call Jesse. She wanted to ask if he could come over. She shook her head and put her phone on the kitchen island and ran her fingers through her hair. "What am I, a highschooler?" she murmured as she walked to the microwave to get the soup.

* * *

Beca was eating and talking herself into liking the soup she was eating when her phone chimed with a text. She grabbed her phone and unlock it to answer when she found a text from Jesse that read: ' **I made too much banana bread can I bring you some?** '

Beca: **'Yes.'**

Jesse: **'Well, it's better eaten fresh.'**

Beca smiled reading his text.

Beca: **'I don't stay up late. Hurry up.'**

Jesse: **'I'm on my way!'**

Beca sucked her teeth putting her phone down and sighed wondering if she should wear something nice and maybe wear some "natural" makeup for Jesse. They had been dating for so long she felt comfortable enough around him—he saw her on her worst days— and didn't need to look pretty all the time. But given their current situation, which oddly felt like early stages of seeing someone, she figured she should pull the effort.

And, so she pulled some effort and wore enough makeup she didn't look sick but the sweatpants and oversized sweatshirt stayed.

* * *

"Hi," Jesse grinned when he step out of the elevator and inside the penthouse found Beca waiting for him.

"Hi."

"Here you go," he said after pulling the banana bread from his back bag.

"Thanks," she thanked him, accepting it from him.

"Stacie went out?" he wondered as he shrugged off his coat and followed her.

"Yeah," Beca said over her shoulder.

Jesse nodded and put his coat on the coach before he took his beanie and gloves while walking to the kitchen where Beca was. He put the beanie and gloves on the kitchen island.

"I was making tea before you rung the bell," Beca told him. "Want a mug?" she asked.

"Yeah, sure," he smiled when she tilted her head.

"Here you go," she said handing him a mug.

He took a sip then look at some boxes that still had to be unpacked.

"What are those?" he asked.

"Some stuff mom sent. Says that I should keep my stuff since I own a home now," Beca told him as she added sugar to her mug of tea.

"What stuff?" he wondered and took a sip.

"Mainly pictures." She cut some bread to eat. "Stuff from my childhood." Beca walked to the couch and took a seat.

Jesse was digging into a box in mere seconds. He pulled an album. "Aw, Becs, you were adorable," he said as he flipped through the album.

"I wouldn't be jealous if Joseph looked anything like this when he turns Three?" He tapped his finger on the picture he was talking about.

"Five," she corrected after glancing at the picture he pointed at. "And be jealous of what exactly?" she asked.

"Jealous that he'd look more like you," he shrugged. "I mean I really want him to look like you but still want him to look like me."

"Uh-huh," she nodded as she ate at a slow pace while processing his words. He put the album back inside the box and walked to his back bag.

"I saw this bodysuit on my way here and couldn't resist buying it," Jesse said as he pulled a baby bodysuit that had a mistletoe printed on it from his back bag.

"Whatcha think?" he asked as he held it for her to see.

"Cute," she smiled.

He walked to the couch and leaned over. "Bec, doesn't this mean we have to kiss now?" he asked playing dumb.

She looked up and saw how he was holding the bodysuit over her head in a way the printed mistletoe was facing down.

"Nope," she answered tossing some bread into her mouth.

"I think it does," he disagreed as he leaned in.

"Dude, I'm eating," Beca mumbled. He sighed and placed a small peck on her forehead.

Jesse grabbed his mug and sat down next to her.

"This is good, Jesse," Beca told him.

"Want more?" he asked noting the fact that she had already finished.

"No, I'm gonna have the rest for breakfast," she said.

He rested his elbow against the couch and kept eyeing her with dreamy eyes.

"Why are you looking at me like that?" she wondered.

"You look so pretty, Becs," he said.

"You got a new haircut?" she asked, suddenly feeling nervous that he'd point out the makeup and she'd have to explain the very normal thing she did.

He nodded. "You like it?" he asked tilting his head so that she could see.

"Uh-huh, very _adult_ ," she said not knowing how to express herself better.

"Yeah," he chuckled. "Well, am I one." He ran his fingers through his hair.

"No, like, these days dudes' hairdos look less like hairdos and more like makeup brushes," she told him and reached over to touch his hair. "I don't know why, but seeing a grown man with crazy hair makes him look like he's held back in high school or something."

"Okay, grandma," he said in amusement.

She shrugged and brought the mug of tea to her lips.

"Bec, when are the moving people going to finish unpacking your stuff?" he asked as he looked at the several boxes laying around.

" _The moving people_ just move furniture, they don't unpack," she told him. "I'll eventually do it," she shrugged.

"No, I'll do it," he said.

She tilted her head to look at him. "You don't have to."

"Beca, I know you. Joseph would be scooting around and these boxes won't get unpacked," he told her.

"That is an exaggeration!" she scoffed

"Really? Okay, what about the Christmas tree from two years ago?" He arched an eyebrow. "That tree, along with the Christmas decor, stayed in your living room 'til July," he reminded her.

"That year was busy for me, I was barely at home and when I was I'd be sleeping," she argued.

"And, now you're pregnant. 21 weeks pregnant. And you complain about walking."

Beca sighed giving in.

"Doc, says, I'm gonna gain a lot of weight from now on," she informed him. "I'm gonna become a human whale!"

"Shut up," he chuckled. "You'll gain just enough weight." He put his mug down and scooted closer to her, resting his hand on her belly.

Beca cupped his cheek and guided him to her lips. He kissed her tenderly and felt her hand make its way to the back of his neck pulling him closer to her.

The hand resting on her belly moved to the sweatshirt's zipper undoing it.

He sighed against her lips gently cupping her breast over the fabric of her cotton t-shirt. She pulled him even closer while gripping his hair.

"Bed. Bed, now!" Beca pulled away. He nodded and got up then extended his arm. She took his hand and carefully got on her feet.

"My nipples have been leaking this yellowish thing. Doc says it's the first liquid boobs produce in process of making milk. So, keep your mouth away 'cause it's gross."

"Gross?" He tilted his head and he stepped inside her bedroom.

"Yeah. Really gross. And my boobs are getting veiny, ugh." She grimaced. "My t-shirt is gonna stay," she decided.

"What? No!" he shook his head and let go of her hand to cup her face. "Nothing about you is gross. You're hot as hell."

"Sure," she said not sounding convinced.

"Beca, I'm serious. You're amazing in every sense of the word." He paused to swallow. "I can't get enough of you. It's like I've been watching the theatrical version of the lord of the rings movies for so long which is great then got to see the extended edition and it's fucking amazing."

His analogy got an eye roll.

"I feel like a borderline creep for thinking so much about you," he continued to say, ignoring her eye roll.

His words were sweet and made her feel better about herself and most importantly made her want him more.

"Everyone thinks about sex, don't worry, it's normal," she told him and leaned up to kiss him.

"You think I'm here for sex?" he frowned pulling away.

"Well." She paused scratching her temple. "Yeah," she nodded.

"Hey, dude, cmon." She sighed when he stepped away from her. "What's going on here?" she wondered when he started to pace back and forth in front of her.

"I'm thinking," he said.

Beca watched him for a while then took a seat on the bed.

"Okay, so I lied about the banana bread. I made it specifically for you." He stopped pacing and turned to her.

"I know," she nodded. "Can we have sex now?" she hesitantly asked.

"I missed you and wanted to see. The sex part is great because you're great at it and I love having sex with you. I mean your body is," he blew a breath lost at words. "Your body is fucking amazing."

His words boosted up her self-esteem so she smiled.

"But it's not why I'm here. I came over because I just wanted to hang out with you. Talk about your day and tell you the stuff I did today and whole week since you've been ignoring me since you moved here—"

"—woah there, I'm not ignoring you," she interrupted.

"Oh yeah?" he challenged. She nodded.

"Then why didn't you pick up the phone and called at least once this week."

"Because I texted you."

"Beca, you texted me links of IKEA cribs asking if I think I could assemble them!" He rubbed his cheek. "Questions related to the nursery. But never about me or even Bender."

"Okay, how is Bender? Has he swallowed that annoying monkey toy yet?" she asked.

"Bender misses you," he spoke softly then sighed. "I miss you."

"Jesse, I've missed you, too." She patted the mattress silently asking him to sit.

He walked to the bed and sat down.

"Ever since moving out I've felt weird about contacting you. It's the same kind of weirdness you'd feel when you start seeing someone new. Now, I know we didn't really go through that stage because we were friends and roommates before getting together and you haven't dated anyone apart from me and your ex-wife who's your high school sweetheart so I don't expect you to understand it but that's how I feel about you right now." She tilted her. "And it has nothing to do with the feelings I have for you."

He nodded rubbing his chin.

"So, we're supposed to have sex and like ignore each other?" he asked looking up to met her gaze.

She put her hand over his. "Usually I'd just fool around with the guy when I first start seeing him. No sex. But I'm pregnant and I want sex and you're _you_. I'm sure that I want to sleep with you." She shrugged. "As for the ignoring—well it's not really ignoring, it's more like I don't wanna come off too strong. I don't want to look desperate. Like, seeing a man isn't a top priority and the dude I'm seeing has to see that without me having to actually say it."

Jesse nodded again and rubbed his face with his free hand.

"I know it's weird. And doesn't really work in our situation 'cause we know each other very well and I shouldn't feel weird about texting you or calling you but I do." She shrugged then patted his hand and pulled hers away.

"No, I understand," he told her.

They sat in silence for a few seconds before Beca broke it asking, "You think we could get back to what we were doing now?"

He eyed her for few seconds then asked, "did you just get home from somewhere?" He tugged a lock of her hair behind her ear.

"Um, no," she answered. "I got off work and drove home right away. Why?"

"You still have makeup on," he said with a shrug. "Want me to go get you a wipe so that you'd take it off?" he asked. "You said it's bad for the skin. Gives you wrinkles when you go to bed wearing it," he reminded her of what she told him once.

"Jesse Swanson, you are a fucking idiot," she said in amusement and cupped his face pulling him into a kiss.

* * *

Jesse slept over because it's snowing and super cold and totally not because he just didn't want to leave. Except he didn't really catch much sleep. Few hours after they fell asleep, he felt Beca shake his shoulder.

Except he didn't really catch much sleep. Few hours after they fell asleep, he felt Beca shake his shoulder.

"Jesse, get up. I think something is wrong." Beca was punching his shoulder at that point.

"What?" He shot up at the words he heard and blinked. Beca was clothed which was odd considering they went to bed right after having sex and were _naturally_ naked.

"I got hungry so I got up for a snack then I realized that I had to pee and I found spotting in my underwear," she told him as he got up and reached for his clothes.

"Calm down, Bec, spotting isn't uncommon in the second trimester," he said trying to convince himself that nothing was wrong.

* * *

"Light bleeding in the second trimester is very common ma'am," the doctor told Beca once she told her the reason they were at the ER at 1:40 am.

"We will run some tests—"

"—I have Preeclampsia," she interrupted the doctor. "I developed around the 4 months mark. Um, it's genetic," she told him then glanced at Jesse who had confused look on his face because it was the first time he heard about it.

The doctor calmly nodded then proceeded to ask her a number of questions and checked up on the baby who turned out to be stable at the moment then he looked at her cervix before asked for a blood test. Beca tried to smile back at the friendly nurse when she finished drawing the sample then held her head once it was just her and Jesse in the room.

"Do I get you anything?" Jesse hesitantly asked from his spot on the chair near her bed.

She shook her head then looked up. "I'm sorry, Jesse," she apologized.

"Don't be. It's not your fault it's in your genes," he got up from his seat and rested a hand on her thigh.

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you. I'm sorry you had to know like this," she choked on her tears.

Jesse leaned over and pulled her into his embrace rubbed her arm as he stood near her bed. "I'm not mad," he told her. _Just terrified._

"Every time I tried to tell you I'd feel like shit because I'd be reminded that I'm failing at this whole thing," she cried.

"It's not your fault," he repeated and tightly held her close to him, willing himself to be strong enough for the two of them.

She was scared and he didn't blame her, he was pretty frightened himself but he knew he had to keep himself from freaking out because she needed him.

* * *

As they stepped inside the penthouse holding hands and tired both physically and emotionally they heard sex noises.

"You said you woke up because you wanted to eat, did you eat?" Jesse asked ignoring the noises.

Beca shook her head letting go of his hand to take off her coat.

"Come, I'll make you something." He helped her take off her coat then tossed it on the couch and got rid of his own coat before reaching for her hand and taking it in his.

* * *

She sat on a stool at the kitchen island while he made her waffles.

He put the waffles in front of her and placed a kiss on her head. "Are we this loud when we have sex, too?" he asked taking a seat next to her trying not to feel weird about the fact that he just heard Beca's close friend Stacie climax.

"How am I supposed to know?" she asked after a beat a little too harshly. She knew he was just trying move on and not let the scare they experienced affect them but she couldn't help it. She really wanted to mop around. And she wanted to be mad at him for taking the news of her illness so well. She envied him for being strong. And deep down knew she was actually mad at herself for not be as strong as him.

"You know how we could get an answer?" he asked, ignoring the harshness. She shrugged. "We make a sex tape," he told her and smiled hearing her chuckle.

"In your dreams, nerd," she told him.

"Oh, we already made a couple in my dreams," he told her.

"So a sex tape is like a fantasy of yours?" she asked forcing herself engage in what he was doing because it was probably the best thing she could do right now to save herself from the sadness she was feeling.

"Yep. A cheesy sex tape. I'm talking stud delivery pizza and cable guy fixing the TV."

"What kind of porn do you watch?" she asked.

"Only the best."

"Well, this kind of porn involves a lot of over the top sex noises while actual sex sounds more like running in flip flops," she told him as she brought the waffle to her mouth. "We can't make a legit sex tape if we go for the over the top porn."

"Thanks, Beca, now I have this to think of when we're having sex," he laughed.

She was swallowing and couldn't talk so she did the hat tip gesture as a way of acknowledging his thanks.

"What are you two doing up this late?" They heard Stacie so they tilted their heads.

"We were at the hospital," Beca told her all trace of amusement gone from her voice.

"You okay?" Stacie asked in concern. "Why didn't you call?"

"Jesse's here," Beca curtly said, feeling a lump in her throat.

"Bec had some light bleeding so we went to see if it was serious. It's not," he informed Stacie.

"Oh, that happens when the dick goes too deep it messes with the cervix, right?" Stacie asked sounding relieved.

Jesse nodded and glanced at Beca who was quietly eating.

Stacie then walked to the fridge and pulled a pitcher to pour herself a glass of water.

"Well, try not to break my friend's cervix with your dick, your son is right behind it." She paused to chug down some water. "You know screwing too much could lead to preterm labor," she pointed out then frowned when she heard a sniff come from Beca.

Stacie looked at Jesse in puzzlement and he just shook his head because she unintentionally made her friend cry when she brought up her biggest fear.

Jesse hopped off of the stool and rubbed Beca's back. "Bec, are you done eating?" he asked. She nodded.

"Let's go to bed then," he said and placed a kiss on her head. He stepped back when she got up.

Beca cleared her throat. "Good night, Stace," she said and leaned against Jesse when he wrapped an arm around her shoulder.

"Night," Stacie said and looked at Jesse who smiled tightly at her.

* * *

"I'm scared, Jesse," Beca confessed as they laid in bed.

He felt his heart breaking as he wiped the tears that wouldn't stop falling.

"I know," he said. She'd been bottling up her fears and him knowing meant she didn't have to keep it all to herself which also meant crying her eyeballs out until she felt better.

"You heard the doctor, Beca," he told her. He wanted to tell her that he was, too, scared but she needed him to be strong. "You're okay. Joseph is healthy."

"He won't stay in the womb until he's due," she said and sniffed. "And I can't help it, Jesse," she cried and he held her closer to him.

"He'll get here when he decides to get here. He's like his mom, a rebel," he said rubbed her arm. "And it's not like we live in the desert. Doctors will make sure he's okay. He'll be fine." He placed a small peck on her forehead. "And when he grows up we'll tease him about being in a hurry whenever he is impatient and tell him that he was in so much hurry when he was still in the womb he decided to cut his stay short and arrive early."

What he was saying was so ridiculous she laughed.

"He's like you, Becs, doesn't let anything stand in his way," he told her. "I just hope he doesn't inherit your height too 'cause it'll be problematic if he did, it could screw his social life— I mean, it's cute when he's like a toddler but he will _so_ get bullied in school and I really don't want my kid punching his bullies— since he's your kid, too, he could inherit your feistiness," he smiled hearing her mumble, "fuck you."

He wished she had told him earlier about her illness because that way she would have had to deal with it on her own.


	17. Chapter 16

**Monday.**

"Not that I don't want to be here but why isn't _Jesse_ doing this with you?" Stacie wondered as she and Beca walked around a store.

"Because he's busy unpacking my stuff," Beca answered.

"But can't he do that later? Or better yet can't you wait until he's done and shop for your baby's nursery room together?" Stacie ran her fingers on a musical mobile.

"Jess says it bothers him to walk around the place and see boxes in different corners," Beca shrugged. "And taking off days in my job isn't exactly easy.—oh, this one looks nice." Beca stopped near a crib. "It's big and will probably fit him until he's old enough to sleep on a bed, right?"

"Yeah," Stacie nodded smiling at her friend's excitement as she took a picture of the crib and texted it to Jesse to get his opinion.

* * *

After they finished with the bedding furniture, the two decided to stop for lunch.

"What are you going to paint the nursery?" Stacie asked while eyeing her phone, as the two stepped into an Italian restaurant.

"Jess and I agreed on a shade of green," Beca informed her.

"Green. That's nice." Stacie locked her phone and looked up.

They settled on an empty table and ordered.

A waiter had just left their table when Stacie noticed a man looking at their table.

"Beca, some guy's looking at you," Stacie said.

"You sure it's not you who's looking at?" Beca deadpanned as her eyes fell on her friend's cleavage.

"Nope, he's looking at you."

Beca looked behind her recognizing the guy as the nurse that hit on her at her OB/GYN's.

"You know him?" Stacie asked.

"Yeah, he works at my OB/GYN's," Beca informed her.

"Oh, he's coming over," she told Beca.

"Neat," Beca smiled tightly.

"Hi," the man said once he reached their table.

The two women looked up. Stacie flirtatiously waving while Beca kept a stoic expression on her face.

"Ms. Mitchell, right?" he said to Beca.

"Yep," she nodded.

"I'm Rafael, we met at Dr. Robin's," he said thinking she forgot.

"I remember you," she told him.

"Cool," he smiled. "How have you been?" he asked.

"Great," she curtly answered.

"Great," he repeated after her. "I'm sitting over there with my mom and I saw and figured I'd come say hi." He gestured at his mother. Beca tilted her head and smiled at the older woman meeting her gaze.

"Rafael, nice meeting you. I'm Stacie, Beca's friend," Stacie introduced herself.

"Hi," he said finally acknowledging her presence. "Pleasure meeting you."

"You too," Stacie eyed him up and down.

"Do you always come here?" he asked. "I've never been."

"I've eaten here a few times," Beca nodded. "They make excellent Ziti," she told him.

"Oh, I will definitely keep that in mind next time I come here," he smiled at her then looked at his mother before looking back at Beca. "On _a date_ maybe," he said suggestively. Beca looked down at her plate knowing he meant a date with her. Rafael shook his head realizing it was a pretty bad move on his part. "Um, okay, well… Happy holidays," he nervously said then left their table.

"That was pathetic," Stacie said. "His crush on you is so pathetic." Stacie followed him with her eyes.

"Shut up," Beca rolled her eyes and uncomfortably shifted in her seat.

"What's his deal?" Stacie wondered out of curiosity.

"Well, he asked me out and I said no. Whenever I go for a checkup he'd be there giving me puppy eyes," Beca said in boredom.

"Why did you turn him down?" Stacie frowned. "He's quite hot."

"Do I really have to answer that or it this a trick question?"

"Going out with him could help with your thing with Jesse."

"How exactly is that gonna happen?" Beca wondered.

"How are you supposed to know if you want to stay with Jesse if you haven't even tried seeing other people?"

Beca scoffed.

"It will definitely give you some perspective."

"How?"

"I don't know. I guess you will feel it. If it's wrong you will feel it." Stacie shrugged.

"How come you give relationship advice when you're the most single person I know?" Beca wondered after a beat as she began to warm up to her friend's suggestion.

"I observe, Beca," Stacie said making Beca chuckle.

Beca tilted her head and blew a breath seriously thinking about asking Rafael out.

* * *

"Jesse," Beca called loud enough Jesse would hear her as she and Stacie stepped into the penthouse.

She heard footsteps then saw Jesse peek his head.

"Why are you hiding behind the wall?" Beca asked as she began to walk towards the stairs.

"I'm not hiding out," he denied.

As she climbed the stairs, Jesse sighed and stepped out so that she'd see him.

He was wearing an old torn t-shirt along with a pair of beach shorts and had green paint all over him.

"What is going on in here?" she asked still climbing the stairs.

"I am painting the nursery," he slowly said. "I counted on traffic to hold you back." He scratched his head. "It's not done," he told her. "And paint smells bad, don't go in," he blocked her way so that she couldn't step foot on the second floor.

"I don't care," she mumbled pushing him to walk past him. He let her through.

"I tried to take her get a mani-padi," Stacie told him when he looked at her. (He had asked her to keep Beca out of the penthouse until he's done which she failed to do.)

* * *

"Looks awesome, Jesse," Beca dropped her bag on the floor and tilted her head when she heard him stepped into the room.

"It'll look awesom-er when it's done," he said as he walked to where she was standing, in the middle of the room.

"That's not a word," she told him. "The crib will go here…" She pointed at a spot. Jesse nodded and smiled when she went on to tell him where the rest of the furniture was going to be put.

"When are they gonna ship everything?" he asked.

"Tomorrow."

"Okay, I should finish this and hope and it dries out by tomorrow," he said. "I mean, it says on the label that it dries fast," he shrugged then looked at Beca. "I'll come over and put the furniture in place, so don't worry about that, okay?"

Beca nodded then clenched his t-shirt and pulled him to her.

"Bec, you'll get paint on your clothes," he said in amusement.

Beca took a second to think then said, "Yeah, you're right." She leaned up and kissed him while keeping some distance between them. Jesse rested a hand on her waist to keep her from getting any closer to him as they kissed. He pulled away first and smiled meeting her gaze.

"What are you doing this weekend?" He moved his hand and put it on the small of her back.

"Nothing. Absolutely nothing. I'm gonna sleep 'til noon and watch reality shows with or without Stacie," she told him. "Why?" she asked.

"I thought we'd go out on a date."

"But don't you have Sam over for the weekend?" Beca frowned.

"Not this weekend nor the next one." He paused. "They're going on a holiday trip to Canada, eh," he informed her and did an awful Canadian accent as he spoke.

Beca knew he meant his daughter, his ex-wife, and his daughter's stepdad when he said they so she nodded.

"They're gonna stay over there 'til New Year. Turns out Doug's family owns a cabin somewhere in Quebec."

"Doug's Canadian?" Beca said in surprise.

"He's born here but yeah, he's Canadian," he shrugged. "So, you think we could go on a date?" he hopefully asked.

"Sure," Beca replied and leaned up pulling him into another kiss.

Pulling away, Jesse grabbed her bag from the floor and handed it to her hearing her phone chime with a text.

"It's Bumper," Beca told Jesse as she checked it.

(Bumper was flying over to New York to sign his contract with her label.)

"He's gonna stay here, right?" Jesse walked to the paintbrush and dipped it in paint.

"Yep. He just got into an Uber." She told Bumper he's welcome to stay with her because the more people she had around the less likely Jesse would worry about her when he wasn't.

"Um, stay for dinner?" she asked looking up from her phone.

"Yeah, sure," he smiled at her before he went back to the task at hand. He felt her gaze on him and grinned. He bent to dip the paintbrush in the bucket. "Like what you see, Becs?" he took his time before standing up.

"Uh-huh, your work is decent. But you might wanna redo the bottom, Jesse," she told him. "It could definitely use some more paint."

Jesse chuckled then nodded his head. "Okay, whatever you say, boss." He bent to redo the bottom and took an awful lot of time.

"A little to left." He heard her say, grinned even harder, and did what she asked him to do.

"Good enough for ya?" he asked, tilting his head and straightening up when he heard her walk to where he was.

"Yes. Keep up the good work." She playfully slapped his butt cheek then left the room.

* * *

"I am not feeling the Christmas spirit in this home," Bumper said as he, Beca, Jesse and Stacie sat down for dinner. "Not even a tree?" He looked at Beca in disbelief.

Beca shrugged meeting his gaze. "Christmas isn't until Sunday, I'll get a tree by then."

"You know what else you could do?" Bumper paused for the dramatic effect.

Beca arched an eyebrow, "What?"

"Throw the New Year party here," he grinned.

"What's with the " _the_ "?" Stacie wondered.

"Every year, her branch throws a New Year party celebrating the fact that they're still in business," Bumper told Stacie. "I happened to be around last year and honestly it was a dope party."

"Matt insists on throwing these parties. I have nothing to do with them. I just show my face because it's not cool according to Matt if I don't," Beca said to Stacie. "He's like a classic Trophy wife always planning pretty awesome parties."

"Oh, a New Year's party would be so great, Beca," Stacie said. "And since you can't exactly go out and party, you bring the party home."

"It'll be like a house warming party," Bumper added.

Beca looked at Jesse who was quietly eating and watching them talk.

"It could be fun," Jesse shrugged when he met her gaze.

"Yeah," Bumper hollered slapping Jesse's shoulder and causing him to get into a coughing fit.

"I'll think about it," Beca said watching Jesse bring a glass of water to his lips. "Hey, is Amy gonna come here for Christmas?" she asked Bumper.

"Yeah, probably," he nodded. "You could fly Chloe over, too, and have a Bellas reunion," he added.

"Oh, that's a great idea," Stacie said impressed with Bumper.

"I'll think about it," Beca repeated.

* * *

"The room looks great, Jesse," Beca said in a loud enough voice for Jesse who was currently showering to hear.

"Hope it dries out soon," he said back in a muffled voice.

"It better." Beca walked into the en-suite bathroom. "Jess, what are you gonna do with the clothes you wore while painting?" she asked picking them up from the floor.

"I don't know. Keep them around in case I paint again?"

"I'll put them in a bag so that you won't get paint all over your back bag then," she said.

"Thanks."

* * *

Beca grabbed a plastic bag from the kitchen and stuffed the shorts and t-shirt in it. Once she reached her bedroom, she grabbed his back bag and was about to put the bag inside it when she noticed a book. She grabbed it and flipped it in her hand before she read the title of the book that was about pregnancy related illnesses.

"You shouldn't be reading this," she held it in a way he'd see it when she heard him walk into the room. "I deliberately chose to know the bare minimum so that I don't panic," she sighed turning to look at him. Jesse was drying himself with a towel while eyeing her.

"I'd go insane not knowing how I could help. And this book's been insightful," he told her.

"There's nothing you could do. There are meds I take and just hope for the best," she deadpanned and put the book back where she found it along with the bag that had his clothes.

"Wrong." He walked to where she was standing. "This thing you have makes your blood pressure go high. Drugs could keep it stable but they can't prevent the possibility of it rising if say you get super mad. Whereas I can calm you down." He placed a kiss on her cheek.

"Get away from me, you're still wet," she said in mock annoyance. His response was to wrap his arms around her and rest his cheek against her head.

She leaned against him and closed her eyes. She chuckled feeling him take her earlobe between his teeth.

"That's not how you're supposed to react," he spoke huskily into her ear.

"Jesse, get the sex tape fantasy thing out of your head," she said, recalling a conversation they had a while ago.

"Who said anything about a sex tape?" he asked pulling his head back when she tilted hers.

"Because if you're _you_ and you will eventually bring it up again. In fact, you've been warming me up to it."

"I am innocent of these accusations," he said while giving her puppy dog eyes.

"Jesse, you offered to help fix the very functional sink," she said in amusement. "And, now, you just painted the nursery looking all sexy in that ripped t-shirt and tight shorts to show off your ass." She turned around and placed a hand on his butt lightly digging her fingers into the towel was covering his lower half.

"Doesn't prove anything," he said after a beat of silence.

She leaned up pecking his lips before stepping away from him knowing that if she stayed near him for longer he wouldn't leave her room thus spend the night over which she was actively avoiding.

"Use the blow-dryer to dry your hair," she said as she walked out of the room.

"Okay." Jesse rubbed the back of his neck.

* * *

Jesse was dressed and out of Beca's bedroom in 15 minutes—he made sure to dry his hair like she asked him to because he knew she'd nag him about it if he caught a cold in the next few days then made his way to the living area and spotted Stacie lounging on one couch with her laptop on her lap sporting a pair of shorts and a sweatshirt while Bumper sat on the armchair facing her texting.

"Good night, guys," he said as slipped on his beanie.

"Night," Bumper said glancing up for a second.

(Beca updated him on their situation.)

"I thought you were staying over," Stacie said after checking the time and seeing that it was 10:14 pm.

"Who's gonna feed Bender if I sleep over?" he smiled tightly at her then tilted his head to look at Beca who was making her way to him with a marshmallow fluff jar in her hand and a spoon in her mouth.

She removed the spoon from her mouth and dipped it in the jar. "I'll tell you if you paint dries tomorrow," she told him. "You know, so that you wouldn't have to come all the way here for no good reason."

He nodded and leaned in and kissed her, and made sure he licked the marshmallow that was on the corner of her mouth.

"Good night, Bec," he said pulling away.

"Night," she mumbled bringing to spoon to her mouth. She eyed him as he wore his coat and could not resist zipping it all the way for him when he didn't.

"Let me grab you a scarf to wrap around your neck, it's cold and you just showered," Beca said and handed him the jar before she walked to her bedroom.

Jesse rolled his eyes but didn't object.

"I saw that," Beca said over her shoulders.

Jesse wore his back bag and leaned against a wall waiting for her until she came back holding a knitted gray scarf. She wrapped it around his neck then clenched the scarf and pulled him down, placing a kiss on his lips before she took the fluff jar from him.

The scarf smelled like her and he decided he was going to keep it. —She kept many of his t-shirts, he felt entitled to at least something of hers.

 **Thursday.**

 _What am I fucking doing here?_ —Beca wondered to herself as she sat facing a very nervous Rafael.

Beca took Stacie's advice and asked Rafael the nurse if he was free on Thursday to go lunch with her at the restaurant they ran into each other at.

He was anxious and clearly intimidated by her. Luckily, she had dealt with many anxious interns to know how to break the ice.

"So when did you know you wanted to become a nurse?" Beca asked as she grabbed her fork once the waiter put her lunch for her.

"Um, I never thought I would ever work as a nurse," Rafael told her. "It sort of just happened," he shrugged. "What about you? How did you know you wanted to do what you do"

"Oh, I've always been drawn to music. At first, it was singing. Then I noticed that I could pick up by ear when songs have the same chord progression." Beca paused when she saw that he didn't know what she was talking about.

"Um, songs that would sound all right when you go back and forth between them. A mashup. I can make mashups," she explained.

"Oh," he nodded. "Could you sing something?" he asked. "Please?"

Beca sighed then nodded, "okay." She took a second to think. "I heard you crying loud, all the way across town. You've been searching for that someone, and it's me out on the prowl as you sit around feeling sorry for yourself," she sang the first verse from Green Day's When I come Around in a really low voice. "Yes, she caught my eye, as we walked on by. She could see from my face that I was, flying high. And I don't think that I'll see her again, but we shared a moment that will last 'til the end," she sang a verse from James Blunt's you're beautiful while lightly tapping her fingers on the table to create the tempo.

"Wow." He paused. "You have a lovely voice."

"Thanks," she thanked him.

"When did you realize you could do that?" he asked.

Beca blew a breath. "I don't know. Like 13 maybe? But I started actually doing mashups after I discovered a software on the apple store," she told him. "It was like I found my calling. I was good at mixing so I figured I'd just move to L.A. and make a living out of it."

"When did you move to L.A?" Rafael wondered very intrigued.

"Let's see." She paused. "I graduated college when I was 22. I was interning at a label then in Atlanta. Worked there for about a year then I decided it wasn't enough and moved to L.A. So 23. I packed and moved to Los Angeles when I was 23."

"So, here's a confession," Rafael started to say and Beca arched an eyebrow.

"I went through your medical file." He grimaced.

"Pardon?"

"I know it's so wrong. And I could lose my job you decide to tell my boss."

"Why?" Beca asked as she chewed slowly.

"Frankly, I was wondering why you came for check-ups regularly," he told her. "I was curious."

"Okay, creepy." Beca sucked her teeth. He invaded her privacy but at least told her. She decided to let it slide.

"I'm sorry about what you suffer from," he said when she looked up from her plate.

She smiled tightly at his words and grabbed her glass of water.

* * *

Beca had just returned to work from her lunch date. What she ate for lunch wasn't enough so she decided to eat the sandwich she brought with her from home. She walked straight to the break room and found Christina staring at her lunch.

"Hey," Beca said stepping into the room. Christina looked up from her salad.

"What's up, boss?" She leaned back against her chair.

"Nothing much," Beca shrugged as she opened the fridge. "Except the fact that I'm always hungry," she sighed pulling the tuna sandwich.

"What's up with you?" Beca asked pulling a chair and sitting on it. "Is everything okay?" she frowned noting the uneasiness in Christina's eyes when she met her gaze.

"I just have some stuff going on," she said trying to sound casual but it didn't fool Beca.

"Well, if you need the evening off you can take it." Beca brought the sandwich to her mouth and took a bite.

"Thank you but no. Work is actually helping." She stabbed the salad with her fork and brought it to her mouth.

"Work is an efficient distraction," Beca nodded.

"It really is," Christina agreed.

"I'm supposed to send reports of the work we've done here over this year before next year's budget meeting in headquarters. I always push it back 'til mid-January before I start working on them. Something tells me I'm gonna be busy complaining about how everything aches by then and I won't get the time to work on them—"

"—I'll get right on them," Christina interrupted welcoming the distraction.

"Cool," Beca mumbled and grabbed her phone when it chimed with a text. "I don't have any meeting 'till 4:15, right?" Beca asked.

"Yes," Christina answered.

"My friend is currently on his way to buy me a Christmas tree," Beca sighed. "I gonna go meet him and make sure he doesn't get too worked up about the whole Christmas spirit. Want to come with me?"

Beca saw that her PA needed to take a walk and was trying to help.

"Yeah, okay," Christina nodded.

* * *

"You okay there?" Christina asked when Beca held her head and stopped walk.

Beca nodded and inhaled deeply.

"Just a little dizzy," Beca swallowed and looked up. "Do you mind driving?" Beca reached into her pocket and pulled her car keys.

"I-I don't." Christina paused then cleared her throat. "I don't drive."

"Oh, okay. Well, then, give me a minute 'til it goes away," Beca said and held on to Christina's arm when she offered it.

"You sure you're okay to drive?" Christina hesitantly asked when Beca put the key in the ignition to get the heater working.

"Yeah, I'll feel better in a minute," Beca assured her as she leaned against her seat.

"It's not that I don't know how to drive. I just haven't gotten behind the wheel in a while," Christina hesitantly shared with Beca, who was resting her eyes, then let out a shattered breath. "I'm a little rusty."

"Don't worry, I won't run over someone," Beca assured as she tilted her head to look at the woman sitting next to her. Christina forced a smile then nodded.

* * *

 **AN:** I hope you had an awesome time during holidays.

What do you think of the date with Rafael and how do you think that will affect the plot development? Also, got any idea on Christina's deal?

You will get answers in future chapters but I would very much like to hear your thoughts.

Thanks for reading. Peace!


	18. Chapter 17

**Saturday**

"You know me too well," Beca dramatically sighed as she and Jesse stepped into a diner.

Jesse placed a kiss on her head and rested a hand on her waist. "C'mon, let's sit down."

They walked to an empty booth and sat down.

"Where did you find this place?" Beca asked as she took a look around at the diner that had a 50s feel to it.

"I googled awesome places in NYC for breakfast enthusiasts," he told her. "This place had a lot of feedback." He paused. "And, here's the kicker they make top notch waffles."

"Oh, now you're talking," she said.

* * *

"You know, this could feed a small village in Africa," Jesse said once the waiter placed their order for them. Beca ordered one too many waffles, bacon, pancakes and scrambled eggs and a smoothie to drink while Jesse settled orange juice and French toast.

"Haha," Beca laughed sarcastically. "Well, I haven't had breakfast since yesterday," she told him and pulled the waffles to eat first.

Jesse snickered and brought his orange juice glass to his lips taking a sip.

"So, you're hosting the party, huh?" Jesse said as he watched Beca take a bite from the waffle she was holding.

"Matt is gonna plan it," she mumbled. "And everyone at work is gonna contribute. I'm basically just providing the venue," she added after swallowing. "I'm gonna lock my bedroom the nursery and hang the keys around my neck."

"Why?" he frowned.

"I am not gonna risk having people screwing in either room," she shrugged.

"Great thinking, Becs," he said as he brought his glass of juice to his lips.

"Um, you should come, Jesse." She mumbled before swallowing. "I know it's not somewhere you wanna be in given the fact that there will be booze." She paused. "But you might wanna come and keep an eye on Christina," she hesitantly said.

"Why, has she shown any sign of relapsing?"

"No, well, you never know with these things, but she seems a little on the edge these days." She shrugged. "And Matt couldn't take a hint and leave her alone until she agreed to come to the damn party."

"Okay, I'll talk to her," Jesse said frowning. "What's wrong?" he asked when Beca bit her bottom lip in discomfort.

"Nothing. Joseph just kicked me in the bladder," she told. "And now I really need to pee," she huffed. "Shut up," she glared at him noting a hint of a smile on his lips.

* * *

"Oh, hey, Beca," Stacie said in a raspy voice as she walked into the kitchen.

"Hey," Beca greeted eyeing her friend who was wearing sunglasses indoors and if she were to guess she'd say Stacie was naked under the robe was wearing. "Partied hard?"

"I'm coming off ecstasy," Stacie told her. "It was really good shit," she added and pulled a bottle of water from the fridge.

"Oh, ecstasy. I haven't had that in ages," Beca sighed and dipped a cookie into the glass of milk she just poured.

"Do you have anything I could take for my head?" Stacie asked after chugging down some water.

"Yeah, check in the bathroom in my room. First drawer."

Stacie walked in heavy steps to Beca's bedroom that was on the second floor and came back several minutes later.

"How was your date?" Stacie asked as she hopped a stool next to Beca.

"Jesse found this 50s themed dinner. It was fun." Beca shrugged.

"No, the other date." Stacie rested her head on the kitchen island. "The one I didn't get to ask you about 'cause we have different sleeping schedules and all."

"Oh." Beca paused. "It was interesting," she slowly said. "At first it felt weird 'cause I'm like 7 years older than him and I'm pregnant but he's cool. A little creepy but cool."

"Creepy?"

"Um, he told me he went through my medical file because he was curious." She brought the cookie to her mouth.

"Well, at least now he knows you don't have any STI," Stacie chuckled. "Are you going on a second date?" she then asked.

"Hell to the no," Beca shook her head. "I mean, he seems sweet but with everything going on in my life I really don't think I can invest in someone's life romantically."

"You mean someone that isn't Jesse?" Stacie sat up and held her head while resting her elbows on the kitchen island.

"If things work out with Jesse it would be great. But I'm not ready for a new relationship."

"It doesn't have to be a relationship. You could just fool around," Stacie shrugged.

"See, I can't do that," Beca clicked her tongue. "I'm not good at the no strings attached thing, Stace."

"Okay," Stacie said then inhaled deeply. "I'm gonna go kick the dude sleeping in my bed out and take a shower," she added after a beat. "He's a cop I met last night."

"There's a police officer sleeping in my house?" Beca said in surprise. "Wait, you were on drugs last night… Why aren't you in jail right now?"

"He wasn't on duty when I met him. He was at the nightclub I was at as part of his friend's bachelor party and had accidently eaten a pot brownie. He was freaking out in the restroom when I was fixing my makeup."

"Let me guess, you helped him calm his nerves by hooking up with him?" Beca said in amusement.

"My makeup got smudged again I got bruises because of how hard he was gripping my thigh to maintain balance in the toilet." She showed Beca the bruises.

"Well it was worth it since you brought him home," Beca said as she eyed her friend's thigh.

"So worth it," Stacie nodded.

Hearing someone walk down the stairs the two tilted their heads to the source: a 6 foot 2 man with dirty blond hair.

"Hi," he greeted while buttoning his shirt that was missing a few buttons. "Stella?" he grimaced.

"Stacie," Stacie told him and got up.

"Right," he nodded and tilted his head to look at Beca. "We haven't met before, have we?" he asked her.

"Unless you arrested her before, no," Stacie answered for Beca.

Beca rolled her eyes at Stacie and said, "No, we haven't."

"I'm Andrew," he said.

"Beca," Beca introduced herself then brought her glass of milk to her lips.

"I'm sorry, I don't remember much of last night," he apologized while rubbing an eye. "Do you know I left my jacket?" he asked Stacie.

"You didn't have a jacket when we met, chum," Stacie shrugged.

"Oh, okay," he slowly said.

"Hey, dude, do you want a mug of coffee?" Beca found herself asking, he seemed very hazed and could use it.

"Yes, please and thank you," he sighed. He eyed her some more asked and, "are you sure we never met before? I never forget a face—kinda part of my job— and you look very familiar," he said as he made his way to the kitchen.

"Then you've probably seen her face on TV or something," Stacie held her aching head.

"No, wait, I remember. My partner and I were at this bar because of a fight. You were there. I remember 'cause you were using a cold beer bottle to reduce the swelling on your arm and refused help when I offered."

Stacie audibly laughed.

"I wasn't part of the fight," Beca said to Stacie. "I was standing close to the fight and some equipment fell next to and hit me in the arm." She filled a mug of coffee.

"Here you go." Beca handed the officer the coffee.

"Thank you," he gratefully accepted the mug. "And congratulations," he added after glancing down at her belly.

"Thanks," she smiled and grabbed her glass of milk refill it. She glanced to Stacie and sighed seeing that she had taking off her sunglasses and was eyeing the cop.

"Pleasure meeting you," Beca grabbed her plateful of cookies and picked up the milk then started making her way out of the kitchen because she knew what Stacie was up to.

* * *

"I wouldn't go to the kitchen," Beca said running into Bumper as she climbed the stairs.

"Why?" he stopped in his tracks.

"Stacie brought a guy with her last night—they're in the kitchen." She paused letting him draw his own conclusions.

"Oh," Bumper exclaimed slowly. "I wasn't going there," he shrugged. "Amy's flight gets here at 6:20 pm I'm gonna go get all her favorite junk food. Want me to get you anything or come with?" he asked.

"I think I'm gonna go nap."

They both titled their heads hearing Stacie laugh followed by the sound of a chair getting moved. "On second though I'm coming with you," Beca added. "Let me just grab my purse."

"You're slow. I'll do it," he offered.

"Thanks. It's the black one on my bed."

"It's Christmas eve!" Bumper exclaimed at random, as he turned on his heels.

"It's barely noon," Beca said after glancing at the time.

"Shit is exciting," Bumper added rubbing his hands together as he climbed the stairs.

* * *

"Carly Rae Jepsen's career never started to end," Bumper waved Stacie off overhearing her conversation with Beca when entered the kitchen. "She made a record that no one heard so it doesn't count," he continued.

Stacie rolled her eyes as she brought her glass of wine to her lips to take a sip.

"All I'm saying is that having one catchy song ruins careers," Stacie said.

"Debatable," Bumper shrugged then bent to pull the steak he was making them for dinner from the oven.

"Can't wait to take a bit of that," Amy said from behind Beca who was eyeing the tray Bumper pulled.

"Looks awesome," Beca gulped her eyes following the steak.

"No, I meant Bumper's arse, but yeah the steak looks great," Amy hopped next to Beca. "Quick question," Amy paused to toss a fry from the plate that was in front of Beca.

"Shoot," Beca told her.

"Now that you're knocked up, do you spit or swallow when you give your boyfriend a blowie and let your child get nourishing by eating what contributed in making him in the first place?" Amy thoughtfully asked.

"You know the baby gets the food I eat after it's been digested and in the form of molecular particles, right? And doesn't actually _eat_ what I eat." Beca said after a beat.

"Fact: semen has glycogen, protein, and some fats, so it's actually good to swallow," Stacie injected.

"Interesting," Bumper thoughtfully said.

"You still haven't answered," Amy reminded Beca.

"I am not going to answer that. A- It's pretty damn personal. B- Your husband is standing right there," Beca nodded at Bumper who was behind the kitchen island cooking them dinner then looked behind her hearing the elevator open and knowing it was Jesse.

"I'll answer," Stacie put the glass down and crossed her legs. "Beca has Pre-eclampsia which is characterized by high blood pressure and a huge amount of protein in the urine. Semen has protein, therefore, she shouldn't be swallowing because it will contribute in fucking up her organs," Stacie explained.

"Actually, I haven't changed my diet one bit. Doc says it wouldn't change shit," Beca sighed. "My body won't leaking protein if I consume any less."

"Hey, Jess," Beca smiled when he stepped into the kitchen while unzipping his coat.

"Mhm, it's smells amazing in here," he exclaimed after taking a deep breath. "Amy, hey!" he said as he made his way to them. "Great seeing you." He pulled her into a hug.

"You too," Amy said pulling away.

"What are you guys up to?" he asked seeing that Bumper was wearing an apron while Stacie sat on the kitchen island sipping wine and Beca eating fries.

"Funny you should ask," Amy slapped his shoulder. "I was just asking Beca if she spits or swallows and lets your child be fed by you know what," she told him as she picked up a couple of fries and brought one of them to her mouth.

"Uh-oh, you just traumatized the guy," Stacie said in amusement at the very shocked look on Jesse's face.

"Okay. I didn't expect this and I'm gonna pretend I didn't hear what you just said and move on," Jesse said after a beat then turned to look at Beca.

"Why aren't you playing Christmas music?" Jesse asked her as he poked her shoulder. "This isn't acceptable!" he said in mock-rage.

"You're in a good mood," Beca said.

"Why wouldn't I be?" he shrugged and leaned in placing a kiss on her forehead then straightened up to shrug off his back bag. He looked through it then pulled his iPod. "Good thing I made an emergency Christmas playlist," he mumbled and walked over the sound system in the penthouse.

"Michael Bublé. Classic," Bumper said opening the fridge and pulling a beer when the music began to play.

Jesse was singing along to Santa Baby as he made his way back to the kitchen. He grinned when Beca stood up.

"Move. I have to pee," she said when he blocked her way. He let her through and followed her while singing until she closed the door in his face.

Jess waited outside and kept singing along then grabbed her by the arm when she stepped out of the bathroom and pulled her to him so that they could slow dance.

Beca sighed and let him channel his inner Jazz star. She rested a hand on his shoulder and couldn't help but smile when she met his gaze.

"So, what's up, Jesse? Did you win the lottery?" Beca asked, still wanting to know why he was in such a good mood.

"The last project I scored just got released and is getting praised for the music," he told her. "The Playlist called it ' _moving and heartwarming_ '."

"I'm so proud of you, Jesse," Beca honestly said and leaned up to kiss him.

"I think I'm gonna quit working at the company and just do freelance jobs," he said when she pulled away.

"I've been telling you that you should do that for a while now. You're too good to get assigned to work on projects." She squeezed his shoulder. "You got your name out there. Filmmakers know you. You shouldn't limit yourself, Jesse."

"Besides, freelance means working from home and having more time for Joe and Sam," he shrugged.

"Yeah," she nodded. "And you'll have time for the filmmaking stuff," she added.

It was his turn to nod. He watched her pull her phone from her back pocket.

"What's it called?" she asked.

"Lonesome Search Party, why?"

"I'm gonna tell people on twitter to watch it," she casually said as she typed on her cell phone.

"Christina is so good at social media stuff. She schooled me on the whole twitter thing and I don't feel out of touch with the world anymore. Also, people find my general hate for a lot of things and my complaints funny."

Jesse leaned in and placed a kiss on her forehead as a thank you.

"She says I should join Instagram but I'm afraid it'll be just pictures of foods." She shrugged.

"You'll get the hang of it," he assured her. "I should go help with dinner," he added when she looked up.

"Bumper is weird when he cooks. Says to not interfere with him when he's "in his zone"," Beca told him using air quotation.

"Okay," he chuckled and began to follow Beca back to the kitchen.

"Hey, I talked to Christina," he informed Beca. "She told me—"

"—Jesse, do I need to remind you of what AA stands for?" Beca cut him off.

"Relax, I know. I wasn't gonna tell you what she said," Jesse said in disbelief. "She just told me what was up and I wanted to thank you for telling me," he pecked her cheek.

"Oh, okay." Beca paused. "She okay?"

"She'll be eventually," he sighed.

* * *

Jesse woke up in the middle of the night when he moved in his sleep and felt Beca's side empty. He glanced at the clock on the nightstand as he got out of the bed and saw that it was 4:10 am. He started to make his way to the stairs and, as he walked, he smiled seeing Beca standing in front of the huge window that he knew was one of the reasons she even bought the place—it gave an amazing view of the city and allowed them to see the skyline.

She heard him when he hit step on the last step of the stairs and tilted her head. "Hey, what are you doing up?" she asked in a low voice as she wrapped her arms around herself.

"I had a mini panic attack when I felt your side of the bed and didn't find you," he casually said as he made his way to where she was standing.

"You?" he wondered as he threw an arm over her shoulder and looked out of the window.

"Joe kicking. I had to pee. Hunger. My backache. You pick." She sighed looking up.

"Ugh," he grimaced. "I'm sorry you have to deal with that," he apologetically said before he leaned in and kissed her. "Did you put mustard on steak?" he wondered pulling away.

"Yeah," she sucked her teeth. "Sorry you had to taste that," she apologized and looked back at the view.

"Pshh. Beca, I once kissed you after you threw up." He rested his cheek against her head. "That time you got so drunk you made nachos with expired cheese and it gave you food poisoning?" he reminded her.

"I feel sick just thinking about that day," she said as she thought back at the day she spent in bed suffering because of the food poisoning and hangover while Jesse spent it trying to make her feel less shitty.

"I was just thinking of Christmas when I was a kid before my parents split up," she said after a beat. "You think you could come over for Christmas even if things don't work out between us?" she asked. "I mean, don't get me wrong. I fucking loved double Christmas— Dad trying to get on my good side by getting me all sort of presents that would piss my mom off 'cause he spoiled me so much? Best thing ever. It's fucking awesome.— But, I actually looked forward to Christmas when I was younger. Like, it is the one day my parents didn't pull their passive-aggressive shit and behaved like normal folks. And, I want Joe to have that. I want him to at least have one day when we act like a family." She turned around and rested a hand on his chest gently playing with the fabric of his t-shirt.

"Doesn't have to be every Christmas 'cause, like, you have Sam and she deserves to spend just as much time as Joe," she shrugged.

"Sammy has Christmas with her mom and Hanukkah with me— well until she has to go to her mother's place after like two days," he sighed. "I'm always a phone call away, Becs." He paused. "You know." He cleared his throat. "If things don't work out between us." He pulled her closer to him.

"Thanks," she thanked him, wrapped her arms around his waist, and rested her head against his shoulder.

"Beca, I won't bail."

"I don't doubt that, Jesse. It's just you never know what life has in store for you." She shrugged.

"Life can suck it. Nothing will stand between me and my kids." He squeezed her in his arms.

Jesse rested a hand on her belly and grinned feeling their son kick.

"I think this kid is hyperactive," Beca said into his shoulder. "He very energetic it's exhausting," she complained but he knew she didn't really mean it. If one thing their kid moving meant he was healthy and she could worry less about his health and the odds of her health problems affecting him.

Jesse chuckled. "C'mon, let's go back to bed." He placed a kiss on her temple. She nodded and removed her arms from around him.

Jesse picked her up bridal style.

"I can walk, you know?" she deadpanned.

"I know." He held her close to him.

Putting her on the bed, Jesse didn't expect Beca to pull him down by his t-shirt. He rested a hand on the mattress to keep himself from falling on top of her and kissed her back when she kissed him then pulled away when she tugged his t-shirt up.

"Aren't you tired?" he asked.

"I'm always tired," she said. "Now, c'mere. I wanna make out with your face." She cupped his cheek and guided him down.

"All right." He climbed on top of her and kissed her. He took her lead, letting her take control over the situation. She kept tugging up his t-shirt so he took it off and felt her hands explore his torso making it harder for him not to rip off her clothes.

"Touch me," she mumbled giving him the green light to move things forward. His hand went down to her waist where he began to fumble with her sweats waistband.

"Jesse, wait," she pulled away and shook her head. He looked up. "I'm sorry. I can't do this," she shook her head, changing her mind.

"What?" he spoke slowly in confusion.

"I want s'more," she told him. "I can't fully get into this when s'more is in the back of my mind," she explained.

"Okay, I'll make you s'more," he said. "I'll use the stove to grill the marshmallow—"

"I finished the marshmallow I got it," she grimaced. "I have been eating so much of it. It's crazy!"

"I'll make a run down a store and get some," he shrugged.

"Thanks." She leaned up and kissed him forcefully.

"Got crackers and chocolate or do I get 'em too?" he asked when she pulled away. She turned thoughtful so he said, "I'll get them just in case." He pecked her lips then got up. "Anything else?" he asked as he reached for his t-shirt.

"No. Just don't take forever." She watched him run his fingers through his hair as he looked for his shoes in the dim light. "And please don't get into trouble," she added.

"Jesus, you sound like my mom," Jesse said in mock-annoyance. She threw a pillow at him in response.

* * *

 **AN:** What do you guys wanna see in the New Year party? I'm bringing Chloe into the mix. So mini Bella reunion. I'd like to hear ideas.

Also, I'm gonna kick off the third act in the next chapter, i.e this story will end soon.


	19. Chapter 18

**December 30th.**

 **8:01 AM.**

"Hi, I came as soon as I could— whoa, okay," Jesse said as he got pulled by his coat by Beca the moment he stepped inside her house.

"I watched Magic Mike with Amy last night," Beca explained before she pressed her lips against his. "I thought I'd just take care of it on my own but it's not enough," she said between kisses. "I need you inside me." She pulled away to unzip his coat.

"Where is everyone?" he wondered as he tossed his coat away.

It was 7:20 in the morning when Beca called him wondering if he could drop by her house sometime during the day. She assured him that it wasn't urgent but he went to her place right after hanging up anyway because he could tell that she needed him and was being weird about asking him to go over to her place.

"Still asleep," she answered.

Jesse picked her up. "Let's wake them up," he grinned.

* * *

"Bec, give me heads up when you decide to watch the sequel," Jesse said as he ran a hand over his face. "You know, to clear my schedule?"

"Noted." Beca leaned against him when he threw his arm around her.

"Have you eaten?" he asked as he rubbed her arm.

"No, not yet," she answered.

"Me neither," he said. "I got dressed and put some food in Bender's bowl and came racing over here," he told.

"Good thing you remembered him." She started making patterns following his chest hair.

Jesse glanced at his watch then said, "Babe, you're late for work," he told her.

"I'm not going." She shrugged. "I'll tell Christina to reschedule my meetings sometime next year. And, she'll bring me work home."

"Who are you and what have you done to Beca?" Jesse asked in mock-shock. (Beca was a bit of a workaholic and rarely ever played hooky.)

"Shut up," she chuckled. "I deserve some time off," she shrugged.

"That you do," he agreed and placed a kiss on top of her head. "I should go make you breakfast," Jesse said.

"No, stay." She clung to him.

"Believe me, Bec, I don't want to move either but you ought to eat." He held her chin up and pecked her lips.

"You're really cute when you do that," Jesse said once she pouted.

"You know I hate being called that."

Jesse tucked her hair behind her ear. "You're fucking cute and you know it and you really have to stop denying it." He grinned at her glare. "Own it, Bec."

"I'm not calling you after I watch Magic Mike part two," she told him and rolled on her other side giving him her back.

Jesse sighed then leaned in placing a kiss on her rose tattoo. "You don't really mean that," he wrapped her in his arms spooning her.

"Oh, no, I really mean it, Jesse." She snuggled up to him because despite being irritated with him she liked cuddling.

"You know you're probably the only person on this planet that gets mad when referred to as cute, right? Unless cute is an insult in another language." Jesse held her close to him and rested his cheek against hers when she tried to pull away from him.

"Who's picking up Chloe later?" Jesse asked resting his palm on her belly as he spoke.

"I am," Beca answered.

"Bec, you sure you're okay to be driving? Your episodes are very random. One minute you're fine the next you can't see right," he said in concern.

"Jesse, I learned to roll with these _episodes_ ," she sighed. "I just pull over and wait." She shrugged. "I'll make Bumper come with me," she added when she felt him tense up.

"Or he could go and pick up Chloe while you stay home," he suggested.

"No, I won't give in to it. As long as I can move I will." She clenched her jaw.

Jesse placed a kiss on her cheek knowing that there was no point in trying to change her mind. She hated feeling powerless.

* * *

 **December 31st.**

 **6:40 PM.**

"When's the baby shower?" Beca faintly heard Chloe ask.

"I don't think I'm throwing one," Beca answered as she rinsed her hair.

"Why?" Chloe wondered as she stood in front of the mirror.

"Oh, well, you know?" Beca paused. "I'm sick and could go into preterm labor any day?" she deadpanned.

"Doesn't mean you shouldn't throw a baby shower," Chloe shrugged.

"I don't wanna jinx it, I guess," Beca said as she turned off the shower faucet and put the showerhead back in its holder.

"And since when you're superstitious?" Chloe reached for her friend's bathrobe and handed it to Beca who was standing behind the curtains.

"Thanks," Beca accepted the bathrobe then wore it.

"Do you need help getting out of the bathtub?" Chloe asked watching Beca draw the curtains.

"No, I got it," Beca assured her and held on to the wall before she stepped out of the tub.

"So, no baby shower?" Chloe checked.

"Probably," Beca nodded.

"I'll get it into Jesse's head and he'll convince you," Chloe shrugged making Beca chuckle.

"Funny," she said and looked at Chloe. "That's his strategy to talk me into things," she told her and made her way to her wardrobe. "Talk to you to convince me."

"I haven't heard from Jesse since Benji and Emily's wedding," Chloe said and sat down on the bed.

"Yeah, well, it used to be his go-to way," Beca shrugged. "Remember that time Jesse wanted another dog?" She glanced at Chloe while picking what to wear. "He called you, didn't he?"

"Yeah," she affirmed. "You were really against it," Chloe recalled.

"That's because I really didn't want another dog running around the apartment!" Beca reminded her. "And, I know, Jesse, he stops using his brain when cute animals are involved. I'll be the one stuck taking care of the thing once the realization that he has two loud breathers to take care of sinks in."

"But puppies are adorable, Beca," Chloe pouted at the thought of puppies.

"Are you gonna leave so I could change?"

"No," Chloe curtly answered and smiled when Beca looked at her.

"Cool. I knew you weren't," Beca paused. "I was just checking." She held her underwear in her hand. "Great having you around, Chloe." She walked to the bathroom.

"What are you gonna wear tonight?" Chloe asked when Beca walked back into the room with her robe left open after she wore some underwear and towel dried her hair.

"Something comfortable," Beca shrugged and watched Chloe jumped off the bed and walk to the closet.

"This is cute. Wear it," Chloe pulled a white sleeveless maternity shirtdress. "And you could throw a cardigan over it," she added as she looked inside Beca's closet and pulled a crew neck black cardigan.

Beca eyed the clothes Chloe was holding then nodded. "Okay."

Chloe smiled, pleased.

"When are people gonna start showing up?"

"Around 8." Beca took off her robe then sighed when Chloe extended her hand placing it on her belly.

Beca took a power nap and was ready to stay up past 10 in the pm, her usual bedtime.

"Hey there, buddy," Chloe bent to get on eye level with her tiny friend's belly. "Mommy doesn't wanna throw you a baby shower, kick some sense into her, please," she said while rubbing her hand then smiled when she felt a movement under her palm.

"Are you done?" Beca asked when Chloe looked up.

"Just consider it." Chloe straightened up letting Beca begin to wear her clothes. "It could be fun."

"Chloe these parties are thrown like a month before the due date." She took the shirtdress from Chloe. "I don't know if I'll make 'til then," she mumbled as she wore it. "I probably won't," she added as she smoothed it down.

"Why are you so negative?" Chloe frowned. "Yeah, you're sick but you're being monitored by your doctor. I can't believe I'm the one telling you this: Beca, you need to relax."

"I can't relax. I developed this shit too early according to my doctor and I have it bad, Chloe. The meds are barely working." She ran her fingers through her damp hair and cleared her throat then inhaled deeply to control her emotions before she looked at Chloe.

Chloe rubbed her arm and gave her a small smile. "C'mon, I'll help with your hair and makeup."

* * *

Sitting half asleep on the couch, Beca tried to shake off sleep and took a sip from her lemonade. She sighed and shifted a little because sitting was becoming a source of discomfort.

Her friends were somewhere getting fucked up after Bumper showed up with bag full cannabis: they followed him like chicks following their mother because they couldn't exactly smoke weed near their, 5 months, pregnant friend.

Beca was a little envious of everyone at her house. They seemed to be having fun.

Jesse was late. He texted her telling her that he got invited by some work friend of his to a party and that he'd come in a few hours.

A few hours had past and he wasn't there yet.

Beca was taking a picture of the glass of lemonade she was holding and the few alcoholic drinks that were on the coffee table in front of her when Christina sat down next to her.

"What are you doing, boss?"

"I'm taking the subject of my first Instagram post," Beca answered as she clicked the picture.

"You should Instagram a selfie holding your drink instead," she suggested.

"Ay, ay, social media guru," Beca deadpanned as she tapped on the front camera icon.

She held the lemonade up and pouted before taking the picture.

"Thought of a caption?"

"Yep." Beca nodded. "I ain't happy, I'm feeling glad. I got sunshine in a bag," she said as she typed the lyrics from Gorillaz's Clint Eastwood as a caption. "Hashtag no hangover for this guy tomorrow or the next few months."

Christina shook her head in amusement as she sipped from her root beer.

"How are you holding up?" Beca asked after posting the picture on Instagram and making sure to share it on Twitter as well.

Christina shrugged as a reply.

"You know you don't have to stay 'til the ball drops," she reminded her. She didn't need psychic power to tell that her PA was uncomfortable surrounded by alcohol when she's trying to kick her bad habit of excessive drinking.

"I know. I like it here. You weren't kidding about Matt and throwing awesome parties."

"Yeah. It's his calling. I told him he should make a career out of it since he likes it and most importantly excels at it."

The two tilted their heads hearing a loud thumping sound followed with cheering.

"When did that happen?" Beca wondered as she eyed a blindfolded guy strike a Piñata.

"No idea." Christina shrugged.

"Ten bucks that Piñata is filled with drugs," Beca said then took a sip from her lemonade.

"You're on."

"Told you," Beca said once the man managed to break the Piñata and small plastic bags full of illegal drugs fell on the ground.

"Damn," Christina laughed and reached in her pocket.

"Dude, are you really going to give me ten bucks?"

"You called it." She shrugged.

"I would very much prefer you give me that root beer instead," Beca told her. "I really don't wanna make a trip to god knows where the root beer is being kept."

Christina handed her the bottle. "You're nothing like I thought you'd be," she confessed as she watched Beca use her palm to 'clean' the bottle before she brought it to her lips.

"I give pretentious vibes thanks to the media," Beca nodded. She got a lot of shit press for avoiding the media.

"No." Christina paused. "Jesse made you sound like an asshole," she said.

"He said that about me?" Beca arched her eyebrows in surprise.

"No. He didn't. That came off very wrong." Christina sat up. "The night I ran into him, he talked about how frustrated he was with his pregnant ex-girlfriend. He didn't say you're an asshole. I thought you were."

"Yeah. But you wouldn't have if he didn't hint at it," Beca clenched her jaw.

"Beca, he didn't," Christina said, calling her boss by her first name, which she never did.

Beca took a sip from the root beer as she frowned. "I'm gonna go check on Chloe," she said then got on her feet.

Chloe confessed to her that she hadn't partied in ages and asked Beca to watch out for her, aka make sure her hangover wouldn't be so bad the next day. Also, Beca knew she had to get her mind off the annoyance she was feeling so chasing Chloe around to keep her hydrated sounded like an awesome way to occupy herself.

"Beca," Chloe grinned spotting her best friend then made her way to her. "I was looking for you."

"Oh yeah?" Beca sighed when Chloe hugged her upon reaching her.

"Yeah, Stacie just suggested a game that you could play. It's not physically demanding." She pulled away and grabbed Beca's hand.

"What is it?" Beca asked as she took Chloe's lead.

"I forgot how it goes." Chloe shrugged. "C'mon, Stacie will tell you."

* * *

"Guys, I think I'm gonna call it a night," Beca said after stifling a yawn.

"You can't go to bed now. It's 11:20," Chloe told her. "New year is in forty minutes."

"Perfect. I'll take a thirty-minute nap then," she shrugged then managed to get up.

"You okay?" Stacie asked when Beca rested a hand on the wall and held her head.

"Yeah, I just stood up too fast," Beca said.

"You're really gonna go nap?" Chloe stood up as well and held on to the wall for different reasons.

"I'm tired."

"Stay until midnight then go to bed?" Chloe gave her puppy eyes.

Beca sighed then nodded. "Okay." She smiled once Chloe grinned.

"Awes." She paused. "Where are you going?"

"Bathroom," Beca answered then started making her way to the closet bathroom.

On her way, she spotted Jesse who she had been ignoring ever since he got there. She was still very annoyed. She tried to let it go. She told herself it wasn't worth getting mad. But it didn't work. The fact that he complained to a then stranger Christina about her and made her out to be an asshole was irksome.

So, she just decided to ignore him until she calmed down.

"Fuck," she muttered when he saw her.

"Beca," he called as he made his way to her. "Beca, wait!" She heard him say as she continued to walk to the bathroom.

She tilted her head and pointed at the bathroom she was a few feet away from and he nodded.

Beca entered the bathroom knowing she'd have to talk to him once she got out.

"Are you still mad about yesterday morning?" Jesse frowned when he noted her facial expression.

"What? No."

"Then why are you ignoring me?" he asked as he blocked her way.

"I'm not ignoring you," she denied.

"I'm pretty sure you are," he disagreed. "So, what's up? What did I do?"

She didn't reply.

Jesse rubbed his face. "You complain about the lack of communication between us then you go and shut me out when you're mad."

"I am not shutting you out," she said defensively.

"Then tell me why you spent the last hour ignoring me."

"Why does everything have to be about you?" she asked as she rubbed her temples.

"Um. Not everything is about me." He paused. "But in this case, it is about me otherwise you wouldn't be ignoring me."

Jesse wasn't mad. He just learned his lesson. The main reason they differed apart was the lack of communication, which was mainly his fault, and he was trying to fix it. He wasn't going to back down despite knowing that it could end in a fight, which he really hate.

"You okay?" He watched lean against the wall for support.

"Jesse, I can't see," she told him as she blinked.

"What?"

"I can't fucking see!" she exclaimed.

"Okay, calm down. I read about it. It's not unusual for someone with severe pre-eclampsia," he assured her as he tried not to freak out himself.

"It'll pass, Becs," he told her and reached for her hand.

"This never happened before." She took his hand and held it tightly.

"Try to calm down." He pulled her to him and hugged her. "Do what you usually do when you get dizzy or see double," he told her while stroking her hair.

She closed her eyes and rested her head on his chest, inhaling deeply and exhaling in an attempt to calm herself while he whispered sweet nothings in her ear.

"Did it pass?" he asked when Beca pulled her head back and opened her eyes.

"Yeah," she said in relief.

"Good," he smiled and cupped her cheek, rubbing his thumb against her cheekbone then placed a kiss on her forehead.

"Where are you going?" she asked when he removed his arms from around her.

"I'm making you're angry. And anger isn't good for you." He rubbed the back of his neck. "Come find me when you're no longer mad at me," he told her then turned on his heels.

* * *

"Beca." Beca heard Stacie call so she tilted her head. She saw her make her way to her. "You wouldn't believe who just showed up," she said.

"Who?" Beca wondered.

"Your nurse," Stacie chuckled.

"My what?"

"The nurse dude you went on a date with. I just saw him. How does he know where you live?"

"I got dizzy and he offered to drive me home," Beca told her as she scratched her head. "Who are you texting?" she wondered as she watched Stacie type on her phone.

"Andrew. He just finished his shift. He's here. I told him he could come."

"Wait what?" Beca dropped her hand. "Stacie, level with me," she held her friend's shoulders. "There's a shit load of illegal drugs here. And, he's a cop."

"I should go keep him from coming up?" Stacie guessed after a beat.

"Yeah," Beca nodded. "Don't let him come up."

Beca watched Stacie make her way to the elevator then started looking for Rafael who she didn't remember inviting.

"Beca, hey!" Rafael said once she found him.

"Hey," she smiled.

"You look gorgeous," he complimented after eyeing her from head to toe.

"Thanks." She rested her hands on her belly.

"I was around the neighborhood then I saw that you're throwing a party and thought I'd come and say hi and now I just realized that I shouldn't have because I'm basically crushing your party," he clicked his tongue.

"You happened to be in the neighborhood. That's quite the coincidence," she remarked.

"Okay, fine. I wasn't in the neighborhood. I was clubbing then I happened to check twitter and saw that you uploaded a picture on Instagram."

"How did you come to know that it's here?"

"I didn't. I drove my friend to another party nearby then decided to take this way because there's less traffic," he explained. "Then I saw that there's a party."

"Okay, creepy," Beca nodded not buying a word he said but not caring enough to argue with him nor kick him out. "Can I get you a drink?" she shrugged.

"No, I'm driving," he declined.

"There's soda if you want," she told him.

"Yeah, soda sounds great," he smiled stuffing his hands in his pockets and followed her lead.

* * *

"Thanks," he accepted a coke can from her. "So, how's it going?" he wondered as he popped the can open.

"Okay, I guess," Beca shrugged.

"Um, I didn't hear from you," he nervously said.

"Yeah." Beca leaned against the wall.

"I thought the date went well despite the part where I creeped you out."

"It did go well." She paused. "But, we didn't plan a second date, did we?"

"Nope," he admitted.

She smiled tightly at him then glanced at her watch to find that's 11:55 pm. She knew she had to get away from him because she really didn't want to end up kissing Rafael. She found herself wondering when that tradition started as she thought of how to leave.

"I need to go find my friend," she told him.

"Oh, okay," he nodded and watched her walk away. "I can help you find your friend," he followed her.

"No, it's okay. I got it," she glanced at him.

"I don't mind," he told her and sipped from his soda. "What does your friend look like?" he asked.

"Redhead. Her eyes are baby blue like yours," she told him.

"What is she wearing?" he wondered as he looked around.

"White shirt and a black skirt," Beca told him then looked around the room. She frowned when she saw Jesse and Christina on the terrace looking like they were arguing and felt a little guilty thinking it was her fault because of what Christina told her.

Beca decided to go and find out what was happening then looked up feeling a hand on her shoulder.

"Beca the ball is about to drop," Rafael told her as he looked at the TV screen.

"Yeah," she nodded and shrugged his hand off and didn't tear her eyes off Jesse and Christina. "Look, I gotta go," she looked up.

"Wait!" he said. "I know I keep on doing things that qualify for red flags but it's just 'cause I like you _so much_ I hardly ever think before I act. And I'm sorry if I made you uncomfortable."

"Yeah, it's okay. No worried. I get how crushes work," she assured him turning to look at him.

"Thank God," he sighed a sigh of relief. "I really thought I blew it," he grinned.

"Oh, no, that's not what meant," she said then grimaced when people started doing the countdown.

"Beca, I can't hear you," Rafael loudly said.

"I said, that's not what meant," she repeated, leaning up so he could hear her. "I don't want to—"

Rafael cut her off with a kiss once the ball dropped.

Beca pulled away almost instantly and pushed him away from her.

"Shit, I messed up again, didn't I?" He ran his fingers through his hair and blew a breath. "Beca, I'm—" he cut himself off when she held a finger up and turned on her heels.

Beca looked at the terrace and didn't see Jesse nor Christina. She looked around until she found Jesse. He was looking at her and he had a hurt look on his face, which let her know that he saw her kissing Rafael.

She was about to go and explain what just happened but didn't when he started to pace away, headed to the elevator.

* * *

Jesse rested his head against the elevator wall and closed his eyes willing himself to not think about his personal life and be a good sponsor and friend to Christina because she needed him.

He nodded at the doorman as he walked towards the entrance, hoping to catch up with Christina.

"Hey, did you see which way Christina went?" Jesse asked finding Stacie leaning against a police car while a police officer stood next to her.

"Beca's PA," he added.

"You mean the five foot six woman wearing jeans and leather jacket that just paced out of the building?"

"Yeah, her," Jesse nodded.

"She went that way," Andrew gestured with his hand.

"When did you notice all this?" Stacie wondered.

"Part of my job," he shrugged.

"Thanks, officer," Jesse thanked him and began running down the street.

"Christina, wait," Jesse called when he spotted her. She glanced at him and continued to walk. He ran even faster and caught up with her.

"Jesse, it's okay, go. I can handle it," she assured him as she slipped her phone into her pocket.

"Who was that on the phone?" he asked. "Why did you pick up?" he wondered as he ran his fingers through his hair figuring who had called her when she avoided eye contact.

"I appreciate the help but I can handle it. Back off," she said in irritation.

"No. I won't back off," he shook his head then tilted his head hearing a motorcycle pull over near them.

"Is this him?" Jesse asked.

He got his answer when the man got off the motorcycle and said, "cmon, Chrissie."

"She's not coming with you," Jesse stood in front of Christina to keep her from going.

"Who is he?" the unknown man asked Christina.

"He's none of your business," she said and walked past Jesse.

"Christina, I can't believe you're going to throw everything you've accomplished away," Jesse said in frustration.

"Spencer, let's go," she grabbed his arm when he kept looking at Jesse.

"Christina, think about how things were when you spend Christmas with your godfather," Jesse continued to say.

"Is he the one that's been keeping you sober?" Spencer wondered as he shrugged Christina's hand off then made his way to Jesse. "Stay away from her," he spat.

"I'd say the same to you," Jesse shrugged not feeling threatened by the man who wouldn't even take off his helmet.

"I understand that you won't stay away?" he checked. Jesse nodded.

"You will now," he said and quickly pulled a gun and shot Jesse in the stomach.

Jesse looked down at himself in shock unable to move for several seconds before he could register the fact that he just got shot.

Jesse tried to move and he fell to his knees and began jerking as he began to feel the intense pain in the shot area.

"What?" Spencer said when he looked at Christina who was too shocked to move.

"You're insane," she mumbled then paced to Jesse getting on her knees.

"He'll be fine. Just call 911 and let's get going."

"You're insane," she repeated as she looked at Jesse not knowing how to help him.

"Are you kidding me right now?" he said in disbelief.

"I'm so sorry, Jesse," she apologized hearing him stutter a bunch of incoherent words.

"NYPD." They heard Andrew say as he ran their way while holding his gun. "You're under arrest."

Spencer shook his head disbelief and got on his motorcycle and took off.

"Did you catch the license plate?" Andrew asked her as he got on his knees and proceeded to give Jesse first aid.

"Ma'am?" he looked up after lying Jesse on his back. She shook her head and watched Andrew call for an ambulance while putting pressure on the wound.

* * *

 **AN:** dun, dun, dun! Hit me up with your thoughts on what I just made you read. How do you think this would affect Beca?


	20. Chapter 19

**Jesse's POV.**

I don't think I've ever felt this cold before. I'm not a winter person. I grew up and lived in L.A. until my late twenty. I couldn't handle the cold weather when I first moved to New York and I'm still struggling because it gets so fucking cold here. (Guess you could say I'm still _warming_ up to it.)

But never this cold.

Voices were distant. I could faintly hear the guy bending over me and talking to someone else. Christina maybe? She was there last time I checked. I mean before everything got so damn cold and fuzzy I heard her apologize.

For what exactly?

She didn't do this to me. What was his name? Yeah, Spencer. Spencer did this.

I guess she could have been apologizing for not telling me that he's bat-shit crazy. Then again, I should have figured that part out since she said that they met at her shrink's waiting room. Stereotypes aren't all wrong after all, right?

Beca is gonna be so pissed at me for not being careful. Beca. I love that weirdo. Shit, pissed at me aside, this could really fuck things up. Beca can't know I got hurt. It could hurt her and Joseph.

I tried to tell the person, who was really pressing hard on my stomach and that I can't for the life of me see clearly, to keep this from Beca but it was so hard especially when this sudden sleepiness washed over me.

The fainted voices stopped without prior notice and it was confusing how everything just started to fade.

 **MCMXXXIX**

* * *

"Where am I?" wondered Beca the second she opened her eyes. She blinked to get rid of the initial blurriness and realized she was in a hospital room. Confused, she aimlessly looked for the nurse call button and was successful. She very weakly pressed the button and waited.

A nurse was in the room in no time and checked her vitals.

"What happened?" Beca asked her while the nurse measured her blood pressure.

"Ma'am, you fainted due to a sudden rise in your blood pressure," the nurse was saying as removed the cuff from around Beca's arm.

"Is the baby okay?"

Beca let out a breath when the woman standing near her bed nodded. "Dr. Daly will be with you as soon as possible to answer all your questions," the nurse said before she left the room.

Beca waited for what seemed like forever before a doctor stepped into the room and in the meantime, everything from the night before came back to her.

She watched Jesse walk away and wanted to throw a temper tantrum at Rafael for kissing her but soon saw how pointless it would be so she just walked away from him and told a drunk Chloe what happened. Chloe encouraged her to go after Jesse and she took her advice not because she was very convinced but because Chloe dragged her to the elevator. Once they were outside they heard an ambulance making its way to the end of the street and figured they go see what was happening. She saw Jesse being carried on the gurney and vaguely remembered what happened next and figured that passing out had a hand in it.

"Good morning, Ms. Mitchell," the doctor greeted as he picked up her patient chart. "I'm Dr. Daly."

"Morning." She wanted to ask about Jesse but was too scared of what he could tell her.

"Are you currently suffering from a headache?" he asked her and shifted his attention from the chart to her.

"No."

He nodded and stepped closer to her after placing the chart in its place.

"Double vision, abdominal pain, seeing spots, sensitive to lightning." Beca shook her head at every one of the symptoms.

"It was blurry when I first woke up but it went away in a few seconds," she told him as he cupped her face gently pressing his thumb against her skin.

"Ms. Mitchell, if you weren't admitted as soon as you were last night your pre-eclampsia would have turned into an eclampsia," he informed her, let go of her face, took her hands in his, and did the same thing. "You were given magnesium sulfate intravenously in order to stabilize your blood pressure, and you still are."

Beca nodded as she eyed the IV in her arm.

"The baby and I are still at risk, aren't we?" she asked watching the way the spot he'd pull pressure on with his thumbs turn white.

"Yes," he apologetically said letting go of her hands. "Which is why you're going on bed rest until the baby is delivered."

"Bed rest," she said in surprise.

"I hope you understand the risks," he checked. "Last night you could have had a seizure."

"No, of course, I understand," she assured him. "When will he be delivered?" she asked.

"If you stop responding to the treatment we can't risk your life: A delivery will be accomplished."

She held her head and blew a breath. "When will we know if I'm responding to the treatment on the long run?" she wondered and looked up.

"For _now_ you've been stabilized. The baby is fine. You will be closely monitored to make sure you stay stable. There's no way to determine whether you will continue to respond to the treatment. We can't let you reach your due date because the complications of your illness are life threatening." He paused. "The baby will be delivered as soon as possible."

"When is that exactly?" Beca wondered pushing back tears.

"It all depends on your health, Ms. Mitchell."

"What about Jesse?" she asked him. "Where is he? He's still alive, right?"

"Mr. Swanson was lucky officer Michaelson was there," he began to tell her. "He was quick enough to keep him from losing too much blood before medical help arrived."

"So, he's okay?" she checked getting more emotional.

"Yes. My colleague Dr. Rettner did her best."

"When can I see him?" she wondered feeling relieved.

"Right now Mr. Swanson is unconscious."

"I don't care if he's not awake. I wanna see him."

"Ma'am, you're on bed rest," he reminded her. "Hospital bed rest, that is."

Powerless, Beca clenched her jaw and ran her fingers through her hair then nodded when the doctor kept looking at her.

* * *

 **Jesse's POV**

Why am I so tried and why does everything feel so numb?

This is confusing.

Hold up, what's that beeping?

I opened my eyes and looked at the source: one of those heart machines.

Oh, I am at a hospital, I realized. I tried to sit up but it didn't seem possible with the fucking numbness all over my upper half.

I gave up trying to sit up and reached for the nurse call button. A nurse soon came and asked me if I'm feeling alright.

I nodded—I think I did. I'm not sure. Everything felt weird and my head felt heavy.

It wasn't long until the confusion started to fade as I recalled the events of the night before.

Beca was mad at me for some reason. I tried to get to the bottom of it but it was affecting her health so I dropped it. I went to check on Christina. I found her texting that crazy fucker who shot me in the fucking stomach. She told me about him before and just forgot to mention the part when he's not stable.

She said they met at her psychologist's office and bonded over their issues.—Now that I think about it, I should have figured out the not stable part.— She said he understood her. And, she was almost always drunk when they were together. After sobering up, they stopped hanging out together because he'd always pull her back into drinking whenever she tried to knock it.

I knew he was a bad influence on her so I tried to keep her from seeing him because I also knew she was feeling low and he made her feel better.

I tried to talk some sense into her but it didn't work and she just left.

I was following her when I saw Beca pushing the man she was just kissing away from her. Pushing him meant she didn't want to be kissing him but still hurt to see her kissing someone else.

I couldn't stay any longer because Christina needed me so I went after her.

Then comes the part where I got shot by none other than Christina's booty call slash pity party companion slash psycho.

"Mr. Swanson." I heard a female voice call so I opened my eyes to see a doctor standing in front of me.

"Yeah?" I replied and tried to move again rubbing my face when I could lift my arm.

I tried to carefully listen as the doctor explained what happened to me. Something about lucking out because of the caliber of the bullet. .22 was it? She continued telling me details about the surgery she performed on me and I was hardly keeping track.

"I'm sorry," I interrupted. "Where's Beca?" I had to know.

"Ms. Mitchell," she started to say checking. I nodded.

"Did you tell her about this? If you did please tell me that she and the baby are okay. Beca has a pre- eclampsia and this news wouldn't be good for her heath."

"Ms. Mitchell was admitted to the hospital same time as you were. To my knowledge, she had been stabilized."

"Where is she? I have to go see her." I pushed myself up.

"Mr. Swanson, you need to rest."

"I'll be fine," I assured her and winced as I tried to swing my feet off the bed.

"Once the morphine completely wears off you will be in a humongous amount of pain _if_ you don't stay in bed." I heard her warn.

"I'm sure it wouldn't be as bad as the pain of getting shot," I deadpanned. "Fuck," I swore when my feet failed me the moment I tried to stand.

"Mr. Swanson, you need to rest," the doctor repeated herself and supported my weight.

"I need to see Beca," I insisted as she laid me back on the bed.

 **MCMXIV**

* * *

Beca was laying on her side like the doctor ordered, wondering how long would she have to wait until she got to see Jesse.

She also wondered why the hell weren't her friends at the hospital then figured they were too hungover to function or were sent home for being too loud or both.

Besides, it was too early and visiting hours didn't start until 11:00 am. They wouldn't let them in anyway.

Hearing a knock on the door, she looked up and frowned seeing that it was her PA Christina at the doorway.

"Morning, boss," she greeted as she looked around before stepping inside the room.

"Hey," Beca said as she shifted a little. "What are you doing here? And how did you get here?" she wondered.

"I know the girls at reception. Guess you could say I spent enough time here to know the staff," she shrugged. "I came over to explain what happened with Jesse."

"Oh, a cop came and filled me in on what happened," Beca told her.

"I know the guy that shot Jesse," Christina blurted. "I told the cops everything I know about him and I thought you deserve to know as well."

"You know him? Like you personally know him?"

"Yep." Christina took a seat on the chair near Beca's bed. "His name is Spencer. I met him over a year and a half ago at my shrink's office," she uneasily started to say. "We kinda became friends I guess. I found it comforting to know someone struggling with what I thought was the same issue." She looked up and found Beca eyeing her looking very focused.

"A month prior meeting him, I had run over a kid with my car because I was busying arguing over the phone to see him crossing the street. Spencer told me had also run over someone with his bike and I thought it was the reason he was also in therapy. We started hanging out a lot. Drinking a lot." She paused and stood up scratching her head.

"I didn't even realize that drinking became a problem and he didn't care enough to point it out." She shrugged, dropping her hand, and started walking around the room.

"Whenever I get a reality check from my godfather and I try to get it together he'd be there to pull me back." She inhaled and glanced at Beca. "I'm not blaming him for how things turned out for me. It's my fault. I just should have stopped hanging out with him." She tucked some locks of her hair behind her ear.

"If it weren't for Jesse's help I would have gone to see Spencer the moment I started to feel bad again. Spencer, of course, didn't like being shut out." She swallowed before looking at Beca. "If I continued to ignore him Jesse wouldn't have gotten hurt."

"You said you thought he was in therapy because he ran over someone," Beca noted.

"Yeah, that's what I thought." She nodded. "Until one night he told me he was actually there because the voices made him slap his landlord."

"Voices?" Beca frowned.

"He's schizophrenic, Beca," Christina sighed and rubbed her face.

"Hey, it's not your fault," Beca said meeting Christina's gaze. "You didn't pull the trigger. He did. And he's also sick and needs help. There is no reason to blame yourself," she told her knowing what guilt would do to her. "And Jesse's fine."

"But you're not," Christina deadpanned.

"I'll be fine," Beca smiled at her despite not believing the words that came out of her own mouth.

* * *

 **Jesse's POV**

Yeah, this sucks balls. I officially hate being powerless. I've been lying in bed plotting how I was going to go see Beca for two days, damn it!

The plan sounded doable in theory but I knew it was going to be hard.

I just had to walk across the room and get out then use the wheelchair right in front of my room, which I can see from my bed, to get to the reception desk and ask about Beca's room and hope they don't ask too many questions.

As I said, doable in theory. But because of the way I'd wince when I barely move I knew it was gonna hurt.

I kinda had an idea of what time it was because Chloe, Stacie, Amy, and Bumper had left when visiting hours ended so I knew it was late in the pm. They took turns going between Beca and myself and assured me she was okay and refused to tell me what room she was staying in because they are suddenly all super level headed and weren't going to let me get out of bed. Nevertheless, their reassuring words weren't enough I had to see Beca as soon as possible.

Okay, here we go.

Standing up was a success.

I carefully walked towards to door, which was quite hard to pull off, but I did it. I bit back a yelp when I sat down too fast then began wheeling my way to the elevator.

Luck was on my side because I made it to the reception.

I was on fire!

The plan was going as planned.

"Sir, you're not supposed to be here," the nurse at the reception desk said once she took a good look at me after I had asked her about Beca's room.

"Look, I have to see her." As I looked into the nurse's eyes, I knew I had to step up my game if I wanted her to let me go see Beca. "She's my everything and she needs me…" I proceeded to give the nurse an improvised speech where I poured my heart and soul into every word as to why I had to go see Beca.

"Please," I pleaded and watched her look away from me to think. I smiled when she called another nurse on duty to wheel me to Beca's room.

"Becs," I called once we reached the room. "Beca, are you up?" I asked in a low voice seeing that she was laying on her side and I couldn't see her face.

"Jesse," Beca said in surprise and tilted her head. I told the nurse that I got it and wheeled myself to the side of her bed that was a little higher that the wheelchair. Not a problem. I stood up despite how painful it was and held her hand when she sat up.

"What are you doing here?" she asked in a cracking voice.

"You didn't think I wouldn't come see you, did you?" I sat down on the bed.

She could tell that moving hurt so she sat up and scooted as closer as the IV she was hooked to let her.

"They told me you needed to rest," she was saying before she leaned in and kissed me.

"I can't rest. I had to come see you," I told her pulling away.

"When I saw you lying cold I thought I lost you, Jesse," she cried.

"Hey, hey, hey." I wiped her tears away and held her chin up. "I'm still here, Becs. I'm not planning on going anyway." She kissed me again, pulled her hand from my hold, and rested it on my shoulder then my neck as if she were making sure I was really there with her.

"How bad is it?" she asked pulling away. "You were bleeding a lot. I know they kept shit from me."

"Tis but a scratch," I quoted the black knight from Monty Python and the Holy Grail and hoped she'd get the reference. She laughed in spite of herself at the reference.

"How are you, Becs? They told me you're stable now." I stroked her cheek.

"Yeah. This is keeping my blood pressure down." She sniffed nodding at the IV.

"Does it hurt?" I asked.

"It's uncomfortable," she shrugged. "Which is fine considering the fact it's basically the only way Joseph is still in the womb." She used the back of her hand to wipe her nose. "Um, I wanted to come and see you but I'm on fucking bed rest."

I knew she was on bed rest.

"Well, at least now that you don't have a choice: you will watch movies with me!" I said making her chuckle. "Joseph, buddy." I leaned down and ignored the pain the movement caused. "Joseph, daddy is here," I said once I was on eye level with Beca's belly. "I'm sorry I almost screwed things up for you and mommy," I apologized.

"And yourself." I heard Beca mumble.

"I'm sorry, Bec." I sat up.

"You were just trying to help," she sighed as she scanned my face.

"Sir, you need to go back to bed." We heard the nurse, whom I forgot was there, say.

"Two nights ago, I saw him lay lifeless as paramedics tried to keep him alive." Beca paused to swallow. "I almost lost my baby and his father on the same night. So, I think you'd understand if I asked you to leave us alone for a while longer," Beca said to the nurse and did nothing to stop the tears that were falling.

The nurse looked between Beca, who looked like she was ready to put up a fight, and me, who I'm pretty sure looked great and not like I was about to die, then nodded before she left the room.

"Jesse, you need to go catch some sleep and _heal_ ," she told me and wiped the sweat that was forming on my forehead because of the pain that I thought I was hiding from her.

"I know," I nodded. "Bed rest huh?" I took her IV free hand and interlocked our fingers.

"Total bed rest," she sighed.

"So, you won't be leaving the hospital?" I placed a kiss on her hair, breathing her in.

"I don't think I will be anytime soon." I knew from her tone that things were very serious and made a mental note to have a detailed talk with the doctor in charge about Beca's health.

"We should get a private room then," I said after a beat and wiped her cheeks.

"Dude, what part of total bed rest you don't get?" she questioned in amusement at my suggestive tone.

"That's not what I meant," I smiled; glad I was cheering her up a little. "Private room so we can watch movies. 'Cause it would cause a disturbance to the other patient in the room," I explained.

"No movies, Jesse."

"Yes movies, Beca." I squeezed her hand.

 **MDCCLXXVI**

* * *

 **AN:** I thought I'd do some point of view for this chapter to take the dramatics down a notch. I hope it worked. Thank you for reading. There will probably be 2 more chapters to this story depending on how much I'll end up writing and how much I could jam into one chapter—very serious storytelling techniques as I'm sure you can tell.

 _PS: the random roman number are random historical dates I used to indicate the end of the POV of Jesse. I have no idea why I did that instead of just writing end POV. As I'm writing this I realize that it's a pretty odd call to make but ain't gonna go back change them now._

 **FADE OUT.**


	21. Chapter 20

"I give up," Beca shrugged as she placed the two needles and yarn on her lap.

"But you've only just begun, honey," Nicole, her mother, said in amusement.

"I know you find this funny but it's not, mom. I'm really bored," Beca whined.

"Then get back to whatever it is you're trying to knit." Her mom gestured with her hand at the materials on her daughter's lap as she brought her cup of coffee to her lips.

"It's supposed to be a scarf," Beca told her as she tried to pick up where she left off.

"You don't know what you're doing, do you?" Nicole chuckled.

Beca sighed then looked up. "I'll just ask Sheila to show me again," she said, running her fingers through her hair.

"Just let her knit the scarf," Nicole suggested and held back a chuckle at how frustrated Beca was before her eyes fell on the fainted bruise that the IV needle left her daughter's forearm.

"No, I'll figure it out eventually." Beca leaned against the pillows then looked up hearing a knock on the door.

"Hello," Rafael greeted as he awkwardly waved.

"Rafael," Beca said in surprise. "Hi." She glanced at her mother whose head was tilted towards the door.

"Um, I hope I'm not intruding," he carefully said.

"No, of course not," Beca assured him.

"I just wanted to come and see how you're doing." He stepped into the room. "And properly apologize," he continued to say.

"Dude, it's fine," Beca was quick to say. "Um, mom, this is Rafael. He's a friend," she introduced him to her mother.

"Pleasure meeting you, ma'am," Rafael smiled at the older woman who smiled back at him. "And, here's your get well soon gift." He extended a paper bag towards Beca.

"Thanks," she accepted the bag from him and reached inside it. Pulling the content of the bag, she read the label, "Thermax Warming Cream for Cold Hands and Feet by Verseo."

She looked up and eyed him with confusion, wondering how he came to know that she had a bad blood circulation that made her feet always cold.

"You tweeted about it," he said as if he was reading her mind and she nodded.

"Well, thank you," she thanked him. "This is really useful," she genuinely smiled at him and watched his smile turn into a grin.

"Awesome." He slipped his hands into his pockets then looked towards Nicole whose phone rang.

"It's your aunt," she looked at Beca.

"Last time I almost fell asleep," Beca shook her head. "Her health lectures are ridiculously long and so boring."

"I'll tell her you're asleep then," Nicole sighed and got up walking out of the room to speak on the phone.

"I'm gonna get going," Rafael looked back at Beca.

"Thanks for this again," Beca thanked him as she nodded at the warming cream.

"Yeah, no problem. You just get better."

"What are you doing here?" Both Beca and Rafael looked at the source: Jesse who was standing in the doorway looking anything but pleased.

"Um, I just came to see how Beca is doing," Rafael spoke slowly as he eyed Jesse.

"Jesus, man, she's not interested," Jesse spat out.

"Jesse," Beca hissed at his rudeness.

"No, Beca, I saw how you pushed him." He glanced at Beca before looking back at Rafael. "Take a fucking hint."

"Hey, are you okay, man?" Rafael asked, his profession taking over him once he noted pale Jesse looked and the way he was sweating.

"I'm fine," Jesse attempted to shrug and winced. Rafael tried to check Jesse's pulse but couldn't when Jesse pushed his hand away.

"Just leave," Jesse told him straightening up despite the pain.

"I was actually leaving. And I would go lay down if I were you—is there any bleeding?" He tried to look behind the jacket that hid Jesse's stomach.

Jesse was going to ignore him then saw the way Beca was glaring at him and unzipped his jacket and pulled up his sweatshirt to let Rafael see the gunshot wound.

"Looks fine," Rafael announced as he eyed Jesse's stomach not daring to touch him.

Jesse dropped his sweatshirt and watched Rafael straighten up.

"Right," Rafael nodded and tilted his head to look at Beca who was glaring at Jesse. "Get well soon," he said then stepped out of the room.

"What the hell was that?" Beca asked as she continued to glare at Jesse.

"I don't know what kind of games he's trying to play because actions speak louder than words, Beca. If he didn't understand your body language then something is wrong with him—"

"—Jesus Christ," Beca said under her breath as she held her head and shook it. "He was here to apologize."

"Sure," Jesse snorted.

"You didn't have to be such an asshole to him," Beca mumbled.

"Why do you suddenly care so much?" he found himself wondering as he frowned.

"What are you trying to say, Jesse?" she asked trying not to let him get on her nerves because he was acting weird and very unlike himself.

"Nothing," he said deciding to drop it. Beca grimaced feeling his pain when he held onto the wall in pain.

"Are you okay, Jesse?" Nicole asked in concern as she stepped into the room after finishing her phone call.

"Yeah," he nodded and straightened up. "It's just that it hurts when I move any muscle," he waved his hand as he explained without moving his arm much.

"Have you been lifting things, Jesse?" Beca knowingly asked.

"It's out of impulse," he started to say. "Sam came running towards me and I couldn't not leap her up in my arms," he told her as he sat down next to Beca on the bed.

"Dude, you can't do that. You just got the fucking stitches off, Jesse!"

"Beca, he just told you it's an impulse. He didn't mean to cause himself harm," Nicole carefully said noting the way her daughter was getting irritated with Jesse's careless behavior.

"No, she's right." Jesse sighed. "I scared Sam." He scratched his stubble. "I yelped so hard, she cried thinking it's her fault," he said sounding bitter at himself then jumped in his seat hearing someone drop a crutch in the hallway.

"Hey, it's okay," Beca softly said as she reached for his hand. "You're fine," she told figuring the way he was acting was the effect of the trauma that being shot caused was starting to show.

Jesse rubbed his face with his free hand then sighed nodding his head when she squeezed his hand weakly.

"Hey, what was your friend apologizing for and you interrupted him?" Nicole wondered as she leaned against her chair once they fell into a silence.

Jesse looked up and Beca resisted the urge to roll her eyes because her mother had to be the most observant person ever.

"He didn't know I'm with Jesse and kissed me," Beca lied to her mother feeding her curiosity and noted the flicker of anger in Jesse's eyes that her words caused.

Nicole nodded and frowned eyeing Jesse before she glanced at her daughter to see if she was aware of Jesse's state to find her already watching him.

* * *

"Jesse, the man of the hour," Bumper exclaimed as he hopped next to Jesse on the couch.

(Having Nicole in New York, it was best if Jesse spent the nights at Beca's house to avoid questions. There was that and the fact that he needed someone to look after him.)

"What are you watching?" Bumper asked when Jesse glanced at him and looked back the TV screen that was currently playing commercials while he scratched his dog's muzzle that was also staying at Beca's place.

"Family Guy," Jesse answered.

Bumper nodded. "Have you eaten yet?" he wondered.

"Bumper, you don't have to babysit me," Jesse sighed.

"I am not babysitting you," Bumper casually said. "I'm ordering dinner and wanted to know if I should order for you too."

"Alright, what are you ordering?" Jesse asked.

"Chicken wings for Amy, Thai for Beca's mom and Stacie, and Chinese for myself." He paused. "What will it be?"

"Pepperoni pizza," Jesse said because it was on top of his head.

"Okay." Bumper nodded and looked at Jesse when he grunted trying to get comfortable. "You okay there, man?" he asked.

"Does it matter?" Jesse deadpanned.

"Yeah. It does matter a great deal."

"Well, I constantly feel like shit and I'm making the people I love feel like shit." He pressed a cushion against his stomach because the doctor told him it would minimize the ache before he sat up. "Oh, and I heard Beca tell Chloe she's not sure feels the same way I feel about her. So that was great to hear." Jesse found himself thinking of the day he overheard Chloe and Beca's conversation.

 _Jesse had discharged himself from the hospital four days after he had gotten shot, he went to see his daughter then made a stop by a food truck and got Beca's favorite food, Falafel, and went back to the hospital. (He, of course, asked her doctor if she was okay to eat it first.)_

 _He was checking the falafel to see it was still warm as he walked towards Beca's room. Jesse smiled hearing Beca talking with Chloe then stopped in his tracks when he heard Chloe ask in confusion, "What do you mean you're still working on it?"_

 _Jesse wouldn't usually eavesdrop but couldn't stop himself. He leaned against the wall as he heard Beca say, "it means what it means. We still have issues. Almost dying doesn't change the truth."_

" _Wow," Jesse muttered when he figured what was the topic of discussion was his and Beca's relationship._

" _And what's this truth you speak of?" Chloe wondered._

" _The fact that I'm still not sure if I want to get back with Jesse for good. I mean I know I care so much about him. But I'd be lying if I didn't admit that I'm not sure if I'm in love with him."_

" _With the way you're all over each other I thought you have figured your shit out," Chloe deadpanned._

" _We're working on it, Chloe," Beca said in irritation._

Jesse scratched his stubble as he about that day. True they haven't sat down and talked about their relationship but he thought they had made some notable progress and hearing her say those words to Chloe broke his spirit a lot more than he'd like to admit.

Jesse snapped out of his thought when Bender jumped from the couch.

"Dude, you and Beca have been through a lot and still are going through a lot. I wouldn't wanna be in either of one your shoes and not because they won't fit 'cause I'm talking about the figurative sense of the sentence." Bumper paused when Jesse tilted his head to look at him. "You just focus on what's on your plate right now—again figurative speech—"

"And what is on my plate right now exactly?" Jesse asked.

"That would be getting better." Bumper carefully patted his shoulder and got up.

* * *

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* * *

As he stood in the hospital elevator, Jesse eyed his reflection on the door. It had been seven weeks since the accident and he looked like shit. Beca pointed it out the last time he went to see her which was the day before.

Deep down, he knew something was wrong with him and time proved him right. As hard as it was to admit or believe, he could feel himself getting worse very slowly, no matter how much he tried to deny it and put up a front, he knew he had developed issues. He, of course, tried to smile and joke about his state in front of Beca; pretend he was A-OK because she really didn't need to know about the night terrors and the random anxiety attacks. He had to make sure she stayed stable and had their baby when the doctor saw fit which happened to be today.

Yes. Their baby boy was supposed to be delivered today which also happened to be his birthday, which was Beca's choice— the doctor told her they were going to have to deliver him so she asked if she could pick the day— Jesse was touched by her choice. And he was also proud of her because she managed to keep their boy in the womb despite the odds. Their baby would have been delivered as soon as Beca got to the third trimester but with close monitoring, she made it a month into the third trimester. She knew she wouldn't be able to carry him throughout the entire pregnancy because it threatened her life and his by default so a month was a success.

Jesse found Beca biting her nails as she looked at the floor lost in her thoughts.

"Morning," he greeted and snapped her out of her thoughts.

"Oh, Jesse, hi," she looked up. "I didn't hear you come in," she admitted.

"Yeah, you were elsewhere. I saw that." He made his way to the bed and sat down on the space she made for him.

"I had a lot of free time the past almost two months," she sighed. "To think and overthink about everything that pops in my head." He smiled at her when she looked him in the eye then watched her reach and grab a large box that was near her.

"Happy birthday," she said to him as she held the box his way.

"You didn't have to," he told her as he accepted the box.

"I had Bumper go and buy it," she told him watching him open it and chuckle when he saw the content.

"Awesome, this is," Jesse said doing his above average impression of Yoda as he held the Yoda back bag she got him. "Thankful, I am," he continued and got her to roll her eyes.

"C'mere, nerd," she said gesturing for him to get closer and he obliged.

She kissed him while scratching the beard he had grown mainly because shaving required moving his arm higher than he'd like at first then as he got better physically he just felt lazy to shave.

"Ready to meet our son?" he asked pulling away. "I know I'm ecstatic to finally meet him," he said.

"Yeah, me too. But, it all feels so surreal, Jesse." She told him. "I just hope he doesn't turn out to have a lot of complications. I mean, it's obvious that he will have some trouble adjusting—"

"—Beca, stop," he interrupted as he cupped her cheek. He got so good at pretending to be strong he was starting to consider trying his luck at acting professionally. "Don't overthink. If anything was wrong with him the doctors would have delivered him sooner but they didn't." He forced a smile. "Joseph is gonna get here today and that's all you have to think about, okay?"

Beca nodded her head and tried not to read too much into how forced everything Jesse did felt. Even the way he kissed her lacked the passion it used to have. She put what she was feeling in the back of her head and decided to focus on what was happening today.

"Okay," she smiled.

"Good." He rubbed his thumb against her cheek before leaning in to place a kiss on her forehead.

* * *

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* * *

Beca got discharged from the hospital after a week of giving birth. She was happy to be out of there but also a little relented because it meant that she wouldn't get to see her baby as much as she would have liked since he had to stay in the NICU for two months after being born.

It sucked to leave him behind but she knew it was necessary and was planning on visiting whenever she could, given the fact that she was on her maternity leave and wouldn't be working.

Her recovery was quick, the risks that pre-eclampsia put on her health dropped by the time her baby's time in the NICU was up and he was fit to go home with her.

"Hey, there, tough guy," Beca greeted taking her son in her arms.

"Ready to go home?" she asked him feeling her heart melt at the clueless look he had in his eyes as he looked at her. "Well, ready or not, you're going home," she told him then placed a kiss on his head.

"Jesse?" she called tilting her head to look at Jesse had completely zoned out after he finished packing their son's belongings that weren't many.

"Huh?" He looked at her.

"All set?" she asked and he nodded. She eyed him for a few seconds then sighed and began making her way out of the room, glancing behind her to make sure Jesse was following her.

They haven't had any time to sit and have a proper talk about how odd he had been acting but whenever she tried to get him to talk to her he'd just tell her he was fine and fake a smile which was annoying her beyond belief but she couldn't press him to talk. They were busy trying to get better physically and be the best parents they could to their preterm baby who needed a lot more care than a full term baby did and she knew they'd end up fighting so she postponed talking.

"So, Christina texted me earlier," Beca started to say as she and Jesse stood in the elevator. "She was asking about you."

"She did?"

"Yeah, she was wondering if you're still mad at her."

"I was never mad at her." He tilted his head and began stroking their little one's cheek.

"You've been blowing her off for weeks now. You've been blowing everyone off for weeks actually," she said as she eyed him. "What's going on with you, Jesse?"

"Nothing," he curtly said.

"I'm not sick anymore, Jesse, you can drop the façade." She glared at him. Feeling her gaze, he dropped the hand that was stroking Joseph's cheek and looked at her.

Beca shook her head and stepped out of the elevator once it reached the ground floor and Jesse said nothing back.

Jesse followed in tow and got the door for Beca so that she could put Joseph into his seat. She cracked a smile eyeing him and pulled her cellphone to take a picture of him before she gently locked the door and climbed into the passenger seat of her car while Jesse sat behind the wheel.

"Beca, there's no façade, I'm just tired," Jesse said.

"No, it's more than that and you know it," she told him.

"Beca," he sighed.

"Don't fucking Beca me," she exclaimed.

She glanced at the backseat when Joseph began to fuss.

"Shit," she muttered. "I freaked him out."

"No, he just wants to sleep probably," Jesse told her after taking a good look at their son. "It's good for his lungs to cry," he added when he noted her guilty expression and patted her shoulder before he drove off.

"So you're not gonna talk to me?"

"I am talking to you," Jesse glanced at her.

"You know what I mean," she rolled her eyes.

"We'll talk later, okay?" He glanced again and watched her nod then lean against her seat and gaze out of the window.

* * *

"What?" Jesse asked when Beca pulled her phone from her pocket and kept looking at it as they stood in the elevator heading up to her penthouse.

"Chloe is calling me on FaceTime," she told him then gave Jesse Joseph before she answered the call.

"Hey," Chloe greeted dragging the word as she beamed at her friend. "Where is he?" she asked. "You said you were getting him home today," she said.

"Well, nice seeing you, too, Chloe."

Chloe rolled her eyes at Beca's words. "Can I see my nephew?" she asked.

Beca nodded and turned her phone towards Jesse who held Joseph in a way Chloe could see him. "Aw, he's adorable. And, so tiny—I hate that I'm not there to welcome him home with you guys."

"You're not missing much, Chlo," Beca assured her. "He's asleep almost always." Beca brought her phone to her.

"Still," Chloe dramatically sighed.

Stepping out of the elevator and inside the house, Beca arched an eyebrow at the huge banner that read: WELCOME HOME, JESSE & BECA'S SPAWN.

"Welcome home," Amy, Bumper, and Stacie collectively said.

Beca was touched by her friends' gesture to throw her baby a welcome home party. However, she had to roll her eyes at their choice of words for the banner. "He has a name," she said as she held back a smile while looking at Stacie, Amy, and Bumper who were holding balloons and were wearing party hats.

"Joseph Caleb Mitchell Swanson would take too much space," Stacie explained.

"Yeah, because his first name wouldn't be enough," Beca rolled her eyes again. "What's happening?" She heard Chloe ask so she turned the phone around to let her see for herself.

"You threw a party without me?" she asked, dramatically gasping. Bumper, who was wearing a red nose, shrugged.

"Okay, this is actually nice, which is why I'm not going to hold the fact that you didn't invite me against any of you," she added after a beat.

"Chloe, you live across the country," Amy frowned.

"That's totes irrelevant," Chloe said.

"Yeah, totally," Beca nodded turning the phone so she could look at her best friend.

"Ugh, I have to go back to work. Send me pictures of your spawn." She chuckled a little at the end. "I love you, bye."

"You, too," Beca smiled and hung up.

"Are we allowed to go near your spawn?" Stacie asked meeting Beca's gaze.

"Of course, we are," Amy walked past Stacie and towards Jesse.

Jesse placed a kiss on his little boy's head and carefully handed him to Amy.

Beca watched Jesse pull his phone and take one look at it before shoving it back in his pocket as he stepped away from Amy once Bumper and Stacie joined her.

"What's up?" Beca asked following him.

"Mom was asking if we set a date yet last time we talked," he told her as he made his way to the table that had cake and drinks on it. "And I'm not in a mood to put up with her," he deadpanned grabbing a root beer.

"She still thinks you're not up for marriage, huh?"

Jesse nodded and opened the bottle. "Yeah, which is weird considering she really wants us to get married." He rubbed the back of his neck. "Honestly, I don't get how my mother's brain works," Jesse said before bringing the beer to his lips.

"Do you think he has an idea on what's happening around him?" Beca wondered tilting her head to look at her friends who were gathered around joseph playing with him.

"He just sees shapes," Jesse shrugged.

"Are you sleeping over tonight?" she hesitantly asked.

"Do you want me to sleep over?" he asked back as he drummed his fingers on the bottle he was holding.

Beca nodded.

"Then I'll sleep over."

"Cool." She stepped closer to him. "Sorry I yelled at you earlier," she apologized as she scratched her temple and looked down at her feet.

Jesse threw an arm around her and pulled her to him hugging her and rubbing her back when he felt her relax.

Beca sighed hearing their 2-months old baby cry.

"C'mon, let's go save him from them," Jesse said pulling away.

"You said crying is good for his lungs," Beca reminded him.

Jesse shook his head. "Not this time around."

* * *

"You do realize that you haven't slept over since late December and it's almost May, right?" Beca said as she laid in bed with Joseph laying on her chest.

"Well, you spent 8 weeks at the hospital altogether and didn't need me around the time that Joseph stayed in the NICU." Jesse tugged up his t-shirt and removed it before he joined her on the bed.

"We barely hung out outside the hospital while Joseph was there," Beca said in realization and watched Jesse shrug.

"I don't think he's gonna fall asleep anytime soon," Beca sighed as she played with her very awake baby.

"When Sammy was a baby Sandra's mom showed us this sleep timetable to get her to sleep through the night as soon as possible, I'll ask her to give it to me," Jesse told her grinning when Joseph looked at him.

"That would be awesome 'cause I've never been and I don't plan on becoming a night owl."

"You've never been a morning bird either, Bec," Jesse noted.

"Yeah, I'm neither." She shrugged. "I'm a noon person." Beca wrapped her arms around the little boy and shifted to lay on her side in order to face Jesse then put Joseph down on the bed between them.

"Joseph," Jesse called. "Hey," he smiled when his tiny baby tilted his head following the sound that snapping his fingers made.

"My forearm is bigger than him," Jesse said in amusement.

"Right, poke fun at the infant," Beca rolled her eyes at his words.

"I'm serious." Jesse then sat up and extended his arm to show her. Beca snickered and grabbed her phone from the nightstand to take a picture of her son while his dad extended his arm near him.

"Okay, I got it," Beca said. Jesse nodded and leaned down to blow raspberry on Joseph's stomach.

She found herself smiling at the way Jesse was having fun with their boy so she took another picture then put her phone back on the nightstand.

"He's got your eyes, Becs," Jesse softly said as he eyed the little boy.

"A lot of babies have blue eyes when they're born then they turn brown or hazel," Beca told him.

"No, his are blue," Jesse confidently said as he stroked Joseph's cheek. "And are going to stay blue."

"Jesse, are you okay?" Beca asked noting the frown that formed on Jesse's forehead as he zoned out. She placed a hand on his shoulder. "You said we'd talk later," she reminded him when he nodded.

"It's just that the past few months have been stressful that's all," he assured her. "It's all good now that you two are fine."

"What about you?" she asked.

"What about me?"

"You've been dealing with this," she said as she ran her fingertips on the gunshot scar on his stomach, "on your own."

"Beca, I'm doing fine," he insisted and continued to play with Joseph.

Beca watched him for a few seconds then pulled her hand from his body clenching her jaw and telling herself to let it go and not start a fight.

Jesse exhaled through his nostrils then took her wrist in his hand, "hey, I know you mean well but don't worry about me."

She nodded despite not believing him. He leaned in and kissed her as he let go of her wrist to cup her cheek when she kissed him back.

"What was that, Joseph?" Jesse asked pulling away when he heard him coo. "Oh, mama is yours, you say?" He looked down at their son. "Well, guess what, budd? You're gonna learn to share," he spoke in a funny voice before he rubbed his nose against Joseph's nose. Beca rubbed Jesse's back deciding to bring it up another time figuring that he wasn't ready to open up yet.

"You know, he could totally fit in that Yoda back bag you got me for my birthday," Jesse thoughtfully said as he tilted his head to look at Beca.

"You're not suggesting we put him in the back bag, are you?" She narrowed her eyes at him.

"Well, not now obviously. He's too young: when he's a little older," he said and looked back to Joseph and placed a kiss on his neck.

* * *

Beca woke to the sound of her little dude crying. The last thing she could remember was Jesse telling her to go ahead and sleep because she was very likely to get up in a few hours to feed Joseph. She rolled her eyes seeing that, unlike what he said he would do, Jesse didn't take Joseph to his room instead he let him spend the night with them. She sighed seeing that it was one-twenty in the morning before she sat up and picked the crying baby up who only calmed down when he began to feed.

Beca looked over at Jesse when he shifted in his sleep quite violently. It didn't take her long before she noticed the way he was sweating and breathing heavily clearly having a nightmare.

"Jesse," she called as she shook him. "Jesse, wake up. You're having a nightmare," she said as she continued to shake his shoulder.

She winced when shot up awake and gripped her wrist in horror.

"Jesse, you're hurting me," she said while trying break free from his hold.

He swallowed letting go of her wrist. "I'm sorry," he apologized.

She moved her wrist a few times and held Joseph closer to her as she eyed Jesse who was trying to control his breathing.

"What were you dreaming about?" she asked.

"It doesn't matter," he ran a hand over his face and got out of the bed heading to the en-suite bathroom where he stayed for almost half an hour.

When he got out, the bedroom was empty.

He freaked out for a half a second then headed to Joseph's nursery, breathing a sigh of relief when he found Beca there. She was putting Joseph in his crib when she felt Jesse's gaze. He was gone once she tilted her head.

"I'm pretty sure I didn't' dream telling you to put Joseph in his crib," Beca said as she stepped into the room.

Jesse nodded from his seat on the edge of the bed. Beca sighed and sat next to him.

They sat in silence for a few seconds before Jesse reached for her hand and took it in his examining her wrist.

"You think it will bruise?" he asked as he rubbed his thumb against her skin.

"No," she shook her head. "You barely gripped it."

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to hurt you—"

"I know," she interrupted and reached with her free hand to stroke his cheek. "Do you always have nightmares?" she found herself asking. He nodded.

She hummed in response. "I'm guessing this is why you've avoided sleeping over for the past two months?"

He nodded again.

"Great, 'cause I thought you're snoring again," she joked and smiled when he chuckled. "Jesse, you don't have to hide from me," she told him and placed a kiss on his cheek.

"I'm not hiding from you," he tilted his head.

"Yeah, you are," she disagreed.

"I'm not," he insisted.

Beca moved her hand to his neck and sighed. "I don't know if you're in denial or think I'm stupid." She paused. "I'm done waiting around for you to get it together." She let go of his face. "You don't want to talk to me. Cool. No big deal. But I'm not gonna sit and watch you fall apart." She shrugged. "I've been burned before," she uneasily said because knew how much it bothered him to talk about the time he tried to basically rape her because of his unstable mental state back when he got into an accident with his ex-wife, who happened to be pregnant, and his daughter. An accident that caused a miscarriage and left him with post-traumatic-stress-disorder.

"You're going to see Dr. Martins ASAP," she decided reaching for his chin and tilting his head to make him look at her. He nodded, agreeing to go see a therapist they both had seen in the past. "Tell her I said hi. I'll probably pay her a visit soon," she mumbled the last part to herself interlocking her fingers and placing her hands on her lap. Jesse heard her and frowned.

"Why?"

"It's just that mom is scared I'd develop postpartum depression 'cause apparently it also runs in my family and she 'forgot' to give me the memo," she deadpanned. "The women in my family are very fortunate people," she sighed.

"Are you feeling depressed?" he asked turning to face her.

"I don't know," she shrugged. "I haven't had the time think about how I'm feeling. I mean, I've spent—we've spent the last two months worrying over Joseph and his health," she said then stifled a yawn. "I know that I'm not feeling resentful nor do I hate how my body changed because of childbirth," she told him truthfully.

"You look awesome, Becs." He rubbed her back.

"You don't have to say that. If one thing, you won't be getting laid for being nice yet," she jokingly said.

"I mean it," he said reaching for her hands and taking them in his.

"Well, thanks," she smiled at him. "Wanna make out till we fall asleep like the old days?" she asked, thinking of the times she had calmed his nerves by making out until he could sleep when he was dealing with his PTSD.

"Yeah," he chuckled in spite of himself letting go of her hands and watching her climb on the bed before he climbed after her then wrapped an arm around her.

* * *

 **AN:** I thought I could jam it all together in one chapter, two at most, then I thought about what is left to be told in this story and realized how unlikely it was. So, right now I'm not sure how many chapters you'll get. Bare with me, please.

Thank you for reading, you awesome folks. Leave a word if you want to, opinions are helpful. Okay, bye now!


	22. Chapter 21

"Hello!" Christina called the moment she stepped inside the penthouse as she took off one of the earbuds from her ear.

She walked slowly further while looking around then stopped when Beca emerged from the second floor.

"Hi," Beca greeted as she walked down the stairs. "I didn't think you'd come over for another hour to, be honest," she added.

"I finished up the work you need and got it to you," Christina shrugged and followed Beca to the kitchen.

"You're really fast at getting reports done." Beca poured herself a glass of water while Christina set a few folders on the kitchen island.

"Well, they keep me busy." Christina watched Beca chugged down the glass of water.

"And you keep me from having a nervous breakdown," Beca told her.

Christina chuckled at her words.

"I'm serious. I would have gone insane if I didn't have at least one thing under control right now in my life."

"Pro tip: don't make the people that work for you feel like they're special they'll probably start to think like they're irreplaceable and might begin to half ass their work," Christina pointed out.

"Special as in unicorn special or retarded special?" Beca smiled at her PA who told her once that she doesn't behave like how an employer should act and that she'd make sure to give her pointers based on her experience in headhunting.

Christina shook her head.

"What are you listening to?" Beca asked.

"New Dawn Fades," Christina answered.

"Oh, the Joy Division song?"

"Yep," Christina nodded. "Do you and your boyfriend know every song ever made?"

"I know more songs than Jesse," Beca said in a matter of fact tone.

"Of course, you do, it's part of your job."

Beca grabbed her phone when it chimed with an e-mail notification.

"What?" Christina wondered when Beca kept staring and her phone with a small smile playing on her lips.

"My ex- is getting married," she told her.

"Sorry I asked," Christina apologized for getting into her boss' personal matters.

"You know too much already." Beca looked up from her phone hearing the uneasiness in Christina's voice.

Christina nodded curtly. "He invited you to his wedding?" she asked in confusion.

"Uh-huh," Beca nodded as she typed back a reply to the e-mail Luke sent her inviting her to his wedding and apologizing for not sending her an invite by mail because he didn't know her address. "When he gets married, all my ex-boyfriends are married men," she said in realization after replying her congratulations and telling him that she'd love to come but will see if she could make it given the fact that she had an infant to take care of.

"Well, that's interesting."

"One of them got married like 8 months after we broke up." She paused. "I'm like a lucky charm or a curse to date then break up with depending on which way you view marriage."

Beca drummed her fingers on the kitchen island then grabbed one of the folders.

"Thanks again for getting these done. I really appreciate the work you do." Beca paused. "Damn, this is thorough," she said, impressed as she flipped through the report. "I know this is like therapeutic and all but, dude, you're wasting your time working with me. This stuff is very under your skill level."

"I like doing this stuff." Christina shrugged.

"But it doesn't pay well," Beca pointed out closing the folder deciding to go through it later.

"Not a problem anymore."

Beca nodded figuring that her PA had worked things up with her godfather and had regained access to her inheritance. "You should check Joy Division 1980's Closer, great stuff."

"That, I'll do," Christina nodded.

"Um, Jesse should be here soon." Beca paused. "If you wanna wait," she added.

"I'm actually late for a meeting," Christina quickly said.

"Meeting?" Beca frowned.

"AA meeting," she elaborated. "Kinda why I came over here early," she explained.

"Oh, okay. Well, good luck with that."

"Thanks," Christina sighed. "Bye." She turned on her heels.

Beca watched her as she walked away then marched towards the stairs and headed to Joseph's nursery to check on him.

"Hey, Joey," she greeted seeing that he was still awake after she had fed him and changed his diaper. She picked him up and placed a kiss on his cheek before leaving the nursery. "You know, you give me the creeps when you're not crying," she told him. "Like what do other than that when you're awake? What's happening in your head? What sort of things go through your mind?" she wondered as she eyed him.

Joseph babbled something back.

"Did just you answer me or was this oddly perfectly timed at random?"

She sighed when he kept staring at her. "I need to spend time with adults," she mumbled to herself holding him closer to her and pecking his temple as she walked down the stairs.

Bumper and Amy left for L.A. to attend some award show and told her they'd be back in NYC soon. They had no obligation to come back but they wanted to keep her company and help her out with the kid. Stacie, on the other hand, her current roommate left for a week in Hawaii to relax after the academy year ended.

She sat on the couch and sat her baby boy on her lap.

"I'm gonna tell you something and promise me to not tell," she started to say as ran her hand gently over Joseph's hair. "I don't know what I'm doing," she whisper-yelled. He grinned and it warmed her heart and made her grin herself.

"You already know that, don't you?" she snickered and rubbed her thumb against a dimple on his cheek. "Just keep rolling with mama 'till she figures things out at some point, okay?" She held his gaze and leaned in placing a kiss on his head when he tried to get a hold of her arm.

Beca tilted her head hearing the elevator door open and smiled seeing that it was Jesse, Sam, and Bender.

"Becs?" Jesse called as he shrugged off his daughter's back bag that he was wearing.

"Over here," she replied and smiled when Sam let go of her dad's hand and ran to where she was.

"Look who's here, Joe," Beca spoke to the little boy. "It's your sister," she told him.

Sam gently placed a kiss on top of his head.

"Hey, kiddo," Beca greeted squeezing Sam's arm briefly. "How was school?"

"Okay," Sam answered as she sat down next to Beca while she eyed her baby brother.

"Hi," Jesse leaned down pecking Beca's lips before he placed a kiss on his son's cheek.

"You gonna go drop Bender at your place?" Beca guessed as she eyed the dog.

"Yeah," Jesse nodded. "Took him out for a long walk then pick Sammy up." He placed another kiss on Joseph's cheek a little more forcefully. "We're all gonna fall asleep by eight today," he added.

"Take my car, keys are over there," she told him as she pointed at the coffee table.

"Okay," he agreed. "Do I buy dinner while I'm out?" he asked.

"No, I'm making dinner tonight."

"Wow, what's the occasion? Is it somebody's birthday?" he wondered in mock-shock.

"You're not funny."

"Yeah, I am," he disagreed then pecked her lips again. "Text me if anything comes up," he said and grabbed her car keys.

"Be good," he said to his 7-year-old daughter who nodded. "Daddy, stop," she laughed when he leaned in and placed several kisses on her neck.

"Bye, daddy," Sam grinned as he walked towards the elevator.

"Bye." They heard him say.

"When did the teeth fall?" Beca nodded at the missing top front two teeth in Sam's mouth.

"Last night," Sam answered.

"Both of them?"

Sam nodded her reply as she reached to touch her brother's clenched fist.

"Want a peanut butter and jelly sandwich?"

Sam nodded again. "Wait, no."

"Why not?" Beca frowned.

"Mommy said not to disturb you because you're tired."

"You're not disturbing me," Beca assured her. "Want orange juice with your sandwich?" she asked as she stood up while holding Joseph close to her chest.

"Yes, please."

"Dad brought some Disney movies over to watch, put one if you want." Beca pointed at the deck of Blu-rays that Jesse got Joseph to watch. She didn't even try to reason with him because he was going to sit and watch Disney movies with their child anyway despite the fact he's barely 4 months old.

* * *

Beca was reading one of the reports that Christina made her while Joseph napped in the cradle Dr. Mitchell got for his grandchild and Sam sat on the rug and drew.

"Hey, Beca?" Sam set down the crayon.

"Yeah?" Beca looked up.

"Are you and daddy getting divorced like mommy and daddy?" she asked.

"Dad and I aren't married. You have to get married first to divorce," Beca first explained. "But, no, we're not breaking up."

"You and Joey don't live with daddy," she pointed out.

Beca nodded. Jesse told her he had talked to Sam about the situation and assured her everything was okay and that the kid understood. She knew that she had to talk to Sam herself and that Jesse wouldn't be enough.

She closed the report and put it aside.

"Sometimes you stop wanting something you thought you want and it becomes confusing so you take a step back to see if you really want that thing," Beca tried to explain.

"The thing is living with daddy?" Sam said in confusion.

"No." Beca ran her fingers through her hair.

"You don't want daddy anymore?" Sam guessed next sounding a little hurt.

Beca tried to find something to say that could make sense to the kid in order to explain that it was more than not wanting to be with Jesse anymore. "It's a little complicated, Sammy. It's not a black or white situation. Dad and I are in the gray area." Beca paused. "Did that make any sense?"

Sam nodded her head. "You love daddy less so you move here to see if you love him enough to live with him."

"That's more or less the case," Beca clicked her tongue.

Sam picked up a crayon and went back to her drawing. Beca watched her for a few seconds, wondering how in the hell Sam was so levelheaded and just accepted what she had learned, then tilted her head to look at Joseph when she heard him wake up fussing.

"What's wrong?" Sam asked.

"Oh, your brother is just passionate about crying," Beca joked standing up and heard Sam laugh. "Keep an eye on him while I go grab him his bottle?" she said to the young girl.

"Okay," Sam agreed.

Knowing that she had to go back to work— at least show up at the branch for a few hours every now and then— Beca figured she'd introduce the bottle to Joseph and give him pumped breast milk even when she's around the house so that he'd get used to it.

"Wanna help me feed him?" Beca asked as she walked back into the room after she had warmed her boy a bottle.

"Yes," Sam enthusiastically said as she shot up from the floor where she sat near her baby brother.

"Can I hold him?" she asked. "I promise I'll be careful," she promised as she gave Beca puppy eyes.

"Yeah, okay," Beca said then set the bottle on the coffee table. Sam grinned and climbed on the couch.

Beca carefully handed the little boy to his over-excited sister.

"Don't hold it too high," Beca told Sam as Joseph latched onto the bottle.

"Is this okay?" Sam asked as she looked between her brother and the bottle she was holding.

"Yeah." Beca rubbed her arm. "You're doing awesome."

"What have you been drawing, Picasso?" Beca wondered as she bent to pick up the drawing from the floor.

"Our family," Sam answered without tearing her eyes from her brother.

"Well, this is nice," Beca complimented as she eyed the drawing that included a lot of details and that also included her. "Can I keep it?" she asked.

"It's not finished yet," Sam told her.

"Can I keep it when it's finished?"

"Yeah," Sam nodded.

"Thanks," Beca thanked her and sat next to Sam.

"Beca, he's got the hiccups," Sam announced. "What do we do?" she asked.

"Give him to me," Beca said and tucked a lock of her hair behind her ear then took the little boy from his sister. "Now, I hold him up until he burps or barfs," she told her as she held him in a way his chin was on her shoulder.

"I like Joey," Sam said.

"Well, Joey likes you, too," Beca told her.

"How can you tell when he doesn't talk yet?"

"He doesn't have to talk. He wouldn't have stayed calm when you held him if he didn't like you," she pointed out then tilted her head hearing the elevator.

"Hey," Jesse greeted stretching out the word as he grinned.

"Hi, daddy," Sam said. "Beca let me feed Joey," she told him in excitement looking up when he threw an arm over her shoulder. She squealed when he wrapped an arm around her waist and picked her up.

"Daddy, stop," she exclaimed when Jesse buried his face in her neck placing several kisses tickling her.

"Did you have fun?" he asked finally pulling away and properly held her. Sam nodded her head.

"Yeah and he likes me," she proudly said.

"Of course he does. You're his awesome big sister!" he exclaimed and placed a kiss on her cheek before he put her down.

"Hi," he grinned at Beca who was watching them as she gently patted Joseph's back.

"Hey," she said and leaned up to kiss him.

"What's for dinner, Bec?" he asked pulling away.

"Pasta with turkey meatloaf," she answered.

"Awesome," he said then tilted his head to look at their baby. "Hi, buddy," he said in a low voice as he eyed the sleepy looking baby then placed a kiss on his forehead.

"Hold him? I need to use the bathroom."

"Yeah," Jesse nodded and accepted the little boy. "Do I keep him up or do I let him fall back asleep?" he wondered.

Beca took Jesse's arm and looked at the time on his watch. "He's slept for like 4 hours. If he doesn't get mad us and cry our ears off, he's gonna go to bed around 8. Finish feeding him and keep him happy."

"Got it." He sat down on the couch. Beca placed a kiss on Jesse's temple in order to smell his hair and not look suspicious in front of the 7-year-old girl and like she thought she smelled pot on him. He was relaxed and these days Jesse's the furthest from the relax; she knew he had to have smoked something.

* * *

"Where did you get the pot from?" Beca asked Jesse once he got into her bedroom after he had tucked his daughter into bed.

"Huh?"

"The pot, where did you get it from?" she asked again as she looked through her closet to get a clean t-shirt after Joseph threw up on her.

"I ran into a guy I worked with when I was walking Bender he gave me a joint because he heard of what happened. Like a late get well soon gift."

"And you just took it and smoked it." She shrugged before she took off her current t-shirt.

"Not all of it." He walked to her. "You can finish it if you want," he carefully said.

"Yeah, I'm gonna pass." She looked up when he wrapped an arm around her waist.

"Damn, Becs," he said as he rubbed his hand against her skin. "It's like you never got pregnant." He wasn't bullshitting her to make feel better about herself, she did lose the baby weight quickly mainly because she was breastfeeding and it burnt a lot of calories but preterm delivery, exercising and good genes had a role as well.

She took his hand and lowered it to the Cesarean scar that was located just below the bikini line.

"Yoga and running can't make this go away," she said letting go of his hand to grab a t-shirt. Jesse leaned in and placed a kiss on her neck before he began sucking on a sweet spot behind her ear while one hand was rested on where she left it and the over made it way up to cup her breast.

"Jesse," she called in discomfort. He pulled away and let go.

"Sorry, did I hurt you?" he asked.

She shook her head.

"Beca, why?" he gently asked.

"We talked about this," she reminded him. "It's like the fucking Sahara down there."

Jesse stepped back and watched her wear the t-shirt.

"Don't take it personally, Jesse, but I have zero interest in sex right now."

"You're not even trying to regain interest but whatever," he mumbled as he walked towards the bed.

"Well, I'm sorry having sex isn't on the top of my priorities," she sarcastically said. "Not like my hormones are all over the place trying to balance themselves and its side effect is low sex drive. Or that I'm breastfeeding which contributes."

"Becs, you're right. I'm sorry," he said pulling the duvet.

"Oh my god, Jesse, you're doing it again!" she said in frustration.

"Doing what?" He tilted his head.

"Telling me I'm right so I'd shut up and we won't have to talk."

"Well, you are _right_ ," he argued. "And, I'm sorry for being insensitive."

"You could have worded it differently because it sounded like you were just trying to end this conversation." She clenched her jaw ready for a fight they had been warming up to.

"Beca, it's getting late. Let's just sleep on it and talk in the morning."

"Are you fucking kidding me right now?"

"No, I'm not kidding you. You want a fight and I don't want to fight with you."

"Jesse, are you listening to yourself? Avoiding arguments got us to where we are right now."

"And where are we exactly?" He dropped the duvet. "I come over every other night. The only thing we talk about is Joseph. And, you've distanced yourself from me."

Beca opened her mouth to say something but Jesse spoke first. "Now, I understand that you did that because you're sensitive about childbirth and just wanted to get back to the way you looked before. I know you're scared your mother is right about postpartum depression. You wouldn't have found the motivation to work out the way you have if you weren't scared of depression." He walked towards her. "But for the whole time, Joseph was at the hospital you've spent more time with Bumper than you did with me. And, you told me yourself you hardly tolerate Bumper." He stopped in front of her. "You complain about the lack of communication yet again you haven't been doing any effort."

"Dude, that's so unfair." She ran her fingers through her hair. "So fucking unfair." She poked his chest. "How many times did I try to get you to talk to me and you just shut me out? I didn't say anything when you started acting weird because you've been through trauma and it's not easy but it's so frustrating, Jesse! The way you just pretended you're fine is so frustrating!"

"Yeah, but you were sick, Bec. I couldn't let you worry about me."

"But I'm not anymore. I haven't been for a while now."

"Fair point," he backtracked.

"Thank you," she said as she rested her hand on her hip. "What were you doing smoking pot? What's the deal with that?" she asked.

"What, I'm not allowed to have some peace of mind?"

"Jesse, we have 4-months-old baby, what if something came up?"

"Beca, it's weed. It won't make me unable to function. Quite the opposite actually."

"So what now, you're gonna become a pothead?"

"No," he frowned then rubbed his face.

"Jesse, you had a dependency problem in the past—"

"Beca, stop," he interrupted in annoyance. "Whatever it is you're doing, stop it, please. I have been going to Dr. Martins, haven't I?"

She nodded.

"It's okay if you didn't treat me like I'm incapable of pulling anything off. I won't forget what I did, no need to remind me every two minutes," he said while trying to keep his voice even.

"You really think that's what I'm doing?" she questioned, hurt by his words. "Keeping you from from _'forgetting'_ the past?"

"You haven't answered me. Where are we, Bec?" he asked after a beat of silence because there was no need to answer her rhetorical question.

"We're not winning Couple of The Year anytime soon that's for sure," she mumbled. "We don't even qualify for the participation medal they give to kids who suck at sports."

"Wanna break up again?" he asked when she went quiet.

"Why, do you… wanna break up?" she asked back.

"You know, when we found out about Joe and told me how you felt, I thought he'd bring us closer," he shared with her. "Which I think is why I sort of procrastinated winning you back," he chuckled humorlessly. "I was so sure you'd come around."

"Was?" she noted.

He slowly nodded. "I realize now that it's stupid and quite naïve." He paused to take the hand she dropped from her hip in his hand. "I don't think I can make you happy, Becs—"

"Don't give me that bullshit, Jesse." She pulled her hand from his hold. "Don't bullshit me. If you're trying to break up with me just do it. I'm a big girl I can take it."

"—the way Joe does," he continued despite her interruption. "I don't wanna break up. But you do. You've been trying to pick fights non-stop. Everything I do gets under your skin. You actually talk yourself into liking me these days."

He reached and took her hand in his again. "I had some time to think while getting high earlier." He paused taking in the less angry look in her eyes. "We've been in each other's lives for more than six years, Becs. Of course, it's hard to wrap your mind around giving up on this. But all this back and forth thing won't end well. And I really love you and I don't want this to end on a shitty note. So just take your time and really think about what you want. I'm not giving you ultimatums; I'm okay with whatever you choose to do. Okay?" He squeezed her hand when he kept staring at him and said nothing back. She nodded and pulled her hand from his hold to run it through her hair.

"Um, I'm gonna go out for a walk." He cleared his throat then stepped away grabbing his jacket and wearing his shoes before he paced out of the room.

* * *

 **AN:** Thanks for reading. Listening to Dear Evan Hansen's soundtrack save me from a writer's block. Phew! I hope you liked this. Leave your thoughts in a review that'd be cool and insightful.


	23. Chapter 22

Beca was unpacking grocery while Joseph laid in his bouncer chair looking very focused as he clenched his fist then released when Jesse walked down the stairs finally having woken up.

"Where's Sam? Did Sandra come and get her?" he asked.

"No, I drove her home." She looked up and watched him make his way to the kitchen.

(Beca drove Sam home and took Joseph with her then went grocery shopping.)

"You got home super late, didn't wanna wake you up to drop her off."

Jesse nodded while rubbing his eyes.

"I thought about what you said," she started to say as she continued to unpack grocery. "Some of the stuff you said is very wrong but other points you made made sense to me." She put the yogurt she was holding in the fridge after Jesse pulled the milk jug.

"I don't want you to hate me but I'm pretty sure you're headed that way and I can't help but think that it's my fault. I let it happen." She paused and rested her hands on the kitchen island. "I regret asking for a break. I should have just broken up with you instead," she uneasily said. "Dragging you around because I didn't want to completely let go was a dick move and I'm sorry," she apologized to Jesse who was holding a cereal box and a milk jug tightly as he watched her. Beca looked up and met his gaze. "I'm always the one breaking up, wanna do the honor this time?" she cracked a smile despite how low she was feeling.

"Are you seriously asking me to break up with you?" he asked in surprise.

"Yeah. All the times we've broken up before I broke us up. I don't want to do it again." She shrugged. "So, you do it."

"I don't know how" he confessed after a beat of silence.

"It's not easy but you can do it, Jess. Just say what's on your mind," she told him. "I promise I won't get mad nor will I interrupt."

"Okay," he swallowed and put the stuff he was holding on the kitchen island. "So, we're doing this, huh?" He ran his fingers through his hair. "I love you and you know it." He paused not sure how to proceed. "But I'm so, so exhausted from all of this and I hate that I am feeling this way. I really do. Which is why I think it's time we just called it quits," he said deciding to just cut to the chase and get it over with. As he held her gaze, Jesse felt bad. She almost looked like she didn't want to break up unlike what he believed.

"It feels so weird to get dumped," Beca spoke when he went quiet and tilted her head towards Joseph hearing him sing his usual nonsense of vowels.

"It feels even weirder to be the one dumping," Jesse walked to her and threw an arm over her shoulder. "I love you, Becs," he told her when she looked up.

She smiled sadly at him. "You just broke up with me, stop saying that."

He pulled her to him and placed a kiss on her hair.

"At least this guy came out of this relationship and we didn't just waste each other's time for nothing," Beca mumbled taking Joseph's hand in hers.

"I disagree, he's not the only good thing that came out of this," Jesse said. "But let's not get into it 'cause this is totally not the time to reminisce about our relationship."

"I agree," she sighed.

* * *

 **A couple of months later.**

Beca sat in her office chair, trying to work. She had decided to get back to work because she just couldn't sit around the house and mope. After four months of doing nothing apart from being a mom, she realized that she was totally not cut out to be a stay at home mom. Breaking up with Jesse also played a role because she needed a distraction from her thoughts that sometimes made her want to pick up the phone and call him and she wasn't even drunk when she had those thoughts, so she went back to work a week after they broke up.

"Dude, I totally get that you're into singing but I am trying to make a living here." She looked at her son who was in his bouncer chair near her desk. "You want me to afford to buy you things and pay your college tuition, right?"

Joseph babbled something back that made her roll her eyes and push her chair back. She picked him up and sat him on the desk facing her. "I won't cut you a record deal, singing all the time won't get you anywhere, young man," she told the boy who had stuffed his fingers in his mouth. She sighed and grabbed a tissue from the tissue box on her desk cleaning the drool from his hand.

"Can momma get a kiss?" she asked her 6 months old baby. He leaned forward instantly and attacked Beca's cheek with his opened mouth, which counted as a kiss in his mother's books.

"Thanks," she thanked him while she wiped the drool from her cheek. "I really love those wet messy kisses." She smiled at the huge grin he had on his face that made him look a lot like his father.

She glanced at the time and was _delighted_ to see that it was near noon which was the time lunch break started. "Okay, time to get some food in that tummy," she said tickling him in his belly. She was still breastfeeding him but the fact that he could eat solid food now was good because he often got mad at her when she wouldn't let him have what she was eating and also because it meant she could drink alcohol more than she did when his diet only consisted of milk.

"Why don't you put him in daycare?" Matt, her co-worker, asked as he leaned against the doorway of Beca's office.

"Jesse usually has him when I'm at work 'cause he works from home but he's out of town," Beca answered getting up as she held Joseph. "He's got a meeting with a potential producer for the movie he wrote and since he's still in L.A. I think it's going well."

"Cool." Matt straightened up. "I came to see if you wanted to eat out 'cause I found this awesome restaurant but I see that you already have a lunch date with your little dude."

"You are right. Joe and I are having lunch together. And by that I mean I'm gonna spend half an hour begging him to eat and not play with the food 'cause he still doesn't accept the concept of having lunch," she sighed. "I'd love to check the restaurant some other time."

"Want help with that?" he said offering to help her feed Joseph.

"Nah. We're good, aren't we Joe?" she tilted her head to look at Joseph whose hand was tangled in her hair. "Don't you pull my hair. I spent too much time straightening it this morning." She held his gaze then smiled when he patted her head before he leaned in and gave her one of his signature wet kisses on this time on the lips.

"That is equally gross and adorable," Matt remarked.

"Wanna hold him while I get him lunch from his bag?" She wiped her lips.

"Yeah, sure," he hesitantly said.

"Don't worry, he takes pleasure in seeing others scared: he won't cry when you hold him." She assured him knowing the reason behind his hesitance. "And he's quite social," she added, proud of her little guy's social skills.

"Has he learned to say actual words yet?" Matt asked frowning when Joseph reached for his beard with an odd look in his eyes.

"Not really, but I'm pretty sure Jesse's been trying to get him to say mama which is why I made it my mission to get him to say dada first." She pulled the food container and the bib.

"That's an odd decision to make."

"I know why Jesse's doing it. He knows it will give me a sense of victory. It will feel rewarding when Joe finally starts calling me mama. And, I think he deserves that too. Which is why I want the same for him."

"You guys are weird," Matt finally said. "This isn't how you're supposed to treat your ex."

Surprisingly, no one was surprised when she and Jesse broke up, not even their parents who didn't know about their on-and-off relationship and were lead to believe that everything was A-OK.

"What are we supposed to do instead? Enlighten me, Matt," Beca sarcastically wondered.

"Not care so much about your ex and what you think will make them happy?" Matt smiled when he spotted Joseph's bottom two teeth.

"I might get behind that if Jesse and I didn't split up amicably and didn't have a baby together." She turned on her heels.

"Why is he patting my cheek?" Matt asked in confusion.

"His dad has a beard and he hasn't seen him in a few days," she shrugged.

"Are you saying he thinks I'm his dad?"

Beca shrugged again took her baby from him. She sat him in one of the chairs facing her desk before she sat down on the coffee table facing him.

"Time for some disgusting looking cooked mashed carrots that I wouldn't be caught dead eating!" she said in the most excited tone she could fake to get him excited about eating carrots. Joseph started waving his arms and legs in excitement.

"Wow," Matt chuckled watching Beca put the bib around the joyous little boy's neck.

"Babies are dumb," she told Matt before she placed a kiss on Joseph's cheek. "Anything is awesome and fun if you act like it is." She ran a hand over Joseph's curly locks.

Matt shook his head and closed the door before he walked to where Beca sat and pulled a chair to sit and help anyway.

* * *

"Beca, did he just say dada?" Matt asked while Beca cleaned Joseph's mouth before she fed him another spoonful of carrots and he pulled faces to keep the boy in a good enough mood to eat.

Beca quickly grabbed her phone and tapped on the camera icon.

She hit record and proceeded to say, "Dada," slowly. "C'mon, Joe, you said it just now, do it again. Say Dada." She felt like her heart had skipped a beat when he said the word hesitantly. Beca repeated after him and he grinned and said it again.

Matt took the phone from her and continued to film when she picked Joseph up and hugged him while kissing him forcefully on the cheek. "That's right, buddy. Dada will be so happy to hear you say that." She held him up and grinned when he kept repeating 'dada' and adding some nonsensical consonants and vowels sounds into the mix which is totally awesome because he looked happy talking to her even if it didn't make sense.

"Thanks." She took her phone from him once he ended the video. "Whatever you were doing must've reminded him of Jesse."

Matt rubbed her back deciding not to make a comment on how close to tears she was.

"Okay, back to disgusting carrot," she sniffed. Matt inhaled deeply then stuck his tongue out and crossed his eyes and got Joseph to laugh.

* * *

 _Later that day._

"Are you ready?" Stacie peeked her head into Beca's bedroom.

"Almost," Beca answered as she wore her earrings.

"Show me what you picked to wear?" Stacie stepped into the room then nodded. "Good, you don't look like you just nurse a baby. You got a broad thing going: not too slutty yet not too classy," she said impressed with Beca's outfit. "I'd fuck you."

"Thanks, Stacie," Beca rolled her eyes then picked the high heels she was wearing for the night.

"I can't even remember the last time I went clubbing."

"Don't worry I'll make sure you have a great time," Stacie gave a cheeky grin.

"I'm a little worried now 'cause you look you're up to something," Beca admitted. "You can't slip drugs into my drink. I have a baby. Think about him."

"Jesus. I won't trick you into anything. Just don't think about Joe 'cause he's in good hands. Amy and Bumper aren't your ideal babysitters but they're surprisingly not bad either."

Beca grabbed her purse and followed Stacie out of the room.

"Put him to bed by seven-thirty. He will get cranky if he stays up past his bedtime," Beca told Amy and Bumper who were on the floor playing with Joseph under his gym.

"We know," Bumper said in a bored tone. "Go away now," he continued as he sat up.

"I said go away," he insisted when Beca made her way to them in the living room.

"Shut up, I'm saying good night to Joe." She got on her knees.

"Dada," Joseph called as he reached for her.

"Yeah, keep saying that." She picked him up.

"Isn't he supposed to call you mama?" Amy said in confusion as she sat up as well.

"Don't say that in front of Jesse when he gets here," Beca said to Amy after placing a kiss on joseph's cheek.

"Yes, sir," Amy nodded.

"I'm pretty sure Joe doesn't know what he's saying he just knows it makes me happy," she shrugged eyeing the little boy. "Good night, weirdo." She placed a kiss on his forehead. "Please don't put up a fight and go to sleep on time," she said sitting him back on the mat between Amy and Bumper.

"This is just sad. You're going out of your way to get your son to say the word that would mean so much to your ex-" Bumper thought out loud as he crossed his legs and got slapped in the stomach by Amy.

"I'm just calling as I see it." He shrugged. "What you and Jesse did was irrational." He nodded at Beca. "You shouldn't have broken up."

"You don't know what you're talking about Bumper," Beca deadpanned. "Just put him to bed on time," she said before she stood up.

"Say bye bye to dada," Bumper said in a childish voice as he waved at Beca who rolled her eyes then cracked a smile when Joseph did wave at her.

* * *

Jesse was lying bed at his parents' guestroom while he re-watched the video Beca sent him of Joseph saying dada for the nth time that day. He was grinning the whole time and every time he watched the video when his phone rang. He frowned and sat up seeing that it was Beca calling him at 10:20 PM which was 1:20 AM over in NYC.

"Hey, Becs, everything all right?" he asked upon picking up.

 _"Yeah, everything is top notch,"_ she slurred and he felt relieved that she was just drunk dialing him and that nothing bad happened to either her or Joseph.

"That's great," he said and leaned against the headboard. He was surprised that she was even drunk. "Did you want to tell me something?" he asked.

 _"Yeah, right. I was talking to this dude at the club Stacie took me and he wasn't very interested in hearing me talk about Joseph,"_ she scoffed.

"Yeah, wonder why," he sarcastically said.

 _"Fuck him, I wasn't planning on sleeping with him anyway,"_ she said hiccupping at the end.

"Still no sex drive?" he asked then realized that he shouldn't have.

 _"It's not as dry as it was a couple of months ago,"_ she casually answered. _"I've resumed solo activity, it feels nice but I haven't gotten myself to orgasm yet."_

Jesse shifted his place then scratched his beard, hating that he was getting a little excited himself despite the fact that she didn't say anything explicitly, before he said, "you'll get there."

 _"You think it'll help if I watch Magic Mike XXL?"_ she wondered. _"I mean I'm a little horny now."_

"Regular porn since you hate sitting through movies," he recommended.

 _"Valid point. I don't know where I put my laptop though and I don't feel like looking… Guess, I'll just think about… stuff,"_ she said after a beat. _"So, the reason I called you is to talk about Joe and what he did today,"_ she added after an even longer beat.

"Thank god you got it on film," he grinned.

 _"Yeah, I'm glad I did. I seriously cannot wait for you to hear him say it. He's bananas cute and he fucking knows it."_

"Beca, stop," Jesse groaned. "I might hop on a plane right now just to see him and I've been thinking about doing that the whole day."

 _"Okay, I'm sorry."_ She chuckled not sounding sorry. _"I hope your meetings go well and you get financed to make your movie."_

"I hope so too," he sighed. "You okay?" he asked when he heard what sounded like puking.

 _"Yeah, yeah, everything is okay. I just threw up a little. Don't worry, I'm home and sitting next to the toilet bowl."_

"Drink enough water so that you won't wake up super hungover," Jesse reminded her. "Beca?" he called when she didn't say anything back.

 _"Found it!"_ she exclaimed.

"Found what?" Jesse frowned.

 _"Battery."_

"What are you going to do with it?" he wondered in confusion.

 _"It's for this fancy sex toy Stacie got me."_ She hiccupped. _"Says it will make me come in 3 minutes tops."_

"And you're gonna go give it a try now?" he guessed.

 _"Yep. Wish me luck,"_ she said.

"You don't need luck, Becs. You can get there just set your mind to it." Jesse swallowed when he heard buzzing on the other end of the phone. "Did you just turn it on?" he asked.

 _"Yeah,"_ she chuckled. _"Dude, this thing is so funny looking. Looks like a mouse."_

"A mouse?"

 _"A computer mouse,"_ she elaborated. _"Well, Imma go try the thing now. It better work because I need some release. Love you, bye,"_ she said before hanging up.

Jesse rubbed his face after tossing his phone aside. He missed her very much and regretted breaking up _again_ but couldn't just go and be like, _'hey, I don't think we made the right call and I wanna get back together with you.'_ He knew they had to sack up and just wait for the feelings to fade at some point. But everything felt wrong. Being apart felt wrong and sucked.

* * *

 _The next day._

Beca was in the kitchen testing the milk she just pumped for alcohol before she threw it away. She was a hundred percent sure it had alcohol but kind of had to test it anyway.

"Hold on a minute, buddy," she said to her impatient baby boy who was babbling demanding she gave him his food as he sat in his chair. She sighed pouring the milk in the sink. "Just keep it low, please, my head is pounding." She rubbed her temples at her agonizing headache then resumed slicing bananas for Joseph.

"I can't handle getting shitfaced anymore," she admitted to herself. "Dude, I'm getting old," she said to Joseph with a pout. "But you don't care, do you?" she smiled a little when he grinned at her once she placed the bananas in front of him. "Yeah, keep grinning. One day I'm gonna die, you know? I'd like to see your face then."

"What the hell are you saying to your child?" Bumper said catching the last thing she said.

"Can't a woman have a conversation with her kid in her own house?" she deadpanned.

"You're so weird, Beca, and it's affecting everyone here even Joe," he told her.

"Bumper, I am so hungover. Please, for the love of whatever shit you're into these days, don't. Just don't."

He held his hands up as he walked to the kitchen.

"I'm making a Potassium smoothie that Amy once told me you drank to help with hangovers," she sighed. "What else should I add? I've already put bananas and yogurt," she told him.

"Milk and beans… Um, I think there's still beet. But double up the bananas so its taste overshadows the unpleasant taste of beet."

"Okay," Beca nodded and opened the fridge to grab the stuff he told her to get.

"You seem like you had fun last night," Bumper remarked serving himself a mug of freshly brewed coffee.

"If by fun you mean drinking way too much tequila shots and scaring off every single guy that showed interest in me because I wouldn't shut up about Joe then going home to puke my insides out and drunk-dialing Jesse and having no memory of what I talked about then yeah so much fun!" She grabbed a knife to cut the beet. "And I have this bruise that I'm not sure how I got," she told him as she lifted the robe she was wearing to show him the bruise on the calf of her right leg.

"That is a nasty bruise," Bumper said after a beat.

* * *

Beca laid in bed waiting for her hangover to fucking go away while Joseph sat next to her playing with his toys and occasionally acknowledging her.

"Your sister used to make me feel better when I felt like shit back when she was a baby," she told him when he threw a giraffe stuffed toy at her. "You're not helping." She held the giraffe and played with it before tossing it aside.

"Dada dada dada…" Joseph continuously said then threw himself at her burying his face in her chest and rubbing his nose against her tank.

She sighed and pushed herself up before she sat him in her lap. "I demand you make me feel better now!" She tickled his sides and made him laugh while she rocked him.

A soft knock made her look up. "Hi," Jesse smiled as he stood in the doorway.

"Jesse? What are you doing here—when did you even get here?" Beca asked in surprise.

"I just got here. I ran into Bumper downstairs. He let me up. I was gonna call you to tell the doorman to let me in." He stepped into the room, grinning when he saw that Joseph recognized his voice and was jumping in his mother's lap and looking around.

"Hey, champ," Jesse said picking Joseph from Beca. "I missed you," he said before he placed a kiss on his cheek quite forcefully. "I missed you so much." He breathed in his scent.

"He missed you, too," Beca told him smiling as she eyed the nearly identical grins on the father and son.

"I thought you were supposed to stay over there until you got the money," Beca noted.

"I e-mailed the producer and told him we'll be in touch via e-mail. I'm not gonna wait around there." He shrugged and took a seat on the bed. "How could I stay across the country when my little boy is saying dada?" he said to Joseph who was trying to hold his face.

"Dada," Joseph repeated after him. Beca grabbed her phone to record their interaction, her face hurting from the grin she held the whole time.

"God, I missed these," Jesse grinned when Joseph placed one of his wet open-mouthed kisses on his face.

"What's the matter, buddy?" Jesse wondered when Joseph glanced at Beca then back at him.

"He's hungry but doesn't want to stop playing with you," Beca told him. "No, I can't nurse him," she added when Jesse nodded and held him her way. "I got hammered last night," she elaborated a little embarrassed by the fact that she drunk dialed him.

"Right," Jesse said in realization.

"I'll go get him some of the milk I stored," she said climbing out of the bed.

* * *

Lying in bed with your ex who was holding your sleepy baby as he nursed him to sleep should have felt awkward, yet it didn't. It was actually nice. Having Jesse around was nice because it made Joseph happy, of course.

"How's your hangover doing?" Jesse asked in a low voice as he slowly removed the empty bottle from Joseph's hold noting that he was fast asleep.

"Relatively better," Beca answered, twirling a lock of her hair around her finger as she stared at the ceiling.

"Is this the fancy vibrator you told me about last night?" Jesse wondered as he grabbed the item after placing the bottle on the nightstand.

"What?" Beca sat up.

"It is weirdly shaped like a computer mouse." Jesse frowned flipping the thing in his hand.

"Please tell me we didn't have phone sex last night." She closed her eyes in embarrassment as she felt the heat in her cheeks.

"No. You actually called me to complain about some dude that didn't want to hear you talk about Joe," he told her while avoiding eye contact. "You don't remember?" He looked up.

She shook her head. "I have a vague memory of calling you and the log history on my phone confirms it."

"Don't worry, you didn't say anything wildly inappropriate." He held the thing up and said. "This doesn't look like any vibrator I've seen before. How does it work?" he asked.

She rolled her eyes laid back on the bed. "You can figure out what it does since you yourself are pretty good at it." She clenched her jaw regretting saying the last part.

"Ooooh," he slowly said. "Does it work? Did it… make you… you know?"

Beca nodded. "It's surprisingly very efficient," she told him.

"Cool." He put it on the nightstand and looked down at Joseph who sighed in his sleep.

"So I called you to talk about Joe then it weirdly turned into discussing the sex toy?"

"Uh-huh," Jesse nodded, deciding not to get into how they got to talking about her sex life nor the part where she told him she loved him before hanging up.

"That's not so bad," she said in relief.

"As much as I miss Joe I think it's best if he naps in his crib," Jesse said while stroking Joseph's cheek.

"You're right," Beca agreed then followed Jesse out of her bedroom and to the nursery.

"I'll bring him over to your place tomorrow," Beca said watching Jesse as he placed a kiss on the sleeping boy's head and straightened up after having put him in his crib.

"Okay," he nodded stuffing his hands in his pockets and walked out of the nursery following Beca's lead.

"Wow, what's that?" Jesse wondered as he noticed the bruise on Beca's leg while pulling the door and leaving it barely open.

"What? Oh, you mean this?" She held the robe up a little to let him see it. "I'm not sure how I got it," she shrugged.

"Did you get punched in the calf by an elf?" he frowned bending to have a better look.

She rolled her eyes. "I think I stumbled backward and hit the edge of the bed," she told him. "It's nothing," she added when he ran his fingertips tracing the bruise, hoping he didn't feel the Goosebumps his gesture caused.

"Well, be careful, Becs," he cleared his throat straightening up. She nodded and took a step back when she saw how close he was standing. He reached and tucked a lock of hair behind her ear then leaned in and kissed her hesitantly. She returned his kiss and it wasn't long until he was pinning against the wall and kissing her senseless while she wrapped her legs around his waist and clenched his hair pulling closer to her.

"You look like a pair of dingoes in the heat." Amy's remark brought them out of their bubble and back to reality.

"No, keep going." She gestured with her hand as she walked casually. "Preferably not near your son's nursery, you might wake him up." She was walking down the stairs when she said the last words.

"I'm sorry. I don't know what came over me," Jesse apologized as he put Beca down. "I'll let myself out," he awkwardly said while avoiding her gaze before he walked away.

"Fuck!" Beca huffed in annoyance at what just happened because she thought they could do better. She dragged herself to her bedroom and jumped on the bed, burying her face in a pillow before she let out a muffled groan of frustration.

She promised herself she'd be mature about breaking up despite the fact they still had feelings for each other.

 _'It's for the best,'_ is what she kept telling herself ever since they broke up: She didn't know what she wanted and it didn't seem like she was going to and he couldn't just wait around for her.

* * *

 **AN:** This must feel like a broken record, eh? Sorry 'bout that. It's just part of the whole schtick. Roll with it, please. To the dear guest wondering how many chapters are left: I'm trying to wrap it up. I can't give you an exact number of chapters because I'm basically winging it... So, not a lot of chapters, I guess?

I hope you didn't hate this chapter. Leave a word telling me what you thought if you want to. Until next time, peace!


	24. Chapter 23

"Hi," Jesse greeted as he opened the door just enough Beca could step inside the apartment without Bender running out.

He was rubbing the back of his neck in discomfort after closing the door. "I…" Jesse paused turning to face her. He clenched his jaw when no words came out. He shook his head and closed his eyes momentarily.

"Look, it happens," Beca was the one to speak. She walked further inside the apartment avoiding to look at him because of his lack of clothing.

"It shouldn't." He followed her. "I'm sorry for the way I behaved," he apologized watching her place their son's bag on the couch. "For all I know, you could be seeing someone," he tried to sound casual as he spoke and heard a very sarcastic laugh from Beca.

She turned around and smiled curtly at the frown on his face. "Worry not, my friend, I'm not seeing anyone. You'd know if I were." She tilted her head to look at Joseph and placed a kiss on his cheek. "Now give me a kiss," she said and gave the little boy her cheek who obliged and attacked her cheek with his opened mouth. "Have fun with dada," she told him and he, of course, repeated dada after her.

"So, we cool?" Jesse checked.

"Yeah," Beca nodded and handed him his son. "I think there should be a dress code when we hang out just to be safe and avoid this sort of incident happening again." She added referring to both her clothes from the day before and his adorable but inappropriate to be seen in by his ex-girlfriend boxer shorts that had the batman logo printed on the crotch area.

"I'd just gotten out of the shower when I heard you calling," he explained the reason why he was half naked. "I didn't expect you to show up at 7 in the morning," he added.

"I have some work to do."

Jesse nodded and didn't even try to point out the fact it was Saturday and she shouldn't be working.

"You look restless," he said instead.

"I stayed up late last night making some music Bumper and I discussed," she told him. He nodded again knowing she chose to do that to distract herself from her thoughts that kept her from sleeping.

"What's the plan for the day?" she asked changing the subject.

"Walking Bender in central park and acting like we're high on some good shit by treating everything we see like it's the greatest thing ever!" he told her, while he looked at Joseph, in his best overenthusiastic voice. "And, we're meeting Sam there, too!"

"Well, have fun together," she smiled watching the way Jesse's tone made Joseph grin.

"Say bye-bye to mama," Jesse told the little boy who settled for babbling, "ba-ba," and waved his arms while watching Beca walk towards the door backward.

* * *

Beca let out a heavy sigh the moment she climbed into her car. She ran her fingers through her hair then rested her head against the steering wheel and began banging it.

"I got this," Beca mumbled sitting up and sucking in a deep breath before she buckled her belt and started the car. "I fucking got this!" she uttered turning on the radio.

As she drove, she kept thinking if she'd ever completely get it together. She was afraid she'd end up like her mother: full of regret.

She tapped her fingers on the steering wheel and blew a breath at the unpleasant and frankly scary thought that is living in regret for the rest of her life.

* * *

Beca took off her sunglasses and eyed her mother's house who lived in a different state.

It was a trip that Beca decided to make because she really needed to talk to her mother and couldn't do it over the phone. She was so much like her mother despite how hard it was to admit it to herself and she knew that in order to get her mother to speak the truth and leave nothing out she had to go see her.

She rang the bell and waited. She knew her mom would be home because last time they texted she told her plans for the weekend were to stay in.

"Beca?" Nicole frowned when she unlocked the door and found her daughter at the door.

"Hi, mom," Beca smiled tightly. "I just have something to ask you about that's been fucking with me for days and I need to hear it from you 'cause I think I'll go insane if I don't get a fucking grip," she rambled.

"Okay," the older woman frowned and stepped back.

"Wait, do you have people over?" Beca frowned. "I should have called first."

"No, I don't have anyone over, Becs."

Beca nodded and followed her mother inside the house.

"What's wrong? Why did you drive here? Is it Joe?" Nicole locked the door. "It's totally okay if you're feeling overwhelmed," she firmly said.

"No, not Joe." Beca shook her head. "I think it's safe to say that I dodged postpartum depression," she assured her mom.

"Okay, good," Nicole said, relief washing over her momentarily.

"I drove here to ask you— and please don't get defensive and weird about it 'cause I really have to know," Beca started to say. Her mom nodded. "I know you regret how things turned out with dad. I mean you don't talk about it but I was there the whole time and saw how you just sucked it up and made peace with fucking up. What I wanna know is whether or not you still have feelings for him. And, don't give me the 'I care about him bullshit'."

"No, Bec. I don't think of dad that way. I mean, a part of me will always love him and it sure took me longer than it took him to move on but I did move on," she answered and watched as Beca blew a breath and ran her fingers through her hair.

"Okay, what about regret? Does it fade, too?"

"Beca, what is going?" Nicole wondered.

"Answer me, please?"

"It doesn't, I just kind of just learned to live with it." She paused. "Are you going to tell me what's going on with you? I mean I can guess 'cause it's pretty clear but I want you to tell me for once in your life."

"I thought I was doing okay then he kissed me and messed everything up!" she said in annoyance. "I know what to do in situations like this: just cut him off 'till we get past this stage. But I can't do that because Joe is in the midst of all this."

"And you drove all the way from New York to Pittsburgh to be sure that you will eventually get past _this stage_ you're talking about?"

Beca nodded.

"Where did you leave your son?" Nicole asked.

"He's with Jesse." Beca checked the time on her watch to find that it was 1:11 pm. "The milk I packed him should suffice and he's also eating food now. He'll be fine without me."

"How many hours did you drive?"

"About six," Beca gave her an approximation.

"And you're obviously planning on driving back to New York soon." Beca nodded at her mother's words.

"Yeah, you're not gonna do that," the older woman decided.

"Are you telling me or asking me?" Beca arched an eyebrow.

"Beca, you're not a kid anymore. You can do things like this." She paused. "Did you stop to think of the physical toll driving for 12 hours will take on you?" she wondered.

"No, I didn't think this through. I just knew that I had to come here in case I had to harass you into telling me what I wanted to know!" Beca raged.

"You need to relax," Nicole said in worry watching her daughter rub her forehead.

"I haven't slept for more than 4 hours a night in months, mom. I don't think I know how to relax anymore." Beca dropped the hand that she was rubbing her forehead with.

"Yeah, you do." Nicole reached for Beca's arm and pulled her into a hug. "No matter what happens, you'll be fine." She rubbed her back.

"How do you know that?" Beca mumbled into her shoulder.

"You're you. That's how I know." She sighed patted her daughter's back. "Did you eat?" she asked once Beca pulled away.

"C'mon, I'll make you a chicken salad sandwich," she said when Beca shook her head.

"I'd like that," Beca mumbled.

"I know," Nicole smiled despite the fact that she was legit worried about her daughter. "If we head out in half an hour, keeping in mind traffic, we should get to New York by nightfall."

"We?"

"You said you're not sleeping well. Driving while stressed and restless is asking for trouble. It's not just you now, Beca. You have a child to think about. No way you're getting behind the wheel," she firmly said. "Scowl all you want, honey, you know I'm right." She patted her cheek.

* * *

Beca was gazing out of the window while she rested her head against it while her mother drove humming the song playing the radio under her breath.

"This oddly feels like the times you drove me to school," Beca said sitting up and rotating her neck.

"It kinda does," Nicole agreed.

"I always hoped we'd get a flat tire and I'd be late for school and miss the first period," Beca confessed. "I don't know why I never fucked up a tire."

"Probably because you're too lazy to pull that off."

"Yeah, that's probably it," Beca nodded then exhaled loudly.

"Beca, I know breaking up when you have a kid together makes it hard," Nicole began to say seeing that her daughter wasn't planning on approaching the subject. "But think about how it's like when you're together and how you're better off when you're not."

"That's the thing, mom, it's not complete shit when we're together." She leaned against her seat. "I don't know, sometimes I wanna punch him in the teeth and other times I want to watch Netflix while we play footsie and cuddle," she shrugged.

"If you think there's still a chance you save your relationship go for it, Becs. Consider these couple of months a break from everything and try again."

Beca chuckled humorlessly then sighed. "Yeah, not gonna go down that rabbit hole again."

"Again?"

"Shit," Beca muttered.

"Beca?" Nicole looked away from the road.

"Promise you won't lecture me for the rest of the ride first."

"I promise," she frowned.

"Jesse and I had been on and off throughout my pregnancy. I was feeling doubtful of our future together and when I told him we should take a break and figure shit out we found out about Joe." She paused. "I basically called all the shots and Jesse just rolled with everything." She rubbed her face. "I don't think either one us is capable of giving it another shot. Especially now that he kinda hates me. I mean, he never said it to my face but I know he blames me for everything."

"That's not right. He can't just blame you. He's a grown man, he could have done something. He can't just depend on you to keep your relationship alive and _roll_ with what you say you should do," Nicole reasoned.

"And that, mother, is why Jesse and I just can't work anymore," Beca retorted. "Besides, Jesse told me himself he's exhausted from being with me. And, honestly I'm tired, too," she declared.

"But you also still want to be with him—"

"I know I know," Beca interrupted. "It's unhealthy. Been there. Done that." She closed her eyes to rest a little. "I won't go running back to him because I miss him."

* * *

"I am so sorry, baby," Beca apologized to Joseph who she found weeping. He was babbling as he cried and she held him close to her chest rocking him in her arms.

"He was fine the whole day then he got up from a nap cranky. He exploded like an hour ago," Jesse informed filling her in as he closed the front door. Beca nodded and sat down on the couch while she unbuttoned her shirt.

"This is the most Joe stayed away from me," Beca noted while wiping Joseph's tears when he finally calmed down the moment she started nursing him.

"Won't happen again, buddy, I promise," she said as she held the little boy's gaze. "Meltdown aside, how was Joseph the whole day?" Beca looked up at Jesse. "Was the park a success?"

"Yeah, it went really well." Jesse sat down next to her. "He liked the birds and got mad when they flew away. But he had fun watching Sam play fetch with Bender then started to protest asking to play too and when Sam gave him the Frisbee he tried to put it in his mouth."

"Why do babies just love putting things in their mouths?" Beca wondered. "Do they determine the worthiness of the thing by tasting it?"

Jesse snickered while rubbing his hands together. "Could be it," he shrugged.

"So fucking dumb—ow," she hissed. "Joseph just bit me," she said. "He's so mad at me," she told Jesse who leaned in to get a better look at Joseph.

"I know we agreed he looks more like me but right now, Becs, he's all you," Jesse noted rubbing his thumb against the frown on Joseph's face.

"He looks like me when he's angry. Awesome," she deadpanned then looked up when an alarm clock went off.

"I'm making a cake," Jesse announced turning off the alarm clock on his phone as he stood up.

"Cake?" Beca echoed.

"Uh-huh."

"What's the occasion?" she wondered.

"The producer is on board. He called me," he informed her as he made his way to the kitchen.

"Oh, that's awesome!"

"Yeah, it really is. I still have to get another producer if we want the movie to look like an actual feature length film and not a school project since it's an independent film. But it's great to have him on board." She heard Jesse say from the kitchen.

"How much money do you still need?" she asked.

"I'm not taking your money," he told her in a knowing voice as he placed the cake on the counter.

"I'm not giving you money. I know where to go if I wanna do charity. This is an investment," Beca said.

"You haven't even read the screenplay." Jesse was putting chocolate frosting on the cake as he spoke.

"And I'll probably fall asleep watching the finished product," she truthfully said. "Since when do producers care about the movie? They only care about the money. Trust me, I'm a producer."

"You're a record producer," he pointed out. "And you get Grammys when you make records. You care very much about what you do." He put M&M all over the cake after he finished with the frosting.

"You haven't answered. How much money do you need?" He heard her say.

"A lot of money," he answered and smiled hearing her groan.

He then grabbed a couple of candles and put them in the cake then lit them before grabbing a couple of plates and spoons along with a knife.

"What are you doing?" Beca asked rhetorically when she spotted him. He didn't answer he instead started singing the happy birthday song.

"Dude, it's not my birthday and your candles got it wrong," she reminded him eyeing the candles that were shaped in the number 32 after he set the cake on the coffee table.

Joseph lost interest in nursing and got distracted with the cake so Beca sat him up while adjusting her bra.

"I know when you're born," he rolled his eyes. "I'm not sure I'll be in New York when you turn thirty-three, which is why the candles say thirty-two," he explained. "Now blow them, would you?" he told her gesturing at the cake.

"Yaaaaay!" Jesse exclaimed while clapping once Beca leaned closer to the cake just enough to blow the candles while she held Joseph back to keep him from throwing himself at the cake.

Joseph tried to echo his father and what he babbled was close enough.

"Thanks for this, Jess. You didn't have to," she smiled tightly at him.

"I don't get to bake anymore, I had fun making this." He waved it off then removed the candles so that he could cut her a slice. He paused when Beca's phone chimed with a text.

"Everything all right?" he asked.

"Yeah, it's just mom. She went to get dinner from Chipotle and just got out of there," she told him, typing back a reply. When they got to Manhattan they got stuck in a traffic jam so Beca figured she'd take the subway to Jesse's place because she couldn't just sit in a car while her baby threw a tantrum because he missed her, her mother went to get dinner and they decided she'd come and get them afterwards.

"Your mom is here?" he frowned.

"She'll be here soon," she told him, rocking Joseph in her lap when he rubbed his eye while trying to reach for the cake.

"I'll just wrap this to go then," he figured.

"No, I wanna have some of it now. And I have a feeling _this guy_ is gonna throw another tantrum soon if we don't let him eat the cake."

Jesse wanted to know more but could see that Beca didn't want to talk about it. He cut her a slice of cake while she reached into Joseph's bag to grab his bib and put it around his neck.

"No," she slowly said pulling the plate away from Joseph's reach when he tried to grab the cake with his hand, planning to feed him some with a spoon instead.

He babbled something back in annoyance.

"I said no," she held his gaze and almost cracked a smile at how adorable he looked when he's mad then remembered he was going to start crying soon given the fact that it was past his bedtime.

She sighed when he pouted and his lips started quivering then removed the M&Ms because he'd choke on them and held the plate within reach of him.

"Dive in, baby," she said placing a peck on his temple. Joseph grabbed a handful and stuffed it into his mouth and got overwhelmed with the sweet taste so he looked up at Beca.

Jesse went to pack cake for her to take and when he came back he didn't fight the grin that made its way into his face.

"I'm a bad parent," Beca admitted feeling his gaze.

"It's fine if he eats some," Jesse assured her. "Besides he's not much eating as he's playing with it," he added pulling his phone from his pocket to snap a picture of the little boy who was fascinated with the cake he had in his hand.

Beca tried to eat the cake while she balanced Joseph on one leg and got frosting on her nose.

"Delete that," she glared at Jesse when he took a picture that included her.

"No," Jesse shook his head. "You two look adorable," he added.

He moved and sat next to her on the couch. "This is the type of pictures you put in a scrapbook."

Beca wiped the frosting from her face then tilted her head towards Jesse. "Is it gone?" she asked.

"Huh?" he looked up.

"The mess I made with the frosting, is it gone?" she wondered.

"Uh-huh." He paused. "Just a little at the corner of your mouth," he told her. She used her tongue to get to the corner of her mouth and he found himself gravitating towards her lips then swore under his breath when she quickly looked away the moment he got too close to her face.

Jesse rubbed his face then blew a breath. "I'm sorry," he apologized. "Fuck it. I just miss you a lot, there I said it," he confessed.

Beca busied herself with wiping frosting from Joseph's face to give herself some time to keep her tone casual. "Just wait 'till these feelings go away," she uneasily said.

"And if they don't?" he wondered.

"They're gonna have to," she said after a beat. "Just don't obsess over it, Jesse. And, like, talk about it to Dr. Martins," she recommended. "You'll be fine," she continued as she put the plate on the coffee table.

"Did we do the right thing, Beca?" he found himself asking as leaned against the couch.

Beca nodded and proceeded to clean Joe's fistful of cake when he lost interest in the cake and leaned against her chest wanting to sleep.

"Longing is one of the things you experience after a breakup when you still have feelings for your ex-. It won't last forever," she sighed.

"Well, it feels wrong. We broke up before and didn't feel like this." He rested his elbows on his thighs and held his head.

"It's different. The circumstances this time are different." She rubbed his back. "Just hang in there, Jesse."

"Don't use your therapeutic voice on me," Jesse said in annoyance and frustration as he looked up.

She shook her head and removed the bib from around Joseph's neck, forcefully putting it in the bag.

"Stop playing the victim, Jesse, 'cause you're not," she deadpanned and got on her feet. "You miss me?" She looked at him. "Well, I miss you, too," she shrugged and held Joseph close her chest in a way his chin was on her shoulder.

She grabbed Joseph's packed bag. "But you don't see me complaining. 'Cause it's not fair to lump you into it. 'Cause I'm supposed to sack up and move on. 'Cause we're supposed to sack up and move on. So excuse me and my therapeutic voice for trying to be a better friend to you than I was a girlfriend," she told him and held his gaze for a second before she turned on her heels.

"Hey, where are you going? Your mom is not here yet to pick you up." Jesse rushed to the front door to keep her from leaving by standing in front of it.

"Jesse, can you please back off?" Beca spoke in an even voice for her little one's sake. "What is that you want from me, Jesse?" she asked when he shook his head. "I mean, you made up your mind and decided for _me_ how I feel about us: I respected what you wanted and we broke up. So, fucking tell me what you what now!" she said struggling to keep her voice low.

"We're very broken and neither one of us can deny that. I know I said _you_ wanted to break up but it's only because of how you've been acting Beca—you look for a fight at every given chance," he started to say. "But I miss you so much and my gut is telling me that we made a huge mistake by breaking up again." He inhaled then said, "I want to give us another shot."

"No," she firmly said.

"No?" he echoed in surprise.

"No," she insisted. "You said it, we're broken." She paused. "I frankly don't have the time nor energy to try again. Same goes for you: you got the pre-production crap to deal with for your movie and there's also Sam and this guy." She nodded at Joseph then held her phone up when it chimed with a text from her mother informing her that she had arrived.

"Mom is here," she told him as she typed back her reply. She heard Jesse open the door and looked up. He then reached inside their kid's bag and pulled his blanket placing it over him. "Sleep tight, Joseph," Jesse said to the little boy, who was rubbing his eye with the back of his hand, and placed a kiss on his forehead then stepped back scratching his beard as he eyed Beca.

"Night," he said to her.

"G'night," she replied and walked out of the apartment. "E-mail me the screenplay I'm serious about wanting to help finance it," Beca added over her shoulder.

"Okay," he nodded. "Hey, Beca, wait," Jesse called after her.

"What's up?" she sighed.

"The cake." He rushed back inside the apartment.

Beca pressed the elevator button and waited. "Thanks again for the early birthday cake," she thanked him as he put it in Joseph's bag.

"You welcome." He zipped the bag.

"Jesse, you understand why we just can't, right?" she checked not bearing the disappointed look he had in his eyes. "We can't do the whole on-again and off-again thing. A, it's not healthy. B, it's not just us anymore."

"Yeah," Jesse nodded. "But you can't deny that there must be a reason why we're still drawn to each other."

"Well, whatever it is, it is not enough," she shrugged and stepped inside the elevator.

He smiled sadly at her and nodded. "Say hi to your mother for me."

"I will."

Jesse watched the elevator door as it closed and eyed his reflection before he sighed and dragged himself to his apartment. Knowing Beca, he knew she was serious about breaking for good this time.

* * *

 _ **A week later,**_

Jesse had had a lunch meeting with the producer where they went over the pre-production plan which Jesse had spent hours working on to avoid any gaps that would make him look unprofessional. The meeting was a success which was exciting. Beca being serious about wanting to produce too was made aware via an E-mail because she couldn't be present at the meeting, despite being in L.A., she was busy getting ready for Luke's wedding.

He was lounging on his friend's Donald's couch while Joseph sat on his lap

He was scrolling down his Twitter feed and chuckled when he came across a tweet from Beca that read: _'My 6 months old stays quiet in the car as long as_ All Star _is playing. This is the kinda sacrifice parents never shut up about, right?'_

He hit the heart button and scrolled past the tweet then exited the twitter app to reply to a text he received from his daughter's stepfather.

"Sweet," Jesse murmured reading the text from Doug that was an answer to his previous text asking if he could loan him the cabin his family owned in Quebec Canada.

Doug [4:11 PM]

 _'Sure, you can have it. Planning a vacation?'_

Jesse [4:11 PM]

 _'Yeah, mostly that. But I want to see if the location would fit with the setting of the movie I'm making.'_

Jesse sat up and sipped from his root beer. He'd been plotting how he's going to change Beca's mind about them. And his plan was going piss Beca off but he was hopeful it would work out.

"I can't decide if he looks like you or like his mother," Donald, said as he eyed Joseph after placing a pizza box on the coffee table.

"He's got her eyes color and skin tone, and he has dirty blond hair like she did when she was his age, that's all for now, we'll see when he's older how he'll turn out." Jesse leaned forward and grabbed a slice of pizza. "Mom says he looks like me when I was his age, minus the paleness and blue eyes of course," he mumbled taking a bite.

"Okay, what are we playing?" Donald asked as he held two PS4 cases. "Resident evil V or Dead nation?"

"You pick," Jesse shrugged. "What?" he wondered looking down at Joseph when he heard him babble while reaching for his arm. He put the slice in the box then held him up. "Look, Don, he can stand," Jesse grinned letting go of Joseph as he stood while he kept his guard up in case his baby boy fell.

"Wow, amazing," Donald sarcastically said.

"It is amazing." He rubbed his son's back when he threw himself at him then placed a forceful kiss on his cheek, supporting his weight.

"So, the kid stays with his mom at night, right?" Donald checked.

"Yeah," Jesse nodded. "Why?"

"I thought we could go out tonight since you're headed to New York tomorrow," Donald told him as he loaded the game.

"I don't party." Jesse sat Joseph on his lap to give his attention to the game.

"You don't drink. It's not the same." Donald grabbed a bag of Doritos and leaned against the couch. "Do I give him?" he checked with Jesse when Joseph babbled demanding a Doritos chip.

"Yeah, he can have one," Jesse said. He watched Joseph bring the chip to his mouth and grimace at the taste.

"What's the point in partying when I don't drink?" Jesse wondered.

"You get to see other faces and like have fun for a change. In case you haven't noticed, you've become very boring."

"I'm not boring," Jesse disagreed not in the slightest offended.

"Prove it," Donald challenged.

"Would you call me boring if I told you that I'm going to trick Beca into going to Canada with me where we're going to stay in a place with no reception?"

"Holy shit, you're going to kidnap your ex-girlfriend?" Donald exclaimed.

"What the fuck, _no._ I'm not going to kidnap her." Jesse placed a kiss on top of Joseph's head.

"You said you're gonna trick her into going to a remote place. That's kidnapping."

"It's not kidnapping if it's romantic," Jesse shrugged. "And Joe will be with us."

"How are going to trick her?" Donald wondered as they started playing.

"Well, you know how she's co-producing the movie I'm making," he started to say.

"Uh-huh." Donald stuffed his mouth with chips.

"Well, the place we're going to is a potential set location. She told me she's serious about wanting to produce so she's gonna go check it out with me. I'm going to make sure we get stuck there for at least a week," Jesse revealed.

"Wow," Donald chuckled. "And what's the point of this master plan?"

"Isn't obvious?" he wondered. "Winning her back. She lost faith in me and it's taken me longer than it should have to realize that I can't lose her. So, we're gonna spend a week in the forest away from everything and figure everything out once and for all." He let out a happy sigh. "I have a good feeling about this."

"I take it back, you're not boring; you're insane."

"Thank you," Jesse beamed.

* * *

 **AN:** Jesse's plan is _very_ original, I know right? I hope you enjoyed this. Thank you for reading.


	25. Chapter 24

"What are the odds of a bear or a moose showing up?" Beca wondered while Jesse got Joseph out of the backseat of the rental.

"That's your first thought?" he asked back.

"Um, yeah."

"Well, Sam, Sandra, and Doug spent a couple of weeks here. I guess, it's safe to say that this area is safe," he told her. "C'mon, let's check out the place," he told her as he stuffed his hand in his pocket and pulled the keys to the cabin.

"Wow." Jesse heard Beca said in a sarcastic tone once he unlocked the door.

"It's pretty awesome, huh?" he stepped inside the cabin.

"This is where your main dude decides to kill himself, right?" Beca checked.

"Yep. What do you think, does it fit?" he asked, smiling when he tilted his head to look at her. Beca blew a breath and shrugged.

"I guess, it does," she told him. "Couldn't you have asked Doug to give you some pictures of the place instead of coming all the way here?" she wondered.

"I've never been out of the states and an opportunity presented itself." He walked further inside the cabin, exploring it.

"And as producer—"

"—co-producer," Beca corrected.

"As co-producer," he said, rolling his eyes, "you have to be involved. It's not just tossing money and waiting for profit afterward."

"I know what producers do." Beca googled the duties of a film producer and was overwhelmed by the numerous kinds of producers in film production. She stood in front of a window and eyed the nearby river. "If I wanted to _toss_ money and wait I would have tried the stock market." She pulled her phone from her pocket then tilted her head to look at Jesse who was making his way to one of the rooms.

"Jesse, I'm gonna make a phone call. I'll be outside. Don't take forever," she said, unlocking her phone.

"Oh, there's no reception," he told her in a matter of fact tone as he continued to walk away.

"What?" she said in surprise.

"We'll be out of here soon, I'm sure your phone call can wait." She heard him say.

Beca stuffed her phone in her back pocket and made her way out of the cabin and towards the river.

* * *

"Beca," Jesse called as he stood in the doorway while he rocked Joseph in his arms.

"You're done? Finally!" She paced towards the cabin.

"I think someone is hungry," Jesse nodded at Joseph.

Beca quickened her pace and took the little boy from his father. "Where are you going?" she asked Jesse who stepped out of the cabin while she walked inside it.

"Nowhere," he shrugged, trying not to look suspicious. "I'm just gonna walk around. We'll head to the motel when you're done nursing Joe, okay?"

"Yeah, okay," she nodded and sat on an armchair. "Just don't go wandering far," she told him.

"Don't worry," he smiled at her and walked away heading to the car to pull a couple of fuses from the battery so that it wouldn't start.

* * *

"This can't be happening." Beca ran a hand over her hair. Jesse tried to start the car again and as expected nothing happened.

"Jesse, fix it. We're not staying here," she firmly said.

"Calm down, Becs," Jesse said as he unlocked the door.

"Don't fucking tell me to calm down," Beca deadpanned watching him open the hood.

She was biting her fingernails when he peeked his head through the window. "Looks fine," he told her.

Beca reached and turned the key then looked up. "What are we going to do?" she asked as she began to freak out.

"Spend the night here and figure it out tomorrow," he shrugged.

"Jesse, you can't be serious."

"What do you suggest we do? Hitch a hike?"

Beca clenched her jaw at his words.

"We got the rental at the airport, we have all our stuff with us. We can spend a night here," he reasoned with her. Their plan was to go see the cabin then check into a motel and leave the next day.

"What about food? What are we gonna do about that? I can deal with Joe but what about us?"

"I saw some canned food back in the cabin." He did see canned beans but he had made a stop on the way at a gas station and bought some food.

"C'mon, Beca." He pulled his head back then reached to open the backseat and get Joseph.

Beca huffed and stepped out of the car.

* * *

 _ **Later that day.**_

"Jesse," Beca called as she walked towards Jesse who was lying on the couch playing a game on his phone. "I need to use the bathroom and Joe is still up and I don't think it's a good idea to leave a baby who's so psyched about crawling alone in a room even for a minute." she tilted her head to look at Joseph who was wide awake in her arms.

"Okay," Jesse got up. "What's up with him?"

"I don't know, he wouldn't sleep." Beca handed him the little boy.

"You know what could help him fall asleep?" Jesse said watching her make her way towards the bathroom.

"What?"

"A warm bath."

"I'll get the water running," she said before closing the door behind her.

* * *

"Did you forget to pack clothes to sleep in for yourself?" Jesse asked as he and Beca sat on the floor near the bathtub while Joseph played in the water with a rubber duck.

"No, that's not it" she curtly said, moving her fingers in the water as she leaned against the edge of the tub.

"Beca, relax. The place is very safe. There's an alarm system and all." He gestured around them. "We're safe." He gently poured water over Joseph's shoulders.

"I know," she deadpanned.

"What is it then?" Jesse frowned. "Wanna be quick to get out of here if a meanie moose attacks us?" he jokingly asked. "Worry not, Becs, we won't let any moose harm you." He grinned noting the way she was holding back a smile when he squeezed Joseph's cheek together.

"I really hope Joe falls asleep after this." She got on her knees and grabbed Joseph's shampoo bottle.

"You know what? You take a hot bath, it'll help you relax," he told her. "I'll wear him out while you're bathing."

"A hot bath does sound awesome," Beca admitted while squeezing some shampoo on her palm. "Don't give me that look," she said when she locked eyes with Joseph who was giving her puppy eyes. "The water is getting cold anyway," she reasoned with him as she gently rubbed her hand against his head.

* * *

Beca stepped out of the bathroom after a long bath feeling relaxed and hoping to find Joseph asleep. She smiled when walked into the room at the positions Jesse and Joseph were sleeping in; Jesse was laying on his stomach and had his arm over Joseph whose head was tucked in the crook of his father's neck.

She put a cover over them then turned on her heels. Beca opened her suitcase and sighed then grabbed a pair of boxer shorts and a white tank and wore them before flipping the light switch, leaving the table lap as the only source of light in the room, then carefully climbing on the bed.

As she got under the covers and got settled Jesse woke up alert. He seemed distressed as he looked around.

"You okay there?" Beca asked in a low voice as she eyed him.

"Yeah, I'm fine," he replied while rubbing his face. "Just a nightmare," he told her distancing himself from Joseph slowly as he rolled on his back.

"You still have night terrors?" she said in surprise.

"They're not as frequent or intense as they once were but yeah," he sighed.

"Do you wanna talk about it?" she carefully said offering to listen.

He shook his head then sat up.

"Wait, where are you going?" she asked when he pushed the covers aside.

"The couch," he answered.

"Stay." She looked away when he tilted his head to look at her. Jesse watched her for a moment then laid back on the bed deciding it was best if he didn't ask any questions.

"I don't remember falling asleep," he told her as he stroked Joseph's cheek. "I think I fell asleep before Joe did." He looked up.

"I don't think you're supposed to tell me that," Beca spoke in a very low voice when Joseph shifted in his sleep. "I mean unless you want to get yelled at for being irresponsible and hear a long speech where I go through different 'what if' scenarios," she told him.

"You wouldn't do that," he confidently said.

"Why wouldn't I?" Beca arched an eyebrow.

"You know very well that as careless as I might get I wouldn't let anything happen to Joseph." He leaned down and placed a kiss on their kid's forehead. "God, I love this little weirdo," he sighed.

"Me, too," Beca smiled. "You know, before we got him, the thought of having kids crossed my mind," she shared with him. "And I was so close to just blurring it out when you didn't seem to pick on any of the hints I've thrown at you," she sighed.

"Why didn't you just do that?" he asked. He already knew what she had just told him because he figured it out based on a conversation they had where she high on edible at Benji and Emily's rehearsal dinner.

"I figured that you weren't ready for another kid when you didn't get the hints," she shrugged. "I wasn't either, I just thought about it and thought we'd talk about it and the possibility of ever having a child together."

"When was this?" he asked.

"Around the time we decided to move in together," she answered.

"I got the idea of starting a family with you out of my head because you told me yourself you don't want that: You broke up with your boyfriend of three years because he wanted to marry you and start a family." Jesse sat up.

"You warming up to the idea of having a family and me completely missing it is what started it, isn't it?" he guessed in realization. "This is what started the feelings of uncertainty of our future." He clenched his jaw. "I'm such a fucking moron," he mumbled. "If I had only told you that I'd fucking love to start a family with you someday none of this would have happened," he said feeling bitter at himself.

"Don't do this now," Beca sighed sitting up as well. "Don't blame yourself." She rested her hand on his shoulder squeezing it. "I didn't bring it up. You wouldn't have known that I sort of stopped being so against the thought of having a kid."

"You tried—"

"It's not like the world ceased to exist because we broke up." She paused to swallow.

"Don't start with the bullshit pep talk. I know how hard it is for you to get those words out and I don't want to listen to you tell me how better off we are when we're apart. So, I think it's best if you just didn't." He shrugged. They sat in silence for a few seconds. "I feel like shit and I will probably start saying things that would only hurt. I'll be on the couch," he told her then got out of bed.

* * *

 _ **The next day.**_

"Look at you," Beca said to Joseph after dressing him up in a squirrel onesie. "So fucking cute!" she picked him up and placed a kiss on his cheek.

"Let's go check on dada," she sighed.

Beca stood in the middle of the cabin and frowned when she didn't find Jesse on the couch. Walking past the window, she spotted him sitting on the grass near the river. She dressed Joseph in an extra layer of clothes to avoid getting the little boy sick because of the autumn early morning breeze then grabbed a pack of crackers and made coffee for herself and Jesse before she joined him outside.

"Jesse, I didn't think the whole balancing-two-mugs-of-coffee-and-an-infant thing through. I'm gonna drop something or _someone_ ," she said as she tried to keep Joseph from reaching for one of the mugs. Jesse tilted his head as he got up and hurried to pick Joseph up from her.

"Thanks," he said accepting a mug of coffee.

"Sure," Beca smiled then look towards the river. "Well, this is nice."

"It is," Jesse agreed.

"You didn't sleep, did you?" Beca wondered after taking a sip of coffee.

He shook his head.

"Me neither." She sat down on the grass. "I couldn't. I mean I haven't had a good night sleep in so many months it feels like a distant memory. But I usually sleep for a few hours."

"Are you becoming insomniac? If you are, go see a doctor don't start a fight club." Jesse sat down next to her.

"Doc will probably give me Ambien or something similar which I can't exactly take when there's a tiny human that might need me at night." She sighed. "He'll grow up eventually."

"So, you're going to roll with insomnia until then?" Jesse checked in disbelief.

Beca shrugged in response and pulled the crackers from her sweater's pocket.

"Jesus, Joe, I just nursed you," Beca said to Joseph when he reached for the cracker she was handing Jesse.

"Not like he wants to actually eat it." Jesse pecked the boy's forehead. "He just wants to put it in his mouth to validate it, you know?" He gave him the cracker and watched him stuff it in his mouth and suck on it instead of biting.

"Is it good?" Jesse asked when Joseph looked up babbling.

"Jesse, how are we gonna get out of here? I'm trying not to freak out but it's kind of hard given the fact that we're in the middle of nowhere with no cellphone reception. I don't want us to die here."

For a moment Jesse wanted to come clean and tell her that they could leave whenever they wanted then shook it off remembering his goal.

"Don't go there, no one dies from staying in a countryside cabin," he said instead.

"I know I'm over reacting but you know I have a point!" she told him. "We can't stay here forever."

"The closest gas station is like twenty miles away. I guess I can walk there and get help," he said hoping to God she'd say no.

"Fuck no. You're not gonna do that," she told him and he had to fight looking relieved.

"Why not?" he asked as he sipped his coffee.

"Because you could get attacked by a bear," she said in a serious tone.

"Don't be absurd, Becs," Jesse chuckled.

"Jesse, we're in the French Canadian countryside, get perspective!"

"There aren't any bears in this part of Canada," he assured her. "We'd be lucky if we saw a deer, though."

"Are you being honest or are you just saying that so that I'd let you go?" she narrowed her eyes.

 _'Oh, shit,'_ Jesse thought because he really didn't want to go get help.

"We'll figure something else," she decided and put her mug of coffee down. "But for now we're staying together." She took Joseph from Jesse's lap and helped him stand while supporting his weight when he held onto her shoulder.

"Ew, don't be gross, I don't wanna eat that." She pulled her head back when Joseph tried to feed her the cracker that he had been sucking on.

"I don't mind," Jesse leaned in and opened his mouth.

"What does it taste like?" Beca grimaced as she watched Jesse take a bite.

"Special edition cracker: your regular cracker but dripping in saliva," he said imitating the voice of the people you hear on commercials. "Try it, Becs," he encouraged.

"Yeah, not happening, thank you very much." She placed a kiss on Joseph's cheek.

"Suit yourself," Jesse shrugged and sipped his coffee.

"Hey, Jesse," Beca called. "Last night I kept thinking _'what if we did have the starting a family talk'_ ," she was saying when he tilted his head to look at her. "This guy wouldn't have happened probably," she nodded at Joseph. "So next time you start blaming yourself for how things turned out, keep that in mind," she said.

"Okay," Jesse nodded and look back at the view.

* * *

 _ **Later.**_

"Jesse, wake up," Beca whispered as she shook Jesse's shoulder. "Jesse, wake the fuck up," she continued to say in a low voice only because Joseph was napping next to his dad.

"What?" he spoke in a raspy voice waking up from his much-needed nap.

"I think I fixed the car," she told him.

"You did what?" He sat up.

"The car, I fixed it. There were some loose fuses that you missed," she explained. "I can't find the car keys to start it. Where are they?"

"Um, I don't know." He did know. They were in his jeans' pocket.

"Are you kidding me right now?!" she groaned.

"Keep your voice down you'll wake Joe up," Jesse whispered as he climbed out of bed.

"You had the keys, Jesse, you need to remember where you put them!" she told him as they walked out of the room.

"I don't remember having them. You were the one starting the car while I checked the engine," he said thinking of a way to stall.

"I remember things differently. And, you're the forgetful one, Jesse," she poked his chest.

"That's not fair. You're always forgetting where you put things. You own so many damn headphones because you keep forgetting where you put them." He poked her shoulder.

"So irrelevant." She shook her head. "You lost the keys. Find them."

"You start looking, I need to use the bathroom," Jesse said and walked past her. He grabbed his jeans that were laying on the couch took the keys to keep them on him at all times.

It had just been a day and his flawed plan was already failing: Jesse knew he had to improvise.

He stood in front of the mirror and scratched his beard thinking of how he was going to stir the pot to peeve the way for himself and Beca to solve their problems.

"Fuck," he murmured and walked out of the bathroom.

"Jesse, at least pretend to look," Beca said in annoyance when she spotted him standing in a corner.

"Why are you in such a rush to leave?" he asked. "You said you fixed the car. The keys won't just disappear we'll find them. We have food." He knew he was digging for a fight but hoped it would score him some progress because pissed off Beca was way too honest.

"We can't stay," she told him as she got on her knees and bent to look under the couch.

"Why?"

"Because, Jesse," she looked up, "it's a matter of time before we sleep together."

Jesse didn't hide his surprise and it got an eye roll from Beca. "Don't look at me like that. You know that it's inevitable. And, it will complicate things so much. So just help me look for the keys so we could leave."

"If it's inevitable, what's the point in running away?" He crossed his arms and leaned against the wall.

"Are you deaf? I just told you." She stood up. "It will complicate things."

"Well, I won't try anything with you," he shrugged. "So, relax. And go get some sleep, you're getting hysterical." He turned on his heels, leaving the room.

Movies made it look easier. It wasn't. It was hard mainly because of how wrong it felt. Manipulate her into staying felt very wrong.

* * *

"Here you go," he said as he handed Beca microwaved Mac and Cheese for dinner.

"What's this?" she looked inside the bowl.

"Mac and Cheese." He sat down next to her on the couch.

"Looks edible," Beca said as she dipped a spoon.

"It's good, trust me," he mumbled bringing a spoonful to his mouth.

"I feel bad for Joe," Beca admitted as she ate while eyeing their son who was playing on the braided rug.

"Why?"

"He hasn't had any finger food for two days. And I don't think this kind of Mac and Cheese is good for him."

"He's fine, Becs," Jesse said noting the thoughtful look on Beca's face.

She nodded and brought another spoon to her mouth.

* * *

"We both know that I'm a grade-A idiot, right?" he started to say once they finished eating.

Jesse spent the whole day in conflict over what he should do and decided to come clean.

"No, you're not," Beca frowned.

"I am. And I did something that will make you angry." He paused.

"You got us stuck here on purpose?" she guessed.

He nodded.

She took a deep breath then calmly asked, "Why?"

"I want us to figure things out—"

"—Jesse," she sighed.

"No, wait, hear me out," he interrupted. "Ideally we'd work things out and get back together but that's not just it. I want us to get past our problems and give our 100% to co-parenting Joe."

"So, you thought we'd spend a few days in the forest and magically solve our problems?"

"Yes. There aren't any distractions and we can't run away from each other here. I know it's very shitty to do this to you: To go behind your back," he admitted. "But let's be real, you wouldn't have agreed to come otherwise."

"You're right. I wouldn't have."

He reached into his pocket and pulled the rental's keys. "We'll leave first thing in the morning but I really believe we should stay," he said as he gave her the keys.

He was trusting his gut that told him she'd agree to stay because she wanted the best for Joe and wanted him to grow up having parents who despite not being together had a great relationship and didn't snap at each other over the littlest things.

"Could you spend the night with us? I think I heard howling last night," Beca said as she played with the keys between her fingers.

"Yeah, sure," he nodded surprised she didn't try to kill him for what he did. "Wait, you're not asking me to go to bed with you and Joe so that you could suffocate me with a pillow, are you?"

"Yeah, Jesse, I want to kill you while our baby sleeps between us," she nodded. "But with my bare hands," she added looking up. "Pillows are for pussies," she shrugged bending to pick Joseph up when he crawled to her.

Jesse smiled then leaned over and placed a kiss on her head. "Thanks, Becs," he thanked her for not losing her mind and being understanding of his motives.

* * *

Waking up to a tiny hand patting your face was a great way to wake up in Jesse's books. He smiled opening his eyes and held Joseph up.

"Good morning, buddy," he said he sat up then frowned noting the absence of Beca. "Where did mama go?" he wondered.

He climbed out of bed and looked around for Beca then saw that the car was missing and figured she left to get something.

Jesse bathed and changed Joseph's diaper and got him ready for the day then went to see if there was anything the little boy could eat.

"Oh, look what mama left for you," Jesse said when he found a bottle of breast milk on the counter. "Mama got you covered." He grabbed the bottle and put it to heat up a little before he gave it to Joseph.

He had just handed Joseph the bottle when he saw Beca park the car in front of the cabin so he made his way to get the door for her.

"Morning," he greeted watching her grab shopping bags from the backseat.

"Morning," she replied. "There's a town a few miles south from here," she informed Jesse as she stepped inside the cabin.

"I didn't know that," he truthfully said.

"There's reception and I found a coffee place that offered WiFi," she was saying as she made her way to the kitchen.

"Cool." Jesse followed her.

"I contacted the rental agency and told them we're gonna keep the car for another week and I called in work and took a week off. Then, I went and got us some actual food 'cause we can't keep eating junk."

Jesse pulled her into a hug and rubbed her back when she hugged him back.

* * *

 **AN:** Next chapter is gonna be the last! I hope you enjoyed reading this.


	26. Chapter 25

**AN:** Alright, folks. *cracks knuckles* In the first part of the story the last chapter's events happen over a span of a week. In the second part, there was a time jump. Well, guess what, humans? This last one has both. Prepare for a lot of words. And if you guys are interested in an epilogue to this story do tell.

Disclaimer: there will be typos because I can't bring myself to proofread. It's hard for my brain... and I'm whining like a twelve-year-old. ENJOY.

* * *

 **Present.**

"Jesse, whatever happened with the man that shot you?" Dr. Mitchell asked as accepted a glass of champagne from Jesse.

"He's getting help," Jesse answered. "He's very troubled mentally." He's had been keeping tabs on Spencer through Christina.

"I told you to use the spoon," Beca was saying to Joseph who was stuffing his birthday cake into his mouth using his hand. "I know you know what I'm talking about," she confidently said as she held his gaze. Jesse smiling hearing her and excused himself from Dr. Mitchell.

"It's his birthday, Beca, let him be." Jesse threw an arm around her shoulder.

"You clean him up later then." She shrugged his arm off and walked away.

Jesse watched her for a moment then tilted her head feeling a tap on his shoulder.

"Chloe, Stacie, hey," he grinned.

Chloe smiled shaking her drink tilting her head to look at Joseph who was sitting in his high chair enjoying the birthday's banana cake.

"We were talking just now about you and Beca," she sighed looking back at Jesse.

"Okay," Jesse nodded not knowing what to say.

"You two are really good at co-parenting Joseph."

"Thanks, Chloe," he thanked her.

"I know someone who's going through a divorce and they have a kid with their ex-, is there anything you could tell me that I could tell this person to help make things easier?"

"Do I know them?" Jesse asked as he drummed his fingers on the cup of coke he was holding.

"No, she's from work," Chloe shrugged.

"Well, tell her to just clear things up with her ex- and put the kid first," he casually said.

"Does clearing things up include spending a week with their ex- in god knows where?" Stacie wondered.

Jesse smiled figuring out what was going on: ever since he, Beca, and Joseph got back from Canada everyone had at some point tried to get either him or Beca to tell them what happened. It was private so all the attempts failed.

"Whatever works," Jesse shrugged.

* * *

 **Six months earlier.**

 _Day #2 (in the cabin.)_

"Wow," Beca slowly said when Jesse stepped out of the bathroom and her eyes fell on his face.

"Whatcha think?" he asked rubbing his chin.

"I can't say I hate it. But I don't like it either," she said as she eyed the mustache he left after he shaved his beard that was getting out of control. "I mean you don't look homeless anymore."

"Well, I like it." He shrugged. "What are you making?" he asked as he walked towards the kitchen where Beca was standing.

"Some tea," she informed him. "Want a mug?" she asked offering to make him one.

"Yeah, sure," he accepted. "Joe's still napping?" he wondered.

"Yep," Beca nodded. "He'll wake him up in like an hour from now hungry." She looked up and eyed him closely. "Dude, you look so weird with a mustache." She handed him a mug of tea.

"I'm owning the dad look," he told her gesturing to the t-shirt he was wearing that had 'DAD AF' printed on it.

He grinned at the eye roll his words got.

"How are we doing this, Jesse?" Beca wondered as she made her way to the dining table where she left her laptop and a few notes.

"Let's start off by telling each other what dislike the most about each other," he suggested taking a seat facing her.

"Wow, off the bat? Okay," she nodded adjusting her chair. Jesse rested his arms on the table and interlocked his fingers.

"I think we should write them down." Beca grabbed an empty sheet and a pen and placed them in front of him.

"I'm gonna go get another pen," she told him and got up.

"Okay." Jesse watched her leave the room then looked down at the sheet and sighed grabbing the pen.

Beca was back in less than a minute and immediately started writing. "You read the stuff I write and I read the stuff you write, okay?" she said without looking up.

"Yeah, okay," Jesse shrugged.

"Okay, I'm done," Beca told him.

"Already?" He arched an eyebrow.

"Yeah, I know what I don't like," she shrugged putting the pen down.

"Okay, I'm done, too," Jesse announced five minutes later. He handed her the paper and took the other one from her then cleared his throat.

"-You take me for granted

-You're too depended on me.

-You give up too fast.

-You settle for temporary solutions to big problems," he read out loud then looked up.

"-You either obsess over things or you're indifferent: There's hardly ever a middle ground.

-I hate the way you just shut me out sometimes.

-You're not appreciative enough of anything I do," Beca read. "What's the last one supposed to mean?" she arched an eyebrow. "I appreciate the stuff you do even when it's not enough."

"Well, you hardly ever show it," he shrugged.

"What do you want me to do? Throw you a parade whenever I appreciate something you've done?"

"I'm not asking for that. I'm not asking for anything, really," he said. "We're just talking about the things we dislike about each other. And I really dislike that about you. You just expect me to Ace things because if it were you doing them you'd find no trouble accomplishing them so you just assume they're easy. You forget that you're an overachiever and it's infuriating."

"Noted," Beca slowly nodded processing his words.

They went over the rest of the points they made and discussed them very maturely—ie they didn't defensive.

"And that's my cue," Beca said, hearing Joseph wake up in tears, pushing her chair back before she stood up.

Jesse leaned against his chair and watched her as she walked away. He picked up a pen and doodled until she came back. He grinned seeing that she brought Joseph with her.

He took him from her and placed a kiss on his cheek before he sat him on the table.

"Uh-oh, he doesn't recognize you," Beca noted in sing-song when Joseph frowned as he eyed Jesse who had never seen without a beard.

"Wait, don't talk. He might recognize your voice," she told Jesse as she grabbed her phone from the table.

"Joe, who is this?" she asked as she started filming. She snickered when Joe tilted his head to look at her in confusion.

"Joe, it's dada." She rested her hand on Jesse's shoulder squeezing it. "Joe?" she called when looked back at Jesse and his bottom lip started quivering.

"Aww," she cooed.

"It's me," Jesse said. "Dada."

Beca handed Jesse her phone and picked Joseph up when he reached for her as he began to cry.

"Baby, it's dada," she told him while rocking him in her arms. "We love dada, don't we?" she asked him, wiping his tears away.

In the midst of all the incoherent babbling, Joseph babbled dada.

"Yeah, dada," Jesse nodded, getting up, and placed a kiss on his cheek then pulled his head back when he felt Joseph's palm on his cheek.

"It'll grow back," he told him and kissed him again.

"Dada dada dada…" the little boy repeatedly said.

"Joseph doesn't like the mustache, Jesse," Beca said still rocking Joseph in her arms.

"He'll warm up to it," he shrugged. "Because I'm totally keeping the mustache." He put Beca's phone aside.

"C'mere, buddy," he said to Joseph as he extended his arms.

"Go ahead," Beca encouraged when Joseph tilted his head to look at her. She leaned over towards Jesse and handed him their son who was a bit relented.

"Well done, Jesse, you managed to confuse the shit out of your son!" Beca said in fake enthusiasm as she patted his shoulder. "What, you said I'm not appreciative enough," she shrugged at the look he shot her.

"I'm gonna go for a walk," she told him as she turned on her heels. Jesse considered going after her then decided to let her have some space. They spent an hour criticizing each other and it was hard not to get defensive.

* * *

Jesse was laying on the couch playing with Joseph who was laying on top of him when Beca came back from her walk.

"Hey, Becs, come sit with him while I go to the bathroom real quick," Jesse said sitting up.

Beca made her way to the couch and sat down smiling when Joseph grinned the moment he saw her.

"C'mere, buddy," she said picking him and stepped aside to let Jesse through before she sat down on the couch.

"What's that you got there, buddy?" she asked gesturing at the folded paper Joseph was holding then took it from him and helped him sit on her lap while she unfolded it.

' _I adore you because:_

 _*You're very passionate about what you love._

 _*You make great sandwiches._

 _*You're so thoughtful._

 _*You get out of your comfort zone to make those you care about happy._

 _*You're tough AF. (Both emotionally and physically—it really hurts when you punch me in the shoulder, stop doing it please.)_

 _*You're unpredictable and so damn hard to read._

 _*You very strong willed._

 _*You have a bigger heart than what you lead people to believe._

 _*You let me use your skincare products._

 _*If it weren't for your constant encouragements I would have never gotten anywhere near where I am in my career.'_

Jesse got out of the bathroom and was watching her from a distance.

"I can't believe you put making sandwiches on here," Beca said as she eyed the list of things he wrote.

"You _do_ make awesome sandwiches," he shrugged.

"Aren't unpredictability and being hard to read bad qualities?" she asked clearing her throat.

"Not necessarily," Jesse said as he walked towards the couch. "You surprise when you do things the unexpected way and I freaking love that about you. As for being hard to read: it just means that there's still a lot to know about you, you're not an open book. As frustrating as it can get sometimes, it's what makes you you." He sat down next to her. She scooted closer to him so he wrapped an arm around her shoulder and embraced her.

"Thank you," she mumbled against his chest.

"Those were some of the stuff I fucking love about you but inappropriate things in my head wanted to make their way onto the list so I stopped when I stopped," he said as he rested his chin on her head.

"Good call." He heard her say as he helped Joseph stand up. He chuckled when Joseph threw himself at him and supported his weight.

"There's that and the fact that when I counted them and saw that they were ten things, I figured it would be like in the movie _ten things I hate about you_. You didn't get the reversed reference, of course, right?"

She shook her head. "I'm sorry, Jesse," Beca sighed looking up.

"For what?" he frowned.

"For acting like an ass just now," she told him.

"Hey, I don't like what you said about me either. It hurt to hear you say that I'm co-depended but the hurt is the motivation I need to fix that problem and the rest." He rubbed her arm. "We're different, Becs. We deal with things differently." He smiled and held gaze then looked away when he felt like leaning and kissing her.

"I think I'm gonna go for a swim," he shared with her as he continued to rub her arm.

"Jesse, it's cold."

"It's good for your health to swim in cold water," he shrugged and pecked Joseph's cheek. "I read about it."

"Oh yeah?"

"Yeah," Jesse nodded. "It boosts your immune system. It burns calories," he cited. "It gets your blood pumping—you have bad blood circulation, you should swim in cold water," he pointed out.

Beca sat up thinking about his suggestion.

"I saw a bottle of vodka in that book shelve over there it drink some for warmth," he nodded towards the book shelve.

"Jesse I can't just drink from that."

"Why? You could pump milk for Joe and he's good to go until you produce alcohol-free milk."

"This isn't about the milk. Everything here doesn't belong to either one of us."

"It's not like you're gonna drink the whole thing! You're just gonna take a few shots of vodka to warm up," he casually said as he watched Joseph try to climb him.

"Need a little help, weirdo?" he asked placing his palm under Joseph's butt to give him a boost.

"I really hate that you put it in my head," Beca murmured getting up.

"Go, Mitchell," Jesse hollered grinning. He made a face tilting his head to look at Joseph and made him laugh.

* * *

"God!" Beca exclaimed after swallowing a shot of Vodka. "My throat is on fire. What is this poison?" she said as looked at the label to read it.

"It's in Cyrillic," she told Jesse.

"Which means it's the good kind of poison," Jesse concluded watching Beca blow a breath and jump in her spot while rotating her neck and holding the towel she had wrapped around herself after taking off her clothes in the bathroom.

Beca waited for a reasonable amount of time before she took another shot.

"Alright. To the river!" she put the bottle down. "I didn't bring clothes because I thought we're staying just for the weekend. So, don't peek," she mentioned casually.

"Wait, you're gonna skinny dip?" he asked in surprise.

"Yeah. I can't ruin the underwear I brought with me," she shrugged and started making her way out of the cabin.

Jesse very shamelessly watched her as she dropped the towel before she got in the water. "Dude, that's mama," he said after looking down at Joseph. "Don't stare at mama," Jesse put a hand over boy's eyes.

Joseph held onto Jesse's hand and tried to remove it while he babbled.

"What was that?" Jesse removed his hand. "Did you just say mama?" he checked while holding his son's gaze.

"Mama," Joseph very hesitantly said.

Jesse hopped off the couch and paced out of the cabin heading the river.

"Beca," he called.

"What?" she asked.

"Come out of there," he gestured with his hand for her to get out, bending to grab the towel. He closed his eyes and held it out.

"What's going on?" she asked as she got out of the water and wrapped the towel around herself.

"Check this out." Jesse paused. "Say, mama," he said to the little boy.

"Ma-ma," Joseph repeated after his father.

Jesse grinned and looked at Beca following Joseph's gaze.

"Couldn't you have said that before I went into the water?" Beca didn't fight the grin that made its way to her face. She dried her hands before she cupped Joseph's face leaning up to kiss him.

"Say mama," she told him.

"Mama," Joseph grinned.

"Oh, baby." She kissed him again. "I know you don't know what you're saying but thank you." She pulled her head back remembering her breath was of vodka which was a little too strong for her little one's senses. "Whoa there." She held her hands up to catch him when he threw himself at her. Jesse held him back and Beca wasn't quick enough to keep the towel that she barely wrapped around herself from falling.

"Oh my god." She bent to pick it up in embarrassment. Jesse turned on his heels instantly.

"It's nothing I haven't seen before," he tried to reassure her as he held Joseph who was trying to look over his shoulder more steadily.

Hearing a splash, Jesse tilted his head and blew a breath. "Mama is something, isn't she?" he said to the boy whose head was tilted towards the river too then pecked his temple.

* * *

 _Day #3 (in the cabin.)_

"Dude, right now, you're a stereotype in its human form," Beca noted as stood eyeing Jesse who was cutting wood for the fireplace.

It was barely autumn and during the day it was relatively warm but during the night it got cold which Beca and Jesse could handle but they didn't want to put Joseph at any risk so they figured it was best if they lit the fireplace.

"I don't know what you mean by that, eh," Jesse said in a terrible Canadian accent as he held the maul against his shoulder.

"You're wearing a flannel, got a mustache, and you're cutting wood. Need I say more, Lumberjack?" she said as she held back a smile.

"A lumberjack cuts down trees, Bec," Jesse pointed out resuming his work.

"Jesse, I think that's enough wood," Beca said noticing the way he winced once he lifted the maul over his head.

"Just this one," he grunted hitting the wood.

"What is it, Joe?" Beca tilted her head to look at the little boy she was holding in her arms when he babbled something in awe. He waved his arm as he looked at his father while still babbling.

"Jesse, I think Joe wants to split wood, too," she told Jesse.

Jesse drove the maul right through the chopping block and took a moment before he looked up. "The maul is about his weight. In a few years, buddy."

"Jesse, go rest. I'll bring the wood inside." Beca made her way to him. "You did all the hard work." She wiped the sweat that formed on his forehead with the back of her sweatshirt.

"Does it hurt whenever you pull any effort?" she wondered placing her hand on his shoulder.

"No," he shook his head. "Only when I push it."

"Don't push yourself then." She squeezed his shoulder.

"I'm supposed to get myself through it. But I've been busy to hit the gym and slowly work on getting myself to handle pain until it eventually stops to ache so much," he told her.

"Start slow and like go for a run in the morning," Beca suggested. "Just don't push yourself too hard and end up collapsing."

Jesse rolled his eyes. "I won't collapse. I'm fine, Becs. Physically, I'm very fine. It just hurts when I go overboard," he assured her.

"I don't mean to come off paranoid all the time," Beca chuckled humorlessly. "It's just that I saw you in a pool of your own blood and I honestly thought you died," she told him. "And the fact you haven't been yourself ever since makes me think that a part of you did die that night." She paused feeling a lump in her throat.

Jesse pulled her and Joe who was in her arms into a hug. "I know I zone out a lot but I'm working on filling the emotional void that night caused."

"I know you are," Beca mumbled against his chest. "And I'm very proud of you." She wrapped an arm around his waist. "Fuck, I'm sorry I don't show it enough." She gripped his flannel.

"That part really stuck with you, huh?" Jesse rested his chin on top of her head. She nodded.

"Beca, I know that you appreciate what I do. I guess you could say I like to hear you tell me." He pulled his head back when she looked up. "I need validation," he shrugged. "I take back what I said earlier. A parade every time you deem me worthy of your appreciation sounds awesome." He grinned when she rolled her eyes.

"Take Joe and get inside," she sighed. "I'll bring in the wood." Beca pulled away and handed Jesse Joseph.

* * *

"Look at what I found," Beca said to Jesse who sat on the braided rug near the fireplace playing with Joseph.

"You know how to play it, right?" she asked tossing the harmonica she found for Jesse to catch.

"Yeah, but I haven't played in ages," he said catching it and flipping it in his hand. "It's Blues harp," he told her bringing it to his lips to playing some random notes.

"I'm gonna play you the first thing I learned how to play the harmonica," he mumbled.

"Wow me, Jesse." Beca sat Indian style on the rug and grabbed Joe's stuffed giraffe.

Jesse played the Pokémon theme which really pleased Joseph.

"Thank you," he thanked Beca who was slow clapping for him when he finished. "The tone is a real panties dropper."

"Well, Joe looks awestruck," Beca pointed out as she watched the little who was eyeing his father with so much wonder in his eyes.

"What is it, buddy?" Jesse asked. "Do you like the harmonica?" He waved the instrument.

Joseph followed Jesse's hand movement with his eyes before he crawled towards him.

Jesse helped him sit on his lap. "I'll teach you how to play it when you're old enough." He placed a kiss on the top of the boy's head who was busy exploring the harmonica that Jesse let him hold.

"So, I was thinking earlier," Beca started to say. "You still haven't hired an executive producer, right?"

Jesse nodded.

"An executive takes care of the finances and like the budget and contracts and all, right?" she checked.

"Yeah, why?" he wondered as he kept Joseph from stuffing the harmonica into his mouth.

"You should ask Christina. She has a Ph.D. in Economy. She knows shit. I feel bad for wasting her skills on the stuff I make her do."

"Thanks for bringing her up. She's actually perfect for the job." He hid the instrument behind him.

"I thought so, too." She watched the way Joseph wasn't having it and wanted to put the harmonica in his mouth which was why he began to fuss.

"I'll ask her when we're back in New York."

"Cool." Beca clapped to get Joseph's attention. "Time to go to sleep, buddy," she said gesturing for him to come to her.

Joseph crawled to her. She picked him up and got on the couch then unzipped her sweatshirt.

She stroked Joseph's cheek while he nursed. "Jesse, could you please turn off the lights?"

"Yeah, sure." Jesse got up and flipped the light switch then carefully sat down next to her. "Do you want me to spend the night with you two?" he asked.

Jesse knew the answer was yes: the night before he went to bed with them without asking because it felt natural.

"If you want," she mumbled fixating on Joseph who was struggling to keep his eyes opened.

"Why did you ask me to stay our first night here?" Jesse hesitantly asked.

"'Cause you were comfortable and I didn't want you to give up the warmth of the bed for this less than comfortable couch that will definitely give you a sore neck," she explained. "Besides, you had just woken up from a night terror, I didn't want you to be alone," she added looking up. "Still don't wanna talk about it?" she checked.

Jesse shifted in his seat and looked away from her gaze.

"Jesse, you don't have to tell me. And I won't obsess over it, I promise. It's just that I know that the Jesse I've known for almost seven years would find comfort in talking about what bothered him." She looked back at Joseph.

"You know what? We're here to talk and clear things up. So, let's about it." Jesse inhaled deeply. "For the months you spent at the hospital doing your best to keep Joe inside the womb, I learned to keep it all in, bottle it down. I hated lying to you. I hated pretending. And, I hated how I couldn't talk to you when you got better. You were so happy about Joseph and I couldn't bring myself to ruin that for you." He shrugged. "I wanted to open to you all those times you tried to talk to me."

"But shutting me out was easier," she finished for him. "And the more I tried to get you to talk the more annoying I became," she sighed looking up. "Shutting everyone out is easy but it's so fucking lonely." She paused. "I think a selfish part of me knew how bad it got with you but I didn't want to pull more effort. Instead, I chose to get mad at you." She exhaled. "This is all my fault, isn't it?" she sniffed feeling the tears form in her eyes.

"No, it isn't," he disagreed. "We both fucked up," he shrugged. "We got carried away, Beca. And, it really sucks." He rubbed her back. "But it's not just you. If I weren't too fucking dependent on you and let you take charge of everything instead of being a part of the decision-making things would have turned out differently." He watched Beca hold Joseph who had fallen asleep against her shoulder.

"Last night I had a moment of clarity and I came to the conclusion that we should stop playing the blame game," he told her. "I can honestly admit that I was wrong. I made so many bad decisions our relationship wise," he sighed. "I might not like how things turned out—scratch that, I fucking hate how things turned out—but I'm done blaming you and myself," he decided.

"Do you think you can do that, too?" he asked. He arched an eyebrow when Beca didn't reply and kept looking at the fireplace. "Becs?"

Jesse curtly smiled when she nodded then leaned in and pecked her temple.

* * *

 _Day #4 (in the cabin.)_

"I can feel you staring," Beca said from her spot in the yard in front of the cabin facing the river. She tilted her head. "I'm sure you can find something else to look at," she told him.

"I'm interested in what you're doing," he shared with her.

"Wanna try yoga?" she asked doing a different pose.

"Um, yeah," he nodded.

"Joseph is still tight asleep?" she asked getting up.

"Yes. And the makeshift fortress is untouched," he assured her. "He's curled up."

"Good," she rotated her neck. "If you want I could teach you some easy poses," she offered.

"You think I can do it? You know I'm not the most flexible," he grimaced.

"Oh, you're flexible." She paused realizing her tone was a little flirtatious and hoped he missed it. "Besides, yoga is basically stretching but like stretching muscles that you didn't know you could stretch."

"Isn't yoga all about the Zen and peace within one's self?" Jesse wondered.

"Yeah, I can't do that part. I do it for the stretching because it weirdly helps me lose weight when I regularly go for runs."

"I don't wanna lose any more weight," Jesse frowned stretching his arms. Beca rolled her eyes. "Don't roll your eyes. Half of my wardrobe doesn't fit me. I'm in a really shitty shape."

"Jesse, a few yoga poses won't affect your weight."

"Yeah, you're right," he agreed. "What do I do?" he asked reaching her.

Beca smirked then said, "get down on all four."

Jesse hesitantly got down on the towel she had put on the grass. "I'm a little scared."

"You should be," she was saying as she bent while resting her palms on her knees.

At first, she made him do some easy poses to get him to ease up and let his guard down before she moved to harder poses that even she had a hard time pulling off.

"Beca, this feels wrong," Jesse uneasily said as he pulled his left leg closer to him while bending towards the right and trying to reach the toes of the other leg that he was trying to keep flexed.

"Jesse, you're not bending enough," Beca got on her knees and slowly helped him bend.

"Oh, it burns." He sucked in a deep breath.

"Then you're doing it right," she rubbed his side. "Wait, if it's your stomach then stop, Jesse, you might hurt yourself."

"No, I'm fine," he exhaled. "Just stop what you're doing, it's distracting."

"Sorry." She pulled her hands away. "Try to reach your toes, I'm gonna check on Joseph."

"Okay," Jesse squeaked bending closer to the right despite the pain he was feeling.

She was in and out of the cabin in a minute and had brought a bottle of water with her.

"Still asleep?" Jesse asked.

"Yep." Beca put the bottle down. "All right enough of this pose," she decided and watched him let go.

"Yoga is hard," Jesse concluded grabbing the bottle of water. "How can anyone find peace when everything is aching?" he wondered after he swallowed the water.

"Beats me," Beca shrugged. "Still up for some Yoga?"

"Yeah," he nodded putting the bottle aside.

"Stretch for the next pose you're gonna try," she recommended.

"Okay." He rotated his neck. "Wait, Becs, could you get me a cap? My hair is annoying me so much," he requested running his fingers through his shaggy hair that was in need of a haircut.

"I got something better than a cap," Beca said removing the elastic she was holding her hair up in a ponytail with.

"There you go," she grinned holding the hair that was bothering him with the elastic.

"I feel so attractive right now," he told her touching the hair she tied. "Thank you."

"You're welcome. Okay, let's start shall we?"

* * *

"Ow, ow, ow, I'm gonna fall," Jesse was saying as he tried to stay put on one leg while he arched the other leg back and tried to hold it with his hand.

"No, you're not, now hold your hand higher," Beca said.

"Fuck," Jesse exclaimed losing his coordination when Beca tried to help him arch his back and eventually fell to the ground.

"I think you've done enough yoga for the decade," Beca decided.

"You're enjoying this, aren't you?" Jesse said noting the way Beca was holding back a smile.

"You said you wanted to try yoga," she shrugged and extended her arm to help him stand up when he reached out his.

"I should have known you'd do this," she sighed when he put her in a headlock the moment he was on his feet. "God, I can't even elbow you," she groaned knowing that she will really hurt him if she did elbow him in the stomach.

"Ow," he exclaimed when she stepped on his foot and let go of her. "You're so violent and impulsive," Jesse was saying as he checked his foot, sounding impressed.

"Impulsive, that's a new one," Beca noted accepting his weird compliment.

"Yeah, you know you could have like broken a toe or something," he said as he moved his foot.

"Oh, don't be such a pussy."

"All right. You did not just call me a pussy," he said in mock annoyance. "I'm a fucking cheetah!"

"Side note, did you know that cheetahs sound like puppies?" Beca asked as she walked backward knowing that Jesse was planning on doing something.

"I'll spray this all over you if you come near me," she threatened, picking up the bottle of water.

"I'm not scared of water," he shrugged walking towards her.

"Jesse, I'm serious." She extended the bottle. "Fuck it, I'm outta here," she said deciding to make a run for it.

Jesse grinned before he followed her, having a hard time to run fast because of what she just did to his foot.

Catching up with her inside the cabin, he grabbed her by the arm causing her to let out a small yelp.

"Okay, Jesse, I'm sorry for making you do all those poses. And, yes, I had fun watching you struggle," she said when pinned her to the wall. "And sorry about your foot." She glanced down at his foot. Looking up she found him dreamily gazing at her. "You can let go of me now, I apologized," she told him.

Jesse slowly let go of her arms while he held her gaze. She reached and removed the elastic from his hair and tried to calm his hair then cupped his cheek. Against his better judgment, Jesse leaned in and kissed her. He wrapped an arm around her waist when her hands made their way to his hair running her fingers through it as she pulled him closer.

His free hand moved down to her butt grabbing it before it went under her tank top and to her back desperate for more contact but knew he had to hold back. He then picked her up while they passionately kissed and walked to the couch laying her on top of it and hoping whatever they were doing would last longer than he knew for sure it would.

He was the first to pull away out of breath.

"I'm gonna go check on Joseph," Beca said pushing him up gently before she could get up.

Jesse watched her pace to the room and wondered if he just fucked everything up.

* * *

"Where are you going?" Jesse jumped from his seat when Beca stepped out of the room an hour later while holding Joseph in her arms and was wearing makeup and had changed from the clothes she was wearing.

"I'm going to that town I told you about. I really need some space and I can't have that when you're like five feet away from me. And, I have to buy some clothes, I can't keep wearing your sweatpants, I'm tired of pulling them up." She paused. "I can't exactly walk around the cabin in boxer shorts all day long: it's cold and I'm not a monster." She knew what seeing her in shorts that barely covered her ass would do to him: Jesse wasn't by any chance a horndog but he was still a man with needs.

"You're taking him with you?" he nodded at the boy she was holding.

"Yeah."

"Wait, let me go get my shoes. I'm going with you—"

"—did you not hear what I just said?" she asked in disbelief.

"I'm going with you to the town 'cause we're out of juice pouches," he finished his sentence. "And, I wanna go for a walk."

"You finished the ones I bought?"

He nodded.

"Jesus, man, you need to slow down with the juice. It's not even good for your health." Beca started making her way out of the cabin.

* * *

"Okay, okay, stop shouting, we're gonna go see mama," Jesse said to Joseph who was expressing himself rather loudly. Jesse took the car and went to the only department store in the two blocks town with Joseph in tow seeing that Beca really wanted to be alone. They agreed he'd come get her in a couple of hours.

"Ma-ma," Joseph babbled as Jesse unbuckled his seatbelt.

"Yeah, mama," Jesse nodded picking him up and smiling feeling Joseph's palm on his face. He tilted his head enough to kiss his son's palm as he stepped back. From the glass window, he could see Beca sitting at a table chatting with a guy who was sharing her table.

"Huh." He started making his way to the coffee shop. Knowing Beca, he knew for sure that it was very unlikely that she had made a friend this quick.

Jesse had just stepped into the place when Beca looked up hearing Joseph's babbling that was hard to miss. He watched her as she said something to the middle-aged guy when he was still out of earshot.

"Hey," Jesse smiled politely resting a hand on Joseph's chest to keep him from throwing himself at Beca.

"Hi," Beca said reaching out her arms to take Joseph from his dad.

"Well, hello there, little guy," the man smiled broadly at Joseph before he looked up at Jesse and extended a hand.

"Kyle," he introduced himself.

"Jesse," Jesse said firmly shaking his hand.

"Jess, Kyle knows Doug," she informed him and made space for him to sit next to her.

"Really?" Jesse scooted into the booth.

"Yeah. My family owns a house across from the river and we saw the lights so. At first, I thought it was Douglas but when I e-mailed him to be sure he told me that he lend it to his wife's ex-husband," Kyle explained.

"How did you figure out that Becs is with me?" Jesse wondered.

"I heard her talk to the waiter. You don't find any Americans around here or native English speakers for that matter," Kyle shrugged. "I was just inviting you guys over for dinner," he shared with Jesse. "Beca said she'd check if you aren't up to anything first when I insisted."

"Oh." Jesse paused then tilted his head to look at Beca. "Um." He looked at her, scanning her face to see what she wanted. "Sure," he slowly said when he couldn't read shit, deciding to make the call regardless of what she wanted. She tossed him the ball. He made the call.

"Great," Kyle grinned.

* * *

"So, are we going to talk about it?" Jesse asked he stood in the doorway, watching Beca apply makeup in the bathroom, getting ready for dinner.

"You waited until now to bring it up?" she asked back.

"You said you wanted some space." He paused. "Look, I'm not gonna apologize for kissing you. So there's that. You're gorgeous and I'm very attracted to you. I'm done apologizing for kissing you when you clearly didn't mind."

"Not asking you to apologize," Beca told him turning on her heels. "When I said I wanted space from you I meant it in the literal sense. If I didn't get out of here we would have had sex," she said as she held his gaze.

"You make it sound like I don't have any self-control. And I'm a little offended by that."

"Jesse, when was the last time you had sex?" she asked as she wore her Blue Vans slip-on.

"Last time with you," he answered crossing his arms across his chest.

"Right, that's like nine months ago." She paused. "We're attracted to each other and are twenty-four seven together. I think I speak for the both of us when I say that because of all the deep talking we're in a pretty damn vulnerable place. Which means that if I crack we will have sex," she confidently said.

"Point taken."

"Just don't get near my face and we'll be fine," she sighed.

He nodded. "You look nice," he complimented her changing the subject. Given the fact that they were invited for dinner, Beca figured she'd buy some sweater from the town to wear with the only pair of jeans she brought with her.

"Thanks. You look good, too," she smiled. Jesse went to the barber he found while driving around town and got a haircut. He looked more than good. She liked seeing him in khakis and a button down. He didn't do formal that much: it was a nice change.

"So, we're good?" he checked.

"Yeah," she nodded, grabbing a pair of shoes that served no real purpose for Joseph to wear. They were adorable and that was why he wore them.

"What are you doing?" she asked Joseph who ducked his head under one of the pillows that he was surrounded with to keep him from falling off the bed.

She pulled the pillow away and smiled when he looked up grinning. "We're drooling a lot these days, aren't we?" she said slightly grossed out as she reached for a napkin to clean his mouth with it.

"His gum is preparing for the upper teeth," Jesse told her walking towards the bed then sat down and sat Joseph on his lap before he cupped his cheeks to look into his mouth while Beca sat next to him and put the shoes on their baby's small feet.

"Dude, what are you doing?" Beca asked looking up to find Jesse putting his index into Joseph's mouth.

"I'm checking his gum," he told her while he gently touched Joseph's upper gum. "Well, it's hard but I didn't see any white. Still got some time before his teeth make an appearance," he told Beca. "Ow," he said pulling his finger out. "He bit me."

"Welcome to the club." Beca gave Jesse a napkin to clean the drool from his finger. "Put his coat on and let's go. I'm hungry, I hope their food is good."

* * *

"How long has been together?" Kyle's wife, Jill asked.

"All together like four years maybe," Jesse answered when Beca didn't say anything— she was chewing and he knew she was using it as an excuse to get out of answering.

"You don't know for how long you've been together?" Jill frowned, tilting her head to look at Beca to see her reaction.

"We've known each other for over seven years and have been on-again and off-again. Got a Rachel and Ross kind of situation," Jesse elaborated, referencing Friends when Beca shrugged. "What about you, guys?" he asked looking between Kyle and Jill.

"Together for twenty-one years, married for twenty years," Kyle answered.

"Wow. That's a lot of years of waking up to the same face," Beca said genuinely but was met with laughter so she smiled and let her words let be played off as a joke.

"We had our rough patches like any other couple," Jill shrugged.

"But we made it through," Kyle finished for her.

"That's really sweet." Jesse leaned against his seat.

"Yeah," Beca agreed, resting her cheek against Joseph's head who refused to sit on the age appropriate chair the Dawson's provided and decided to act like the clingy brat he was and only stayed quiet in her lap.

"Joseph is really into the baked apple, thank you for making it for him," Jesse said glancing at his son who was furiously biting the baked piece of apple.

"Please, we haven't had a little one over in years. I had to remind myself that he couldn't eat all the things I could make him," Jill was saying as she eyed Joseph.

"What is it, Joe?" Beca asked when Joseph looked up finishing the piece he had been chewing on for the last half an hour.

"Good job, buddy," she said as she cleaned his face before she helped him stand up and placed a kiss on his cheek. He reciprocated the gesture.

"He could give kisses already?" Jill coed.

"How did you manage to get him to do that?" Kyle asked. "Jane didn't start kissing until she was ten months old," Kyle said referring to his daughter that was away in college.

"We didn't do anything, really. His sister did. She was determinant to get her baby brother to kiss her back," Jesse informed. "She's really persistent," he proudly added.

"A quality she gets from her dad," Beca added, sighing when Joseph buried his face in her neck and rubbed his nose against her skin. She rubbed his back and supported his weight when he dropped his legs counting on her to hold him.

"Is he going through the clinginess phase?" Jill asked.

"It's been going on for a couple of days, will it last long?" Beca asked.

"He's just learning that it's not just him and that there's a whole world around him," Jill told her. "It's a little scary and he needs his mommy."

Beca nodded absorbing the information then placed a kiss on Joseph's head.

* * *

 _Day #5 (in the cabin.)_

"The Dawsons totally think we're together," Jesse was saying as he and Beca laid in bed while Joseph slept between them.

"I'm pretty sure they think we're married, 'cause I'm wearing grandma's ring," Beca chuckled holding her left hand up.

"Why are you wearing it, though? I noticed that you never take it off."

"It's one of my favorite rings. I like that it's fancy. Grandpa had a dope ass taste," she shrugged eyeing the ring on her finger.

"He really did. It's beautiful." Jesse was holding her hand and eyeing the ring closely as he spoke.

"You know else is beautiful?" he asked letting go of her hand and resting his head on his elbow using it as a pillow. "The Dawsons' relationship."

"Did you feel the sexual tension between them or was it just me that noticed?"

"Yeah," he smiled. "I felt it, too. They're really in love."

"I always thought sexual tension fades when you're in really long term relationships," Beca shrugged taking a lock of her hair around her finger and twirling it.

"It doesn't have to." He sighed. "Not when the relationship is strong."

"And the couple has great sex like all the time," Beca concluded. "I'm talking erotic novels great," she added when he chuckled.

"Fifty shades great?" Jesse asked.

"You think the Dawsons' are into BDSM?" Beca smirked.

"Beca, I don't need that mental picture in my head. You know what, we should stop talking about this."

"No, wait I think I'm onto something." Beca rested her weight on her elbow as she turned to look at Jesse. "People who are really experimental in the bedroom wouldn't get a chance to get bored with their partner. Like, they'd start doubting their relationship then have amazing sex and be like _fuck that noise this relationship rules_."

"Beca, you should never give relationship advice. What you just said is a recipe for disaster."

"I just theorizing," she shrugged laying back on the bed.

"I agree with some of what you said. A good sex life is important." He paused. "Becs, was the sex good?" he asked, referring to themselves, checking if it had a hand in what happened to them.

"Yeah, sex was fine when we had it," she answered thoughtfully. "You know what I think weakened us?" She tilted her head. He nodded for her to keep going.

"We stopped having those deep talks we used to have. We used to get deep even over the phone when one of us was away."

"Yeah, why did we stop doing that? I enjoyed those times." Jesse frowned.

"Like you said a couple of nights ago: we got carried away," she smiled sadly at him. "You got lazy and depended on me and I got indifferent," she shrugged. "Which really sucks." She let out a heavy breath.

"Yeah, it really does," Jesse agreed as he stroked Joseph's cheek. "But if I got a chance to start over I wouldn't do anything differently." He leaned down and placed a kiss on top of Joseph's head.

"Me neither." Beca smiled when Jesse looked up. He leaned over and placed a kiss on her forehead in an attempt to comfort her, noting how watery her eyes had gotten, then laid back on his back extending his arm enough he could envelop both Joseph and Beca.

Beca wiped the tears that fell and scooted closer to Jesse.

"I think it's time we went back home," Jesse said resting his cheek against her head while he rubbed her back. "Don't you think?"

She cleared her thought and snuggled up to him finding a comfortable position. "Yeah."

"I'll book us flights. You stay in with Joe."

"Okay."

* * *

Day #6.

It was eleven twenty-two in the pm when their Uber parked on Beca's street.

Joseph was still clinging to Beca. Other than that, things had changed. Beca and Jesse were in a better place. It wasn't ideal but they worked things out and we were definitely going to co-parent Joseph better, which was their top priority.

"You think Bender had fun for the week?" Jesse asked as he and Beca walked into the elevator heading up to her penthouse. Bender stayed at Beca's place with Bumper, Amy, and Stacie.

"Yeah, I let Bumper babysit Joe. Bender's in good hands," Beca assured him.

"That's very comforting," Jesse said peeking his head to check on Joseph whose head was tucked into his mother's neck fast asleep.

"I'm gonna go put Joe in his crib," she told Jesse. He nodded and pecked the little boy's temple.

Hearing a bark they both tilted their heads.

"Jesse, calm him down. He can't wake Joe up," she was saying as she checked on Joseph.

"Yeah, yeah," Jesse grinned bending to play with his fluffy and much bigger baby. "Bender, buddy, I missed you." He hugged the dog.

"Beca, is that you?" Stacie asked, stepping out of her bedroom in a robe.

"Hey, Stacie," Beca greeted opening the door to Joseph's nursery.

"When did you get home?" Stacie asked.

"Just now. There was a delay with the airplane. Then we got stuck in a traffic jam," she sighed and walked into the nursery.

She pecked Joseph's cheek as she sat down on the armchair near his crib and started removing all the unnecessary clothes off of him.

"Where were you?" Stacie asked, leaning against the doorway.

"Stace, keep it low. Joe can't wake up," Beca whispered getting up to put Joseph in his crib then walked out of the room with Stacie in tow.

"Where are Amy and Bumper?" Beca asked.

"They went out. It's date night or something."

"And you stayed in?" Beca asked in surprise.

"Andrew came over," Stacie shrugged.

"Andrew, Officer Andrew?"

"Yeah, him."

"Well, where is he?" Beca asked. "Did he leave?"

"No, he's sleeping over. Said he had a tough day at work," she shrugged playing it cool.

"Aww, Stacie, I didn't know things were this serious with him. You let him sleep over when he's tired and not because he just dozed off after sex and that is a huge step."

Stacie rolled her eyes at Beca's sarcastic words and decided not to reply.

"Jesse, hey," Stacie stretched out the words.

"Stacie, how's it going?" Jesse straightened up while Bender jumped his leg.

"Going great," Stacie said. "Wow, digging the mustache." She gestured at his face. "But I can't say you're a DILF 'cause the mustache reminds me of my own dad and I can't go that far."

"Thank you," he thanked her. "Where's his leash and the rest of his stuff?" he wondered nodding at Bender.

"I'll go get them," Stacie said as she began walking.

"I don't think I've ever seen Bender this happy," Beca noted.

"Yeah. I'm happy to see him, too." He took the leash from Stacie when she came back.

"I'll see you around?" Jesse said straightening up.

Beca nodded and walked towards him giving him a tight hug.

"Night," she said pulling away.

"Good night." He started walking towards the elevator.

"Beca, what is going on?" Stacie asked the moment the elevator door closed.

Beca shrugged and kept fixating on the door.

"Well, are you hungry? 'Cause I'm making myself a snack."

"Yeah, sure," Beca nodded.

"What do you want? Peanut butter and jelly?" Stacie frowned eyeing Beca.

"Uh-huh. Sounds good," Beca absent-mindedly said.

"Okay," Stacie sighed and walked to the kitchen.

Beca sucked in a deep breath then paced to the elevator deciding to listen to her guts that told her to go after him.

The elevator ride felt like an eternity as Beca stomped her foot. She ran out of the building and was glad to see Jesse didn't get far.

"Jesse?" she called.

He stopped in his tracks. "Becs?"

"I didn't tell you the things I adore about you," she said as she ran towards him.

"You don't have to tell me. I know I'm adorable."

"Shut up, I'm not going to list things I love about you, your ego can do without them: I'll e-mail them to you if you want," she said the moment she reached him. "I have never seen Friends before but I remember Bumper binge watching it. I know about Rachel and Ross. What I don't know is how their story ends. But since it's a sitcom I guess the writers let them be together by the finale episode."

Jesse nodded.

"I wish our life was a sitcom," she told him letting out a humorless chuckle. "We get back together then kiss in a very television-friendly way while a cheesy-ass song plays in the background."

"That does sound awesome," Jesse smiled.

"No, it's cheesy."

"Cheesy is awesome."

"Let's agree to disagree, shall we?"

"Okay," Jesse laughed. "Then are you sure a sitcom happy ending is what you want?"

"Isn't every ending is a new beginning?"

"Yeah, it is," he agreed.

"Then yeah, I can do cheesy if it meant I could get a new beginning." She paused. "With you." She ran her fingers through her hair. "Jesse, I have this really annoying feeling that is telling I can't let you go."

Jesse pulled his phone and unlocked it and it wasn't long until Earth, Wind and Fire's September's start playing.

"Background music is set. Got like four minutes to wrap things up," he told her then started humming along to the song and as he was about to start singing Beca cupped his face and kissed him very inappropriately.

Jesse tightened his hold of the leash as he kissed her back. They kissed until Bender started jumping on Jesse's leg and broke them apart.

"What?" Beca asked noting the thoughtful look on Jesse's face as he lowered the volume.

"I'm thinking," he told her. "I'm thinking of what comes next."

"Um—"

"—No, don't. I got this," he interrupted.

"Okay," Beca nodded wrapping her arms around herself.

"Okay, I know what we should do. And it's up to debate. You don't have to agree, cool?"

"Yeah, cool."

"Right, so we shouldn't get back together."

"Pardon?" Beca arched an eyebrow.

"Hear me out." He paused. "What just happened right now means there's hope for us to make it work and stop breaking up every two minutes. But we can't just let our hearts take the wheel—believe me I know the feeling you're talking about, I have it, too— I love you and Joseph so much and I don't want to throw what we managed to do away. So, let's take our time with this." He took a deep breath. "Take time to see if what you're feeling right now isn't temporary and due to being together for a week in the middle of nowhere."

Seeing that Bender had calmed down, Jesse stepped closer to Beca. "What do you think?" he asked.

"You're right." She nodded after a beat. "If we're right for each other we'll get back together." She shrugged. "Even if we don't, it's fine."

Jesse nodded pulling her close to him. "That's fine, too." He leaned down and kissed her grinning as he turned up the volume of the song.

"And, that's a wrap!" Jesse said pulling way the moment the song ended. Beca rolled her eyes and stepped back.

"Night, Jesse," she smiled at him.

"This is the end credit track," he told her playing Passion Pit's Carried Away as she walked away.

"I didn't think you could out-nerd yourself," she shook her head in amusement. "You just did, congratulations," she said over her shoulder.

"Thank you," he grinned.

* * *

 **Present.**

"Beca?" Chloe called stepping into the kitchen.

"Yes, Chloe?" Beca answered as she climbed on a chair.

"Wait, what are you doing up there?"

"I have a headache from all the noise in the house and I remember leaving some painkillers up here," she told Chloe as she looked on the wall shelf.

"Found them," she exclaimed grabbing the bottle.

"Joseph is having a lot of fun," Chloe casually said as she watched Beca hop off the chair.

"Yeah, he is," Beca agreed, popping a couple of pills. "What is it, Chlo?" she asked after washing the pills down with water.

"Are you hooking up with Jesse?" she asked.

"Nope. Where did that come from?" Beca wondered.

"Stacie and I have been watching you." She paused to register her friend's reaction. Beca had a blank look on her face. "So much sexual tension between you and I saw how you leaned in when he hugged you. You wanted to kiss him."

Beca rolled her eyes.

"Beca, cmon just tell me you are back with him. I want my best friend to be happy."

"Chloe, I am happy."

"Don't give me that crap."

"Listen, I know you care about me a lot that it can get annoying sometimes but I kinda need you to believe me when I say that I'm happy, okay?"

"God, Beca," Chloe groaned. "Fine." She held her hands up.

"Becs," Jesse called as he walked into the kitchen.

"Yeah?" she tilted her head.

"Sam wants to stay over. She's having the time of her life with Grace and Joseph. But mostly Grace. 'Cause Joe isn't interested in playing he just wants to eat cake."

"Are you really asking for permission?" She arched an eyebrow. "Of course, she can stay. There's plenty of room."

"Awesome," he smiled.

* * *

"Hasn't crashed yet?" Beca asked as stood in the doorway of Joseph's nursery.

"Joe is enjoying his new bedtime story," Jesse said as he sat on the armchair while Joseph sat on his lap.

Joseph patted the page asking Jesse to flip the page so he did.

"This story is so interesting," he said nodding at the book he was holding.

She bent to give Joseph a kiss. "Fall asleep soon, baby," she said to him. "So that dada can go to sleep too."

"Sam sleeping?" he asked.

"Yeah, I was checking on her. She and Grace are out like a light."

"What about everyone else?" Jesse asked flipping the page again under Joseph's request.

"Everyone is getting ready for bed," she sighed straightening up. Jesse glanced at the door then took her hand in his and pulled her down gently before pecked her lips.

"I know what you're thinking," she said. "And, no, you're not spending the night in my bedroom. Chloe won't let me hear the end of it if she found out this way."

"What way?" He watched her straighten up.

"She can't catch you doing the walk of shame out of my room." She shrugged.

"You said she knows we're hooking up."

"We're not hooking up," she deadpanned.

"You're right we're not," he agreed. "We're dating. And no one knows we are. We went from pulling a Rachel and Ross to pulling a Chandler and Monica."

"We'll tell them when the time is right."

"And when is that?"

"When they leave."

"Is that a promise? I want to be affectionate with you in front of everyone."

"Yeah. I promise." She leaned in and kissed him. Joseph saw her do it and babbled something out of jealousy so she leaned down and kissed him too.

"Make it a pinky promise," he said when she pulled away and reached out his pinky finger. "Don't roll your eyes. We got back together three months and two weeks ago, and the time was never right. I want a pinky promise." He shrugged.

"Jesus," she sighed interlocking pinky fingers with him. "Fine. I hereby pinky promise you that we'll go public by Monday."

"Can't break a pinky promise, Beca," he said watching her make her way out of the nursery. "Put Joseph to bed." He heard her say.

"Okay," he inhaled. "You heard mama. C'mon, let's finish this and hit Snooze Ville," he told Joseph. "So I can go change mama's mind about where I'm going to sleep," he added when the little boy looked up and babbled.

* * *

"Jesus Christ, Jesse," Beca sighed when Jesse peeked his head through her bedroom door.

"I can't fall asleep. Do you have hot chocolate or tea that could help me fall asleep?"

"Yeah but you won't find them in my bedroom," she told him.

"I went to the kitchen; I can't find them." He shrugged playing dumb.

"Fine." Beca tossed the pillow on the bed and walked to him grabbing him by his shirt and closing the door. "You can spend the night here. But you will leave early in the morning 'cause I'm serious, Jesse, I can't handle my friends and my parents and their questions."

"Okay. I'll set the alarm clock to six." Jesse grinned and wrapped his arm around her waist and leaned in when she pulled him down.

"Happy birthday, Jesse," she said against his lips then kissed him. "Guess you are gonna get birthday sex after all," she mumbled as they kissed. He grinned picking her up walking to her bed.

"We don't have to have sex," he said pulling away the moment he laid her on the bed. "I just wanna spend the night with you and help you keep your ice cold feet warm and sniff you because you smell nice." He pecked her lips then grinned when she pushed him so he sat up.

"I was gonna tease you first but you're getting a blowjob now," she decided, pulling her hair up in a bun. "Who knew talking about my cold feet and your creepy habit of smelling me would someday become turn-ons," she sighed.

"Beca, marry me?" he blurted out.

"What?" she asked having missed what he said.

"Marry me," he repeated sitting up.

"No," she answered.

"Why not?" he asked. "Is it because we've just gotten back together?" he guessed.

"Yes," she nodded. "And also because I have a lot going in my life right now I can't add preparing a wedding into the mix."

"We don't have to throw a wedding," he shrugged. "Look. I don't see myself without else. I know for a fact that I wanna spend my life with you. I wanna wake up every day to your face. Our stars must be penguins or swans because these guys mate for life."

"I don't think that's how astrology works," Beca noted to which Jesse shrugged.

"Well, I want us to get married 'cause I wanna call you wife," he jokingly said. "That's, like, the main reason but I want to marry because when Sandra and I divorced I really thought I was done with marriage and didn't want to do it again but I don't feel that way with you." He smiled at her. "Also, health insurance and Tax cuts," he added.

"So romantic," Beca shook her head climbing on his lap.

"So, marry me?" he asked looking hopeful as she caressed his hair.

"I'm not in panic-mode that you brought marriage up which is a good thing," she told him. "The idea of committing to you with the intention of never leaving you doesn't sound bad." She leaned in and kissed him.

"Did we just get engaged?" he mumbled.

"I got one condition," she said pulling away.

"Shoot."

"I won't change my last name."

"Didn't expect you to change it," he shrugged. "And, I'm serious about not having to throw a wedding. Having already thrown one, I can say that it's mostly a waste of good money. But it doesn't mean I wouldn't plan one with you if you want to."

"We'll talk about this later," she decided. "I still wanna give you head which will fucking blow your mind." She licked her bottom lip.

"This transition is very smooth," Jesse said taking off her sweatshirt. "And I fucking love it when you give me a blowie but right now I wanna make out with you." He pulled her to him. "I should buy a ring ASAP," he mumbled when she pressed her lips against his.

"I still haven't said yes yet." She pulled her head back.

"Marry me and I will do our taxes," he offered.

"Every year?" she checked.

"Yes." He grinned when she pretended to think.

"We'll get the wedding bands on Etsy, I don't want an engagement ring."

"Oh, Becs, we should pick them for each other," he suggested.

"Don't go overboard and buy something really expensive," she warned. "I'm doing this for taxes thing," she joked.

"I know." He nodded. "And don't worry. You will love it," he assured her wrapping an arm around her. "Now, c'mere. It's my birthday and you just agreed to marry me without even saying yes: this is one of the greatest days of my life." He swiftly rolled on top of her.

* * *

Beca frowned when she woke up to knocking on the door. "Beca, are you coming down for breakfast?" Chloe asked from the other end of the door.

"Yeah, I'll be right down," Beca replied sitting up while she looked at Jesse who was sleeping next to her.

"Okay." She heard Chloe say as she shook Jesse.

"Get up." She shook him harder when he groaned.

"Morning," he lazily smiled waking up then leaned up pecking her lips. "You didn't leave," she deadpanned.

"I didn't hear the alarm when it went off." He sat up while he stretched his arms. "Why are you looking at me like that?" he asked.

"It's seven thirty. Chloe was just here calling me for breakfast."

"Don't panic. I'll sneak out. Everything will be fine." He placed a forceful kiss on her cheek and watched her climbed out of the bed and walk to her wardrobe so he got up and wore back his clothes from the night before.

"I'll see downstairs." Jesse placed a kiss on Beca's Rose tattoo on her shoulder then stepped back so she could wear her t-shirt.

Jesse made it out of Beca's room undetected. He made stop at Joseph's nursery to see if he was up and he was.

"Joe, buddy," Jesse grinned picking him up then blew raspberries into his stomach. "Let's go see mama, shall we?" he said glad that Joseph was in a good mood.

"Look who it is, Joe," Jesse said turning on his heels to find Beca at the doorway.

"Mama," Joseph waved his arms towards Beca.

"Good morning, Joe. Did you sleep well?" she said taking him from Jesse.

"I'll take that as a yes," she laughed when he placed a kiss on her lips.

Jesse grabbed Joseph's bathrobe and handed it to Beca. He smiled cheekily as he watched Beca walk out of the nursery and back to her bedroom to bathe Joseph then stepped out of the room as well deciding to go get some breakfast.

"Good morning, people," he greeted when he got to the kitchen and was met with a chorus of 'Good mornings' from those in the room, including his daughter who was deep into a waffle who he gave a kiss on the cheek.

"This is really good," he exclaimed when Sam held the waffle his way and let him take a bite.

"You're in a good mood," Chloe noted eyeing him up and down.

"Yesterday was my birthday and no one cared, why wouldn't I be in an excellent mood?" he joked making his way to the coffee machine to fill a mug of coffee.

"What, is there something on my face?" he asked when Stacie kept gazing at him.

"Your shirt is inside out," Stacie told as she added sugar to her mug of coffee and smirked at him.

"Who wants waffles?" Bumper called putting the waffles he just made on a plate.

"I do," Jesse said taking them from and making his way to the dining table to eat there.

"When are you shaving that mustache off?" Nicole asked when he sat down in front of her. "I know men have this phase where they think a mustache is the greatest thing ever but it never really lasts that long."

"I like the mustache," Jesse shrugged. "And Beca doesn't—" he stopped in his tracks realizing he was about to slip and tell Nicole and consequently everyone in the room that Beca didn't mind the mustache.

He regularly trimmed his mustache so that it never got on his upper lip and bothered her when they made out.

"—lie; she said it looked good on me and I believe her," he said finishing his sentence.

"I don't disagree with her. It does suit you."

"Thank you," he smiled at the knowing look in her eyes that say: 'I know.'

He made a mental note to tell Beca that her mother knew about them.

"Aw," Chloe cooed watching Beca hold hands with Joseph who was still figuring out how to not walk like Frankenstein. "Look who's up."

"Up up," Joseph repeated after her.

"C'mere, zombie," Jesse said pushing his chair back while he gestured for Joseph to walk to him.

"Go on, buddy," Beca encouraged when he looked up then gently guided him in Jesse's direction.

"Dada," Joseph called while reaching out his arms as he walked unsteadily and eventually fell.

"It's okay," Beca told him when he looked back at her.

Jesse grinned when he saw that Joseph was pulling himself up.

Beca walked up to him so he could hold on to her for support and smiled when he wrapped his arms around her leg. Joseph eventually let go of her and resumed his walk towards Jesse while Beca followed him.

"Well done, champ," Jesse picked him up and sat him on his lap kissing him on the cheek.

"Cham," Joseph clapped grinning.

"Yeah, champ," Jesse nodded then grabbed the waffle and stuffed it in his mouth.

"Jesse, I told you not to eat like you're running out of time in front of him," Beca said in annoyance knowing how likely Joseph was to pick the habit. "Take human bites," she added when he tilted his head while chewing.

"Okay," Jesse mumbled letting Joseph slide from his lap and hold onto Beca's leg. She sighed and picked him up when he kept tugging her at sweatpants.

Jesse almost choked on the waffles so he washed it down with coffee and got up get a refill. Standing in close proximity of Beca who had Joseph in her arms caused the little boy to wave his arm at Jesse then protectively wrap it around Beca's neck thinking Jesse was going to kiss her.

"Okay, you want mama, I get it," Jesse said holding his hands up. "I won't take you from her."

"I don't think he's doing it for that reason," Stacie spoke.

"You really suck at being discreet," Bumper told them as he flipped a pancake.

"We know, honey," Dr. Mitchell who just joined them along with Sheila smiled at her.

Beca took a look around the room and sighed meeting Jesse's gaze who wasn't even trying to keep the grin off his face.

"Fine, we're dating," she mumbled. "Can we go on with our lives now?" she asked.

"Yeah," Chloe nodded grinning.

"Who wants bananas pancakes?" Bumper asked.

"Me!" Exclaimed both Sam and Grace.

"This isn't so bad," Jesse said into Beca's ear.

"You just wait, buddy. Or leave now and save yourself from the lectures my parents will give and I'm not counting the teasing from the girls."

"I'm not going anywhere, future wife," he placed a kiss on her cheek when Joseph wasn't looking.

"Wife?" Chloe gasped over-hearing them.

"Fuck," Beca murmured. "Great job, Jesse," she glared at him.

"I'll handle it," he assured her pretending to roll his sleeves.

 **THE EFFING END.**


	27. epilogue

AN: Thank you all for your kind words and passing by. I hope you enjoy this epilogue.

* * *

"How did you even park here?" Sam wondered as she sat behind the wheel of Beca's car.

"What are you talking about? I could stand in the space between my car and the car next to it," Beca pointed out. "Both cars actually," she added looking at the other side.

"How do I get out?" Sam grimaced.

Beca reached for the gear and put the car in reverse mode. "Just look at the rearview mirror as you pull out," she told the sixteen-year-old who she still couldn't understand how she was able to pass her driving test.

"That's enough," she paused to look through the window at the wheel and how far they were from the car next to hers. "Okay, hit the throttle," she instructed seeing that Sam had turned the steering wheel. "Slowly, Sam!" she exclaimed when the much younger girl hit the pedal forcefully.

"You do it, Beca." Sam undid her seatbelt and prepared to exit the car.

"You're gonna have to learn to get out of a parking lot if you want to own a car," Beca told her as she removed her own seatbelt. "No, there's no need to get out," she said extending her leg to reach the pedals.

"You're really flexible," Sam noted when Beca sat back in her seat after she finished pulling the car smoothly out of the parking lot.

"Yoga, kid," Beca said.

Sam nodded and leaned the seat. "I always thought yoga is pointless."

"Helps me stay in shape but your dad is the one that truly benefits from it, to be honest," she mumbled.

"Since when does dad do yoga?" Sam wondered before it clicked in her head. "Ew, gross."

Beca managed to keep the smirk off her face at the disgusted look on Sam's face.

"Beca, you're not supposed to put this sort of things in my head. God!"

"I didn't say anything. You went there." Beca shrugged then fastened her seatbelt.

"But you knew I'd go there," Sam argued. "Speaking of Dad, are you still mad at him?"

"I was never really mad at him in the first place." Beca sighed. "But if I don't react when he pulls this sort of crap it will escalate to bigger stuff."

"I know Dad can be an idiot sometimes but he just overslept," Sam shrugged.

"Kid, I don't expect you to understand how a long term relationship works, but just know that the little things matter."

Sam nodded then glanced at Beca again when her phone rang.

"Yeah?" Beca said picking up on Jesse.

 _"Hey, hun, don't freak out okay?"_ he spoke with caution. _"Joe's school just called the house line. Said he's got a stomachache. Did you and Sam leave the doctor's office? You think you could go pick him up or do I go and get him?"_

"We'll get him." She frowned. "Did they tell you anything else? Is he vomiting?"

 _"They just said to go and get him, Bec."_

"Okay," she curtly replied.

 _"Call me if you decide to take him to the hospital."_

"Yeah, yeah, of course."

 _"Okay. Bye. Take care. I love you,"_ he carefully said.

"You too," she automatically replied.

"What is it?" Sam asked.

"Your brother is sick. We're gonna go get him."

* * *

"The doctor says he's fine," Beca told Jesse the minute he arrived. "Like really fine."

"So he was faking it?" Jesse frowned. Beca slowly nodded crossing her arms across her chest.

"And it _worked_!" he said in surprise. "Wow, our kid's got some talent, Becs." He glanced behind her at the room where Joseph sat on a bed while his sister sat on the chair keeping him company.

"Jesse, focus." Beca rolled her eyes.

"Right," he shook his head. "Why do you think he faked it?" he wondered.

"He wanted to leave school early," she shrugged. "For some reason."

"I'll try talking to him," he told her.

"No. I'll do it."

"Why can't I do it?" He arched an eyebrow.

"Because, just like Sam is her daddy's girl, Joe is his momma's boy." She sighed. "He'll open up faster to me."

"Yeah, you're right," he nodded. "Is this new?" he pointed at the leather jacket she was wearing.

"Knock it, Jesse, I'm still mad at you," she told him knowing where he was going.

"Oh, cmon, Becs. Not like you never overslept and forgot to do something."

"I have _never_ forgotten to pick up my family from the airport!" she hissed.

"I said I'm sorry, Bec. I didn't mean it."

"You spent the night working and getting high. Missing the alarm clock could have been avoided if you didn't smoke so much pot."

"Well. I did. And I forgot to come pick you up. I'm very sorry." He paused. "C'mon, Bec, it's been four days, let it go." He held her gaze and placed a hand on her shoulder. "What do you want me to do?" he asked in frustration when she shrugged his hand off.

"You could get Joe's discharge paper," Beca told him.

"Fine," he gave in. Beca smiled watching him walk away then turned on her heels.

* * *

"How's my boy feeling?" she asked as she entered Joseph's bedroom while holding a bowl of chicken soup playing along with what he was pretending to have.

"Okay," Joseph curly answered as he laid on his stomach.

"Sit up, Joe. I got you some soup that will help make you feel better," she told him.

"I'm not hungry," he mumbled against the pillow.

Beca put the bowl on his desk and walked to the bed.

"You won't get better if you don't eat something," she was saying as took a seat on his bed.

Joseph sat up and was wiping his cheeks.

"What's wrong, baby?" she asked climbing next to him on the bed.

"Nothing," he shrugged.

"We both know that's not true." She wrapped an arm around his shoulder and pulled him to her. "Tell me, Joe," she encouraged.

"Chris called me bastard at lunch. I didn't know what it meant. But it was obvious that it wasn't something nice," the nine-year-old mumbled. "I looked it up, though."

"Why was he picking on you?" Beca asked while rubbing his arm.

"I don't know," he shrugged. "He keeps saying mean things to me whenever anyone asks me if I met any of the people you work with last weekend."

"So he's jealous."

 _Fucking kids,_ she wanted to say.

"Of what? I didn't even go with you and Sam." He sniffed. Beca went to the Grammys over the weekend and took Sam and Joseph with her to L.A. Sam was her plus one at the event and Joseph stayed at Jesse's parents while Jesse stayed behind in NYC.

"Kids can be ruthless," she sighed.

"Am I really illegitimate?" he asked in a quivering voice recalling the definition he found online.

"Joe, the word bastard is mostly used in an informal way."

"How?"

"It's become a slang and is used to insult men in particular."

"But it is true. I am a bastard," he told her tilting his head to look at her. Beca hated the puffy eyes and the reason behind them so much.

"People used that word to refer to the child of a nobleman by a woman other than his wife. I love your dad but I'd hardly call him a nobleman and we didn't have you while he was married to another woman either," she explained. "Dad and I have been together for more than three years before we had you. You're very legitimate to us." She squeezed his arm. "The fact that we had you before we got married has no impact on who you are and doesn't make you less than Chris or anyone for that matter." She placed a kiss on his forehead.

"I lied to the school nurse so that you'd come and take me from there," he said coming clean. "Chris wouldn't stop and I wanted to make him stop but you said to stay out of trouble."

"Don't do it again, Joseph," she told him. "Don't lie. This time it worked. It's very unlikely to work next time."

Joseph nodded and rested his head against her chest. Just like his mom, physical contact comforted him and Beca was more than willing to provide any kind of comfort to him.

* * *

"So?" Jesse asked looking up from the book he was reading when Beca stepped into their bedroom.

"Some asshole at school called him a bastard," she informed him as she walked to her wardrobe to grab something to wear to bed. "It hit too close to home since Joe is technically one," she explained.

"Kids are ruthless," Jesse mumbled.

"That's exactly what I said," she said as she grabbed a t-shirt. "I explained to him how being born out of wedlock doesn't make him less than those who were born to married parents."

He sighed watching her slip her jeans off and enjoying the view she gave him and didn't look away when she turned on her heels. He actually watched her as she walked around the room and had long forgotten the novel he was reading.

Putting a bookmark on the book, he closed it and tossed it on the nightstand then laid across the bed to keep Beca from climbing on her side of the bed.

"Password, please," he said resting his weight on his elbow.

"Jesse, grow up."

"Password, please," he repeated.

Beca rolled her eyes then flashed him her boobs. He sighed then rolled over.

"Jesse," Beca called when he enveloped her in his arms.

"You wouldn't accept my apology so I'm gonna cling to you until you give in." He shrugged.

"I can feel your hard-on poking my back."

"I've missed you." He placed a kiss behind her ear. "Did I tell you how gorgeous you looked at the Grammys?" he asked and didn't wait for an answer. "I couldn't wait for you to come home so I could show you how much I fucking loved you in that dress," he said to her ear. "You looked amazing, Becs." He placed a kiss on the exposed skin of her shoulder. "And that red lipstick, wear it more often please." He made his way to her neck and pressed himself more against her.

"Are you done?" Beca asked, mustering her best indifferent tone.

" _Am I done_?" he asked in disbelief. "Aren't you feeling anything?" He pulled his head back and eyed her as she tilted her head.

"Yeah, your dick against my back," she told him.

"Beca, I'm sorry about forgetting to come pick you, Sam and Joe up from the airport," he apologized again a little frustrated with her then narrowed his eyes when he saw a hint of a smile on her lips.

"Don't forget about us again," she said leaning up to kiss him.

"I really missed you, you know?" Jesse mumbled.

"I can feel it." She leaned into him and smiled when he groaned.

* * *

"So good," Beca bit her bottom lip to keep herself from moaning. It was late at night and she really didn't want to wake Joseph and Sam up.

"Yes, yes, yes, Jesse…" She held on to the headboard. Leaning forward, she caused him to groan and grip her butt. He pulled himself up then flipped her so he was in control and could give her more.

He was over the moon when he felt her finally hitting the edge and let himself join her.

"Can you let go of my ass? It's starting to hurt," Beca mumbled.

"Sorry," Jesse apologized removing his hand. She grinned when he placed a soft kiss on her cheek before he rolled over.

"I don't think I've ever lasted this long," he told her rubbing his face, a lazy smile playing on his lips as he watched Beca use his chest as a pillow.

"Keep doing cardio, babe," Beca told him as she played with his chest hair.

"Beca. Dad." They tilted their heads hearing Sam call for them as she knocked.

"Yeah?" Beca answered. "What is it, Sammy?"

"Joseph is sleepwalking," Sam informed. "I tried to get him back to bed. He wouldn't let me," She was saying as Beca climbed out of the bed and walked to the bathroom to clean up before she got out of the room.

Jesse grabbed his sweatpants and wore them as well as his t-shirt before he unlocked the door.

"It's okay, Sam," he smiled at his daughter. "You go to bed now, we'll take care of Joe," he said as he pulled the door shut.

"Are you okay, dad?" Sam asked eyeing her father whose chest was going up and down as he tried to catch his breath.

"Yeah. Why?" he asked.

"You're out of breath," she pointed out. Jesse slowly nodded understanding the reason behind her question.

"Where is he?" he asked as they walked.

"He came over to my room. I closed the door and left him there to come and tell you." Sam glanced behind her hearing Beca unlock the door to hers and Jesse's bedroom and step out in Jesse's boxer shorts and one of his sweatshirt which was barely zipped.

"Where is he?" Beca asked as she tried to ignore the shakiness of her knees.

Sam pointed at her bedroom and watched Beca nod and make her way to the room.

"Is Beca walking like that because you were having sex just now?" Sam asked linking it to her father's shortage of breath.

"Yes," Jesse curly answered. His daughter was a teenager and despite the fact that it killed him a little that his baby girl was growing up he knew he had to accept it and be open about sex so that she'd never feel weird and talk to him about whatever she wanted.

"Why aren't your legs shaking?" she curiously asked.

"Male privilege?" he sighed, shrugging and crossing his arms across his chest.

"Not even funny, Dad." Sam rolled her eyes as they stood and waited for Beca to do what she always did because she just knew how to deal with Joseph whenever he walked in his sleep—, which was a habit of hers growing up—guide him back to bed.

"It's due to an endorphins rush and muscles relaxation in the vaginal area," he said giving her a legitimate answer.

"Sex does that?" She tilted her head to look at him.

Jesse shook his head watching Beca guide Joseph out of his sister's bedroom and head to his room. "An orgasm does." He smiled at the way Beca was holding on to Joseph as she walked.

"Good talk, Dad." She started to make her way to her bedroom.

"Good night, _Sammy_ ," he said in sing-song.

"Night," she said closing the door behind her.

Jesse walked to Joseph's bedroom and stood in the doorway.

"He's sleepwalking because he's upset," he yawned watching Beca stroke Joseph's curly locks.

"I know," she said and leaned down and placed a kiss on his forehead.

"I wanna punch the kid that upset him," Jesse mumbled reaching Beca then sighed. "C'mon, let's go to bed, I wanna cuddle." He picked her up bridal style.

"Sam figured out that we were just having sex," he informed her as he walked. "She asked about your knees."

"Oh yeah?"

"I explained it to her. She left. I think I found an easy way to make Sam go to her room."

"Leave her alone, Jesse," Beca said in amusement.

* * *

"Jesse," Beca called as they laid in bed.

"Uh-huh?" he answered sleepily pulling her closer to him.

"You think going to a public school is good for Joe?" she asked.

They discussed it when he was starting elementary school and figured it would be good for him and help build his personality if he went to a regular school—Beca especially was afraid he'd get snobby and think he's better than everyone else because of the fame her work brought. His dad worked in indie films only movie nerds knew him. But she worked in the mainstream and even took part in an animated motion picture for children where she produced the tracks and lent her voice: kids recognized her voice.

"Dunno," he shrugged. "His grades are alright." He placed a kiss on her temple.

"He's really sensitive, Jess. And I don't think he can handle all the bullying he gets."

He was rubbing his face as she talked.

"But then again homeschooling Joe could affect him in a different way."

"Beca, we'll put him in a private school if you want. Can I sleep now?" he mumbled.

She slapped his shoulder. "Our son is having a hard time at school and it's because of me and you want me to shut up so you could sleep? Sleep is more important than Joseph?"

"Of course sleep isn't more important." He sighed. "I care about how Joseph feels." Jesse rested his weight on his elbow as he sleepily looked at Beca. "I'd love to chat about it and figure it out but we had amazing sex and it's very draining and I just want to sleep."

Beca shook her head then gave him her back. "Good night."

"You're not mad at me, are you?" Jesse checked.

"No. Go to sleep."

Jesse wrapped her in his arms and pulled her to him when she didn't push him away. "We'll talk tomorrow, m'kay?" He placed a kiss behind her ear.

"Okay," Beca answered snuggling up to him. "FYI, I don't particularly like you right now because you're falling asleep," she told him.

"I love you, my slightly better half," he mumbled.

"You, too," she sighed.

* * *

Jesse grabbed a baseball cap and wore it before walking out of the room. "Hey, you know the doctor cleared her up, right?" he was saying over the phone to his ex-wife, who was away for work and wouldn't be back in NYC for another couple of weeks, and who he called to talk about their daughter.

 _"Yeah, Beca called me right after the appointment. Sam is milking her knee injury to keep skipping PE."_

"Weird, isn't it? Considering Sammy is on the soccer team."

 _"I'll talk to her and see what her deal is when I'm back."_

Sam had been going back and forth between her parents as she grew older. Neither one of them forced her to choose one house over the other.

Jesse was walking out of his and Beca's bedroom as he listened to Sandra and saw Sam leave her room.

"I'll try with her and tell you." Ending the conversation, Jesse caught up with Sam and threw an arm over her shoulder.

"Good morning, favorite daughter," he cheerfully greeted as he forcefully kissed the top of her head.

"I'm your only daughter." She looked up and gasped dramatically. "Unless you're cheating on Beca and had a girl with the mistress." They were walking down the stairs as they talked.

Jesse faked looking guilty. "I don't know what you're talking about."

"I'm devastated." Sam shook her head.

"Hi, devastated. I'm Dad," he grinned.

"I don't know how any woman would publically have a relationship you let alone agree to be the other woman with a sense of humor like yours, Dad."

"You're hurting my feelings, kid." Jesse clenched his chest. "As a matter of fact, I happen to be very popular with the ladies."

"Fake news," Beca yelled overhearing them as made sandwiches for Joseph and Sam to eat at school and causing Sam to burst into laughter.

"Don't listen to her," Jesse told Sam. "Becs just doesn't like that I get all attention."

"Babe, I get hit on by women more than you."

"Yeah, it's true, Dad. At first, I thought they were being friendly but at least four women tried flirting with Beca at the Grammys."

"Really, now?" Jesse wondered in surprise.

"They had a few drinks," Beca explained.

"What's flirting?" Joseph who had been eating his cereal in silence up to then asked.

"It's expressing attraction to the person you're attracted to through conversation and body language," Beca explained to her nine-year-old who was a little too quiet.

Joe nodded and looked down at his bowl of cereal.

"So, I'm gonna marathon StarWars later, who's joining me?" Jesse asked.

"I am," Joseph said when he met his father's gaze.

"Becs?" Jesse called while high-fiving who never disappointed him and was a loyal marathon buddy—until he fell asleep because he was still his mother's son.

"I can't pretend to tolerate those movies anymore. I don't get why they're so amazing. It's all Space nonsense."

Jesse dramatically gasped clutching his chest. "Starwars is awesome and you know it! Deep down, you know it!"

Beca rolled her eyes at how dramatically Jesse was acting.

"Sam, back me up," he turned to his daughter who was busy filling a bowl of cereal.

"Starwars is fun, Dad." She shrugged. "It has great characters. It's creative. The score is iconic." Jesse was nodding along to her words. "But it doesn't mean it should be worshiped." She sat down.

"See?" Beca smiled tightly at her husband pleased that Sam was speaking the truth and didn't give a diplomatic answer.

"Neither should Beyoncé, Beca." The young girl looked up at her step-mother.

"I'm not gonna argue with a teenager over music. I'm not gonna do it," Beca shook her head, mumbling to herself. "You're not gonna watch the movies with Dad until you finish whatever homework you have, okay?" she tilted her head to look at Joseph who nodded.

"Sam," Jesse called slowly.

"Of course, I'm in," she sighed.

"Bring your friend Tracy. I like that girl." He grinned.

"You mean you like that she shows interest in your never ending trivia?" Beca asked setting lunch bag in front of the siblings on the table where they sat eating breakfast.

"She's cool," Jesse shrugged.

"I actively avoid letting my friends be around you, Dad," Sam jokingly said. "I mean you give average looking nerds hope 'cause for some reason Beca married you which is great and all but I still want to have friends."

"Beca, honey, say something," Jesse said.

"I didn't marry you for your looks, that's for sure," Beca snorted meeting Jesse's gaze.

"Okay, now I'm hurt," he said keeping his expression neutral then he walked to the coffee maker to pour himself a mug of coffee.

"Jesse, I'm pretty sure it's a good thing that I didn't marry you because of your looks," Beca pointed out as Jesse made his way to where she was standing.

"You make a good point," he said after a beat of silence.

"For real, though, Beca, why did you marry Dad?" Sam asked through a mouthful of cereal.

"I didn't panic nor did it feel wrong when Dad asked me if I would marry him," Beca shrugged she looked towards Jesse feeling his gaze. He leaned in and pecked her lips. "And you wouldn't believe the tax cuts we got after marriage," Beca added leaning into Jesse's side when he wrapped an arm around her.

"I wouldn't understand them either," Sam shrugged.

* * *

"What am I looking at?" Beca asked rhetorically as she stood in the living area and tossed her keys on the table along with her bag—she had a long day at work and couldn't wait to get home, expecting the marathon to be over and that everyone would have gone to bed as it was a school night and planning to run a hot bath then fall into deep slumber— she was actually looking at the man she married and his two children sitting in what seemed to be a pillow fort while they watched one of the star wars movies.

Jesse glanced at her then back at the screen and reached out a hand for her, inviting her to come. Beca looked at the huge TV screen and sighed noting that it was the 'Luke, I am your father' scene, which explained why the three were too caught up in the movie.

She stepped out of her boots and took off her jacket before she made her way to where they sat.

"You've seen this movie more times that I can care to count. We all know what happens next. Heck, we even know what happens twenty years later in the timeline!" She hated that she knew so much about StarWars but who could blame her?

"Thirty," Joseph mumbled, correcting her, sharing a bowl of popcorn with Sam, and making Beca roll her eyes.

Jesse pulled Beca onto his lap and placed a kiss behind her ear and it wasn't long until he started giving her a neck rub.

* * *

"I got through to them," Jesse said in a voice only Beca would hear, to avoid waking up the siblings who fell asleep, as he and Beca continued to watch the third and last part of the original trilogy.

Beca leaned against him, crossing her legs at the ankles.

"Both of them." He grinned. "I know you worry about Joseph but he likes his school and I'm telling you, Bec, he's fine and doesn't need us to make things better for him. Talking to him, he made it clear that he doesn't need us to interfere."

"He told all this?" Beca wondered while Jesse rested his chin on top of her head. She felt him nod.

"He's a softie at heart but copes well. And I think his experience at school is helping build his personality." Beca tilted her head to look at him. "I know he's honest and not just saying things to get me off his back because he had this serious look in his eyes—" He gazed down at Beca who was looking at him. "—he had this look right here," he nodded at her then placed a kiss on her forehead.

"What about Sam? She told you why she's avoiding PE and soccer practice?" she asked in an equally low voice.

"Yeah. I promised I wouldn't tell but you don't count 'cause you're my slightly better half." Beca nodded understanding that she had to pretend to know nothing. "Long story short: She and a teammate kissed at the locker room and now she's avoiding her because she's feeling bad since the girl has a boyfriend. And the whole thing is confusing the fuck out of her."

"Poor thing," Beca apologetically said, feeling bad for the teenager. "What did you tell her to do?" Not that she didn't trust him to give good advice, she just wasn't sure he was capable of giving advice to his sexually confused teenage daughter.

"I told her to do what she feels is right." He shrugged. "I trust her to do the right thing and confront the girl," he confidently said.

Beca cupped his cheek and rubbed her thumb against his cheekbone. "You're a good father, did you know that?" she asked.

"I try to." He smiled when she closed her eyes and leaned up to kiss him and kissed her back tenderly.

"You're unbelievable sometimes," Beca mumbled pulling away when she realized he was watching the movie as they made out.

"Where are you going?" he asked when she climbed off his lap.

"Get the kids to go to bed," she said before she carefully and gently shook Sam waking her up and told her to go to bed then did the same with Joseph and watch them make their way to the stairs.

"Don't come to bed until you clean the place," she told Jesse as she got on her feet.

"You're not gonna come and finish Return of The Jedi with me?" he was asking as glanced away from the movie.

"No. I'm gonna run a hot steamy bath." She stretched.

He hummed at her tone. "Am I allowed to join you?" he wondered.

"No, you finish your movie," she said and began walking away. "It's getting to the best parts," she waved at the TV.

Jesse looked between the TV and the stairs then got up and followed Beca.


End file.
